Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Return of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition

He’s teased and taunted us for months.

Remember when he tossed The Shorts into the cement mixer and tried to bury them in the back yard?…

And who can forget when he enticed us with a bit of scrawny KFC leg?…

Well FINALLY Inexplicable DeVice (known affectionately as IVD) is holding The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition!

It's on NOW! And you could be the next winner!

Submit your captions on IVD’s blog by midday Greenwich Mean Time on Sunday, September 23rd. And don't forget to read the rules he's posted.

Go! Now! Here to Inexplicable DeVice’s blog. See him pictured in The Shorts as never before!

Our clever wee witchy has even created a map to show where The Elf Shorts have journeyed so far …

(click to enlarge)

Are you new to Infomaniac and wondering what this is all about? Then check out The Definitive History of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

Note: Don’t be put off about entering the compo by all the captions that SID and I left. We’re both previous winners of The Shorts and tend to get a little swept up in the moment. Remember, YOU could be the next winner!

Go there. Now!


  1. Yay! First! Snap!

    Thank you, MJ (ooh, it feels funny saying something nice....).

  2. Them Pesky shorts..I want them!

  3. Oh miss - Do I have to?
    I'd rather stay here and wait for my hug.

  4. Oink! :@)

    I just felt like saying that.

  5. Ok heres my caption "wheres the major? I say he was just here choking chickens with Sammy."

    A map isn't a very good picture to caption to.

  6. Those captions aren't going to write themselves, people.

    Get over to IVD's and win those Shorts!

    Except for Knudsen. The Shorts have seen enough stainage without adding your incontinence problem into the mix.

  7. I did my duty for queen(s) and country

  8. Not really relevant to this post, but I did a huge poo earlier.

    Fucking massive it was.

    I was ever so proud.

  9. CYBERPOO: The Shorts have yet to go to Denmark so crank out some more captions and represent your country!

    PIGGY: Could you describe the shape of your poo according to the Bristol Stool Scale?

    And why hasn't Smunty done his book report yet on the Poo Book?

  10. And to answer your second question - because he's a lazy cunt.

  11. I don't want to win those freakin smelly shorts, and I've done two or three captions already

    And I'm way too scared that nobody will enter the competition if I ever won them..

    Oh you are a slag MJ (I haven't called you that in a while)

  12. "Oh you are a slag MJ"

    Oh CyberTwat knows you soooooooo well, dear!

    We like him even more now.

  13. I'm getting scared here, just how much do you like me Piggy?

    I adore you btw

  14. I'll just leave Piggy and CyberPoo alone in the room whilst I nip out.

    It seems there's off and on problems with the Internet connection in my neighbourhood so I may be back or not later.

  15. Oh!

    Is MJ's electric dildo sucking the juice out of the district grid again?

    As for CyberPete (wasn't that nice of us to refer to him by his chosen name?)... We like you. That is all you are required to know.

    And of course you adore us.

  16. Excuse me but I'm back in the room and I'll have you know I'm operating any special devices on batteries.

  17. At least my knickers aren't coated in battery acid like yours.

  18. But I don't wear knickers.

    IDV's the knicker wearer.

    I suspect the Danish Pastry does too - those Europeans are a bit funny like that.

    Fucking pervs.

  19. PIGGY: Do go on.

    What type of knickers do you suppose CyberCindy the Danish Pastry wears?

  20. Barbed wire knickers.

    Some kind of throwback to the '40s.

  21. PIGGY: Barbed wire knickers?

    It's all very POW.

    He's one the Nazis would have labeled as a person of "deviant behavior."

  22. They wouldn't have needed to label him. The feather boa and pink chiffon would have done a grand job of their own.

  23. I'm wearing a feather boa tomorrow to a function!

    I don't want to be mistaken for a Danish perv and have my cavity searched.

  24. I'm sure you do!

    Will there be enough security to complete the search before the evenings end?

  25. Aren't you worried the feather boa make you look like an ostrich?

  26. Ahem.

    We've veered off track here.

    Back to CyberCindy the Danish Pastry.

    How do you think he takes it when and if he actually gets real-life action?

  27. [stays off track for a moment]

    So have you considered you might just appear ostrich-like with that feather boa then?

    We can't stop laughing at the image!

    [back on track]

    Real life? Is that a joke? Everyone knows the Danes don't know what real life is.

    It's all just cyberspace, bacon sarnies, cake and 'Spunk'!

    ('Spunk' is Danish liquorice - salt flavoured, surprise, surprise).

  28. You fuckers. You've spoiled my party. I'm going to have to rethink my entire wardrobe.

    [back on track]

    Well, if CyberCindy WERE to have real-life sex, what do you think he'd get up to?

  29. *laughs*

    [back on track]

    I've no idea.

    It'd obviously be in a very, very dark room.

    *shudders at thought*

  30. Let's go prepare for tomorrow's special CyberCindy Day, shall we?

  31. [drifting again]

    So you've clearly now considered how the feather boa may make you appear then?

    Change of wardrobe. Wise choice. No need for a fashion faux pas - enough Canucks do that already.

    You clearly need more poofs around you to help you avoid such disasters in future.

    Even if it would've been entertaining and made great photoshopping opportunities

    Excuse us while we continue to laugh for a moment longer.

    *composes self*

    We're only trying to protect you and help you look your bestest.

    [stops drifting]

  32. Righty ho - off to bed for us two.

    We're up at 6am in the morning (it's already 1:30am).

    Toodle pip!

  33. Just put your HazMat suit on and take it like a man.