Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Situation Worsening

Yakuza Men ready for dubious action with Mistress MJ…

But just in time, Mistress MJ is rescued by 74-year-old Japanese porn star Shigeo Tokuda


Conditions of rescue are that Mistress MJ must make an “art film” with Tokuda.

Despite rumours of a fling with Old Knudsen, Mistress MJ is not into geezer porn.

Nonetheless, Tokuda insists Mistress MJ remove her false teeth and, I quote, “Gum me to death!”

Hundreds of Japanese women queue up as film extras (pervs may click to make bigger)

Bitches: As Director of this film, I require your assistance. Please tell me what scenarios you’d like to see played out by Mistress MJ, Tokuda-san, and the cast of extras. If you want a bit part in the film, write yourself in. Oh, and any film title suggestions?


  1. How about a remake of Memoirs of a Geisha? and if you're using gay extras, make that Gaysha!

  2. 2nd title submission: Pearl Necklace Harbor

    And I'd like a job as a production assistant to help these ladies find their marks.

  3. How about a porn version of the fish tale Free Willy
    starring Old Kudsen as Moby 'Dick'

  4. Whatever it is, I just want an executive producer credit.

  5. just want to get in before cream of "someoleguy" is taken... yeah i'll be back...

    *commenting at night is like a "pre-comment" before tomorrow*

    wait what hapened....

    *wakes up with "pre-comment" all over self*

  6. 'MJ does Dallas'...and New York...Washington, California, all of Canada..

    I'm thinking along the lines of a Jap porn special, namely a Scat movie. I personally will not be appearing in this one, way too stinky for me.
    This could be a Japanese remake of 'Two Girls One Cup' but with you taking on both rolls.

    Lights, camera, bring on the cup, ... and ACTION!

  7. Kum Bum (closely followed by Kum Bum2)?

  8. I'd like to see a giant game of Twister!

  9. They all have cocks like silk worms - I've never been a rice queen.

  10. Titles:

    MJ (Mistress of Japan)
    MJ, BJs in PJs
    Memoirs of a Gheysha
    Land of the Rising Bum
    Turning Japanese!

  11. I clicked and made bigger.
    Oh yes.

  12. Mochi Mounties

    Mistress MJ and the women are forced to work in a yakuza-owned mochi factory in sweatshop conditions under boss Tokuda-san. MJ's station is at the end of the production line where she sits on each mochi to give it that je ne sais quoi. MJ sabotages the operation by convincing Tokuda-san to introduce maple syrup flavored mochi, which fails miserably in the Japanese market. The factory closes and MJ and the girls romp into the sunset. The end.

  13. How about Mjangoo: O Filho Adotivo?

  14. Mistress MJ must make dim sum for Tokuda-san, and do the Chinese Fire Drill ritual without her false teeth.

    It shall be called: Dim Sum for Hung Dong

    I will not write myself into this production, but I will provide the egg rolls.

  15. Eros-san: Gay sub plot in works.

    Employing “ketsuman” of IVD (meaning “front bottom” in Japanese)

    Beast-san: Better to have Old Knudsen as Moby’s dick.

    Need wide angle lens for Old Knudsen-san.

    Boxer-san: You no first.

    I no listen.

    Voices-san: Scrub self vigorously with loofah.

    Why breath smell of pickles?

    Bollix-san: You need lucky poo.

  16. Carnalis-san: Very cute.

    Like to lick Carnalis’ thighs.

    Joe-san: Joe-san need Turd Twister.

    Frobi-san: You more spice queen than rice queen.

    Liking to lick Ma Beastie’s chickpea curry off young boys’ silk worms.

    Kapi-san: “MJ, BJs in PJs.”

    Kapi hired as fluffer.

    Daisy-san: Mistress MJ make son rise too.

  17. Istvanski-san: You man with 50 knickers.

    How you get so many?

    You have secret way with ladies?

    XL-san: Maple syrup?

    What not to like?

    Good Canadian product.

    Mistress MJ taste good like maple syrup mochi.

    CyberPete-san: How about CyberPoof-san appear in gay sub plot?

    Random-san: Director-Man no taking advice from freak girl.

    Have been warned by Yakuza-Man of Random-san’s penis-biting.

  18. Depends who is starring in this gay sub plot and what you'll pay.

    In the end it always comes down to money and hotness.

  19. I'd like a behind the scenes role - That of costume director. I'd get some clothes on those poor naked girls first. Then I'd fashion some kind of industrial strength crotchless thong for your ping-pong ball scene.

  20. A giant Busby Berkeley dance routine would be good, climaxing with the naked mistress MJ and Shigeo bursting forth from a giant wedding cake.

  21. CyberPete-san: Yakuza-men say Danish boy good for all bum fun roles.

    IVD-san: Yes, we use your behind in all scenes.

    Front bottom too.

    Garfer-san: Busby Berkeley favourite choreographer of Mistress MJ.

    Director-Man hire Garfer-san for all dance numbers.

    Make cast stand spread-eagled legs.

    Have Garfer-san slide under with camera.


  22. title: The Sound of Music
    story: Spunky novice nun MJ explains to reverend mother Beast that she prefers spunk to religion. meanwhile an unmarried man (played by tokuda san) who's children dress in curtains sings high on a hill with a lonely goatherd. Nudity ensues. a lone native american paddles slowly through, a tear trickling down her cheek. the goatherd wades out and the nazis invade poland. cue credits.

  23. Nations-san: Goatherd part goes to who?

    Old Knudsen not available. Playing Moby’s dick.

    Wanting to look under Reverend Mother Beast’s habit.

    That part with teary Native American make Director-Man cry.


  24. There must be a midget. Moooog might be available.

  25. Danish boy good for bum bum action if paid lots of "kane"

  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

  27. Yes but he is special

    Bum bum fun on camera with old filthy men not so fun.


  28. Forgive. Director-Man have to delete previous message. Start again now.

    Catscratch-san: Catscratch-san obsessed with midget sex.

    Also Eddie Waring in L.A.

    He gone long time.

    Time for new posting, Eddie-san.

    CyberPete-san: You spread butt cheeks for free for David Boreanaz.

  29. CyberPete-san: Bend over.

    Director-Man put kane in coin slot.

  30. hey little man director - make the movie about me. Why waste your time on the gaijin? I can sing and dance, but nobody will ever let me stretch... I can do the killing thing too.

    and I have a very large... tail.

  31. *bends over and waits*

    Is it in yet?

  32. It's just interesting to have so many nekkid chicks to compare tittage and to see who has the perfect tits. One has good tits - standing to attention and pointing out. The rest are not worthy of anime art really. Percentages aren't great for you females.

    I'm happy that I can be fugly, wealthy and charming and get my pick of banana jugs.

  33. Bukkake, Bukkake, Bukkake !!!

  34. Godzilla-san: Why you not go to house of Anonymous Boxer and stomp on house?

    Careful to removing cute Chihuahuas first.

    Leave Boxer inside.

    She like it big.

    CyberPete-san: Next time I use Canadian toonie coin.

    Crump-san: You fugly enough to be Ron Jeremy stunt double.

    Get inside film.

    Heff-san: You sound like something stuck in throat.

    Sausage go down wrong way?

  35. Come and read all about PART II of mystery trip! And there will be a PART III as well (our eating pleasure)! LOL! Thanks for stopping by! It was lovely to see you there!

    OMG! This is so fucking hilerous! Japanese porn...are you serious?! MJ must be behind all this...she big producer and provider of all monies I am sure of it! Hmmm..a title for so-called Japanese porn?!

    About Hello Kitty really makes them purr...!
    Baawwaaaahaaaaa! *hit head on computer desk from laughing so hard*

  36. how come those guys don't have any tattoos? hey, i thought you were working? xoxox

  37. letter to miss MJ you come get Ly Chao Li in hospital very bad messed up by gangster. you shake tailfeather i your boss pimp man still. the mad girl come she say i not have money they throw me in parking lot shrub with sign say i big lazy man no have money. need very muchly transplantings of new maleness. you talk to friend have piss hat, he donate maybe some. very pain. you send money for bill. no send camembert like last time.

  38. Robyn-san: Hitting self in head not advisable.

    Funny American custom.

    Director-Man no understanding.

    Savannah-san: Mistress MJ busy working. True.

    Director-Man and Yakuza-Man keep her employed.

    See? No MJ in comments.

    She making important art house film.

    She still make posting for your enjoyment.

    Anon-san: Yakuza-Man find you and throw you in toilet planter!

    Rolling cheese downhill find you! SWISS cheese. Full of holes. Bullet holes!

  39. I'm just all aghast. Or is that A Gassed? Now I get the Yakuza-Man reference.

    You are amazing.

    Happy voyage-san.