Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Ten Sex Mistakes You’ll Always Regret

[via]

Name at least ONE of yours, Bitches.

40 comments:

  1. YAY First!

    Is this cover by Cookie?

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  2. No, Mago, this is not one of Mr. Cookie’s Periodically Anachronistic covers but he has a new Thanksgiving issue over there.

    Oh Hai, Michael!

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  3. OH so many to list = but not realising one had to use a condom AND lube when getting fucked for the first time made for a painful mistake NEVER again repeated....

    Young and stupid.

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  4. OUCH!

    We learn from others' mistakes, Damien!

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  5. I always manage to fall in love with the straight guy. Embarrassing Mistakes... Does anyone know where I can get my Gaydar serviced???

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  6. Mistress MJ's superpower is Gaydar.

    Take me along on your next date!

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  7. Thank you Mistress... In the words of Dolly "I will always love you"....

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  8. OMG, Princess!

    That's one of Mistress MJ's top three saddest songs in the world!

    But only when performed by Dolly, not Whitney.

    *weeps into pillow*

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  9. Dolly beats that crack head any day darling.
    Now... You just have yourself a good cry and let it all out...

    *cues Roy Orbison on infomaniac juke box*

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  10. Snap!
    *tears welling*
    Pass the box of tissues please Mistress...

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  11. Take it from me darling... Straight boys will do that to you... *blows nose*

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  12. So that's what Dolly sings when the pinball tilts... or titls, according to Wally!

    I'm happy to learn I'm not the only compulsive sobber on Infomaniac!

    *sobs*

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  13. *passes tissues to Jon*
    there there Darling it will be alright....

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  14. Could sobbing be considered one of the top 10 sex mistakes?

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  15. Oh dear, fuck the tissues, pass the vodker!

    One of my mistakes was assuming that because the boy was an incredibly good looking hunk of New Zealand Maori mixed with Asian and so very pretty and muscle-y that he would be strong and good in bed. Total Starfish. Yawn. Almost fell asleep....so DON'T assume!

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  16. Mistake two: Falling in love with gay men in my youth.....but they loved the attention, didn't they? Ah yes, I was so popular at the gay bar until 2 am and then poor Diva would go home alone....I wised up pretty quick!

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  17. La Diva should write a book entitled, "Dating Debacles!"

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  18. There's this good old friend of mine who told me once about this time when he expelled a huge, loud, big fart while hard pounding his mate, which sucked all the oxygen from the room, leaving us... I mean THEM... leaving them almost unconscious on the bed... or was it on the backseat of the car...

    maybe it was on the sling, I can't remember...

    Of course, this has NEVER happened to me cause...

    I'm flawless in the department of sex...

    ...

    Hugs
    Jon

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  19. And then there's the QUEEF.

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  20. I never kiss and tell... well not without payment.
    Sx

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  21. *dangles packet of HobNobs in front of Miss Scarlet*

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  22. since it seems to be de rigueur here, i'll cry over all the sex i didn't have.

    there were a couple of days in 1980 and one in '83 that i did absolutely NOTHING!

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  23. *Counts notches on bed post, tallies, tallies, tallies, divides by number of one night stands, multiplies by number of satisfied customers, carries the one...NOPE...no regrets*

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  24. Regrets? I've had a few.
    But then again, too few to mention.

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  25. What do I regret? Not getting fucked more often by Wayne Patterson back in 1983. I also regret not getting more Andre Moreau.

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  26. Being such a goodie goodie in HS and college that I didn't learn to do stuff with overeager boys/men who would have accepted practically anything! When I finally let loose I had a steep learning curve LOL. I was a good student though, a holdover from my above mentioned goodie goodie phase.

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  27. I've never heard any complaints; then again I consume my partner afterwards too.

    Mistake? Doing the 'reverse cowgirl' thing and getting bucked off headfirst into a mirror when the guy came...and breaking the mirror. Then we had to sneak out of the place and book ass. This is what our vacations are like, pretty much.

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  28. Polite sex!

    It's even worse than bad sex.

    And I did it 3 times. I am such a fucking optimist.

    Never, ever again.

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  29. Sex mistakes: zero.

    Love mistakes: too many!

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  30. NORMADESMOND: since it seems to be de rigueur here, i'll cry over all the sex i didn't have.
    there were a couple of days in 1980 and one in '83 that i did absolutely NOTHING!


    1983?

    See my comment to Cookie.

    AYEM8Y: *Counts notches on bed post, tallies, tallies, tallies, divides by number of one night stands, multiplies by number of satisfied customers, carries the one...NOPE...no regrets*

    You must have splinters by now from all those bed post notches.

    VON LX: Regrets? I've had a few.
    But then again, too few to mention.


    You ate it up and spit it out?

    COOKIE: What do I regret? Not getting fucked more often by Wayne Patterson back in 1983. I also regret not getting more Andre Moreau.

    1983?

    I think that Wayne was two-timing you with Norma.

    KELLY RED: Being such a goodie goodie in HS and college that I didn't learn to do stuff with overeager boys/men who would have accepted practically anything! When I finally let loose I had a steep learning curve LOL. I was a good student though, a holdover from my above mentioned goodie goodie phase.

    You missed the smorgasbord but I’m sure you had your choice of the dessert cart.

    NATIONS: I've never heard any complaints; then again I consume my partner afterwards too.
    Mistake? Doing the 'reverse cowgirl' thing and getting bucked off headfirst into a mirror when the guy came...and breaking the mirror. Then we had to sneak out of the place and book ass. This is what our vacations are like, pretty much.


    *cranks up Kitty Wells on the Victrola*

    ROSES: Polite sex!
    It's even worse than bad sex.
    And I did it 3 times. I am such a fucking optimist.
    Never, ever again.


    Polite sex?

    I wasn’t aware of such a thing.

    THOMBEAU: Sex mistakes: zero.
    Love mistakes: too many!


    Who wrote the book of love, dammit?

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  31. I tend to arrive late....

    Kinda like on this post!

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  32. Oh, polite sex, definitely the worst. "This is not working, but I can't be rude and tell him, so I'll just stick it out. Maybe I'll make a grocery list while I wait."

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  33. Do you shake hands after sex?

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  34. And by "arrive", of course I mean "come"....
    Sounds nice in theory, til you have to say: "Darlin' it just ain't gonna happen."

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  35. I'm with Damion OZ, I had no idea that you had to lube your ass. What the hell is up with that anyways? Every other hole on my body has some kind of natural lube!

    Never had polite sex or boring sex. If they aren't doing it right or well, I show them or just do it myself. I'm willing to teach, but I have no patience for the clueless when I need a good romp.


    Hai Jon, Princess, MJ!

    p.s. Too funny Jon. I almost choked on my drink!

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  36. My biggest regret is Mattress Man

    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/healthy-strokes/

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  37. WALLY: And by "arrive", of course I mean "come"....
    Sounds nice in theory, til you have to say: "Darlin' it just ain't gonna happen."


    Cum again?

    COREYJO: I'm with Damion OZ, I had no idea that you had to lube your ass. What the hell is up with that anyways? Every other hole on my body has some kind of natural lube!
    Never had polite sex or boring sex. If they aren't doing it right or well, I show them or just do it myself. I'm willing to teach, but I have no patience for the clueless when I need a good romp.
    Hai Jon, Princess, MJ!
    p.s. Too funny Jon. I almost choked on my drink!


    Are you sure that was a beverage you were choking on?

    NURSEMYRA: My biggest regret is Mattress Man
    https://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2010/09/19/healthy-strokes/


    I anxiously await your posts on Bathroom Boy and Stocking Sam.

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