Sunday, June 28, 2015

Houseguests

Houseguests will be showing up tomorrow and staying for a week...


[via]

As you can imagine, The Mistress is busy preparing for their arrival.

Suggestions and tips welcome to ensure a pleasant visit.

24 comments:

  1. Hide plenty of beer & liquor under your bed so you can keep your snoot full while they're staying with you. This will make the visit more pleasant for you, I don't know about them though...

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  2. Make them leave after three days and/or make them clean, daily. In any case, remind them that nothing says "thank you" like the extravagant restaurant dinner of the beneficent host's choice.

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  3. Well, I know I always find it a nice touch when my host leave a mint, condom, and fresh flowers in the room.

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  4. "Come and knock on our door..."

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  5. Offer to do their laundry, take all their clothes so that they have to walk around naked the whole time.
    Sx

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  6. Replies
    1. Enough to drive even the most stubborn houseguests away! Jx

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    2. it seems LX enjoys walking around with stickers on his forehead.

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  7. Ummm... Offer them complementary vouchers for the Infomaniac House of Beauty? Or, failing that, a tour of the Oubliette?

    Oh, sorry. You said you wanted a pleasant visit...

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  8. you should pack an overnight
    bag and get the fuck out of there.

    a lovely gesture of welcome might
    include leaving a cum rag on the nightstand.

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  9. One of these filled with K-Y Jelly will be such a boon for your guests.

    Top Tip:
    If you're cheap and not so cheerful, a large tub of 'wet look' hair gel from the pound shop will work just as good as KY and for the fraction of the price.

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  10. House guests already? You are quite the glutton for punishment.
    I suggest you put them up in the Cheese Room... that's sure to give them a thrill and there is no need to worry about a menu... It's the perfect "all you can eat" option and they don't even need to leave the room... Pop a fondue set and a stale baguette on the beside table and your work is done....

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  11. Make sure the hidden cameras don't whir... Jx

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  12. Have lots of cake ready, give the poutine delivery man a key and refresh the abo of the porn channel. If they are bloody intellectuals of the artsy-fartsy type, chain them to the Oscar-Peterson-Memorial.

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  13. Replies
    1. Thank you for your Canada Day wishes.

      And let us all congratulate Norma on another year of living!

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    2. i'll have you know i'm as old as canada though you'd never know it to look at me. unless of course you sawed of my leg & read the rings.

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  14. *hostess that i am* enjoy your guests, sweetpea!

    Happy Canada day! *Oh Canada* xoxoxox

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  15. I always have a list of convincing alibis ready for my guests in case the cops come asking inconvenient questions.

    And by "house guests" I'm assuming you mean tricks who are paying for overnight.

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  16. Joyeuse Fête du Canada, ma chérie.

    I'm late... as usual. Even in the bedroom....

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    Replies
    1. You're so late that it's now the Americans' turn for a fête.

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    2. Joyeuse Bastille!

      Am I early enough for you now?

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