Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Inexplicable DeVice: The Man Behind the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts

For those of you unfamiliar with the ways of our resident witch, Inexplicable Device, (aka IVD, aka THE WINNER OF THE FREAKIN’ GREEN ELF SHORTS) surely you must be curious to know more about him.

Those of you who’ve heard this story before, run along now.

Everyone else, hearken back to a night in January 2007.

A drunken IVD made guest appearances on a few of our blogs after drinking a potent witch’s brew.

Not surprisingly, he was more lucid in his drunken state than when he’s sober.

Thankfully he didn’t vomit in anyone’s blog. Small mercies.

Pull up a chair to relive some of the finer bon mots left behind by IVD on that winter's evening...

Fuck ,! so drunke,!

Shit wzaasht Have i done?

I don;t afucking knoe. Shit amutst try better



Ignotere athat. Bufggger

Haven'y \\\\i been here?
Oooh hello |SID. I tinka
Oh crap I',m acrap a ttthais FfBastard/

Must do better,.
try harder.

Reallu budggger

Vety! Why Am I aso Drunk/?Q!

Shaking. Sleep. Tired. Diidef. IFytird. BAstrad, What in dhtirrst ams I doing?

Kill me

Fuck! I've fUKIONG SOBERED UP! Must go to bed,. Nee dwater. Will go now.

And my personal favourite…

Yes! I lovwe yous (in response to SID’s question, “Do I have to follow you around cleaning up your vomit all night?”)

Inexplicable DeVice…Some misguided fools say he’s luscious. I say he’s just a lush. You be the judge.


  1. He took The Words Right Out of my mouth!
    He sounds Polish!

  2. It's obviously Tony after a night on the binge.

  3. I thought the very lucid "kill me" in the midst of all the drunken typing was pure class.

  4. Oh dear.

    * hangs head while reaching for the bottle *

  5. Ee speek batter hinglash dan Stéphane Dion non?
    Mehbe ee runz fore da Librallz eh!

  6. TONY & KAZ: I'm never quite sure what Tony's on about so I just nod my head in agreement.

    CB: Luckily, no one was armed that night.

    IVD: What's that I smell?

    Have you just had a little nip of gin?

    HE: For shoor on dat.

  7. Hey IDV

    I have a bottle of Bombay Sapphire if you are interested..

    come on

    I know you want to

  8. Anyone notice that M and J have now taken their blog down?

    MJ: I got my laptop so posting should become more frequent.

  9. That 'Kill Me' is a little bit scary - reminds me of the main character from The Shining - how he keeps typing 'all work and no play makes jack a dull boy' over and over.

  10. CYBERPETE: The boozy old floozy is probably bladdered by now.

    CONNIE: M and J's blog has come down? It's the end of an era. This is right up there with the fall of the Berlin Wall.

    They'll be back.

    You'll be posting more frequently? One door closes and another door opens. Thanks for the warning.

    STEVE: Hello Smunty.

    *mutters "redrum" repeatedly*

  11. Heh, I need to brush up on my drunk speak cuz it's been awhile and well fuck.. i just didnt get it.. lol

  12. How sad is it that I was able to understand all of that on the first skim through?

  13. KRISSTEEN: "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."

    CHICKA: You're bilingual!

  14. IDV, why don't you and I get together for a night of drunken blogging pleasure.

    Yeah, I woulvvd lohvg to havee youe with mee in a drunfken poset.

  15. AWA: You and IVD would make a great drunken blogging team.

  16. SID: Precious memories, how they linger.

    Bend over, I'll insert my finger.