Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Seven Year Bitch

March 23rd marks Infomaniac's SEVENTH anniversary.

And a Bitch is tired.


[thanks, Thom!]

Mistress MJ has to put her feet up when it comes to blogging.

Seven years of amusing you Bitches, day in and day out, has taken its toll.

2,715 posts can do that to a Bitch. But who's counting?

Not only that but Mistress MJ's schedule this year has picked up the pace what with The World Domination Tour, upcoming World Domination spin-off tours, and the ridiculous amount of paperwork that comes with it.

Let's face it. Mistress MJ simply cannot multitask like she used to...



Or perhaps she's getting older and slowing down a little and will soon be joining the likes of Mr. Peenee and Normadesmond (as seen below) at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home...



No, this is NOT the end...


[via]

But Mistress MJ will be posting less frequently and visiting you Bitches only when time allows.

A reminder that you can also find Mistress MJ over at The Hair Hall of Fame where, along with several other Infomaniac Bitches, she is a beautician/contributor. Have you met our manager, Mr. Cookie?...



Thanks to all of you for making the past seven years the most fun a Bitch can have without getting horizontal.

105 comments:

  1. It's been a fun ride, so to speak.

    PS: FIRST!

    ReplyDelete
  2. No need to quibble, fellas, over who's first.

    There's plenty of Mistress MJ to go around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But for how much longer? Sniff. Sniff. Waaaail..!! Jx

      Delete
    2. There's plenty of Mistress MJ to go around! I just read that on a bill board yesterday.

      Delete
    3. Jon, we may need a dip in the gincuzzi

      Delete
    4. Before it dries up... Jx

      Delete
    5. JON & MISTRESS MADDIE: The Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi remain open 24/7 for your convience.

      Delete
    6. AND for your convenience.

      Delete
  3. What are "World Domination spin-off tours"? The daily commute to the liquor store?

    You mean, when LX and me keep hands we could reach around you?
    Oh ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah manners ...

      Happy anniversary, dearest Mistress MJ! Es ist eine Freude Dich gefunden zu haben, ohne Dich wäre das Netz wirklich ein öder Ort. Auch wenn Du weniger häufig posten wirst, The Infomaniac ist und bleibt eine der besten Adressen im weiten Umkreis. Ich hoffe nur, daß Du Deinen Lesern noch lange erhalten bleiben wirst!
      Auf die kommende Zeit, Du süßer Schnuckel!

      Delete
    2. MAGO: I’m going to need a translator.

      Did you say something about a bad odor?

      Delete
    3. No.
      I think you smell of Zitronengrass. Maybe something by Terry de Gunzburg.

      Delete
    4. MAGO: I think YOU smell like this.

      Delete
    5. I like to wear Ombre, but its fucking expensive. I simply dislike most of these scents for men.
      BTW I am happy that the actual bookmines are now slowly developing a kind a scent of ther own - I scrapped up tons of dust - and dust plainly stinks! Like Zombie.

      Delete
    6. MAGO: Perfume too expensive?

      Take a tip from Mistress MJ.

      At the fragrance counter of your department store, ask for a sample vial of your favourite fragrance. Sometimes they’ll give you a little vial of perfume to take home with you.

      Mistress MJ does this ALL the time and never has to buy the expensive bottle!

      Delete
    7. p.s. I wish they would do the same thing at the liquor store!

      Delete
  4. It's been a fantastic journey, and I've enjoyed nearly five years of it... though I now look more like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane than Marilyn Monroe/Scarlett Johanwotsit.
    Sxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: If you’re Baby Jane, am I Blanche?

      “You wouldn't be able to do these awful things to me if I weren't still in this chair.”

      Delete
  5. Well... It's taken 7 years... but I guess the rehab is finally working!

    They say that "less is more"...

    I'm just glad that you are not closing down shop completely and removing your shingle... tho I guess you will still be removing your undergarments on a regular basis... I'll send you a supersized bottle of "febreeze" so you can at least freshen up this old spot occasionally...
    7years is an awful long time darling...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: Your blowjob bank is finally in the post.

      It’s amazing how not blogging frees up time to go to the post office.

      Delete
    2. Yay! I'll finally have somewhere to store all the coins I've managed to save up... I've got $3.65 in five cent bits saved so far...

      Delete
    3. PRINCESS: You’ll soon have enough money saved up to buy a blowjob in one of my old neighbourhoods in Toronto.

      A blowjob costs only $5.00!

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. AYEM8Y: Feel free to continue to send me naked photos of yourself.

      Delete
  7. Well all I can say is merci, merci et merci.
    *sniff*
    Thanks for providing us an outlet to be as silly and crazy as we wanted.
    *sniff*

    Et je souhaite que ta route soit remplie de milles petits miracles chaque jour!

    MUAH, MUAH, MUAH!

    Hugs
    Jehan-Pierre

    *cries relentlessly*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: C’est tiguidou!

      Ne pleures pas, mon chum.

      Je continuerai à “blogger” de temps en temps.

      Delete
  8. Thom is good. That is exactly how I picture you blogging! And have you gotten rid of the seven year itch yet? Speaking of blowing you a kiss, I do believe I owe you a arse pic yet. Is it still year of the arse?

    Kisses darling.... now rest some. with those bags you could check them at baggage claim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: It’s now the Year of the Trouser Snake but if you send me a photo of your arse, I’ll include it in Infomaniac’s Gallery of Alluring Arses.

      Delete
  9. This portion of The Lawrence Welk Show has been brought to you by Geritol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THOM: As you can see, I’m sipping Geritol as we speak.

      Delete
  10. you haven't said goodbye, so this is OK. this is just a bit of a pause between postings, right, sugar? i've been remiss about stopping by, but i will continue to read whatever you write and will ALWAYS check out the pics! ;)

    *i feel like the maid in the help*
    Because:
    you iz smart.
    you iz kind.
    you iz im-por-tant.

    xoxoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SAVANNAH: Infomaniac will continue but at a languid pace.

      You should be used to that down there in the Deep South!

      Delete
  11. I really don't know how you have managed to do all that you have done, AND, for seven years?
    I'm exhausted just thinking about it...

    As long as you are going to stay in touch with us, I will be good with that.

    xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WALLY: Mistress MJ’s “get up and go” got up and left.

      Delete
  12. POSTING LESS FREQUENTLY?

    i need to go write a letter to my senator.
    i simply won't stand for this kind of behavior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: I have a good 40 or 50 photos of you that haven’t been posted yet.

      I’m not giving up while you’re still fodder for my ramblings.

      Delete
  13. no, but I bet you'll lie down for indecent behavior!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CALI-BOI: Welcome to Infomaniac!

      Cum again…although you might have to wait awhile ‘til the next post.

      Delete
    2. Oh dear Mj look out now. Cali is nothing but trouble and scandal. Cum again? He will. All he needs is the wind to in be the right direction.

      Delete
    3. MISTRESS MADDIE: I’ve visited his blog and it appears that Cali-Boi is celebrating the Year of the Trouser Snake for all it’s worth!

      Delete
  14. BITCHES: Just minutes after I published this post, the power went off.

    I liken it to when the lightning bolt struck the top of the Vatican's St Peter's Basilica, just hours after Pope Benedict XVI announced his surprise resignation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The power went out? Jesus, what kind of vibator are you using?

      Delete
    2. MISTRESS MADDIE: Remember, this is Canada. We only just got electricity.

      NORMA: That was harsh.

      Where is the love?

      Delete
    3. the love was right here a minute ago,
      oh...maybe you're sitting on it?

      Delete
    4. That's one of the vibrators Jason left behind.

      Delete
  15. I know what this is really all about. You have now used up all the cringe inducing pictures of wrinkledy old men flashing their wrinkledy old bits, haven't you?

    I don't know why you'd consider pulling the plug. Blogging allows you to insult us and still have us say we love. It's like Alzheimer's without the adult diapers.

    Speaking of which, where is that Febreeze Princess was offering? You could use a couple of good squirts of it up in here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: You say I’ve used up all the cringe inducing pictures of wrinkledy old men flashing their wrinkledy old bits?

      Those photos you recently sent me of yourself will keep Infomaniac going for some time to come!

      *sprays Febreze liberally in Peenee’s direction*

      Delete
  16. Hurrah!
    What's the traditional 7th anniversary gift, anyway?
    It's dildos, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JASON: Wool is the traditional seventh anniversary gift.

      Could you knit Mistress MJ a new, cramp-free uterus?

      Delete
  17. [panics at loss of the cushy pillow-fluffing gig]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. not to worry cutie, I have plenty for you to fluff!

      Delete
    2. LX: Looks like your pillow-fluffing business is about to take off what with Mistress Maddie demanding your services!

      And I’ll ALWAYS require your services as “Personal IT Consultant to Mistress MJ.”

      I’ve been thinking about asking you if you know a good alternative to Google Reader but it looks like Miss Scarlet is on top of it with Feedly.

      Delete
  18. First Google Reader - now this! Happy that you are just planning to reduce your hours instead of retiring abruptly. I will continue to monitor at a distance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Have just signed up to Feedly, much better and easier to use than Reader... much, much better... MJ is wonderful in Feedly... so she can't stop now.
      Sx

      Delete
    2. ZENFANCY: Your Tumblr blog has been a cornucopia of cock for Mistress MJ for quite some time and will continue to be a source for many photos in future. I enjoy your selections tremendously.

      ZENFANCY & MISS SCARLET: When I found out that Google Reader is being dissolved, I threw my hands up in the air. I considered posting about it and asking you Bitches what feed to use as a replacement but instead I used the dissolution of Google Reader as just one more nail in the coffin as to why I’m slowing down my blogging schedule.

      I’ll look into Feedly…but only if it’s easy to install and easy to use. Mistress MJ cannot keep up with all the changes.

      Delete
    3. "but instead I used the dissolution of Google Reader as just one more nail in the coffin as to why I’m slowing down my blogging schedule."

      Me too! Even though I haven't posted that much I still read everything. It's become very time consuming. Just joined Feedly though...it did all the work for me in less than a minute.

      Delete
    4. AYEM8Y: Thanks for your input.

      I just attempted to visit Feedly but got this message…

      Error 503 Service Unavailable

      They must be busy greeting the thousands of bloggers who are migrating over there from Google Reader!

      Delete
    5. I looked at their site earlier this day and they saied that within the last 48 hours more than 500.000 ex-google-reader-users had switched to their program - so it's a good guess that their servers are down.

      Delete
    6. MAGO: As an old cigarette advertising campaign used to say, I’d rather switch than fight!

      Delete
    7. Ooops...I got that backwards. Apparently, they'd rather fight than switch!

      Delete
    8. JON: I'm assuming he's one of the "gays against Sunday brunch."

      And congratulations! You're comment #69!

      Delete
    9. A favourite position. Of course. Jx

      Delete
  19. I don't know how you do it on a daily basis, sometimes twice daily, I'd be a knackered old cow too if I did it as often as you. Once a week is enough for anyone. I hope it's not au avoir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "In der woche ziwer, schadet weder ihm noch ihr."
      Dr. Martin Luther

      (Twice a week is good for him and her.)

      Delete
    2. MITZI: It’s not au revoir.

      But I am a knackered old cow.

      Delete
    3. Shortage of food massage ... shoot me please.

      Delete
    4. MAGO: Do you mean “food” massage or “foot” massage?

      Do you want your bratwurst massaged?

      Delete
    5. I could roll a cold Rübe over you if you like, but thought about your beautiful feet.
      Since I rammed my knee into the Franconian tar I do not want to eat or have my bratwurst massaged ... life's dull ...

      Delete
    6. MAGO: In English, a "rube" means a "country bumpkin"...i.e. an unsophisticated person from a rural area.

      In other words, a hillbilly.

      Or the sort of man you'll find on top of Wally.

      Delete
  20. What is Google Reader ?

    Why do I feel so inadequate and dépassé ?

    *resumes weeping*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Google Reader is a news aggregator. You subscribe or add the RSS feed or just the address, "http://theinfomaniac.blogspot.com/" for instance. It shows you all the latest posts from your favorite sites and blogs.

      Delete
    2. Ah Jon mon chere - it's not the end of the world.
      Heavens, she did not join farcebook after all!

      Delete
    3. Facebook is the devil!

      Delete
  21. Is there any truth to the rumour that MJ was ate before she was seven? Inquiring minds want to know. kabuki will always be here, whenever you need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kabuki: Mistress MJ kisses the hem of your kimono.

      Now that you are a beautician at The Hair Hall of Fame, I insist that you work from the chair next to me.

      Delete
  22. I refuse to believe this.

    But then, I found hat nay posting every couple of days took a hell of a lot of heat off.

    Just stay on touch, and remember, you are an assistant manager at the HHoF. And that is a lifetime appointment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like in the mafia ... so she's a "made woman" now?

      Delete
    2. COOKIE: Hat nay?

      Are you speaking Pig Latin?

      Mistress MJ takes her duties as assistant manager of The Hair Hall of Fame very seriously.

      You won’t find me giving blowjobs in the break room like that slacker AyeM8y.

      Delete
    3. As long as there is a blow dryer involved in some way then it's perfectly legal.

      Delete
    4. AYEM8Y: It all comes down to semantics.

      Or should I say SEMENtics?

      Delete
    5. My, such cunning linguistics! I cunt imagine a world without THE Infomaniac!

      Delete
    6. COOKIE: I'm presently trying to construct a sentence using the words philatelist and fellatio but I can't seem to get my tongue around it.

      Delete
  23. Are you still tired? Asking for a friend

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Already withdrawal symptoms, kabuki-san? It will get worse, there will be hundred-comment-gaps ...

      Delete
    2. She's not tired, she's fried!

      Delete
    3. kabuki, Mago & Huggy Jon: Blogging interferes with my “women in outer space films” marathon.

      Seriously…do you want to be held responsible if Mistress MJ misses Zsa Zsa Gabor in “Queen of Outer Space?”

      Delete
  24. You lazy tart,too much of the party life no doubt. Old Knudsen has shown that you don't need a liver to blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OLD KNUDSEN: And as Jorge Mario Bergoglio has proven, you don’t need two lungs to be Pope.

      Delete
  25. Oh! Jeez, don't like the sounds of that. But, a major thank you MJ on behalf of the countless silent fans ("or "lurkers") of The Infomaniac is in order! Secondly, a sigh of relief that it's not goodbye yet. You've proven beyond doubt that your delicious wit is fartful and masterly. Go forth now, and get paid for it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RILEY: Good to hear from you!

      I'm glad you didn't get swept away in the west coast wind storm.

      Delete
  26. BITCHES: Be sure to visit Infomaniac on Saturday, March 23.

    Mistress MJ feels a post coming on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Cohen, I would have gone with this.

      Delete
    2. Kay Dee!!!


      When are people gonna let the singer finish the song before they start screaming.... bitches!

      Delete
  27. I will bake a special cake in celebration :-)
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did someone mention CAKE?

      Delete
    2. Oh sure! Now that Mistress have ditched us, she thinks we're gonna come crawling the moment she summons us...

      Well, if there's gonna be cake...

      Delete