This message, then, is for the Mr. Peenees of this world who said, "Since the people who bought my house insisted the yard come with it, I will not be able to compete this year."
If you don't have a garden, send me a photo of your houseplant(s). Or the floral arrangement on your dining room table. Or tie a bow around that stalk of celery in your fridge.
I do, however, draw the line at this sort of thing...
Oh! I have house plants! Some are even older than six months.
ReplyDeleteSx
I have a six-foot weeping fig, a thirty-year-old aspidistra, two peace lilies, an orchid, spider plants, streptocarpus and hippeastrums. Did I win yet [copyright Mr LX]? Jx
ReplyDelete"streptocarpus and hippeastrums"
DeleteSome penicillin should clear that up! [rimshot]
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNothing quite beats a good rimshot, Mr Lax... Jx
DeleteA photo like that with nary a tease of dick or sack?
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell's going on?
Testosterone will soon let you know.
DeleteWaiting with bated breath!
The thighs are rather fetching.
DeleteNorma dear,
DeleteOur Mitzi knows,
informed and such,
the comings and goings,
of my surmising touch.
You dear heart,
and bless your soul,
the Internet police,
have restricted pole.
It seems the bod,
unclad and gleaming,
is formally discouraged,
from view or streaming.
As for yours,
we look afar,
your quick to splay,
our decorum you jar.
Sometimes a gent,
poses discrete,
imagination blooms,
detailing his treat.
A gal like you,
forever in heat,
must embrace the nuance,
not be so concrete.
Could not that 70s lad,
(see photo above)
nutcrack those thighs,
spurt all his love?
Tawdry you,
in ribald shame,
want to count the rugae,
give each of his nuts a name.
You'd likely discuss,
his penis for days,
the contour, the tip,
his semen's gentle haze.
You'd go into detail,
his musk and his must,
remove all the doubt,
measure what he'd bust.
Short of engaging,
and tasting his stew,
we simply wonder as men,
how he'd feel, smell, and do.
Back to our world,
restricted and all,
The Haye's Code revisited,
slip in a bulge, crack, or ball.
lyrics after my own heart testosterone. a coffee table book of your words is what my home is missing.
DeleteThe pages in my copy are all stuck together.
DeletePoetry can do that to you sometimes.
Blogger's not letting me sign in, Love, Norma
Are you using Safari, Ms Norma? If so, go to Safari Preferences and untick 'Prevent cross-site tracking'. Then Blogger should allow you to sign in.
DeleteSx
Ms. Scarlet! You're a fucking genius!!!
DeleteTHANK YOU! You saved me so much time & aggravation! Locked out no more.
I'm very pleased that I could be of help!!!
DeleteSx
Will Miss Scarlet consider a position as assistant to LX in his duties as Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress?
DeleteI would be honoured!!
DeleteSx
Bonus points for punctuality!
DeleteIs that a Mother in Law's tongue? Tongues are vicious things and they forever wagging too.
ReplyDeleteHappy (American) Thanksgiving!!!
ReplyDeleteBITCHES: Mitzi's right... that houseplant is indeed a Mother-in-law's tongue (aka sanseveria) and it's so easy to grow that even LX could keep it alive.
ReplyDeleteIt used to be THE plant of choice for the windows of Chinese restaurants, which some of you older Bitches might recall.
As for why there is nary a tease of dick or sack, Tumblr has made it difficult for me to find dic pics without actually JOINING Tumblr to see their adult-themed blogs. I'm afraid this blog is going downhill fast without the dick content. Sigh. Thanks for continuing to frequent this dump.
I think all this dirty talk about tongues, dicks and tumblers is suffice to keep us all here, dear. Jx
DeletePS Last time I looked, the new regime in charge of Tumblr (and Huff Post; an odd combination) now allowed you to log in using Google - of which Blogger is a part.
Oy vey!
DeleteJust tried gaining access to one of Tumblr's adult-themed blogs and it asked me for my email address. So far, so good. But then it said I couldn't go any further without a Tumblr account. The Mistress cannot deal with yet another account and the inevitable headaches that come with it.
DeleteThe Mistress thanks you for your continued patronage.
My orchids are either past it, or on the verge of flowering, and my decades old peace lily (Spathiphyllum "Mauna Loa") needs an awful lot of Vaseline smeared on Camera's lens before it can be seen in public, so no houseplants from me.
ReplyDeleteVaseline? You keep the company in business.
Deletegood thing my Mistress is away, otherwise he'd be sending in a full bloom of his Bird of Paradise.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I can find a living plant in my rooms ...
ReplyDeleteMistress, check your email, please.
ReplyDeleteFinally checked my email. Apologies for the delay.
Delete