Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Results of the British Biscuit Trial

It’s not been all fun in the sun with me, you know. I’ve been busy putting your British biccies to the test.

Without going far afield, I tracked down both McVitie's HobNobs and McVitie's Ginger Nuts in my neighbourhood.

Both biscuits proved excellent dunkers. They withstood crumbling and distentegrating in both tea and milk. A couple of “tough cookies” you might say.

The ginger nuts became even more gingery when immersed in tea and the HobNobs even oatier.

One drawback, however, was that the tea took on a ginger flavour following the ginger nut dunking.

I’m gloating over the fact that I’ve mastered the art of the dunk. Just a few seconds of immersion does the trick. No lingering! The biccies held their shape yet still maintained a slight crunch following dunking. And not a single crumb of residue left over in the cup.

Just when I was reveling in my newly acquired dunking skill, I read that a tearoom in Brighton has outlawed biscuit dunking. If you dunk your biscuit, you’ll be invited to leave the establishment. The tearoom owner is nothing short of a tea Nazi! He said: "People have to obey the rules and if not they are asked to leave. It is the art of tea drinking - this is not going to Starbucks with a mug of coffee."

Left to right: HobNob and Ginger Nut.

Which biscuit did I prefer? In the final crunch, I’ll be purchasing more packets of HobNobs and sharing them with other ignorant Canucks to show them what they’re missing out on over here.

In future, I’ll have to make a sidetrip to the British specialty shops to find any other kind of British biccies as this was all my neighbourhood had to offer.

Thanks, all of you, for your biccie suggestions from last week. It’s been a treat.


  1. First! You mean to tell me that we had them here in the states longer then you canucks? We have been eating them for years. So does this mean that you are a hobnobber now?

  2. Dang it, Geo! You beat me!! Go to bed!Or better yet, tend to that screaming youngin!!!! :)

    Hobnobs looks quite tasty.

  3. GEO & AWA: Would BOTH of you shut up and go to bed! Why are you still up? It's late in Philly. And in Mississippi.

    Geo, I don't know if I'm a hobnobber but I'll hobble your nob if you don't watch it.

  4. Dang it! I do have to be up at 5 in the morn to ensure the kids catch the bus.

    Off to bed now. At least I was second.

    Gawd, I missed this.

  5. We'll never get any rest now that Awa's back.

  6. Dude..I watched LA Ink and the cool chicks in LA can like totally call each other dude, it is no longer gender specific, like Dude, why are you like more British than like Barbara Woodhouse?

    I'm concerned about your emotional well being. Perhaps bisquit is a code name or slang for something.
    Do try and get some rest Dear.

  7. HE: I'll post my recipe for poutine next week then EH?

  8. Poutine is Franch Canajun eh! ((ptooey!))
    I just know that there is little or no hope of us ever becoming as civilized as you might hope and I hate to see you get hurt.
    We are too frickin' overwhelmed by the youknowwho below the 49th to ever elevate our societal standards to your lofty goal of reproducing Victorian England.

    I'm just sayin' is all.

  9. Chocolate covered Hob Nobs are the best.

    Nasty plate, by the way - very 80's. Did you find it in a reject shop or a jumble sale?

  10. We lace Hobnobs with mind control drugs before export, thus ensuring that the rude colonials retain their deluded sense of independence and don't get to uppity.


  11. I agree with P&T - nasty plate, also are they pubes scattered on the dirty worksurface???

  12. Like breastfeeding, it should not be done in public.

    However, dunking one's tits in one's tea is to be encouraged.

  13. HE: You’re right. Let’s go to Timmy’s for a double double and a triple glazed.

    PIGGY: Those “nasty” plates are Fiestaware, you design-challenged mong.

    The company started production of these colourful plates in 1936 and yes, I did get them at a jumble sale, bargain-hunter that I am.

    GARFY: It’s all part of a conspiracy.

    They also try to fool we simple Colonials by bottling certain “import” beers in Canada.

    FROBI: I was multi-tasking by giving myself a bikini wax in the kitchen.

    GEOFF: Dunking tits in tea?

    We don’t need to know EVERYTHING that goes on in the Geoff & Betty household.

    *it’s always the quiet ones*

  14. Fiestaware were obviously the design challenged mongs.

    Fucking horrid.

    Oh, the shame.

  15. I think it looks quite festive. Add a jalapeno pepper and hang a pinata from the chandelier.

    *grabs stick*
    *aims at piggy*

  16. PIGGY: At least I eat off plates and not from a trough as you do.

    AWA: Let's papier-mâché Piggy.

    *takes a swing at the Piggy piñata*

  17. *grabs hockey stick from MJ*

    *hands her Louisville Slugger*

    Here, use this.

  18. MAIDY: I've got a Sherwood hockey stick and a stubby beer bottle. Yay Canada.

  19. *wraps barbed wire around bat*
    *breaks beer bottle and hands back to MJ*

    Now that's better.

  20. *grabs paper bag and fills with soda pop cans*

    *takes running swing at MJ*

  21. AWA & MAIDY: You Americans and your culture of violence.

    *hits Piggy AND Maidy with a packet of HobNobs*

  22. I agree with P&T. Those plates, Fiestaware or not is not an excuse for poor taste.

    As you saw in one of my posts even Versace makes mistakes. That plate is just ghastly.

    I do approve that you are going vintage though.

    Also dunking is a big no no no!

  23. CYBERTWINK: In the unlikely event that I ever invite you to tea, especially after that comment, I’ll serve you from that plate as it’s radioactive.

  24. Why thank you mj darling, for the heads up

    I'll be sure to bring my own plate

  25. I've got a plate just like it.

    Hob-nobs rule.

  26. CYBERSOMETHING: I'll make you eat off the floor.

    TICKERS: Someone should have told me that I'd get addicted to HobNobs.

    *balloons up to 300 pounds overnight*

  27. There's also Chocolate covered Hobnobs.

    I can't wait until they invent chocolate and caramel hobnobs.

  28. fine. you eat the overpriced import gingersnaps and oatmeal cookies. now that piggy's a pinata i'm going to present myself to tazzy as a sleek young gay gent with exceptional upper body development. think he'll buy it?

  29. TICKERS: Mmm...chocolate and caramel coated hobnobs. That's dirty talk.

    FN: If it works, I want a stint as your body double.

    PIGGY: Killjoy.

  30. Hello again!

    I'm disappointed to find that Chocolate Digestives were not included. They remind me of big brown nipples.

  31. WARING: Milk or dark chocolate nipples?

  32. Milk....or dark. I'm not fussy. They should come out with pink chocolate digestives for white supremacist biscuit lovers.