Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Shopping

As you can see, the houseboys have taken Mistress MJ Christmas shopping…

Unfortunately, she’s misplaced her shopping list.

So remind us again what pressies you want?


  1. Fammy wearing only a bow.... and not frozen solid either... so please keep him warmly dressed until I can unwrap him myself on Christmas morning.

    And for you, MJ, a whole bunch of pure Manitoba Sunshine to brighten your day!

  2. Just something small and extremely expensive
    Messrs Gucci and Prada rarely offend
    Oh and three buckets of chinese dysentry...nothing says Christmas like Chinese Dysentry

  3. at this point i just want the horrid season over without any more crap

  4. A pair of those stripey trousers - so come on - pick the shortest houseboy and rip em off.

  5. A beer, a back rub, a kiss on the cheek, and for the door to be closed quietly after I fall asleep. Wrap that up why don't you.

  6. I want to borrow AU$750,000.

  7. whirled peas

    merry christmas, sugarpie! xoxo

  8. I want...

    A pair of D & G loafers
    The High School Musical DAnce game for the Wii
    My ex boyfriend back
    And eight white silver rimmed dinner plates

  9. I want 2 consecutive weeks of good weather to use whenever I want.

    And West Ham to win at home.

  10. GINRO: A photo of your bum.

    Here’s a pic of my heaving bosom instead.

    If you squint, it looks like my bottom.

    PONITA: Fammy wearing only a bow

    Where, might I ask, is the bow tied?

    BEAST: three buckets of chinese dysentery

    You can’t even handle the MANFLU!

    DAISY: at this point i just want the horrid season over without any more crap

    I find it helps to drink progressively more and more throughout the season, culminating in one big booze-up on Christmas Day.

    When you wake up, it’s over!

    That’s the magic of Christmas.

  11. KAZ: A pair of those stripey trousers - so come on - pick the shortest houseboy and rip em off.

    CyberPoof got to him first, saying something about needing a good rimming.

    You know how the Danes are.

    CSI: a kiss on the cheek

    I am not kissing your cheek but you can kiss MINE!

    *bends over*

    XL: One of your cats has logged into your Blogger account again.

    SAVANNAH: whirled peas

    How about a tin of baked beans?

  12. SCARLET: A hangover cure.

    Think of Beast’s banana botty.

    That’ll sober you up.

    CYBERPOOF: A rimming from your ex boyfriend, did you say?

    DAISY: i vant a viscount!

    What happened to the Baron I left you last Christmas?

    GEOFF: I want 2 consecutive weeks of good weather to use whenever I want. And West Ham to win at home.

    Sing along…

    Fairy tales can come true
    It can happen to you
    If you’re young at heart

  13. I'd like to view MJ's private copy of
    "Men Of Infomaniac: Bitches Gone Wild!"

    I've heard about the 'Frobi's novelty shower attachment' scene, where they fire Ginro and IDV off the balcony like bottle rockets...and the famous 'Human Lasagne'scene where Ginro and Manuel argue about who gets to be an olive and the big marinara fight ensues (with subsequent hot hot hot 'Italian Sausage extra spicy reconciliation')....yes, thats what I want Santa to bring me for Christmas!!

  14. NATIONS: Damn damn and triple damn you for giving away the plot scenes.

    I’m still working on editing the Frobisher/Hardhouse/Kapitano three-way. I call it “LADZ WITH NADZ.”

    The setting: Under Beast’s stinky duvet in a council flat, somewhere in Bournemouth.

    Legs akimbo, tight bulging underpants, a ripe buncha bananas…you get the picture.

    Then they go to Canada where they’re attacked by bears!

  15. TROLL: I'll see if one of the houseboys is willing to moonlight.

  16. I want Tim.

    Wrapped in Ginch Gonch Big Bang pants, please.

  17. mj...the baron was a bit stuffy...i am going straight for the biscuits this year!!!!!!!

  18. ****flashes Daisy his custard creams ****

  19. All I want for Christmas is Bollix's email address.

  20. anything but more chihuahuas, please.

  21. Alyson Hannigan shaved, lubed and assuming the position.

  22. I'd like to be put in suspended animation for the next five years. That way, either:

    (a) I'll wake up in five years when the recession's over, GW Bush is forgotten, Microsoft is bankrupt and a diet plan will have been invented which actually works.

    (b) Civilisation will collapse, making the five years really five centuries, so I'll be Buck Rogers - saving the world and having lots of really camp adventures.

  23. oh still my heart...

  24. IVD: Isn’t SP enough for you?

    Is there trouble in Smug Marrieds Land?

    DAISY & BEAST: *pulls stinky duvet over the pair of you*

    *imagines having to Hoover out all the crumbs later*

    DAI: Does he owe you money, too?

    MAXI: Shaved?

    Well, nobody likes ginger pubes.

    BOXER: You know how it is with those illegal immigrants.

    One crosses the border and the rest follow.

    KAPI: I have lots of cramp adventures.

    You’re in my new film, “LADZ WITH NADZ”…I’ll arrange for camp segments.

    DAISY: Don’t encourage him.

  25. I'd like to get lost. And guess I will make it

  26. knuddy

    with whipped cream


  27. MAGO: You and Chet Baker.

    CARNALIS: Before or after his rash clears up?

  28. I'm very happy with that actually, lol. Yes, very happy. Very very happy. Very very very happy.
    Although I was a little concerned when I first saw it to see you had a bag over your head. "What on earth is she doing that for? Does she have such low self-esteem? Pourquoi???", I thought to myself. Until I read the accompanying piece anyway.

    So, what you would like from me for Christmas?

  29. p.s.

    So that's what you're wearing in your profile pic. Always wondered why you had those shorts on.

  30. I mashed the bananas. I feel better now. I made a nice face mask but now I'd like a cucumber.
    ...For my eyes....

  31. A harem.

    Jump to it or I'll set my djinns on you.

  32. I want a stick of rock.

    With "Cunt" lettering.

  33. GINRO: Because my top looks much the same as my bottom, I’ve had to get a tattoo that says, “This end up.”

    You too can win The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, by the way.

    That is if CyberPoof in Denmark ever gets around to holding the next compo.

    BEAST: Look below, now you’ve gone and summoned him.

    SCARLET: Would a gherkin suffice instead of a cuke?

    I believe Beast has a miniature pickle.

    GARFY: Isn’t it enough that you have a Latina chamber maid at your beck and call?

    PIGGY: I want a stick of rock. With "Cunt" lettering.

    Is there any other kind?

  34. Chet' ... He was beautiful. What a terrible shadow of this young man he became. Baker singing and "Kind of blue". Some new Swedish women-voices are in this league. I deeply hate H and what it did to a lot of talented young humans.

    The masses are shopping their brains out in the innercities. Many will celebrate the birth of the saviour with a fistfight and a broken skull. Time to cave in.

    P.s. Where exactly did you get that tattoo?

  35. a g.i.joe action figure with kung fu grip...

  36. World Peace...NO..
    a piece of the world

  37. *snork* don wants a big piece!

    too bad! this Muk is married!

    *moose antlers, raspberries*

  38. Nations, I love how you snork!! That is too funny!!!

    MJ, I am sure you can guess where Fammy's bow needs to go... he does have a handle, after all. ;-)

    I think Beast and Daisy are starting to give Fammy and me a run for our money.

    Perhaps the secret porno flick could feature them as well??? We will share the limelight (but not each other...)

  39. BITCHES: I'm busy wrapping your presents and can't be yakking with you all day.

  40. U never sleep, do you?

  41. MAGO, sweetie, I sleep 3-4 hours a night, if I'm lucky.

  42. Seriously Lady, you can "get along with it"? Sleep deprivation is a means of torture. Or is it simply your nature?

  43. Mago - her sleep deprivation is OUR turture.