Monday, February 04, 2008

Everyone Out of the Gene Pool

I'm afraid I must crush your image of me as a beatific holy Madonna figure.

The gene pool stops here with me. I shan’t be reproducing.

Allow me to illustrate why I would suck as a mother…


  1. We all know that you wouldn't give alcohol to a baby.

    Not without a fight.

  2. Nope - I still don't get it! Like the ones on the right are supposed to be wrong eh?
    Perhaps if parents tried the drumstick XXX method they'd spend less time whining and whingeing.

  3. You'll end up paying for the shopping baby. Put it back in the frozen section.

    We've seen that Madonna somewhere. Can't remember where. Ghent?

  4. If having a baby makes one dress like 'Shopping With Baby' mum, i.e. One of Tazzy's tanktops and knickers with no trousers/skirt, all I can say is: Thank gods!

  5. MJ: You would have a fight on your hands with a bottle of Jamesons, try getting a teat and sticking it on a bottle of Jamesons ans see how you get on.

  6. You could always move to Whateverpeg where most of those 'Bad' instructions are not unusual.

    I never realised that Mary had those impossibly high, perky, implants like Posh!?

  7. CONNIE: It’s amazing what strength a baby has in its wee hands.

    KAZ: Popping a stick in my mouth always stops ME whingeing.

    MANUEL: Bwahahahaha?

    That’s the sound I make when I bury my face in the photo of your hairy sugarloaf.

    GEOFF: The baby was in the snacks section.

    I don’t believe it has any nutritional value.

    Ghent? Or KENT?

    IVD: Egad, you’re back!

    *hides plans to take over The Coven*

    If Britney can shop naked then so can I.

    TATAS: Is that how YOU handle motherhood?

    Go back to sniffing The Shorts.

    HE: The minus 30 C temperatures in WinterPeg would give me nipples that could cut glass.

    Although that would provide a job opp for me should I relocate there.

    Is a high school diploma a requirement in the glass cutting field?

  8. awwwwwwww. no ickle mj's are gonna run around?

    thank fuck

  9. Maidy: You can say that again.

    MJ: No that's not the way I handle them, I use the bottle to hit them with. LOL I love our kids. I wouldn't change a damn thing.

  10. MAIDY: Don't repeat yourself as Tatas suggests. Once was enough.

    TATAS: Your kids will be so happy when your husband is released from prison.

  11. Youve Made Me Feel All Broody.......

  12. TONY: Isn't Hebden Bridge crawling with lezzers?

    You'd make an excellent sperm donor.

  13. Yah, me too.

    I once asked my sister what was the point of dressing her children (babies at that point) if only to rechange them an hour because they spit up on themselves.

    It cut down on the babysitting requests, if nothing else.

  14. So thats why you only do it up the bum no babies, do gheys not want to get pregnant either?

  15. Glad there was no suggestion of breast feeding that just plays havoc with your tits.

    "No no no! You can't play with Mummies toys!"

  16. BOXER: All the hosing down that's required with children is too much work for me.

    It interferes with my cocktail time.

    KNUDSEN: Only filthy Taigs take it up the bum.

    ELLIE: *bets Ellie is a filthy Taig*

  17. Did someone say Jameson's?

    Sadly, I have been clucking over my friends' babies lately, but am sure I would do all manner of things like wake my own up with an airhorn just for laffs... no bebbies for me either.

  18. T-BIRD: Note that there's a bottle of Jamesons between my legs.

    You are welcome to sip.

    Did you ever see the childhood pic of your Coven leader, IVD, that I posted on my blog?

  19. Good post MJ. I'll have to bookmark it and pull it out whenever I feel my overies start to tingle.

  20. PRU: Just make sure that's ALL you pull out when you feel the urge.

  21. you know, that last one is wrong. jt was all cranky. a few shots of jameson's later, he's all nice and quiet.

  22. filthy Taig sounds like an award title to me.

  23. MAIDY: You probably lactate Jamesons.

    KNUDSEN: Who deserves the Filthiest Taig Award?

    That's what I want to know.

  24. Actually, I knew it was a bottle of something awesome, but I am always distracted by your strange canuck markings...

    Where can I find this picture of Proto-IDV?

  25. T-BIRD: How about if I do 2 postings tomorrow (Wednesday)?

    A regular posting and then a posting with the wee IVD pic under it?

  26. I really think some parents here in the US need these instructions.

    BTW the pic of my arse is on the way. :))