Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Spring Forward

The Mistress has not yet witnessed the arse end of winter.

It continues to snow.

The weekend saw a freezing rain storm lasting 48 hours with a major power outage.

A few days before that, the temperature was -18°Celsius (-0.4°Fahrenheit).

The nation is gripped in existential despair...

And The Mistress is cranky.


  1. I see the freezing weather hasn't blocked your view of a full moon...

    Have some hot chocolate to warm yourself and enjoy some maple candy. Your wildlife has the right idea to deal with winter. Bears hibernate and birds fly south. I hope spring arrives soon.

    Do what I do to pass the time in winter: Make myself some umbrella cocktails, play some tropical/vacation/party music and dance in the living room, snack on some comfort food, lay out on the chair/recliner, and pretend I'm on a tropical beach in paradise.

  2. The Twin Cities had the same hell descend upon it. Thankfully, more promised snow for today never made it up and Sunday should reach 60 degrees.

    Did Mother Nature have an affair with
    Donald and was she shut down by his fixer too?

    1. Norma,

      The cabin crowd,
      in sweaty luxe,
      share their bits,
      for stuffing, and tucks.

      Norma's folds,
      are left to shiver.
      A horny man's eye,
      ain't blindly a giver.

      A charity chest,
      with toys of old,
      for Norma's neathers,
      left pricked and rolled.

      For pumped with intel,
      The Mistress instills,
      they cherish her tunnel,
      and slurp up her spills.

      You can watch, dear Norma,
      vibrator in hand,
      it's YOUR wrist that's carpal,
      thyne slit is unmanned.

      The Mistress, like others,
      commands what she seeks.
      Woodland creatures in rut,
      who burrow in cheeks.

      For so small a promise,
      Mother Nature won't stoop,
      The Donald, like Norma,
      can't stir the soup.

      Know that the Mistress
      serves a heady affair,
      her crowd pleaser in place,
      a pile of keys near her lair.

      At your place, Norma.
      only the snow gets plowed
      The Mistress gets white stuff,
      and next she gets chowed.

  3. Even worse it looks like Mr Beastie has found the back entrance and is crawling up your stairs. Have a bunch of bananas on standby!
    Spring has sprung in the UK... well, for the time being. Your Spring will come soon and it will be glorious.

    1. Beast crawling up anyone's back stairs is enough to impart existential terror!

      And in the far East of the UK, we've bypassed Spring and gone straight to Summer. It's too hot!

  4. What is this "snow" you complain about ?

    Cranky or not - welcome back !
    Here is an uplifting version of a happy song fitting the occasion !

  5. Go and pour yourself a large glass of Blue Bols with ice and listen to Boney M, it will lift your spirits.

  6. Spring is running late this year.

  7. First we were frozen, then we were warm and then it rained and we were frozen again and this was all in the space of a week here! I think Mother Nature is giving us all a great big fuck you, ingrates! And we're looking at hurricane season soon. *jesus wept* xoxox

  8. BITCHES: It is now April 19th. And it continues to snow. The weather man promises spring will finally make an appearance this weekend.

    So I finally get a couple of days off and my wrist starts hurting from working too much. I won't be popping round to comment on your blogs 'til I've given my wrist a break. Not a literal "break" of course.

    Carry on!

    1. Why not use a vibrator next time.
      Should be far easier on that sore wrist.

    2. We understand and are very impressed by how busy you've been giving your clients excellent service and the happy ending they paid for.

      Repetitive Strain Injury sucks. Rest that wrist. We (and your clients) wouldn't want you to lose your magic touch.

  9. Same here in Upstate New York, it snowed all day today but thankfully no accumulation. Annoying but mostly because I manage a gift store and foot traffic is way down and sales this month not so hot. Ah well, in no time it will be in the 90s and humid as hell.


  10. I am glad I don't live in Canada. This could, of course, explain why darling Justin Trudeau is in London at the moment. Jx

  11. Temperatures are getting a little better this week. Spring might stick this go round.

  12. *mwah*

    Come back now please.
    This sad arse has nothing "spring" here.


  13. I fear in her dispare the Mistress wandered out into the last snow storm and fell into a snow drift. Her last thoughts surely were about her next blog entry.

  14. Yes, where are you? You are missing all the fun. Mago has turned orange, I have orange highlights... and Savvy is posting everyday.... PLUS... some of your bitches are so bored that they have been reduced to visiting me for entertainment. I have done my best... I have slapped up a couple of Youtubes... one featuring Paloma Faith, but I'm not sure how long this is going to keep them amused!
    Anyhow, I hope you are well and that your return is imminent.

    1. Her wrist must still be bothering her. Or she went away with Norma again.

  15. What Scarlet said because I was thinking the same thing and she beat me to it! I miss you. xoxo

  16. Spring has yet to sprung around here.