Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Pick Me A Biccie

HobNobs, Penguins, Tunnocks Tea Cakes.

They’re common in the UK but what about here in Canada? Either we can order UK biscuits online or overpay at British specialty shops.

So I want you to pick me a biccie. Many of them I haven’t tried including the few listed above so I have no idea which biscuits are worth shelling out for.

Tell me your fave and I’ll give it a trial chew.

Taste test results to follow in the weeks to come after purchase.

Note: Spelling corrected from “bikkies” to “biccies” to appease the pedants.


  1. Do they have "Cost Plus" stores in the barbarian north? They sell them all there. Hob Nobs are fuckin ace, especially chocolate covered ones. You can't beat chocolate digestives even if you are havin a wank and custard creams rule. You can't go wrong with a Tunnocks Tea Cake.

    Is this all just a pathetic attempt to get Brits to send you free biccies ?
    You really are a tight arsed whore aren't you? And no, that isn't what you think it means....

  2. Fox's are generally the best. I like Party Rings cause you can put them on your little finger and nibble them away.

    All British biscuits are worth the ridiculous prices we have to pay for them. You just can't dunk yank cookies in yer tea, they are not up to the task and break apart too easily.

  3. I was also 1st, 2nd and 3rd so you can all kiss my hairy arse except Piggy and Tazzy cause you lads would enjoy it....and Tickers, I'm not sure about him either.

  4. Or Knudsen....I don't know where he's been, nor do I want to.

  5. 4th and 5th too..... I believe it is customary to say "YAY!"

  6. Crumbs!
    Scottish Shortbread!that's the best.........

  7. There are some heathens who claim that eating a Tunnocks Tea Cake is like ingesting shaving cream.

    I feel that you would be happier with a fondant fancy than a mere biscuit.

  8. Oh, it's 'biccies' btw.

    Sorry to be pedantic, but these things matter.

  9. I used to live just down the road from Mc Vities.
    As you drove past you could smell Hobnobs or Jaffa cakes.

    Mmmmm - and no calories.

    I like those brown sandwich biccies with the brown filling. Can't remember the name - begins with B.

  10. EDDIE: Are you on the bottle again?

    I’m assuming Cost Plus is one of those giant superstores that litter the American landscape? We have something similar. I’ll investigate.

    I do, in fact, prefer chocolate if I’m having a wank so thank you.

    Yes, this is a pathetic attempt to get you Brits to send me free biccies. It worked with Tazzy and Piggy. They sent me a packet of pork scratchings when I told them I'd never tried pork scratchings. By the way, Taz and Pig are visiting the Smunts in Dorset this week so they weren’t here to yell “Yay, first!” Otherwise you, sir, you be toast.

    And yes, I AM a tight arsed whore and that means what you think it means.

    Now where’s my free biccies?

    TONY: Scottish Shortbread…now there’s a biscuit I know and love. Good choice.

    Do you have a packet to spare in your pantry for a biccie-deprived Canuck?

    GARFY: Tunnocks Tea Cakes cost the equivalent here of more than 2 pounds. Is that a good deal or no for a 6 pack? And they only have the milk chocolate not the dark chocolate.

    The fondant fancy looks a little rich for my tastes. I prefer something not so sugary. Suggestions?

    Please note that I’ve changed the spelling from “bikkies” to “biccies.” I am but an ignorant Colonial. Please forgive me.

    KAZ: I heard there was some debate in your land over the jaffa cake. “Jaffa Cake: Is it a cake or is it a biscuit?” Was this controversy ever settled?

    Could someone please assist Kaz in identifying “those brown sandwich biccies with the brown filling. Can't remember the name - begins with B?”

  11. Oh, for goodness sakes they are called "BOURBONS"

    Agreed, Foxs do the best biscuits. You can get a box called "Tea Time Selection" a sort of variety pack.

    Malted milk are nice, Walkers Shortbread even better. Digestives lovely, Ginger Nuts an old favourite!

  12. Chocolate chip cookies. They probably don't count though because they've got an American name.

    Given the reputation of this blog, I'm surprised someone hasn't mentioned Milky Biscuit yet ...

  13. FROBI: Thank you for solving the "B" biscuit mystery. Kaz, please take note.

    Ginger nuts? I'm not sure I could put something with a name like that in my mouth.

    BETTY: Chocolate chip cookies count! Any particular brand?

    Milky biscuits? That's what they call dog biscuits over here.

  14. Hands down Hob Nobs win. I used to eat them by the package. I put on about 50lbs while doing it but it was worth every biscuit.

  15. Just bloody move there already!
    Show a little respect for our glorious nation and homeland for gawdsake or I weel taunt yeu a szekond time!

    Might I remind you that Canada, Burkina Faso, Grenada, Tajikistan, and Great Britain are all currently tied for 3rd place in the where NOT to eat Bisquits sweepstakes.

    Of course North Korea is still in 1st place but France is throwing a tantrum in order to sway the judges and public opinion while trying to regain the title that they have had since 1066.

  16. PISSOFF: I'll eat even more HobNobs if I arrange them artfully as in that top pic.

    HE: Go on then, patriot.

    Name me one good Canadian biscuit.

  17. The Yankees call biscuits scones.
    They also call crisps chips.

    This is downright wrong.

    Forget the biccies, what you want is a nice doner kebab drenched in chilli sauce. Just think of all that lovely grease dripping down your chin.

  18. GARFY: Hold on. The Yankees and Canucks call what you would call a biscuit a "cookie."

    In the U.S., a "biscuit" is a round baked bread made with baking powder, somewhat like a scone. So the Yankees call scones biscuits.

    And yes, it's wrong.

    I've never had the pleasure of a doner kebab. You make it sound like gastro porn. So dirty. You filthy Irish are all the same.

  19. BITCHES: Since none of you have FedExed me a tin of biscuits yet, I’m forced to go out and earn wages to pay for my own bikkies.

    By the time I get home, you UK lot will be tucked into your little beds.

    Continue to educate me in the way of the biscuit.

    See you tomorrow.

  20. Oh my mistake, Garfy, that's "biccies."

  21. I know I am not a Brit but we Danes have biscuits too dammit.

    If I knew your addy I would consider sending you some.

  22. In France they have biscuits called "cat's tongues" (obviously in French) and they are great

  23. I'm more a fan of the cereal bar. Jordans Frusli Blueberry Burst goes down very nicely with red wine. I don't like dipping anything in my tea. I've had some bad experiences swallowing soggy ginger nuts.

    And Rich Tea is all wrong. You think of "rich" as in a rich, fruity fruitcake. A Rich Tea biscuit is bland.

  24. I love cats tongues, Anonymous - The biccies, not actual cat tongues, that is.

    MJ, how about fig rolls? Or Garibaldis? Mmmmm... I could just eat a Garibaldi or twelve right now. Can you get those in Canuckistan, or do you require a pack to be issued?

  25. Whatever happened to Fig Rolls? They're worth a munch. Jammy Dodgers and custard creams take the.......well, they take a bit of beating as well.
    If you found out what they use biscuits for at British public schools you'd soon go off them!

  26. I will send biscuits email me your address/po box MJ

    *wonders if it will be expensive*

  27. My local corner shop used to have a broken biscuit barrel.

    Any biccie you want.


  28. CYBERPETE: The Danes do biccies? Tell me more.

    I thought all you ate there was pickled herring.

    ANON: Why are you anonymous?

    Cat got your tongue?

    GEOFF: Frankly, the thought of anything involving soggy ginger nuts sickens me.

    And brings to mind Les Battersby in the bath.

    IVD: Is a fig roll the same thing as a fig Newton?

    Garibaldis? Never tried ‘em but will check the shops. And I see (by Googling) that they’re also known as “dead fly biscuits.” Mmm. Appetizing.

    PITHER: I always thought “Jammy Dodgers” was a name they made up for biccies on Coronation Street. They’re real?

    As for the British public schools, I’m sure it has something to do with “soggy biscuits.”

    FROBI: It WILL be expensive.

    I’ll see if the shops here carry any of your suggested biccies before calling for your aide.

    SID: Indulging on broken biccies?

    *explains how your arse got so big*

  29. BITCHES: Thank you one and all for your input.

    Taste testing will begin soon with a report to follow in the weeks to come.

  30. Jammie Dodgers - you better believe it! God's gift to mankind. Also, I see you've read "things they do at British public schools to relax"!

  31. It's bikkies where I come from. Being pedantic doesn't make you right, it just makes you pedantic.

  32. As others have noted, Hobnobs are greatly dunkable, especially the chocolate topped ones.

    There are also hobnobs with caramel and chocolate, but they're not so good - if eaten without dunking the hardnesses and textures of the biscuit, chocolate and caramel somehow clash, and you wind up still chewing the caramel after you've swallowed the rest. Dunked, they become more homogenoue, but with a dense, concretelike consistency.

    Probably the most pointless biscuits I'm tried are McVities Low Fat Milk Chocolate Digestives. Half the fat, half the taste, same price.

    But then, I've seen people eat pancakes with Diet Maple Syrup, which is even more pointless.