Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Winner of The Butchest Bitch Competition!

So who’s the butchest Infomaniac bitch?

She’s a WOMAN, Bitches! W-O-M-A-N!

“See the coat. The coat is made of horsehide. See the gloves. They are made of goatskin. See the hat. The hat is made of 100% Australian wool felt. See the plugs. They are made of Indonesian buffalo horn. See the cigars. They are made of cheap. Add a Native American in jeans, Docs and a black tank top and you have what FirstNations wears on pretty much a daily basis."

Congratulations, Ms. First Nations! YOU are the butchest bitch!!!

Actual quote from Ms. Nations when this contest was proposed…

“I so have this one knocked....
*scratches match on beard stubble, lights cigar* oh yeah.”

Actual quote from Ms. Nations on voting day…

“Everyone seems to be overawed by the mere thought of competing with the powerful 'butch' rays emanating from my butchness. As well you should be! *stands atop pile of burning harleys firing a gun and drinking warm elk blood*”

Thanks to all of you Bitches who did your manly best to assert your inner butch.

All you Bitches who lost … to a WOMAN!


  1. Yeah, yeah, yeah! He's a she!


  2. Congratulations Ms Nations...

  3. well done, first nations! xoxoxox

  4. First Nations for President!

  5. Ms First Nations Congratulations!

    I knew you had this competition licked generally all over... with that sandpaper tongue of yours!
    What did ya win? A free grease and oil change?

    I bow before the high priestess of Butch!

  6. Congratulations to the Butchest Bitch!

    Well done Ms Nations!

    I am so proud. PROUD. To have won this major award! I just hope it's a leg lamp!
    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to change Princess' oil and rotate her tires. XXOO!

    Who got silver, bronze and tinfoil?

    1. GOLD: First Nations.

      SILVER: AyeM8y tied with Mr. Peenee.

      BRONZE: Everybody else.

      Apparently, Mr. Peenee's cat is incredibly butch. No one seems to have noticed Peenee's MONKEY WRENCH which was submitted for entry but rather his cat, Saki.

    2. It may be a monkey wrench to The Mistress, but it's Saki To Me!

  8. congratulations first nations!

    now, go put your strap-on
    back onand strike a pose.

  9. Congrats to the butch-tastic Miss First Nations!!

  10. I'm heading to the theater this weekend, can Ms. FirstNations be my personal security? Wear that jacket. Really all those Broadway gays pushing and shoving at the stage door (hee hee backdoor) I need protection.

  11. Only if I can go strapped. According to Normadesmond, I can go strapped any number of ways. And I would. Nothing repels a Broadway gay more effectively than a leather-jacketed woman with big tits, a gun, and a raging silicone hardon down one leg...I always say. Just huck me a beer and a cigar every now and then, and as long as we're not going in to see Cats or Les Miserables' is ku.

  12. Groveling congratulations to Miss FN. There is nothing butcher than a butch Lady, especially one with a warm elk blood cocktail at hand.

    Saki would like to say "Thank you."

  13. Miss FirstNations vs Bea Arthur? No contest. Jx

  14. ..yeah no shit. That bitch takes my lunch money every day *snif*

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  16. Congratulations FirstNations. A Worthy winner.

  17. "Oh butch bitch, butch bitch,
    let's scratch the itch together"

    Congratulayshons! Först Nayshons!

  18. Oh I could never be as butch as a women. Anyone who can unblock the toilet, hoover the stairs, and knit a horrible waistcoat...all before lunch on the same day, and while suffering with a cold. Such a person has reserves of strength beyond the dreams of men. But not women.

  19. Congratulations Ms Nations!!!
    Does this mean I won Kevin?

  20. I'd like to say that I'm not bitter at all, and that the winning entry is a very........fuck it, I'm so bitter!