Thursday, January 27, 2011

Foreign Swear Words

Thanks to Inexplicable DeVice (IVD), Mistress MJ now has in her possession The Little Book of Essential Foreign Swear Words which she won in IVD’s contest.

I have now mastered how to say “Die shitting” in Japanese…

Kuso shite shinezo!

“I’m having an orgasm!’ in Portugeuese…

Eu estou gozando!

And “suck my knob” in Italian…

Ciucciami il cazzo!

I’m not sure when the opportunity will come up to say “Your mother suckles pigs” in German…

Deine Mutter saugt Schweine!

But thanks to IVD, I’ll be ready for it!

What about you, bitches?

What are some of your favourite foreign swear words?


  1. i don't have any favorite foreign language swear words, sugar! all of mine are in english and i use them everywhere. xoxoxoxo

  2. Good afternoon MJ,

    Well now, there's a way to foster polite international relations.

  3. I am above swear words.

    Now stop being a cock and get me some champagne you slapper

  4. I'll have to remember that German curse for the next time I encounter my evile Stepmonster, aka Shark.

    Years ago (1986) when I took Romanian (simply so I could learn to conjugate the verb "to go" (Eu fac, tu face, etc.), the teacher one day spoke about "Ronald Reagan, a Great American Leader," while trilling her "R's" and pepering each word with exclaimation points. She then started in on Madam Ceacescu, and then uttered some words we hadn't learned and spat on the ground. When a student asked what she said, Professor said in her thick accent "I said that Mme. Ceacescu is so hated in Romania that people curse her by saying that she should have to lick the inner thighs of stray dogs for nurishment." Now that's raw.

    She would never teach us that curse, but it seems really extreme...

  5. I've had a few foreign friends tell me that their favorite thing about English are the curse words & I have to agree with them.
    I do enjoy using the French, "COCHON" though!

  6. An old Jewish curse - when a goy is feeding them BS - is "Nist geystroigen und nist gafoygen." Translated it means "No, Christ didn't hop up on that cross and he didn't fly to heaven."

    A more more direct yiddish curse is:

    "Gey kukken afen yam," which means "go shit in the ocean." Last person in the family to use that one was Aunt Nan when she sued the Shark for her money that Shark had made off with, illegal. Shark said "Marvin told me that you people were like this." And Aunt told her to shit in the ocean, in Yiddish. Shark - 0, Aunt Nan - SMACK DOWN!

  7. If I am really angry, I mean really, I use words of the dialect I grew up in. Nobody understands but everybody pisses off. Comes straight from the heart ...

  8. My grandmother, the most sincere Christian I have ever known, could nonetheless cut loose in German like a stone gangster. For all I knew she could have been reciting the ingredients in diet Coke, but delivered in a certain tone, combined with her precise staccato accent, whatever it was sounded downright horrifying. If you were throwing rotton apples at the dog and she started in, you QUIT throwing rotten apples at the dog right quick! And hid!

  9. speaking of shitting in the of the most evocative phrases I've ever heard was one my mom used only when in an absolute extremity of rage...Imagine it being delivered with a snarl in a broad Lower East Side accent, a Pall Mall dangling from her lower lip....

    "Yeah? Go shit a MEATAXE!"

    Mom and Donna Reed didn't have much in common, as you might have guessed.

  10. Did someone mention Donna Reed?

    LOVE her! I too love wearing inappropriate pumps and pearls

  11. I think the worst swear word I ever used was Flippin' 'eck.

    ... I'm fibbing I think I might have said Sarah Palin's name out loud once

  12. Yay! You got it!

    My favourite foreign swear word is 'shit'.
    I've said it in France, in Germany, in Switzerland, possibly in Italy and definitely in California!

  13. Metaxa is good for the skin ...

    "Deine Mutter saugt Schweine" is not entirely correct. If it shall mean: "Your mother is breastfeeding pigs!" the translation would be "Deine Mutter säugt Schweine".
    If it shall mean "Your mother sucks pigs" the translation would be "Deine Mutter lutscht Schweine!". Depends whether "saugen" or "lutschen" is ment to be understood transitive or intransitive, that is active or passive.

    Anyway, after such an insult most people here (cops too) will look in another direction if one punches the shit out of the asshole ...

  14. The phrase "You Foreign Cunt"...

    Works universally for me...

  15. as a tasteful and well-heeled individual kabuki prefers to take the high road. kabuki does not swear, instead preferring to use obscene hand gestures in case the foreigner is hard of hearing. it is going the extra little bit that shows how much kabuki cares. if only someone would compile a book of vile hand signals, what a perfect world it would be.

  16. Donna Reeds' favorite swear was 'douche canoe'. As in:
    One is a douche canoe, one owns a douche canoe, one paddles a douche canoe, one smells like a douche canoe, the pope is a douche canoe, the admiral is a douche canoe, don't rock the douche canoe...

  17. Obviously, The Mistress has distracted us, we should quick run to her private bath and seize the vicodin while we have the chance...

  18. I lived in England when I was 15 and will often say "bloody hell" just because I can.

    PS - Coco post is up and there's a special picture just for you!

  19. hey chochita, or more likely chochona

  20. and I love "don't rock the douche canoe"

  21. XL: Gesundheit!
    SAVANNAH: Téigh i dtigh diabhail!
    KARL: lay da yuen fay gay mm sai sou!
    CYBERPOOF: Klamme luderso!
    COOKIE: Zakkewasser!
    WALLY: Elif air ab tizak!
    MAGO: Chow fah hai!
    NATIONS: Gamiola!
    LULU: Ta mère était un hamster et et ton pere a l'odeur de baies de sureau!
    IVD: QI'yaH!
    KABUKI: Start with this.
    NORMADESMOND: Ookiosewada!
    DONNA REED: S'dgurgler
    BOXER: Woof!
    HAYWARD: Fila mou to kolo!

  22. I've heard of "suckling pig" but not in this context! sheesh!

    One time when living in 'Strayla, where the word cunt is often used as a term of affection, I told a Filipino lover I was breaking up with: "Fuck you, fuck your mama and fuck the nasty ass boat she came in on." That upset him a lot. I sometimes find the simple non-cuss words like "fool" and "idiot" and "stupid cow" to be cutting for some reason too.

  23. Oh dear, you said "foreign" swear words. Do regular swear words count as foreign if you say them in a foreign country?

  24. Here is the thing : "I'm coming " in Portuguese from Portugal (the motherland) is said " Vou-me vir!"
    the brasilian portuguese is in fact "estou gozando", which for the portuguese mean "I'm joking".
    In italian "suck my Knob" a.k.a. blow me, is commonly said "fame un POMPINO!"

    lost in translation...

  25. RUI BARROS: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    I recognize you as a visitor at Chateau Thombeau and The Hair Hall of Fame.

    Thank you for your contribution.

    I shall be shouting FAME UN POMPINO! for the rest of the day.