Sunday, November 06, 2011

THE GAYEST THING IN YOUR HOUSE CONTEST!


GAY OVERLOAD!!!

Infomaniac Bitches have flung open their closet doors to reveal the gayest thing(s) in their house!

And we want all our readers to vote for THE GAYEST THING!
Deadline for voting: Tuesday, November 8th at 7 pm EST.

Note: Many of these photos can be enlarged by clicking.

Let’s start with two long-time lurkers, TOPHER from Naples, Florida and TWUNTY MCSLORE from Cleveland Heights, Ohio.

TOPHER
Artist, Rene Gruau, most famous for his fashion drawings for Dior, Givenchy and others during the 50's.....this is at the top of the staircase leading to the front door - reminds me to be FABULOUS all day.

TWUNTY MCSLORE
It was hard for me to narrow it down to just ONE thing, but here it is. I've known Lady Bunny for more than 20 years, that old heifer, and yet I still pick hers as my favorite doll. I'm loyal that way.


Thank you, new Bitches! And now let’s see what's on offer from our motley crew of regulars.

NURSEMYRA
The gayest thing in my house…is my son.


STACIA
A movie still with the fabulous Franklin Pangborn. This is part of my Marie Prevost collection -- she's the peroxide piranha hidden under all that gold lamé -- but Franklin steals the scene with nothing more than a hanky and a grin.


MICHAEL GUY
Marilyn typically stays in the closet; Mary resides over my kitchen atop the refrigerator. Actually they make a nice couple and it wouldn't hurt if I prayed to both of them.


NORMADESMOND
I suppose this is kind of gay. My laundry room is adorned with an enlarged copy of Divine's obit (this is from the Boston Globe, always loved their choice of photo)...

a smattering of Joan Crawford lobby cards...

and a Holly Woodlawn poster, purchased 10,000 summers ago in Provincetown...

Now that i write it down, i see just how gay it is.


MITZI
Debbie, my delightful miniature hippo that changes colour with the weather. She turned pink today, which means it's a bit nippy outside. Created by acclaimed sculptor Regina Qwertyuiop and cast in the finest quality melamine, it's one of her best and most detailed pieces to date. I won Debbie at the prize bingo in Blackpool several years ago, I was given a token to redeem in the bingo hall's shop and there she was, gathering dust on the "One win" shelf, she was calling out to me telepathically "choose me... choose me!"


MR. PEENEE
The gayest thing in my personal, very gay home is my combination linen closet/Barbie doll sex club.


MS. FIRST NATIONS
Everyone wants a tiny ridiculous dog in a gay pink sweater. You know you do. I know I did. It doesn't get much more tiny or ridiculous than Miss Cujo; a ridiculous and tiny mix of dachshund, beagle, chihuahua and pug. If the Canadians ever decide to attack, and their front line consists of small Guatamalan women pushing strollers, Miss Cujo will sound the alarm...repeatedly. Any time of the day or night. Or because there were some crows in the back yard that might have been Canadian, or the guy down the block opened his garage door AND HUNDREDS OF CANADIAN SHOCK TROOPS STORMED OUT or wait, no. But they might have.
Rest easy, America.

THOMBEAU
I should really do an entire post about it, as there is so much gayness contained in this game that a couple of pics don't do it all justice. Gay Monopoly came out in 1983 (courtesy of "Parker Sisters") and is a veritable time capsule of queer culture from that era. The tokens include a blow dryer, a high-heeled shoe, and handcuffs. I seem to recall that at some point Parker Bros., makers of the original Monopoly game, were not amused and put out a cease and desist order. I received this for Xmas last year, it's in pristine condition and has probably never been used. Unlike me, you, and the readers of your blog!


COOKIE
You know, when I was eight or nine - 1970/1 or so, it wasn't OK for boys to play with dolls but my mother finally gave in and bought me a Ken Doll provided that I hid it from everyone. Since I was mostly alone because I had no interest in being around football or baseball or anything else like that, playing with "Ken" was no issue. But then one of our family friends gave me their son's entire G.I. Joe (the old kind) and it had a mechanical Jeep and all the military clothes. I also ended up with a BIG JIM Sports Camper, which was exactly like Barbie's camper but made for Mattel's "Big Jim" doll.

So for years I would play with Ken and G.I. Joe, as they were the same scale. G.I. Joe would go out in the jeep and kill dinner and Ken would stay back at the camper and make the beds and get the fire going, etc.

One day I came home and found that my father had had enough and threw it all away.

It's was so hard being a kid whose parents were ashamed of you. It's even harder to hear people who say that this is how you want to be, when it is so impossible to be anything but who you are.

There is the part of me that still twinges with real pain because we came just a bit too late to be young enough to imagine that we could be parents. I mean back in the late seventies and early 1980s that was a remarkable thing for gay person to want enough to climb those barriers. I would have loved having a child that I could embrace and provided the type of parenting that would have allowed them to grow up to become what their essence directed them towards. It would have been nice to be able to pass on a sense of perspective, and hope that when they became parents they too would do the right thing.

So instead of buying my son or daughter a Ken doll, or giving them this one - mint in the box, I just keep this one tucked away. Maybe one day he'll be worth something. The irony is that is what my parents probably thought of me.
(above) Cookie's Earring Magic Ken aka Cock Ring Ken


PRINCESS
I have finally recovered from spinning around and around (oh goodness, I'm sounding like Petra) for long enough to snap a quick shot of something gay or pretty close to being the gayest things at "The Palais" (Well apart from myself of course.) And I'm not talking about the rather provocative sexual organs of those "Flagrant Hussies" the orchids displaying themselves wantonly in the background. No I'm referring to my Rainbow Ribbon wind catcher dangalooey thingamies. They hang with gay abandon throughout the Palais and its surrounds. I used to make them to sell at local markets or give them away to friends and family. Now I just keep a few hanging around for their subtle indication and old time’s sake.


COREYJO...
I've searched, and searched. The closets, the cupboards, boxes and bags. This is, to me the 'gayest' thing in my house. Upon returning from his last over seas cruise, while in the U.S. Navy, Sailor Sam brought with him this fan. I instantly took a disliking to it. I tried to explain to him "it's the same one you see in all the Chinese restaurants across the U.S." Of course he told me I was wrong. What did I know? I had no penis therefore I am automatically wrong in his mind. Realizing how much he loved this fan I agreed to hang it on the wall of our then apartment in hopes that when we returned home to Michigan it would end up out in his garage and not back on my living room wall. Turns out we bought a house with no garage, and still don't have one. So for the last 11 1/2 years I've had to stare at this fan. Other than our house, and a Chinese restaurant, I have only seen fans of this style gracing the walls of a few of my gay friends. So to me, this is the 'Gayest' thing in my house.
p.s. I don't dislike it because it's 'gay', I dislike it because it's UGLY.


RILEY
Barbara Streisand in my liquor cabinet. She's a little "tipsy."


JON (DEEP BLUE)
I'm sorry to inform you that I couldn't find anything gay in my house, I swear. Don't have feather boas, don't have one single Dalida record, don't have a pair of Nana Mouskouri glasses, no fake autographed picture of Barbara... Nothing Liberace, nothing Dorothy, nothing Minnelli. I just cannot convince people I'm gay!

I go to bars and clubs and even spas, and nobody pays attention to me.
Once, I climbed on a table and I screamed to the entire crowd: "Hey guys! I'm gay! Please, do me!"
And they all laughed at me.
Even my own parents laughed when I came out to them...
"Yeah, yeah, you're gay! And I'm the president of the USA!"

Oh well... the only gay thing I can offer you, my dear mistress, as a token of my affection, is my rather flat, bony, leather-clad derrière. Of course this is absoLOOOtely no match for the gorgeous gayish thingies all the bitches are going to drop in your in-box. But I offer this to you from the bottom of my *cough* heart.

I know you would have preferred a picture of my naked bony ass, butt I wouldn't want to be responsible of yet another chain reaction of thudding on Infomaniac.
I'M PRUD!... er... I meant... I'M PROUD!
(Now if only those pants had a back fly...)
Note from Mistress MJ: Jon's arse joins our Gallery of Alluring Arses.

MAGO
The two pictures attached show what is decorating the tiny part of my wall in the living room that is not behind bookshelves. The lady is made from a kind of clay, you see her in situ. I think the piece is produced sometimes in the late 1950s or early 1960s. It was in the household of my parents.

The colourful running thingy is a present from a friend, he got it from a museum of modern art in Germany. I think it's influenced by Niki de St.Phalle, but have no idea who made this. It is made from metal and has a small magnet that keeps it in position.


AYEM8Y (aka MEAN DIRTY PIRATE)
Hmm, THE GAYEST THING IN MY HOUSE?
That's a tough one as I am so gay and I have one of those really gaily decorated houses that the old queens back in the day used to have. I keep up the trend as an homage to those that are no longer with us. Just looking around my boudoir I snapped a few of the more gay items in the room. I thought I would take a close-up of my Asian lady chalkware lamps since everyone mentions how gay they are. I think they are nice and rather campy...


Hmm, what else, OH, my Judy 45's?...

My cock ring?...

My Art Nouveau silver vase of peacock feathers sitting on my round mirror dressing vanity?...
How about the fact that I have a round mirror dressing vanity?


There you have it, Bitches! The gayest things in your houses!

Thanks to everyone who submitted.

NOW VOTE FOR THE GAYEST THING!!!

Deadline for voting: Tuesday, November 8th at 7 pm EST.

38 comments:

  1. YAY First...

    Mmmmm that's a tough one. I can't seem to choose between Nursemyra and Thombeau...

    Can I play Gay Monopoly with Nursemyra's son????

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  2. Oh, please, this is too easy;

    anything that involves Barbara Streisand. My vote?

    RILEY.

    P.S. I have a round mirror too.

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  3. It is all so GAY!
    I'll have to get really drunk & ponder....

    I shall return to vote.

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  4. I am gnawing my own flesh in envy.

    GNAWING I TELL YOU!!!!!

    I give. White flag. No choice possible.
    Could I maybe come visit some of you and lick your belongings a little bit, though?

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  5. Hmmm.. Looking at the Sailor's fan next to all this gayness, I guess it's not gay, just Ugly. Oh well, I tried.

    As much as I love Jon's gay Ass, I must vote for Thombeau and his Gay Monopoly, with Riley following close behind in second place with Barbara.

    Jon, your ass will always be #1 in my book, but it by far is Not the gayest thing here today. Maybe I need to see it sans the leather...just sayin! ;) Congrats on making the 'Gallery of Alluring Arses'.

    ~CoreyJo

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  6. There is far too much gayness on display here, and as we all know, too much is never enough! With that in mind, my vote goes to NurseMyra and her adoreable son.

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  7. I'm giving it up for Topher. Not only is the poster glamastic, but you can see his reflection in it and he's wearing no pants.

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  8. I vote for Mr Pee Nee's linen cupboard. and I would KILL for Thombeau's Gay Monopoly.

    Cookie, your story broke my heart. I realised my son was probably gay when he was only three so I had a long time to get used to the idea. His stepfather didn't adapt to it so readily, it caused a lot of friction in our house which made me all the more determined to support J when he did come out at 17. Have you ever seen the film Ma Vie En Rose? Nothing to do with Edith Piaf, it's a wonderful story about a little French boy who loves pink and wants to marry another little boy.I think you'd really like it.

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  9. NurseMyra & Cool Cookie:
    Ma Vie En Rose is a fantastic film and everyone should see it!

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  10. The task of choosing one gay something from my own home was (evidently) difficult enough, but having to choose the gayest thing entered above is near impossible!

    Normadesmond gets my vote for a laundry going a little bit too far. What could be more gayer than going too far? Are those a smattering of wire hangers I see mocking Joan?

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  11. Choices, choices.

    I love Princess' rainbow danglies and as for the Gay Monopoly, well darling that's just gorgeous.

    And Cookie, I just want to give you a huge hug.

    But it's got to be Mr Peenee. I just love the Barbie S&M Club in the linen cupboard. Awesomely gay!

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  12. What an excellent post! I'm grateful I was disqualified... so far I am rather taken by Thombeau's Monopoly... is there also gay Cluedo?
    I will come back later to cast my final vote.
    Sx

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  13. What a delightful, mouthwatering smorgasbord of all things poofy.

    Prepared lovingly by such a diverse gaggle of Queens and Fruit Fly's... (The term "Fag Hag" is so vulgar) and presented so lusciously by Mistress MJ our gracious hostess.

    I covet every single one of your entries Bitches...

    And yes...I'll admit it.... I want to vote for everyone... (Even CoreyJo's "ugly fan" (and that's not a euphamism ;-))... it would be the perfect compliment for a similar one I have hanging on the Palais wall)...

    But the one that got my attention the most was...

    MR peenee's S&M closet complete with towels... How thoughtful!

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  14. They are all fabulous!

    1st: Thombeau's Gay Monopoly

    Runner Up: Pirate's dressing table ensemble.

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  15. *licks pencil nib and begins calculating*

    Carry on, Bitches.

    Remember...you have until Tuesday night to cast your vote.

    SO much fabulosity.

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  16. I'm overwhelmed by all this fabulousness!

    My vote has to go to Normadesmond because I love that photo of Divine too. Also, Joan Crawford lobby cards. It's the most glorious laundry room I've ever seen.

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  17. It's a toss up between Norma, Riley and Peenee. A Joan Crawford collage with wire hangers (but then there is that obit of Divine, I would have preferred a picture of Phillip Terry). or Mr. Peennee's closeted sex chamber for dolls (but then there is Barbie and that made my Ken dolls pretned dick go limp.)

    And then there is Riley's Barbara.

    Now if you all could get together and do a tableau (which is close to a Thombeau) if the males dolls having sex in linen closet while Barbara is working the joint with a Joan Crawford film in the background, then, that would be nirvana.

    The only thing better would be if the Barbara was a Bette Midler doll.

    Decisions, decisions.

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  18. OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm going for the Bette Midler doll! But I can't see it. Where is it. WHERE IS IT????

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  19. All the dolls! Love Barbra the best, but nothing beats Gayopoly.

    Shuffling off to eBay..

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  20. At first I thought Topher ... because seeing his near naked reflection of all with w/black socks was just far too perfectly gay.
    But then, I started scrolling through and OMG!
    You bitches have a shit-ton of gayness! lol
    But my vote finally goes to Riley.

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  21. Mr Penee (who's blog is divine) or Thombeau (who's blog is also divine).....so hard to choose: I feel like Sophie!

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  22. After considerable thought and reflection & Beer, one vicodin and a couple hits of grass. I decided to judge as if I have never seen any of your gaping, grasping vaginas before; and what would the effect be upon my sensibilities, witnessing your "nasty talents" before I ever saw any one of those dripping pussies before....

    Sure! We all love a Ken doll, I hallucinate it daily, I think we all need a little man (or mens, in the case of mrpeenee). Very Gay.
    Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay!

    Runner Up:
    Babbs in the liquor cabinet? I see her everytime I open the fridge....
    SO GAY...

    However.
    Showing up at some obscure address and the door opens, and you go in with the three guys that are busy drinking gin & tonics, and listening to the grooviest music you've ever heard, then they ask you if you want to play Gayoopoly?
    (gay-oop-a-lee).

    Something rings in my heads and says: "THIS IS GAY!"

    Therefore, I cast my vote for Thom & his Gay ooop aly board game.....

    Someone's gonna get some GAY.

    ...and Bingo was his name-O

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  23. 1. the gayest thing in nurse myra's house IS her son. and i've never even been in her house!

    2. michael guy may have gotten it wrong. it could be the things behind mary & monroe that are far gayer than the pinky icons.

    3. peenee, that closet is a revelation EXCEPT for the fact that barbie is in there. now, if there had been two girls, it would've been a slam dunk, but one girl has me nervous. i've already lost my boner.

    4. thom's gay "man"opoly is too wonderful. but how could anyone play? they'd all be busy screaming over those playing pieces!

    5. cookie, ken's cock ring...have you used it?

    6. riley, i am so loving your bar. that is fucking way gay. but why didn't they put her in her oscar night see-thru outfit?

    7. mago, i ADORE that black lady..so grace jones!

    8. mr.pirate, i think i'd already told you how marvelously gay that lamp is. the corset shade only heightens the effect. i too have a chalk lady lamp, but mine's younger. yours must be the dowager queen.

    vote? VOTE? i don't know if i can... i may go mad!

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  24. So many gay boys with their gay Barbie's!

    Norma, I have the "Mildred Pierce" lobby card.

    So much fabulously gay things lurking in peoples homes and Peenee's linen closet.

    I think I'm going to have to vote for Thom's Gay Monopoly.

    Can't get much gayer than a product with Gay in the name.

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  25. I thank those of you who voted for my entry but I never thought Barbra-In-My-Liquor-Cabinet was THAT gay. It's probably just the way I posed her...

    But now I'm looking, afraid it's gayer around here than I thought.

    But what's gay? I'm in so deep I've lost all perspective. Perhaps a photo contest for the Straightest-Thing-In-Yer-House is called for? MJ?

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  26. *trips over Norma's limp dick*

    Riley, are you a mind reader?

    That is exactly what I have in mind for our next contest!

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  27. ...gotta go with 'Gay Monopoly'. Lotsa fab-small container makes it the Campbells' soup concentrate of gay objet!

    I've come back here five times since it's been posted just to lick the screen and seethe with envy. I LOOOOOVE y'alls stuff so much I could just pee myself. In fact I just did, a little.

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  28. BITCHES: A REMINDER THAT THIS CONTEST CLOSES TONIGHT!

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  29. I vote for the gay doll sex closet. The pink sheets put it over the top. And if I could vote most horrid, I'd vote for CoreyJo's butt ugy fan! Good gravy, can't you accidentally break it? Get sexy crazy with your man on the couch and punch a high heel through it or something. Of course then he'd probably still insist on keeping it and he'd point out the hole to all his buddies and snicker.

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  30. The rather obvious winner here (despite ALL the fabulously gay inventory showcased) is Mr. Peenee.

    Bitches, have you all MISSED the 'Tiffany Blue' paint job INSIDE the linen closet? Now THAT defines uber gay and I'm wondering if he'd sublet the space...

    Oh, and Normadesmond...don't make me beat you with my Judith Leiber clutch!

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  31. THIS CONTEST IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED, BITCHES!

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  32. Oops... then I'll stick with my original monopoly choice.
    Sx

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