Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Shopping Germs


If you’re like Mistress MJ and you

a.) Carry not one, not two, but THREE different types of anti-bacterial products in your handbag.
b.) Flush public toilets with your foot.
c.) Wash new clothes before you wear them.

Read on…


Planning a shopping excursion this holiday season?

Protect yourself from the 8 GERMIEST PLACES in the mall …

1. Restroom sinks
2. Food court tables
3. Escalator handrails
4. ATM handpads
5. Toy stores
6. Fitting rooms
7. Gadget shops
8. Makeup samples

Read the full story here for the sickening details.

[via]

*dons hazmat suit before heading out the door*

32 comments:

  1. not only do i put shoed foot to toilet handle
    to flush it, i piss on it first. your welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *Ditto what Norma said.

    However I have been known to walk out of thrift stores wearing used clothing that hasn't been washed in 50 years albeit looking like a million dollars.

    My friend Patrick said not to worry as they have probably come up with cures for the antique diseases that cling to your garments.

    ReplyDelete
  3. my Mom was a nurse so we were taught at a young age to never touch anything in a hospital... I pull my shirt over my fingers just to push the elevator button.

    Another really germy thing? The bottom of our purses. Think where we put those?

    ReplyDelete
  4. ***shudders after reading the first two comments and bathes self with wet wipes***

    To be honest, I dread to think what is lurking on my keyboard...

    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Boxer - What about eating the rogue Certs candy and Chiclet gum that swam around in loose face powder in the bottom of my Mom's purse?

    I never get sick. I'm probably immune from wearing germy thrift clothes and eating filthy purse dwelling candies.

    *Heads out to the mall knowing I wear an armor of anti-bacterial flesh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh lordy, m*ty!!! just the thought of all that geeeegh next to your gorgeous hine makes me frantic!!!You've got antique old man butthole crumbs on you! and dried stoma lube! and pickled armpit! and waxy old ancient egyptian weenis clams!!! Seriously, dude, never never do that again! SAVE THE 8!
    *dashes off to bathe in isopropyl and steel wool on Ayem8ty's behalf*


    I think the germiest place in any store is about child level on all the shelves. Toys'r'us? Fuggeddaboudit. The second? any restroom which has just been used by a (sorry about the stereotype but I swear it holds true) elderly Middle European lady-even one that grew up here. They turn 60 and suddenly whammo, they do not care what they do where or stick their hands in or on. I think they take out their dentures and lick everything too, just like in 'Pink Flamingoes.' You're talking to a lifelong asthmatic who makes a lot of trips up and down the i-5 corridor. I KNOW this, kids. Use those free cowboy hats. Liberally. *dons hazmat suit*

    ReplyDelete
  7. NORMADESMOND: not only do i put shoed foot to toilet handle
    to flush it, i piss on it first. your welcome.


    You’re hardcore, Norma.

    I thought that only worked on jellyfish stings.

    AYEM8Y: *Ditto what Norma said.
    However I have been known to walk out of thrift stores wearing used clothing that hasn't been washed in 50 years albeit looking like a million dollars.
    My friend Patrick said not to worry as they have probably come up with cures for the antique diseases that cling to your garments.


    They may come up with cures for antique diseases but will they come up with a cure for THIS?!!!

    BOXER: my Mom was a nurse so we were taught at a young age to never touch anything in a hospital... I pull my shirt over my fingers just to push the elevator button.
    Another really germy thing? The bottom of our purses. Think where we put those?


    Mistress MJ avoids hospitals at all costs.

    There are SICK people in there!!!

    As for my handbag, I NEVER place it on the floor!

    SCARLET: ***shudders after reading the first two comments and bathes self with wet wipes***
    To be honest, I dread to think what is lurking on my keyboard...


    Your keyboard has more germs lurking on it than a TOILET!

    AYEM8Y: @Boxer - What about eating the rogue Certs candy and Chiclet gum that swam around in loose face powder in the bottom of my Mom's purse?
    I never get sick. I'm probably immune from wearing germy thrift clothes and eating filthy purse dwelling candies.
    *Heads out to the mall knowing I wear an armor of anti-bacterial flesh.*


    We all know you’ll put ANYTHING in your mouth.

    NATIONS: Oh lordy, m*ty!!! just the thought of all that geeeegh next to your gorgeous hine makes me frantic!!!You've got antique old man butthole crumbs on you! and dried stoma lube! and pickled armpit! and waxy old ancient egyptian weenis clams!!! Seriously, dude, never never do that again! SAVE THE 8!
    *dashes off to bathe in isopropyl and steel wool on Ayem8ty's behalf*
    I think the germiest place in any store is about child level on all the shelves. Toys'r'us? Fuggeddaboudit. The second? any restroom which has just been used by a (sorry about the stereotype but I swear it holds true) elderly Middle European lady-even one that grew up here. They turn 60 and suddenly whammo, they do not care what they do where or stick their hands in or on. I think they take out their dentures and lick everything too, just like in 'Pink Flamingoes.' You're talking to a lifelong asthmatic who makes a lot of trips up and down the i-5 corridor. I KNOW this, kids. Use those free cowboy hats. Liberally. *dons hazmat suit*


    I thought you were talking about MY gorgeous hine but apparently it’s
    AyeM8y’s ass that concerns you.

    What surprised me in that story I linked to is this part…

    “Watch out for soap dispensers, too -- not only are they handled by many dirty hands, but the soap itself may harbor germs. When Gerba's team tested liquid soap from refillable dispensers in public bathrooms, they found that one in four contained unsafe levels of bacteria.”

    I always push the dispenser with my elbow but I had no idea the soap itself could be contaminated!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have a commercial steamer and I use it on everything! It's handy for strangers. Just wand them as they walk in the door.

    Of note...be careful of soda dispensers in convenience stores and restaurants. The clerks use dirty rags and buckets of germs to clean the nozzles. Same for the ones used in bars!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AYEM8Y: I have a commercial steamer and I use it on everything! It's handy for strangers. Just wand them as they walk in the door.
    Of note...be careful of soda dispensers in convenience stores and restaurants. The clerks use dirty rags and buckets of germs to clean the nozzles. Same for the ones used in bars!


    I had no idea!

    I am also wary of clowns bearing seltzer dispensers.

    And what about those squirting flowers they wear in their lapels?

    Oh, and how about the supermarkets that spray a fine mist onto the fruit and veg?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't carry a handbag, so I can't carry the disinfectants around, but all my years of playing soccer (football, whatever) sure have paid off when it comes to flushing public toilets. You know they hang men's pissing pots up high on the wall so we can just whip our junk out and let fly without squatting down, right? And the handles on those wall-mounted toilets are usually on the top. Well, all my years of bicycle kicks and spectacular roundhouse shots on goal have come in handy as I am one of the few men who can get his foot that high and stomp that shiny silver handle to flush. Yep.

    ReplyDelete
  11. EPIC FAIL: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Here’s something you might enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now, I feel ill.

    *puts latex gloves on shopping list*

    ReplyDelete
  13. ROSES: Now, I feel ill.
    *puts latex gloves on shopping list*


    Three states in the U.S. have banned the use of latex gloves for food preparation in restaurants.

    Apparently, particles of latex can cause allergic reactions not only among people wearing the gloves but also among customers eating food prepared by them.

    You can always make water balloons out of them, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The germiest part of your body is the underside of your hand. Think of all things thing and surfaces it comes into.

    ReplyDelete
  15. COOKIE: The germiest part of your body is the underside of your hand. Think of all things thing and surfaces it comes into.

    In the case of male Infomaniac Bitches, we KNOW what surfaces it CUMS into!

    ReplyDelete
  16. the sickest I've ever been has been due to FOOD poisoning, not germ poisoning, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't wanna brag but in more than 28 years, I got only 2 cases of the flu, a few head colds and that's about it. Never been to the doctor since the age 17 and that was for a general examination for the school.

    Everybody critisize my 76 y.o. Mom for not getting her flu shot every year but she never gets the flu. Her older sister gets her flu shots and always catches all kinds of diseases every winter!

    I think we're getting a little bit too paranoid with all this... but that's only my opinion. This said, I won't put on some gloves to shake your hand and a mask to give you a big kiss on both cheeks, my dear Mistress... unless you ask me to!

    Hugs to y'all!
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lets not forget that bowl of pre-made bar garnishes, kids...or the bowl of bar munchies for that matter. How many scroungy hands have gone scrambling around in that thing? I don't care if it ends up sozzled in alcohol; its still GROSS.
    Also: any upholstered item, and the underside of any table, appliance or countertop in a motel room...in fact, never stay in motels. They're sinkholes of phlegm, pecker tracks and Jurrasic cooze stains.

    ReplyDelete
  19. ...paranoid? Not NEARLY PARANOID ENOUGH.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lysol may cure symptoms.
    But a Lysol flamethrower solves problems.
    Just youtube it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You may flush the toilet with your foot, but do you then walk into and all over your home with your shoes on?
    All shoes left in the garage here at Hell.

    ReplyDelete
  22. THOMBEAU: I use condoms for everything.

    Makes a good water vessel if there’s a hole in your bucket.

    LX: Door handles in toilets!

    Use a tissue to open them!

    BOXER: the sickest I've ever been has been due to FOOD poisoning, not germ poisoning, btw.

    Me too.

    And all I wanted to do was get out of the hospital so I wouldn’t catch any diseases.

    DEEP BLUE JON: I don't wanna brag but in more than 28 years, I got only 2 cases of the flu, a few head colds and that's about it. Never been to the doctor since the age 17 and that was for a general examination for the school.
    Everybody critisize my 76 y.o. Mom for not getting her flu shot every year but she never gets the flu. Her older sister gets her flu shots and always catches all kinds of diseases every winter!
    I think we're getting a little bit too paranoid with all this... but that's only my opinion. This said, I won't put on some gloves to shake your hand and a mask to give you a big kiss on both cheeks, my dear Mistress... unless you ask me to!
    Hugs to y'all!
    Jon


    I bet you’ve had Jumping Frenchmen Disease!

    NATIONS: Lets not forget that bowl of pre-made bar garnishes, kids...or the bowl of bar munchies for that matter. How many scroungy hands have gone scrambling around in that thing? I don't care if it ends up sozzled in alcohol; its still GROSS.
    Also: any upholstered item, and the underside of any table, appliance or countertop in a motel room...in fact, never stay in motels. They're sinkholes of phlegm, pecker tracks and Jurrasic cooze stains.


    Motels…that’s a whole other post for another day.

    If you must stay in a motel, take a portable black light with you to check for invisible contamination such as vomit, feces, semen, blood, saliva and urine.

    NATIONS: ...paranoid? Not NEARLY PARANOID ENOUGH.

    I’m never stepping outside my door again!

    MAGO: Lysol may cure symptoms.
    But a Lysol flamethrower solves problems.
    Just youtube it.


    Don’t try this at home!

    BLAZNG SCARLET: You may flush the toilet with your foot, but do you then walk into and all over your home with your shoes on?
    All shoes left in the garage here at Hell.


    No shoes allowed chez Infomaniac either.

    I find it’s best to try and avoid having people over, period.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Holy Andromeda Strain Batman!!

    It's all true, this world is nasty and ubergross. Sure we lug around several pounds of "good" bacteria but hell is other people who never wash their hands or even have showers and still walk around in public shedding germs like Pigpen....oh I gotta put my head between my knees for a minute..

    Oh sure when we're kids we need to play in the dirt to build up immunities but the one of these days a strain will unlock our code and BAM it'll race across the planet in a few days.

    Believe it or not I even went to a theatre to watch contagion..and I wasn't wearing kleenex boxes for slippers or peeing in jars!

    Nations isn't helping with all the too-much-informtion aboot those filthy humans...oh gawd I'd wear a HAZMAT suit out-of-doors if I could but I purposely try to ignore the fact that the surface of every inch of this god forsaken place is crawling with AAaarrrgghhh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. DONN: Stay healthy so you don’t have to visit the doctor or go into the hospital where, listen up…

    “Germs that reside on doctors' lab coats, nurses' uniforms and hospital bed curtains are known to contribute to an unacceptably high rate of hospital-acquired infections. And that's just for starters. It turns out that papers passed around hospital offices, labs and patient rooms are potent transmitters of germs too.”

    Don't touch the magazines in the doctor's waiting room either!

    ReplyDelete
  25. When anyone coughs/sneezes on the street without using a hanky, I hold my breath and change direction. I never hold on to the escalator railings, though I do like to give my shoes a bit of a buff using the bristles.

    ReplyDelete
  26. MITZI: When anyone coughs/sneezes on the street without using a hanky, I hold my breath and change direction. I never hold on to the escalator railings, though I do like to give my shoes a bit of a buff using the bristles.

    I duck and cover!

    ReplyDelete
  27. AAAAAAAAAH-TCHAAAAAH!


    Sorry...

    *runs out of Infomanic Lounge*

    ReplyDelete
  28. DEEP BLUE JON: AAAAAAAAAH-TCHAAAAAH!
    Sorry...
    *runs out of Infomanic Lounge*


    *fumigates*

    ReplyDelete
  29. OK, that soccer goal toilet is genius! I know what I'm asking for for Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  30. EPIC FAIL: OK, that soccer goal toilet is genius! I know what I'm asking for for Christmas!

    You’ll have to ask Santa…see new post dated Friday, December 2nd!

    ReplyDelete