Fasten Your Seatbelts

I intend to make it to the bottom of the bottle tonight.







On January 1st I’ll be joining SID (pictured below) in his annual New Year’s Day tradition…




The Scaling of Mount Willy


My crampons are packed and I'm ready to go.

See you back here on Wednesday, January 2nd.

Happy New Year, bitches!

Snapshot Sunday

Salacious Saturday

What with Smunty’s birthday yesterday, I neglected to post Filthy Friday. So here in its place is Salacious Saturday…

Happy Birthday, Steve!

How did he go from cute baby (though not THE cutest baby)…


Voted “Poofiest Baby” by you. And for good reason.




..to the filthy, Twinkie-loving, circus-flea-encrusted, closet-poofter that he’s become today?…





[photo via Tazzy & Piggy]


ODE TO STEVE
He’s rather cunty
We call him Smunty
He’s taken a liking
To being a Viking
His cock is bent
It pays the rent


Happy Birthday, Smunty the Cabin Boy!

Book of the Week

The Hustitute

What Are You Doing Today?

Do you have the day off like the lucky fellas pictured above?

Like them, will you get outdoors and ride the Yule Log (aka Great Ashen Faggot) or stay home and laze about?

What are you doing today, bitches?

Merry Christmas, Bitches!

Pucker up ‘cause I’m wearing my mistletoe belt buckle.





One at a time! One at a time! Don’t rush at me like a pack of hounds. There’s plenty of MJ to go around for everyone.

Merry Christmas to all my fabulous bitches.

See you back here on December 26th.

Album Cover of the Week

What’s that on the plate?

Household Hints

With the help taking time off for the holidays, I’m forced to do the housework myself.

So I’m enlisting you bitches to submit your best household tips for cleaning a home from top to bottom.

For example, I heard that to clean the caulking around the bathtub, you should fill a spray bottle with Smirnoff Vodka, spray the caulking, wait five minutes, and wash the tub clean.

Well, you know where this story’s going. I got more Vodka in me than in the tub, therefore no more housework was accomplished for the rest of the day.

You can see I need some assistance here.

*considers serving copious amounts of alcohol to guests so they don’t notice the dust bunnies*

Shoppenboys

Want to buy clothes for your man but he won’t tag along to the shops with you?

Try a Shoppenboy!



Les Shoppenboys (they’re French) wander around the store in red boxer shorts until a customer asks them to try on an item of clothing.

Customers select the Shoppenboy who best fits their man’s body type and the Shoppenboy will model the clothes for size.

Here’s a video clip for those of you wishing to see a Shoppenboy shakin’ his stuff. Readers most likely to view the clip of Shoppenboy Laurent dancing in his knickers include IVD, CyberPete and Smunty the Cabin Boy.

The rest of you may opt instead to go about your preparations for the holidays.

Filthy Friday - The Crimbo Edition

I was all set to post a pic of a run-of-the-mill floppy willy or a garden-variety diseased minge here today. That is until Beast put the pressure on to post a Crimbo-themed Filthy Friday pic. So here it is…





Right. It’s not all that filthy on the surface so I’ll leave it up to your deviant little minds to tell us what’s really going on in this winter wonderland scene.

Happy Birthday, SID!

Happy Birthday, you filthy Irish bastard!


They said it was baby fat. They said he’d grow out of it.




Fast forward to adulthood…




A grown-up, blimpish, Brobdingnagian SID was the inspiration for Mr. Stay Puft from the movie Ghostbusters.




Why, you ask, am I such a devoted SIDophile?


Is it his fat, lumpy, wobbly arse?





Dead sexy




Is it his bald patch?




Patch is partially concealed by this product.




Is it his man boobs?
(Click the link above to see his moobs…I dare not post them again lest sensitive viewers regurgitate.)


Is it my beloved "Wee SID?"



Is it his Rebel Without A Cause attitude as he speeds down the motorway?






Yes, it’s all of the above but it’s SO much more. So much more that space doesn’t allow but I’ll let you in on a secret.

I love the way SID fills out a nappy…
















Balloon dance optional





“Wee SID” lights up in celebration



Everyone help yourselves to cake while I blow out the candle!!!






Happy Birthday to our Stupid Irish Daddy.

First round's on me. Sláinte!

Open Wide

I have a dental appointment today.





The kind-hearted amongst you will applaud me for maintaining good oral hygiene practices.

The vicious amongst you will relate your tales of...

DENTAL HORROR!

Either way, I’m prepared.

How Not to Decorate

Welcome to the second installment in Infomaniac’s new series entitled, “How Not to Decorate.”

This series is your window of opportunity to view some of my ghastly home decor.

Todays topic…

GNOMES

Chez Infomaniac there are exterior garden gnomes (pictured above) AND interior gnomes.

Voice your opinions on gnomes here.


Note: Do you have an item in your house that can top my gnome for its crap design appeal?

Email a photo of it to me and I’ll collect enough pics to do a posting of Infomaniac readers’ shite. So far one reader has made a submission. Keep ‘em coming.

Burberry Gone Bad

Book Title of the Day

How People Who Don't Know They're Dead Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It.

Filthy Friday

(click for bigger balls)


Note to Betty and Garfer: I promised you a man with three testicles and I delivered.

Happy Birthday, Geoff!

Infomaniac presents:

Geoff Through the Ages: The Man Who Would Be a Blogger

























Over to you now, bitches.

Why was Geoff such a miserable baby?

Why the bemused look as a youth?

What kind of man has he become?

p.s. Sorry ladies. He’s Betty’s.

Croc Horror

You're all familiar with my rage against Crocs.



regular, hideously-ugly Crocs


Just when I thought the world's ugliest summer shoe was safely tucked away for the winter, the uglification has been bumped up a notch with the introduction of Mammoth Crocs.

Imagine if Ugg boots threw up into a pair of regular Crocs. That is what Mammoth Crocs look like.




Mammoth Crocs



The fleece-lined Mammoth Crocs are intended to be worn in the winter months (by men, women and children) to keep your feet warm and toasty.

I'd rather walk barefoot across a glacier!

The sturdy Croslite™ material will survive a nuclear explosion. So it looks like Crocs are with us forever.




Arrrghhh!!! They’ve reproduced!


I think we've seen enough.

Oh the Croc Horror.

Book Sniffing

I’m a book sniffer. I love the aroma of used bookstores and old books.





So at last they’ve made a perfume and room spray with me in mind.





The creator of “In The Library” says it smells like an “English Novel taken from a Signed First Edition of one of my very favorite novels, Russian & Moroccan leather bindings, worn cloth and a hint of wood polish.”


I’m hoping it really does smell like old books but NOT like a library. I don’t know about your public library but mine smells like wet raingear, rancid old tramps and farts.


Are you a book sniffer? Would you wear a scent that smells like old books? If you wore the scent, what kind of person would it attract to you? Or repel away from you? What would happen if you sprayed it on?