Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Stinky Scot Barred for Breaking Wind

Stewart Laidlaw was banned from his local for passing foul flatulence.

Regulars at Thirsty Kirsty’s in Dunfermline, Fife, were fed up with Laidlaw’s fetid farts.

Laidlaw blames the new smoking laws for his expulsion.

"No one could smell anything when the pub was full of cigarette smoke,” said Laidlaw.

Pub landlord John Thow countered with, "He revels in this and does it all the time and it's absolutely foul, it would make you sick. Since the smoking ban he's made a career out of this. He has been warned and asked politely to stop it on many occasions…. when he drops one he'll shout and wave his arms so everyone can smell it."

Laidlaw has been served “last odours.”

News item here.


  1. Yayyy I'm first! Take that to the gut ye old fart, pigster and knudsen!

    Now, flatulence? What's that? A lady never passes gas, she simply emits a flowerful odor. Didn'tcha know?

  2. Ladies, where?

    Is it me or is that bloke a dead ringer for Marty Feldman ( not Corey Feldman )????

  3. Fucking smell nazis, next it will be no swearing or sticking broken glasses into people's faces. I've farted 5 times since I've started to type this and # 4 was wet and I am proud of it.

  4. Don't you just love the Scottish!

  5. AWA: What flower would that be?

    The corpse flower?

    STEVE: Ladies? Surely not on THIS blog!

    His eyes are set too deep into his head to be MF but it could be his brother.

    KNUDSEN: You'll never get that stain out.

    FROBI: Especially the one above you. No, I didn't just say that! I mustn't give in the allure of Knudsen!

  6. MJ: In response to your comment dear.

  7. It looks like Laidlaw has smelt a particularly nasty one by his expression...

  8. You can take our fags and our farts but you'll never take our FFFFRRRRREEEEDDDOOOMMMMMMM!

  9. this is they type of person that farts into their hand and huffs it while he sits next to you in church. i like the part where he shouts and waves his arms to get everyones attention. I fawted! I fawted!

    something i personally never do.
    *eating refries, drinking beer, looking through the phone book for a church i haven't attended yet*

  10. farting fame ,you got ta love it.

  11. IVF: The Sun reports that Laidlaw was "basking in the glory of his smells" but that pic suggests otherwise.

    KNUDSEN:*kicks Knudsen's barstool out from beneath his wooden leg and laffs*

    See how far you get with your'freedom' now, you old goat.

    FN: I know about you and burritos.

    Don't even think about coming North.

  12. GEO: You snuck in.

    You're "silent but deadly."

  13. I believe that Robbie Burns would have written one of his odious poems about this - if he weren't dead.

  14. MUTLEY: Odious AND odorous.

  15. Mine smells of roses...sometimes onions...but you didn't hear that from me!

  16. What's the problem? Humourless bastards they are. Nothing, and I repeat nothing* is funnier than a real ripsnorting, eye watering fart. The sound and smell of air pushed through poo is universal, it transcends language barriers, funny in any language like Dick Emery or Benny Hill. Leave the lad alone, he's an entertainer. Poor bastard.

    *Nothing except parrots that can say "cunt" or monkeys throwing shit.

  17. AWA: Better to have onion farts than Eddie's brussel sprout farts.

    EDDIE: Nothing except British men in laydee's clothing.