Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Open Wide

I have a dental appointment today.

The kind-hearted amongst you will applaud me for maintaining good oral hygiene practices.

The vicious amongst you will relate your tales of...


Either way, I’m prepared.


  1. I'm going AGAIN today. This will be my third dentist this year.

    Third time lucky!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. You can back up a semi and park it into that gap of yours.

  4. MJ , Happy holidays .

  5. Nitrous oxide is the chemical name for laughing gas.
    Ha ha ha ha ha - not really very funny though is it?

  6. How odd, I went to the dentist just yesterday to have a crown installed (you may bow and call me His Royal Highness).

  7. GEOFF: Your dentist is financing a Spanish villa thanks to you.

    WAITRESS: “Mind the Gap” as they say on The Tube.

    GEO: And happy holidays to you and the family!

    Thanks for dropping by.

    KAZ: N2O is also available in handy whipped cream canister size.

    Not that I would know anything more about that.

    RIMMER: Curtsy to me when you approach this blog.

    *bops Rimmer on the noggin’ with my sceptre*

  8. Try to make me get a filling
    and I said No No NO!

    I have never questioned your oral fact I encourage it.

    It is rude to subject your Dentist to gas during your visit however it is still the best way to keep the bastard from fiddling with your swimsuit area when you are under.

  9. hhmmmm... wonder if my dentist will let me dose myself with whatever it is he gives me?

  10. HE: One of my fave singers, Dinah Washington, has this to say about her dentist, from a song called Long John Blues…

    He took out his trusted drill
    And he told me to open wide
    He said he wouldn't hurt me
    But he'd fill my hole inside
    Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
    You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

    ANGEL: What exactly IS he giving you?

  11. (as they are forever fond of saying on the London Underground)
    "Please Mind The Gap"

  12. TONY: Maybe I should wear this t-shirt to the dentist.

    Uh-oh. Time for my app’t! Catch up with you all later.

  13. That reminds me of the only Seinfeld episode I've ever seen. The one where he goes to the dentist.

    I can't remember much of it, but it was hilarious. If you haven't seen it I recommend you do BEFORE you go

    Just to be prepared

  14. My dentist is a mad Harley Davidson riding German called Ulrich.

    He tells me Hungary is the place to go for dental imlants.

  15. i have never had a single filling....
    give the beast a balloon

  16. CYBERTOOTH: Was that the episode with Kramer high on Novocaine?

    Your comment came too late. I’ve been and gone but now I’m back.

    GARFY: And Poland for hip replacements.

    In the words of Coronation Street’s Blanche Hunt: "I want a foreign bit! Tracy's got her Moroccan kidney. Why can't I have a Polish hip?"

    BEAST: Nothing says party time like a nitrous-oxide filled balloon.


  17. Ah, you still live.

    Damn that dentist - The bribe obviously wasn't big enough.

    * tuts *

  18. IVD: If it's any consolation, I feel oddly nauseous and must go into a darkened room for awhile.

    So perhaps whatever you bribed him with is taking effect now.

    Good night.

  19. now see, when i think of you i think of big mamma thorntons 'if I cant sell it, I'll just sit on it, cuz I aint givin it away.'

    didja fly without valium?

  20. Going to see a strange man to have him put his tool in your mouth AGAIN??

    Remember to spit,though knowing you, you'll probably swallow and ask for more.

  21. FN: Or Bessie Smith...

    He give me a lesson that I never had before
    When he got to teachin' me, from my elbow down was sore
    He poured my first cabbage and he made it awful hot
    He poured my first cabbage and he made it awful hot
    When he put in the bacon, it overflowed the pot.

    SID: Speak of the Cabbage Man and he appears.

  22. And thus he did.

    Does your pot o'erflow alot then?

    You can get help with that.

  23. it was the one where the nurse and dentist may have had a little fun too much fun with a drugged up Seinfeld

  24. I hope you're well satisfied after paying a professional to take care of your cavities.

    I hope he was careful, lest you end up in a compromising position.