Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Office Party

Welcome to Infomaniac’s First Annual Christmas Office Party!




It’s early but this party is already SWINGIN’!...




Obviously, the colour theme for this party was inspired by IVD.

By now you’ve worked up an appetite so let’s make our way over to the nibblies table.

Once again, I regret leaving IVD in charge of décor. It seems ORANGE is the colour du jour!...


RANDOM CHICK's radioactive cheese casserole



More orange food as XL brought Cheetos




CARNALIS baked a CAKE. Don’t click the cake link. Oops, too late.

We ask that you exercise caution in eating the following dishes:

GARFER’s pork scratchings…


Made with contaminated Irish pork.

And stay away from BEAST’s offering… “Ma Beastie’s Chickpea Curry.” It’s ALWAYS a risk!



WHAT ARE THE OFFICE FASHIONISTAS WEARING?


OLD KNUDSEN makes a grand entrance in his rubberized codpiece…






CYBERPOOF, when you said you’d be wearing orange shoes, this is NOT what we were expecting…


Head cropped to prevent humiliation



CyberPoof told KAZ she should leave the Doc Martens at home and try a pair of stilettos. It all went so horribly wrong...





WW showed up in his Perry Como slippers and penguin pyjamas as he has a bad case of the dreaded MANFLU!...







PLENTY OF FUN AND GAMES!

Anyone want in on the card game with MISS SCARLET AND DAISY?...





Who doesn’t love a game of Naked Twister?...






WHERE’S THE PRESSIES?

EROSWINGS has something for everybody!...


And everybody wants to find Eroswings under their tree.



XL says, “Unwrap MY package first, ladies!”…





Time spent waiting by the hearth in the lobby for Saint Nick to deliver really paid off for HARDHOUSE!...






SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!

DJ BETTY starts us off with a little Val Doonican





Well done, Betty. Looks like your choice of tunes has caused that wallflower GINRO to loosen up and get down with the boss’s daughter…






RANDOM CHICK is taking requests…





HARDHOUSE finally works up the courage to ask KAPITANO


“May I have this dance?”



TONY gives an impromptu “Wellies Dancing” lesson…





Does anyone want to play with BEAST’s tiny organ?...






WHO’S ZOOMIN’ WHO?

DONN’s “date” Monica Bellucci has him where she wants him…



Looks like somebody’s feeling spunky after their operation, eh Donald?




SUDDENLY THE PARTY TAKES A NASTY TURN!

Uh oh. Somebody’s had too much to drink…


Poor BEAST. Won’t someone throw his stinky duvet over him to protect his modesty?



MAGO steals Post-it Notes from the stationery cupboard and is punished by Mistress MJ





HEFF gives the boss the finger…






PONITA mistakes the washing machine for a Jacuzzi…






INNER VOICES mistakes a potted plant for a toilet…


I think Ponita may have hung some mistletoe on this.



ANONYMOUS BOXER and LEAH are slugging it out over Old Knudsen





The plantar’s punch really did deliver a punch to SAVANNAH


Punch drunk



MANUEL arrives late to the party without time to change out of his waiter’s uniform. Already in a state of exhaustion, he hurriedly gulps down a triple Irish whiskey and promptly passes out…


You’ve seen Manuel’s arse…now see his navel!


1) Manuel’s navel
2) Manuel’s arse (who hasn’t seen it?)
3) Manuel’s bowtie cutting off his circulation



AND JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT COULDN’T GET ANY WORSE…


Infomaniac is saddened to report that GEOFF has been taken to hospital after an incident in the photocopying room…




No new posting ‘til Saturday so KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT, BITCHES!

144 comments:

  1. Ho! Ho! Ho!

    I'm joining Scarlet and Daisy for a rousing round of poker!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's one tiny jacuzzi you've got here, MJ. But the bubbles are nice.

    Turn on the agitator, will ya?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think XL will be joining Savannah soon...

    ReplyDelete
  4. *stashes case of beer and a handle of whiskey in the back room and plans to return later*

    ReplyDelete
  5. ***races in from the Ring, grabs a beer and runs back***

    Heels are hard to box in, but I'm getting the hang of it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't wear orange shoes and especially not CROCS!

    Pox on the Crocs!

    At least Kaz is wearing knickers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll have you know I always win at cards Mr Eros... and I always play dirty... come join us...
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  8. As Pete noticed (though I'm surprised that he bothered to look) - at least I kept my knickers on - which is more than can be said for Geoff!
    No pudding for him this Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  9. i love playing cards!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hardhouse and I cannot take your call at the moment.

    If you are Knudsen wanting your codpiece back, it should come back out within the day. Please be patient.

    If you are Tony wanting your wellies back, they are ready. Please come and get them as soon as possible.

    If you are MJ wanting us back...we're quite sure we'll be recovered in time for...The New Year Party!

    Bwa ha ha!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why oh Why do I ALWAYS end up nekkid on a grand piano

    ReplyDelete
  12. I start in a menage tois (top middle or bottome?) and end up with Kapitano...

    Woo Hoo this party rocks!

    **grabs some orange nibbles**

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey, where's my pants?

    [vows to never play Strip Curling with Mistress MJ again]

    ReplyDelete
  14. That does actually look like a fat version of me from a distance with squinting eyes.

    I once entered a party by doing a backward roll. Nobody spoke to me after that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. XL: fLurrsttt

    The party’s just begun and you’re slurring your speech already!

    EROS: Strangely, your poker face is the same as your O face!

    PONITA: Get your arse over to Famulus’s place and invite him to join you.

    VOICES: *stashes case of beer and a handle of whiskey in the back room and plans to return later*

    I can only imagine the state you’ll be in when you return.

    Please note the path leading to the mens washroom has been clearly marked.

    MAGO: I don’t want to hear a peep out of you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. BOXER: Of course you can box in heels. Just remember…

    [About Fred Astaire] "Sure he was great, but don't forget Ginger Rogers did everything he did backwards . . . and in high heels!"

    CYBERPOOF: You KNOW I hate Crocs.

    I’ll make you wear this t-shirt.

    GINRO: See? INTJ’s can have fun too!

    SCARLET: And now the chips are down.

    ReplyDelete
  17. KAZ: at least I kept my knickers on

    There’s a first time for everything!

    DAISY: i love playing cards!!!!!!!!

    And it shows!

    KAPI: New Year Party?

    It’ll take me ‘til New Year’s Eve to clean up after you bitches.

    How about holding the party at your place for a change?

    BEAST: Why oh Why do I ALWAYS end up nekkid on a grand piano?

    Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that accident you had at the last party when you were playing the piano?

    ReplyDelete
  18. HARDHOUSE: I start in a menage trois (top middle or bottom?)

    You have to ask?

    And don’t give me any nonsense about topping from the bottom.

    DAISY: *tickles the ivories* :)

    You’ll be blowing the horn next.

    XL: [vows to never play Strip Curling with Mistress MJ again]

    But it’s a Canadian tradition!

    You’re lucky we weren’t playing ice hockey or you’d have been on the receiving end of my slap shot!

    GINRO: You’re one wild and crazy guy.

    GEOFF: That does actually look like a fat version of me from a distance with squinting eyes.

    I told you to lay off the Cheetos.

    I once entered a party by doing a backward roll. Nobody spoke to me after that.

    I would have hired you based solely on your ability to entertain.

    Your talents are wasted at your present company.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm pissed. I have lost my knickers. Someone has stolen the bananas and now I'm going to blow on a horn with Daisy.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Only a private party at Kapitanos...

    One of us being a power bottom!

    *pissed!*

    - why I am I wearing a cod piece?

    ReplyDelete
  21. MJ, I have tried to tell Famulus he's missing the best party, but he's so busy hunting for a new flat.

    Not sure if mention of your little jacuzzi will work, but he does like bubbles!

    ReplyDelete
  22. SCARLET: I have lost my knickers.

    I’m sure KAZ’s knickers will be down around her knees in no time.

    You can make a grab for them and voila!...problem solved.

    HARDHOUSE: Why I am I wearing a cod piece?

    To restrain your massive trouser trout.

    PONITA: Famulus is too busy flat-hunting to attend our party?

    Obviously his priorities are misplaced.

    If he likes bubbles so much, I can fart in his bathtub.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Old Knudsen looks absolutely smokin' hot...but I don't think I can take Boxer in a fight...

    Just pass the Cheetos please. I'm going to dip them in my Nutella.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'll have you know that I'm not wearing
    Crocs. See my post. I've put a lot of effort into this only to be ridiculed by you.

    What were you doing in the jacuzzi? Something brown is floating next to you.

    Eww

    ReplyDelete
  25. LEAH: I bet Old Knudsen would like to dip into your "Nutella".

    CYBERPOOF: When IVD shows up, he's gonna rip that wig off your head.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hello everyone. Sorry I'm late. Find me an alcopop and the Jacuzzi and I'm partying!

    I can do orange things. It's the national colour where I come from. Orange wigs, t-shirts, boxers...(Shorts, not people, not that we'd want another boxer here, this one is perfectly good. Mind you, I thought that they generally came in pairs?)

    Hey and unless you are an official concubine (or wish to apply) then your gonna have to keep your hands off the Famularse... (other bits available on request, first come, first servered...)

    ReplyDelete
  27. FEMMY: *hands Famulus an alcopoop*

    Your arse is a peachy shade of orange as I recall.

    Are you a ginger?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ginger? Not at last count. Nope, I'm in desperate need of a tan, but the hair is all just a yucky shade of dark brown.

    Hey, Ponita, good to see you again. I only recognise you in a Jucuzzi now... Erm, why is there an excited alligator in here with us?

    I hope that someone is keeping Beast away from the fruit bowl. It may be our First Christmas Party at MJs but I recognise the danger signs already...

    ReplyDelete
  29. *phew*

    *wipes brow*

    i am glad i bought extra large botty wipes with that big tub of chocolate buttercream.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Does anyone want any more radio active cheese casserole??? If not, I'm going to throw it into the toilet on IV's plants.

    *dances on top of grand piano stepping over Beast*

    ReplyDelete
  31. FEMMY: Try a self-tanner.

    You’ll turn a bright shade of orange and fit into the party scene.

    CARNALIS: If you run out of botty wipes, HARDHOUSE and KAPITANO brought along an industrial-sized vat of Cum-Kleen personal wipes .

    RANDOM: *dances on top of grand piano stepping over Beast*

    Another guest who forgot her knickers.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I've bin sick. annnd Illllluurve evrrryonee xxxxxxxx
    Sxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  33. *Ginro blushes furiously because a woman said something to him*

    ReplyDelete
  34. SCARLET: Way to go.

    You threw up on CyberPoof's shoes.

    Not that you can notice.

    GINRO: Let me guess...

    She said, "You're stepping on my foot."

    ReplyDelete
  35. Alligator??? I thought it was the agitator! Whatever works!

    Since I am the Head Concubine, does that mean I get Fammy's arse all to myself? (I'll take some of the other bits too, please.)

    *shoos MJ out of the jacuzzi, for her 'scented' bubbles are quite offensive...*

    All the bananas have disappeared from the fruit bowl...

    *peers suspiciously at Beast's arse*

    ReplyDelete
  36. *Ginro blushes even more furiously now because MJ, a woman, spoke to him again and expects him to reply. Can he control the inevitable stammering which will occur the minute he opens his mouth to answer her? he wonders*

    ReplyDelete
  37. i'll drink to that, sugar! xoxoxo

    (we're having a party here right now!)

    ReplyDelete
  38. PONITA: Mind that alligator doesn't bite the pair of you on the arse.

    *notes that BEAST has been oddly quiet so agrees with missing banana theory*

    GINRO: You're blushing the colour of the tomatoes in Random Chick's radioactive cheese casserole.

    SAVANNAH: What wouldn't you drink to?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Let's paaaaaRty! Yay!

    Woohooooooo ! Scarlet! Let's daqaance!

    ReplyDelete
  40. woo hoo!!! party!!!


    "we are going streaking, c'mon everybody!!! streaking to the quad"


    heh heh... offers mj a drink...

    ReplyDelete
  41. CYBERPOOF: Somebody get CyberPoof a sick bucket.

    He’ll be the next to hurl.

    I believe there’s one on BEAST’s bedside table.

    VOICES: I’m the designated driver.

    Someone has to keep you bitches in one piece.

    ReplyDelete
  42. After 3 hours lurking in the kitchen with the booze decides to emerge and talk to someone.
    Notice knickers on Scarlet's head.
    Gives up and returns to kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  43. ...am daancinq... so whooo was it thatt starteded sying the gingryword? Hmmmmmm? Whoooo?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  44. ...ivev got Kazzzez knicks on me ead.... whhy...?
    xsxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  45. KAZ & SCARLET: What the HELL?

    *suddenly remembers “busy work” that needs to be done and backs slowly out of room*

    ReplyDelete
  46. *beast and firstnations furiously tunnel their way beneath the foundations of party central. beast passes the cannister of medical anaesthesia forward, casually brushing away an errant spider. firstnations drills through the ductwork and attaches a clever timing device as beast secures a length of tubing to the cannister and then unscrews the tap. both miscreants slip away ninjalike and seat themselves in a car across the street where they wait. beast tries to find a channel on the radio and a fight ensues over the relative merits of madge vs. cradle of filth. a razor flashes in the night. a woman screams. the moon drips blood on the sleeping valley below.*

    ReplyDelete
  47. *firstnations acends the ladder in catlike silence. once on the roof she motions for beast to throw her a mysterious object, which in mid-flight unrolls to reveal itself a length of rope with an incendiary grenade attached to the end. first approached the chimney cautiously and peers inside, a grim smile curling her lips, and is immediately overcome by the column of surgical anaesthetic gas rising from the flue. she rolls off the roof and lands in the pachysandras while beast stands nearby vainly trying to contact her on his walkie talkie, the batteries lying at his feet glittering like cheap paste diamonds.*

    ReplyDelete
  48. *beast cautiously unrolls the brown paper bag,looking around at the shadows, and unfastens his pants. First peers into the window and gives him the 'all clear' signal. beast lowers his trousers and hunkers godlike, hine glistening like snow on the alps in the fitful light of the moon, and positions the paper bag carefully.time stops. somewhere a clock ticks loudly in a locked room. cold worms turn in their dark burrows. beast concentrates, imagining a steaming bowl of chickpea curry...sweat beading his brow....a lighter held ready, his finger poised to ring the doorbell.....*

    ReplyDelete
  49. VOICES: *waits with high heel poised to stick up the arse of anyone who syas a virgin daiquiri is the only thing virgin about me*

    NATIONS: Enough of your clever subterfuge!

    Your attempts to smuggle your dodgy three-bean salad into the party have been foiled!

    And who invited you and your gigantic bosoms to the party anyway?

    *notes that Nations is not on the guest list*

    ReplyDelete
  50. Funny stuff. Where do you find all the vintage porn?

    ReplyDelete
  51. *sees nations and beast entering mjs "back door"


    so this is the way to the real party eh?

    *follows the dubious duo into the "rear entrance"*


    did i say daiquiri? i meant zachary...

    ReplyDelete
  52. TROLL: Where do you find all the vintage porn?

    Easy! All the old stuff on here is acquired by standing a couple of our more senior members, i.e. FIRST NATIONS and OLD KNUDSEN, in front of a camera, pressing the shutter button, and adding a sepia tone later.

    VOICES: I don’t have that much room at my back door!

    Besides, you’re always trying to come through there.

    ReplyDelete
  53. First up, that isn't me in the picture. I'd wear bigger earrings.

    I haven't noticed anything going on because I'm DJ-ing. A great DJ takes the listener on a journey. Unfortunately, all of the partygoers journeyed off the dancefloor and most of them are presumably throwing up/shagging/sleeping while I'm WORKING. This is not what we agreed to.

    ... and I want paying ... and what happened to my bottle of absinthe?

    ReplyDelete
  54. BETTY: First up, that isn't me in the picture. I'd wear bigger earrings.

    Pat Butcher earrings?

    This is not what we agreed to.

    And we had an agreement that you would keep your husband Geoff under control.

    what happened to my bottle of absinthe?

    *looks at Geoff Xeroxing his arse*

    I think we know the answer to THAT one!

    p.s. Do you take Canadian dollars?

    Did you say you were going to play something by Journey?

    ReplyDelete
  55. mbl! mbpfm bhmmflbump. Hmpf!

    ReplyDelete
  56. *opens tank of nitrous so its free flowing in kitchen and calmly walks in to other room*

    ReplyDelete
  57. *Ginro decides to throw caution to the wind, and finds a quiet dark corner where no-one can see him doing the daddy dance*

    ReplyDelete
  58. MAGO: Your tongue appears to be stuck to my boot.

    VOICES: Hahahahahaha, heeheeheeheehee, hohohohoho!

    Stop! You’re killing me!

    GINRO: A quiet dark corner?

    I don’t believe a word.

    You’ve got the dancing fever now!

    You’re trying to form a conga line!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Yes I think someone made the mistake of giving me a shandy. It's gone straight to my head.

    Oooops! Scarlet is wandering towards me with a rather glazed look in her eyes, her blonde wig on askew, and muttering incoherently. I shall try to engage her in a discussion.

    ReplyDelete
  60. GINRO: That’s CyberPoof’s wig MISS SCARLET is wearing.

    Before you approach her, have some topics of conversation ready!

    And offer her a canapé.

    ReplyDelete
  61. That went down quite well I think. I decided to engage her in the various merits of Hagakure as opposed to Yojokun and she seemed quite interested, if swaying about, silence, and staring at me could be interpreted as such. And then she fell over.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Scccccccccchaaaaaarlett!

    Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa

    ReplyDelete
  63. GINRO: I’m surprised MISS SCARLET didn’t commit hara kiri.

    CYBERPOOF: *imagines CyberPoof howling “SCARLET!” in a Marlon Brando, Streetcar Named Desire, “STELLA!” fashion.*

    ReplyDelete
  64. CYBERPOOF: You were number 69.

    ReplyDelete
  65. can some one turn up the music!!!

    *wonders if all the voices he hears are his own imagination*

    ReplyDelete
  66. * sweeps into the room, laughs at 'Petra's putrid orange Crocs, shakes head at prone Beast on the grand, then makes a beeline for the suspiciously Eros-shaped package under the tree *

    Hey! This gift has been opened already! Hmmm... These playing cards strewn around might give me a clue as to whodunnit?

    ReplyDelete
  67. VOICES: BETTY has the King's Singers on an endless loop now.

    IVD: You’re fired as stylist!

    All this dreadful orange.

    I knew I shouldn’t have left you in charge of décor.

    Your wig’s on crooked, by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  68. *Runs out of the kitchen pale-faced and trying not to be sick*

    ReplyDelete
  69. No 69 - coincident?

    I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Sorry I missed the party. Was it any good?

    ReplyDelete
  71. GINRO: Oh for heaven’s sake.

    What’s happened NOW?

    CYBERPOOF: No 69 - coincident?

    Or could it be a COINCIDENCE?

    FROBI: You’re here now.

    Pull up a sick bucket.

    I’m going out to get more mixers.

    ReplyDelete
  72. A sight I never wish to speak of again. I'm going to be having flashbacks for years.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Hmmm, what's this whiskey I've found in the back room? Time to party.

    ReplyDelete
  74. ahem, ginro thats for mj, later on we will have her drunk and sloppy...

    feel free to have a coorslight though...

    ReplyDelete
  75. Drunk and sloppy? I'm not too bothered about the sloppy seconds but I'd rather she was sober.

    ReplyDelete
  76. VOICES & GINRO: Shut it, the pair of you.

    Or I'll turn around and leave again.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Yes dear. As you wish dear.

    I'm going to sit down and cuddle my shandy now.

    ReplyDelete
  78. *passes out from over-intoxication*

    ReplyDelete
  79. *pops another warm coors and smiles*

    ReplyDelete
  80. **stumbles in, looking for Old K - planning to take a big swig of courage and FINALLY go for .....

    The cap!***

    Where is that Old Man??????

    ReplyDelete
  81. GINRO: *passes out from over-intoxication*

    A cheap ploy to try to get me to give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

    VOICES: And what are YOU so smug about?

    BOXER: OLD KNUDSEN is preoccupied today with his itchy anus, caused by taxpayer government bail outs.

    ReplyDelete
  82. just waiting for you to turn around...



    soooo.... whats that behind you? a spider?

    ReplyDelete
  83. being nekkid on a grand piano is not all its cracked up to be , and why am i now wearing an awful pair of orange crocks and have Miss Scarlets knickers on my head???

    ReplyDelete
  84. Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

    *starts spraying cheese whiz in the air*

    I need more Vodka!

    *takes a huge swig out of the bottle...burp*

    Happy Easter!!!

    *tries to get up on piano but doesn't quite make it, lands on the floor in a heap*

    Happy Bar-mitzvah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. yeah....


    now that all the bitches have gone to bed its time to get this party rolling!!!


    *cranks up abbas greatest hits album and looks for his young dance partner*

    ReplyDelete
  86. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Morning ...woah, better watch my step here ... ABBA - gross! Is there cold beer anywhere?
    Shake it Voices!

    Hm, I know two blokes round here who specialized in clearing crime scenes, just fly them over.

    Come on Voices, let's schuplatteln!

    ReplyDelete
  88. Dammit! I nearly got away with that too!

    But in the few moments I had my eyes shut, why are my clothes all on back to front and someone has glued a wig to my head?

    ReplyDelete
  89. *shows the way to the cold beer cooler to mago and ginro*

    no need for crime scene clean up... just a a bunch of slackers who need some libations laying about. dont worry about funny wig or the permanent tattoos y'all are sporting now either...

    its all good...


    *cracks another cold one and slides back out onto the dance floor*

    ReplyDelete
  90. Probably, what dø I know.

    *throws putrid orange crocs at IDV and puts on fabulous D&G shoes before walking home in a huff*

    ReplyDelete
  91. *puts cold beer in cyber petes "back pocket" as he walks out the door, waits to see how long it takes to notice*

    ReplyDelete
  92. Damn! That's the umpteenth time I fell for that cake link!
    I need milk.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Fuck it I'm here, meet my date Lola thats L-o-l-a Lola for you mongs. I met her in a club doon at Ocean cove, you know the one.

    IVD is looking a bit queer is he alright?
    Speaking of which why is half the room in assless chaps? is that a poofs nightmare or what an ass less chap?

    I need drink a can of glue and some strong painkillers STAT!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Don't worry everyone I'm here too. I need some drink, lube and someone who can keep secrets.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I'm also here and I hate yous all, smell my egg and onion farts.

    ReplyDelete
  96. *Ginro sniffs the air and genuinely passes out this time*

    ReplyDelete
  97. *passes the knudered one a glass of beer in shape of mjs uterus*

    enjoy buddy....

    ReplyDelete
  98. wtf i pass out and wake up and you guys are still doing the same thing...*passes out again*

    ReplyDelete
  99. *helps daisy up and away form all the uteri shaped glasses full of who knows what*

    there there...

    mj will be here soon to take care of you...

    *calls cab for self and returns home*

    ReplyDelete
  100. thanks for the help inner voices...but where the fuck am i now?

    ReplyDelete
  101. ...Oh my head...
    Ah.. Beastie looks cute wearing my knickers and Pete's Crocs...

    Anyhow cheers MJ for a fab party. Is there no Filthy Friday today?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  102. *waiting for everyone else to pass out before making off with The Cap*

    ReplyDelete
  103. MJ: I demand a head count! There is someone else lucking beneath the surface in the Jacuzzi and they won't come up and I don't know who it is. I do know what they've been trying to do though and I don't know if I should have enjoyed it...

    Ponita: Where are you hands?

    Scarls: Where are your knickers? Oh, forget it, I can see Beast from here...

    Everyone: Anyone know where Knudsan is???? Please?

    ReplyDelete
  104. I think I had hold of Old Knudsen at one point--but he's a slippery one and I lost my grip--

    ReplyDelete
  105. *changes outfit and leaves before other people start picking on him*

    Bah crap day!

    ReplyDelete
  106. BITCHES: Did someone slip something into my drink?

    Mistress MJ has one hell of a headache this morning and requests that BETTY stop playing Dancing Queen.

    Why is BEAST dressed in CYBERPOOF’s orange Crocs with MISS SCARLET’S dirty knickers on his head?

    And why is GINRO wearing IVD’s wig?

    Are those cake crumbs on PRACTICALLY JOE’s bottom?

    Why is RANDOM CHICK beside me on the floor? Did she slip on this trail of Cheese Whiz that leads to my back door where INNER VOICES is standing suspiciously?

    *asks MAGO to stop slapping his thighs and doing a manic rendition of the schuplatter dance*

    And what’s that smell? Egg and onion? Is OLD KNUDSEN doing a fry-up in the kitchen?

    Why does LEAH have grease on her hands?

    Why is MISS SCARLET asking about Filthy Friday when it clearly says “No new posting ‘til Saturday?”

    Why is DAISY looking confused?

    And CARNALIS looking shifty?

    Why is CYBERPOOF in such a huff? *suddenly remembers that is his natural state*

    What the hell kind of hijinks are going on with FAMULUS and PONITA in the Jacuzzi?

    And where is my uterus?!!!

    ReplyDelete
  107. Time to check the kitchen and have something against that strange feeling of hangover ... Bortschtsch anybody? Depends on what is eadable here ...
    The first one who lights a cig will be killed.
    Some of those stains shouldn't be x-rayed - maybe they walk away.

    Soup will be ready in an hour. Survivours wash yerself, and put clothes ON before coming to the table, I do not want to be confronted with flabby cold meat now.
    Where's MJ? I'll have a Mueller-Thurgau now ... onions, pepper ...

    ReplyDelete
  108. *RIPS THROTTLE AS SHE BRANDISHES MJ'S UTERUS OVERHEAD AND SCREAMS HER PRIMAL VICTORY CRY*

    *executes righteous fricken' wheelie all the way down the street*

    *makes several passes back and forth in front of party central doing uterus-related stunts while hungover party guests blink and puke in the front yard*

    *crashes into parked car*

    ReplyDelete
  109. ***walks in**** steps over???**** not sure, but they're snoring****

    finds gloves, picks up a random wallet (thank you!) ***

    goes back to work.

    Thanks for the partee MJ! You are a hell of hostess.

    ReplyDelete
  110. NATIONS: Who do you think you are?

    Adrienne Barbeau in Cannonball Run?

    Take your humongous gazongas and head back south across the border.

    And put my uterus back where you found it!

    BOXER: Is there a condom dated 1912 in that wallet?

    If so, it belongs to OLD KNUDSEN.

    ReplyDelete
  111. [Finds missing ebelskiver pan in sink, encrusted with burnt poutine gravy.]

    If someone will clean this thing, I'll start making ebelskiver...

    ReplyDelete
  112. Fammy, Old Knudsen is cooking up a stink in the kitchen...

    My hands are scuba diving with your snorkel.....

    MJ, our Jacuzzi hijinks are none of your business.... we keeping it all under bubbles anyways.

    Gawd! Someone open the windows.... it sure is getting stinky in here. Between Beast's duvet, Knudsen's egg and onion creations, and XL's burnt poutine, it's a wonder anyone can breathe! Let alone all the puking and farting....

    Great party, MJ! Let's do it again next year!

    ReplyDelete
  113. XL: *tosses poutine-encrusted ebelskiver to houseboys*

    PONITA: Why do the bubbles smell funny?

    ReplyDelete
  114. MJ I need your tender ministrations, I'm not feeling too well. And whose are those knickers stuck to the ceiling? And why is the cushion that Knudsen was sitting on melting?

    ReplyDelete
  115. *pops open a magnum of champagne and begins filling glasses*


    yeah, lets turn the music back up and get ready for day two, bitches!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  116. GINRO: Will hair of the dog soothe you?

    Or are you trying to get a cuddle?

    VOICES: *covers ears as Voices sings "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)"*

    SCARLET: BEAST has attached googly eyes to your eyeglasses and is attempting to amuse the Twister lady.

    ReplyDelete
  117. ooooh, did someone say twister? i love tapioca twister!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  118. VOICES: Please refer to the buxom lady in the "Games" section of our party.

    Perhaps she is hiding tapioca under her bosom.

    ReplyDelete
  119. *has another glass of champagne*

    i love parties...


    *has urge to make some "copies"*

    ReplyDelete
  120. Wha? Where am I? Who are all you people? What is that monkey doing with the cheese whiz can? WTF?!

    ReplyDelete
  121. VOICES: Geoff hasn't coughed up the repair fees yet for the busted copier so don't get any ideas.

    RANDOM: Wha? Where am I? Who are all you people? What is that monkey doing with the cheese whiz can? WTF?!

    Questions I ask myself everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Hair of the dog? No thank you. I'm not too keen on cat hair (and no innuendo's [and innuendo's are not Italian suppositories] please), so I have no idea what dog hair would do to me.

    Come on MJ, open those arms wide.

    ReplyDelete
  123. What's Ginro doin' to that plant over there?
    Aww nevermind ...

    I'll have the Regent (2005, Thüngerheim) now. This Indian lady is a hell of a driver. Gazongas?

    ReplyDelete
  124. shifty???

    *puts on best 'innocent' expression*

    *licks fingers*

    ReplyDelete
  125. GINRO: As MAGO pointed out, that is a giant rubber plant, not my open arms.

    I hope you and the rubber plant will be very happy together.

    By the way, VOICES peed on it.

    MAGO: Gazongas = breasts. Titties. Boobies. Fun pillows.

    CARNALIS: Don’t lick your …. too late.

    That wasn’t chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Bugger. I really should wear my glasses more often. I'd wondered why you seemed a bit 'bendier' than I expected.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Ooops, sorry Carnalis. I thought I was tuning the radio in I swear.

    Where did I put those bloody glasses??? *Wanders off muttering*

    ReplyDelete
  128. Nice orgy. Last time I passed out on the floor someone yelled in my ears "Walker we need you!" but that may be a flashback.
    Did the caning already start? We should have the mice-organ now I guess. And where's the billiard? I'll help myself, thank you.

    *slips Louis Prima CD in and vanishes behind the sofa*

    ReplyDelete
  129. My god, are you approaching or have you even surpassed a personal record for comments?

    I have passed those pajamas down to my son, who apparently has no fashion sense or common sense.

    I'm disappointed with the length of the heels on your boots. I thought they'd be twice as high.

    ReplyDelete
  130. GINRO: Ooops, sorry Carnalis. I thought I was tuning the radio in I swear.

    Next thing you know, you’ll try to convince us that the bumps around her nipples read "suck here" in Braille.

    MAGO: Louis Prima…

    Because you’re just a gigolo.

    WW: I have passed those pajamas down to my son, who apparently has no fashion sense

    So it’s genetic.

    ReplyDelete
  131. mj are you saying that it isn't braille...thanks a lot for leaving me out of the loop on that little tid bit of information!

    ReplyDelete
  132. seems about right actually........damn it missed another party

    ReplyDelete