Thursday, June 07, 2007

TOXIC TOTTY: Sean Connery

“Yesh, I’m the Sexiesht Man Alive.”

It’s time for the second installment in Infomaniac’s new series entitled Toxic Totty.

From time to time, Infomaniac will post images of celebrities who should have kept their clothes ON. Or, if not in a state of undress, should reconsider their fashion options.

Today we feature Scottish actor Sean Connery as he appeared in the 1974 low-budget sci-fi film Zardoz.

Not every man can pull off a red leather loincloth (or is it a nappy?) / bandolier combo with thigh high boots and a ponytail.

The film takes an ever more bizarre turn when Sir Sean shows up on screen in a wedding dress.

Great Scot!

The costume designer should be "shaken, not stirred."

Prunella Jones just sent this pic to me. Sensitive viewers please avert your eyes…


  1. A John Boorman film that lives up to his last name, fuck I despise this movie with all my heart, what a load of shite, hate it hate it hate it and thankyou for reminding me of it and especially for posting that sick picture, so anyway that really stupid collage at the end when they age to death in front of the camera, Boorman wrote and directed this and it seems he did most of his work while on acid. What is Connery thinking as he stands there looking like a twat? "Ive got a hit here, no more fucking Bond films for me."

  2. I'm trying to work out which picture is worse... *shudder*

  3. Ooh, SC with a ponytail! I like men with long hair.

    I'm also totally digging the little white bits at the top of his thighs where he clearly never tans. Hehehehe.

  4. He doesn't need a nappy while he's wearing those boots.

  5. He did this AFTER the Bond movies?

    Oh dear........

  6. He doesn't need a gun. His enemies would die laughing.

  7. it reminds me of my own worst Fashion Accident .in the late 70s i had a mate who was a squddie stationed in Germany.He brought me back a bright Red Leather Shirt.It squeaked every time i moved.Huge lapels.......i thanked him.& felt obliged to wear it everytime we went out drinking when he was home on leave.I looked a right prat .It was only years later i realised he was taking the piss................

  8. KNUDSEN: What was Connery thinking? He may have been pondering how much scotch and women the paycheque would buy.

    BILLY: At least he’s covered up in the wedding dress pic.

    CB: The sun doesn’t shine on his upper thighs for good reason.

    *tries to erase image of Connery nude sunbathing*

    KAZ: Giving a whole new meaning to the term “shit kickers.”

    ANDI: Connery once said, “I have always hated that damn James Bond. I’d like to kill him.” Yet this film didn’t kill his career.

    GEOFF: His costume is a lethal weapon.

    TONY: Did you pair the shirt up with a pair of polyester trousers and platform boots?

  9. .of course!doesnt everybody?

  10. His nuts seem to have a seatbelt each. (Just in case he has to put the brakes on in a hurry).

  11. I myshelf am neither shaken or shtirred by theesh photograpshs.

    Thish coming from a man who is shtill laughing at ShNL Celebrity Jeopardy nearly two decadesh later...

    "I'll take the rapisht for one hundred so Suck it Trebek!"

  12. TONY: You must have driven the ladies wild.

    GEOFF: What a novel form of male birth control!


    Alex Trebek: Let's just go to "Animal Sounds" for $600. This is the sound a doggy makes. [ Connery buzzes in ] Mr. Connery.

    Sean Connery: Moo. [ buzzer sounds ]

    Alex Trebek: No.

    Sean Connery: Well, that's the sound your mother made last night! [ laughs ]

    Alex Trebek: No! Good Lord! We would've accepted "bow-wow" or "ruff"!

    Sean Connery: Ah, ruff. Just the way your mother likes it Trebek!

  13. As we can see it doesn't matter what Sean wears. He's all man, baby.

  14. Good Lord!

    * averts eyes too late *

    Only Daniel Craig can save me now!

  15. PRU: Sean Connery is so hairy that his ex-wife had to shave his back every 3 weeks.

    Just think. If you’d acted faster when they split, that could have been your job!

    IVD: Daniel Craig? Egad. Not another one of your rescue fantasies.

    You’re such a damsel in distress.

  16. I must say, I have always thought of Sean to be dead sexy...but in that first pic...well, he looks...just wrong.

    Now I shall never see him the same way again.

  17. Actually, no man can pull off a red leather loincloth/bandolier combo with thigh high boots and a ponytail.

    Not even Shir Sean.

  18. AWA: See what you missed when you had that dial-up period?

    BOCK: Absholutely, Bock. Absholutely.

    *I gotta schtop talking like thish*

  19. MJ, I saw, now I am blinded.

  20. Photo #1 Sean looks like the animation model for SHREK's Puss In Boots!

  21. I meant to say montage not collage but I was too disgusted, the future is not Orange its ghey.