Sunday, March 15, 2009

Infomaniac Answering Service

Mistress MJ spent a relaxing Saturday at The Infomaniac House of Beauty having her bottom buffed and sanded to smooth perfection.

She asked not to be disturbed and left Miss Scarlet in charge of the Infomaniac Answering Service…



As you can see, Miss Scarlet was swamped with calls and simply could not keep up. The phones were ringing off the hook!

As Mistress MJ is available for the better part of the day, she will now respond to your queries.

What exactly is it you were calling about?

29 comments:

  1. Sanded? Sounds a little ... hurtful?

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  2. MAGO: Why don't you rub your cheek against it and find out for yourself?

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  3. BITCHES: Mistress MJ will be back in the morning to answer your queries.

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  4. I had called to let you know you had won $1,000,000 . As no one answered the phone,we moved on to someone else who could answer the skill testing question correctly.

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  5. I need to get that done to my bottom. How many inches will it remove?;)

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  6. Can you hear me now?

    Can you hear me now?

    Can you hear me now?

    Can you hear me now?

    *click*

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  7. Mistress MJ, my question: "What are you wearing?"


    Oh Hai Ponita!

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  8. If you don't mind the stubble ... don't go away - please hold the line - PLE..*tröööt* ... BUgger.

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  9. Oh Hai XL!

    Oh Hai Mago!

    She said she would be here for the rest of the day to take our calls and then buggers off 9 minutes later.

    What happened? Was is something I said? I had a shower after visiting the barn... *sniffs armpit*... I don't smell bad anymore.

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  10. Did you have your muff buffed?

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  11. Ain't Scarls adorable..*sigh

    I'm going to do about 500 pushups so that my voice is deep & LOW like Barry White.

    Then I'm going to call her up and give her the old Joey Tribiani How YOU doin'? and listen to her giggle.

    I think that she'll like it better if it's deep and LOW
    what do you think?

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  12. i get sanded now and then too .. but usually involves gritty sandwiches and a bucket and spade.

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  13. Did it rid you of your liverspots?

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  14. Can we have a whip round for Miss Scarlet? Then she can buy a proper dress.

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  15. UBERMOUTH: I had called to let you know you had won $1,000,000 . As no one answered the phone,we moved on to someone else who could answer the skill testing question correctly.

    Pocket change.


    JANIE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    How did you find your way here from smack-dab in the middle of the Oilpatch of West Texas?


    PONITA: Get OFF the phone.


    XL: Mistress MJ, my question: "What are you wearing?"

    That will be revealed in a future post and you’ll be participating too.

    I’ve said enough for now.


    MAGO: If you don't mind the stubble ... don't go away - please hold the line - PLE..*tröööt* ... BUgger.

    Tröööt?

    Is that the sound of a Franconian telephone?

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  16. PONITA: She said she would be here for the rest of the day to take our calls and then buggers off 9 minutes later.

    Mistress MJ is in great demand and cannot be all things to all people.


    KAPI: Did you have your muff buffed?

    And stuffed!


    DONN: Ain't Scarls adorable..*sigh
    I'm going to do about 500 pushups so that my voice is deep & LOW like Barry White.
    Then I'm going to call her up and give her the old Joey Tribiani How YOU doin'? and listen to her giggle.
    I think that she'll like it better if it's deep and LOW
    what do you think?


    I think you’d make more of an impression if you show her your vasectomy scar.

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  17. CARNALIS: i get sanded now and then too .. but usually involves gritty sandwiches and a bucket and spade.

    Sounds like another one of your 9 1/2 Weeks-style food sessions.


    CYBERPOOF: Did it rid you of your liverspots?

    You are confusing my arse with Piggy’s arse.


    KAZ: Can we have a whip round for Miss Scarlet? Then she can buy a proper dress.

    That’s a little something she picked up at the seaside in Lyme Regis.


    SCARLET: Oh...!!! Goodness me!

    You did your best and we thank you.

    Here. Have a cocktail. You’ve earned it.

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  18. In Franconia we have good lungs and open windows. It's the Royal Bavarian Postal and Telephon Service's horn signal: The semaphore is ready!

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  19. Oh, thank you, can I have a hanky-panky coctail please?
    Sx

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  20. Miss MJ can you explain the difference between Hot Homo Sex and Painting and Decorating (With diagrams ) Miss Uber seems to be a bit confused

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  21. MAGO: In Franconia we have good lungs and open windows. It's the Royal Bavarian Postal and Telephon Service's horn signal: The semaphore is ready!

    I think what Mago is trying to say is that he is full of the horn.


    SCARLET: Oh, thank you, can I have a hanky-panky coctail please?

    Yes but first you need to retype the cock in cocktail.


    BEAST: Miss MJ can you explain the difference between Hot Homo Sex and Painting and Decorating (With diagrams )

    Isn’t that question best answered by one of our homosexualists?

    One should be along any minute now.

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  22. I do get man -on-man. The decorating is just the foreplay.:)

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  23. I called to let you know I am a highly intelligent fungus...

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  24. Hey, skank!

    My blog is back on blogger.

    *gives her the finger*

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  25. I was just calling to see if the house boys made it back after I borrowed them.

    My bad.

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  26. UBERMOUTH: I do get man -on-man. The decorating is just the foreplay.:)

    Beastie’s under his stinky duvet and can’t hear you.


    MUTLEY: I called to let you know I am a highly intelligent fungus...

    It’s good to know there are clever fungus amungus.


    MAIDY: Hey, skank!
    My blog is back on blogger.
    *gives her the finger*


    This marks the end of civilization as we know it.

    I’ll pop over at my earliest convenience.

    It is not convenient at the moment.


    BOXER: I was just calling to see if the house boys made it back after I borrowed them.

    My bad.


    It’s not enough that you’re after Old K’s cap.

    Now you want my houseboys too.

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  27. I wish they still made telephones of such quality.

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  28. RICH: You can still buy them at flea markets and eBay but you'll pay a fortune.

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