Sunday, August 03, 2008

IVD Gets Lucky!

As you recall from yesterday’s posting, our friend Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) enlisted the help of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service to help him find a man.

Well, I’m happy to report another success story as our phone lines were swamped with calls…

Hello? Is this Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service? That young fella IVD is hot stuff! We want him on board!

Well, hello sailors!

Here are just a few of the crew members who signed up to date IVD…

We hear ya like seamen, IVD. Care to cum aboard and inspect our packages?

I used to be a ginger!

Nom nom nom

It’s up to you now, IVD. They’re positively falling at your feet!

Okay everybody, sing along! IN THE NAVY...


  1. Pretty sure the ex-ginger is actually Ernest Borgnine, shown here in an outake from 'McHales Navy' c.1964 ...

  2. that first picture .. cute. Such curly hair!

  3. Is it a naval tradition to dress to the left then?

    Just wondering. I wouldn't *normally* notice that kind of thing of course.

  4. Young Sinatra is sharp, no wonder the ladies threw their undies at him ...

  5. I wouldn't mind having a go with the fellas in the first photo.

    Mago is right. Hast du recht.

  6. Thank you MJ. It has been a marvellous turn out. I've decided to take the one who made the call in the first picture.
    As for those in the second pic, I can inspect their packages quite easily from here - Their goods look like they might not be up-to-scratch, what with all the smushing and all.
    As for "I used to be a ginger!" - But you're not now. Good day to you, sir.
    And you two at the back? If you weren't to busy stuffing your faces (not even suggestively - very poor show, there) you may have stood a chance.

    I'll be otherwise engaged for the next few hours, don't wait up!

  7. If they really allowed cowboys and injuns into the US Navy they'd spend all their time clearing up horse shit.

  8. ANGELA: Seems he’s had his gap fixed.

    Did you know that Ernest Borgnine really WAS in the Navy in real life?

    Fascinating fact of the day!

    CARNALIS: Do you suppose the curliness of the cuffs matches the curliness of the collar?

    BETTY: They can be commanded to dress left OR dress right.

    MAGO: He’d have to be sharp to pull Ava Gardner.

    CYBERPOOF: Those bulging moose knuckles could be prevented by applying talcum powder to their crotches before they put on their pants.

    Prevents chafing too.

    IVD: You just got yourself one hell of a dance partner!

    GEOFF: And let’s face it…

    Seahorses can’t really hold their own in battle.

  9. So IDV likes Gene Kelly.
    Frank Sinatra with the curls and Marlon Brando.

    No I'm not that old, just a good memory as a kid watching films with my daddy.

  10. I'm so glad people are finding love through your services!

  11. why are you telling me about moose knuckles?

    I didn't see any of that in the first photo.

    Saucy minx

  12. That fat man has no trousers on tee hee!

  13. 'There's Nothin' Like A Dame', right boys? but you're in luck... IDV is NOTHIN' like a dame!

    what happens belowdecks STAYS belowdecks. pass the anchovy paste!

  14. TATAS: Did you say you have a good memory or good mammaries?

    LEAH: Let love be my legacy.

    CYBERPOOF: Maybe they’re just really, really happy to see you.

    MUTLEY: AND he’s wearing white after Labour Day!

    NATIONS: You say IVD is nothin’ like a dame?

    Then why is Tom Jones singing IVD’s theme tune?

  15. OMG! The Ginger pic ... Is he about to drop anchor???

  16. JOE: If he drops anchor, somebody's gonna have to go on mess duty.

  17. If I had known sailors were going to be popular I would have mentioned THE FLEET is in my town this weekend for SeaFair.

    But it looks like you rounded up plenty.

  18. BOXER: Have you picked up the phone and called "Dial-A-Sailor"?

  19. Well I hope so.

    That's always nice, I'll invite them in for a cup of tea

  20. Is Fleet Week IDVs busiest time of year?

  21. Worse things happen at sea , so they say.....IVD's date is about to find out if thats true :-)

  22. Is that car the Dating Service's limousine?

  23. Rum, sodomy, and the lash.

    He's sure to be a happy bunny.

  24. Was that really the uniform?

  25. CYBERPOOF: There's year-round demand for IVD's services.

    Fleet Week notwithstanding.

    TONY: Rehearsals for The Pirates of Penzance are down the hall.

    Third door on your left.

    BEAST: You talk as if you've been to sea, Billy.

    XL: IVD is a witch therefore he travels by broom.

    GARFY: Rum, sodomy and the lash?

    He'll be in his element.

    MATT: Eh?

  26. Makes me run right over to recruiting.

  27. Mmm. Sinatra, Kelly and That Other Guy. Vintage hotness.

  28. PIXMAKER: I hear Army and Navy is hiring.

    T-BIRD: Nothing but the best for our IVD.

  29. So IDV's found himself a Macho Macho Man, or three. Will they be staying at the YMCA?