Thursday, February 25, 2010

Men Who Pee Sitting Down



Fellas:

Do you pee standing up? You’re a stehpinkeln.

Or do you pee sitting down? Then you’re a sitzpinkler.



MAPSU (Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up) is an organization of “concerned individuals who want to stop peeing standing up, support the victims (those who have to clean up), and prevent unnecessary urine stream fragmentation.”

Urine stream fragmentation? Is this an issue in your household?





The WC Ghost is a voice-alarm that shames German men from standing to pee at the toilet.
"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating (former) Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.



WC Ghost


So tell us…

Is one method of peeing preferable to another? Is there any advantage in sitting to pee over standing to pee?

If you’ve always done it one way, try it another. Right now! And get back to us with the results.




Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in February Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ may not be responding personally to all your comments.

54 comments:

  1. i am so not pleased with this turn of events

    ReplyDelete
  2. I never miss an opportunity to sit down. Of course I never use a public facility. As in never. You never know what type of scuzz might be involved. In an emergency I just push the door open with my foot and pee into the mens room. What? Superstars are allowed. Look it up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. XL: gold

    Or in this case, golden.

    JASON: yes.

    Inconclusive!

    We need evidence.

    KABUKI: i am so not pleased with this turn of events

    Have we displeased the Superstar?

    KABUKI: I never miss an opportunity to sit down. Of course I never use a public facility. As in never. You never know what type of scuzz might be involved. In an emergency I just push the door open with my foot and pee into the mens room. What? Superstars are allowed. Look it up.

    Mistress MJ should be hired by Cirque du Soleil…such is her acrobatic performance whilst hovering over a public toilet seat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Or in this case, golden"

    golden shower

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think there should be more inventions which teach us how to urinate. This brings to mind the great toilet seat debate. Up? Down? Madness!

    ReplyDelete
  6. XL: My point exactly!

    ROB: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    A fellow Canuck, no less.

    As rare as hen’s teeth on this blog, I tell you.

    How about that hockey game tonight, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  7. All I have to say is:

    Canada - 7
    Russia - 3

    YAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

    Most excellent game, wouldn't you say MJ?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. NWTRUNNER: I'll drink to that!

    And now if you'll kindly answer our urine questions?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would never sit down in any public restroom. Ever.

    At home I sit. It's just more comfy that way.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Have you ever tried sitting down in a urinal ????
    This is madness

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr Beastie sits down in his fruit bowl.
    *sniggers*
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's more fun to pee standing up. It also makes it so much easier to write names and art in the snow.

    ReplyDelete
  13. As anyone that has ever had to clean a bathroom/toilet will tell you, there is one massive advantage to sitting rather than standing.

    I am referring of course to the 'yellow mist' which, just like the 'red mist' when someone is bludgeoned or shot, is a very fine mist of the golden stuff (or orange, or green or whatever you've been drinking recently) and is almost invisible to the naked eye.

    It gets everywhere in and around the toilet bowl/urinal (try urinating with naked legs and you'll feel it) and is what makes the toilet so messy after several months of use necessitating the cleaning ritual.

    Then there is the old adage, so true, that no matter how many times you shake it the last drop always runs down your legs (and on the floor).

    (But then there is the 'morning glory' problem, in which neither the standing nor the sitting methods supply the solution and ideas need to be forthcoming pronto.)

    However and in conclusion miludd, I would advocate sitting down as the preferable method no matter what your gender.

    On a side note and slightly unrelated to this, having dormed with groups of women I have never seen bathrooms left in such a minging state as when women have been using one unattended over several days.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I used to work with a bunch of constructions workers. We had to share one toilet.

    I've paddled around in about 8 men's DNA. It's not a happy place.

    Sit! Sit!

    ReplyDelete
  15. well, ok then. around here, it was always: need the seat up? put it up. need the seat down? put it down. everyone took turns cleaning the bathrooms, so it was in their own best interest not to be messy! not a clever answer, i know, but y'all did ask a question of serious proportion! xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Roses: I've paddled around in about 8 men's DNA.

    8 men's DNA. Mmmm.

    It's not a happy place.

    I think you've still got some work to do on this "gay man in a woman's body" thing ;-).

    ReplyDelete
  17. They may pee sitting down in Germany, but in France they take a dump standing up. And in Russia they do it standing on their heads.

    I know it's true because some bloke told me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. CYBERPOOF: I would never sit down in any public restroom. Ever.
    At home I sit. It's just more comfy that way.


    You read the entire “Sims 3 Prima Official Game Guide” on the toilet, didn’t you?

    BEAST: Have you ever tried sitting down in a urinal ????
    This is madness


    See comment from Miss Scarlet.

    SCARLET: Mr Beastie sits down in his fruit bowl.
    *sniggers*


    That would account for his rotting banana, Miss Scarlet!

    EROS: It's more fun to pee standing up. It also makes it so much easier to write names and art in the snow.

    Names AND art?

    You must have a particularly strong urine flow!

    MOB: As anyone that has ever had to clean a bathroom/toilet will tell you, there is one massive advantage to sitting rather than standing.
    I am referring of course to the 'yellow mist' which, just like the 'red mist' when someone is bludgeoned or shot, is a very fine mist of the golden stuff (or orange, or green or whatever you've been drinking recently) and is almost invisible to the naked eye.
    It gets everywhere in and around the toilet bowl/urinal (try urinating with naked legs and you'll feel it) and is what makes the toilet so messy after several months of use necessitating the cleaning ritual.
    Then there is the old adage, so true, that no matter how many times you shake it the last drop always runs down your legs (and on the floor).
    (But then there is the 'morning glory' problem, in which neither the standing nor the
    sitting methods supply the solution and ideas need to be forthcoming pronto.)
    However and in conclusion miludd, I would advocate sitting down as the preferable method no matter what your gender.
    On a side note and slightly unrelated to this, having dormed with groups of women I have never seen bathrooms left in such a minging state as when women have been using one unattended over several days.


    Great. One more thing to fear…

    “Yellow mist”.

    You seem to be very knowledgeable about pee, Mr. Mob.

    Is this a hobby of yours?

    ROSES: I used to work with a bunch of constructions workers. We had to share one toilet.
    I've paddled around in about 8 men's DNA. It's not a happy place.
    Sit! Sit!


    See comment from Kapitano.

    SAVANNAH: well, ok then. around here, it was always: need the seat up? put it up. need the seat down? put it down. everyone took turns cleaning the bathrooms, so it was in their own best interest not to be messy! not a clever answer, i know, but y'all did ask a question of serious proportion!

    That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard so far.

    *casts sideways glances at everyone else, especially Beast*

    KAPI: @Roses: I've paddled around in about 8 men's DNA.
    8 men's DNA. Mmmm.
    It's not a happy place.
    I think you've still got some work to do on this "gay man in a woman's body" thing ;-).


    We need to take Miss Roses aside for a lesson or two.

    KAPI: They may pee sitting down in Germany, but in France they take a dump standing up. And in Russia they do it standing on their heads.
    I know it's true because some bloke told me.


    After learning about this, I simply must refuse to imagine a Russian with the squirts.

    ReplyDelete
  19. russians shit out of their mouths. i've even dabbed a few mouth corners with cottonelle.

    ReplyDelete
  20. NORMADESMOND: russians shit out of their mouths. i've even dabbed a few mouth corners with cottonelle.

    This is precisely why Mistress MJ keeps Wet Wipes at hand at all times, Ms. Desmond.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Tazzy sits down to pish.

    Which shouldn't come as a surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  22. PIGGY: Tazzy sits down to pish.
    Which shouldn't come as a surprise.


    And he uses your sleeve to wipe.

    Which also doesn’t come as a surprise.

    PIGGY: You just empty a bag, don't you?

    Piss off.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I sit to pee at toiled bowl but stand for urinals and wash hand basins.

    ReplyDelete
  24. TICKERS: I sit to pee at toiled bowl but stand for urinals and wash hand basins.

    Well as I live and breathe, if it isn’t Mr. Tickers!

    We thought you’d been involved in some bizarre accident involving a brassiere.

    ReplyDelete
  25. No. It is knowledge born out of necessity and an enquiring mind.

    And no one pointed out my 'deliberate' spelling mistake. You all disappointed me :(

    And yesterday XL shouldn't have said 'Gold' XL should have said 'Gooey'. Or Panopea generosa

    And Miss Rose Petals won't find much DNA in urine, so she needn't have worried. It degrades too quickly to be of much significance. She simply should have bought a pair of wellies, such as those thoughtfully displayed on this blog several days ago.

    And no one has provided the solution to the 'morning glory' problem. I guess I'll have to think of it myself again *sigh*. If I want a job doing properly I always have to do it myself, as the actress said to the bishop.

    ReplyDelete
  26. p.s.

    And just to be clear, when I refer to a 'job' I am not speaking in terms of toilet activities, or referring to something that a Scotsman would refer to e.g. "Ah lurked in ma shur and sormone had durn a beeg jorbbeh innit!"
    No. I refer of course to some work that needs doing.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Um, no......

    I can't believe you remember that I read that book! I'm shocked to find that you actually do read my blog and not just post random comments to keep me coming here.

    Wow!

    ReplyDelete
  28. MOB: No. It is knowledge born out of necessity and an enquiring mind.
    And no one pointed out my 'deliberate' spelling mistake. You all disappointed me :(
    And yesterday XL shouldn't have said 'Gold' XL should have said 'Gooey'. Or Panopea generosa
    And Miss Rose Petals won't find much DNA in urine, so she needn't have worried. It degrades too quickly to be of much significance. She simply should have bought a pair of wellies, such as those thoughtfully displayed on this blog several days ago.
    And no one has provided the solution to the 'morning glory' problem. I guess I'll have to think of it myself again *sigh*. If I want a job doing properly I always have to do it myself, as the actress said to the bishop.


    A bit cranky, aren’t you?

    Is it that time of the month?

    MOB: p.s.
    And just to be clear, when I refer to a 'job' I am not speaking in terms of toilet activities, or referring to something that a Scotsman would refer to e.g. "Ah lurked in ma shur and sormone had durn a beeg jorbbeh innit!"
    No. I refer of course to some work that needs doing.


    I have some work that needs doing ‘round here.

    Please get this pinny on you and get down on your hands and knees and scrub this kitchen floor.

    CYBERPOOF: Um, no......
    I can't believe you remember that I read that book! I'm shocked to find that you actually do read my blog and not just post random comments to keep me coming here.
    Wow!


    And I can’t believe you read “The Sims 3 Prima Official Game Guide”.

    So we’re even.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ever been to a house with more than one lady residing and you go into the bathroom to do some business cause there is a lack of potted plants around, you lift the seat and there is a enough "fragmentation" evidence on the bottom of the seat to scrape off with a knife? it's quite understandable with their high volume, high pressure systems that there would be some splash back...
    and for the men if yer ma didn't teach you to wipe the rim of the bowl when yer done, yer a filthy dog...

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm not cranky. I'm never cranky. Except those times when I am.

    Not doing anything unless you wear your kinky boots again.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Indeed, Inner Voices speaks the truth.

    What say thee now Mistress Michael Jackson?

    ReplyDelete
  32. VOICES: ever been to a house with more than one lady residing and you go into the bathroom to do some business cause there is a lack of potted plants around, you lift the seat and there is a enough "fragmentation" evidence on the bottom of the seat to scrape off with a knife? it's quite understandable with their high volume, high pressure systems that there would be some splash back...
    and for the men if yer ma didn't teach you to wipe the rim of the bowl when yer done, yer a filthy dog...


    Stay out of my potted plants.

    That’s all I ask.

    MOB: I'm not cranky. I'm never cranky. Except those times when I am.
    Not doing anything unless you wear your kinky boots again.


    My kinky boots will leave a footprint on your arse if you don’t get busy with that job!

    MOB: Indeed, Inner Voices speaks the truth.
    What say thee now Mistress Michael Jackson?


    I’d say it’s time you both had a good spanking.

    ReplyDelete
  33. **brings own studded paddle to mjs back door, wonders where the line for spankings begin**

    ReplyDelete
  34. All the worlds a stage, and I fell into the orchestra pit.

    And why have none of you answered any of my questions?

    And I had an idea for the 'morning glory' problem, but it has its drawbacks.

    ReplyDelete
  35. VOICES: **brings own studded paddle to mjs back door, wonders where the line for spankings begin**

    How many times do I have to tell you?

    My back door is not for deliveries!

    MOB: All the worlds a stage, and I fell into the orchestra pit.
    And why have none of you answered any of my questions?
    And I had an idea for the 'morning glory' problem, but it has its drawbacks.


    Unlike you, perhaps some of our readers have work to do!

    MOB: Inner Voices, you said 'MJ's back door' *snigger*

    Yes, we heard him the first time, thank you very much.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Be merciful as thou thy weapon wield:
    Not quick, but slow, and so this flesh will yield.
    Oh!
    Ah!
    By all the gods!
    I am impaled!
    You have cut me to the quick!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Yeah I do sit to pee...

    Due to the fact my cock is pierced and it has been known to spray a fine stream of stray piss... so to save any embarrassment... and not to piss on my leg... I sit to pee!

    ReplyDelete
  38. MOB: Be merciful as thou thy weapon wield:
    Not quick, but slow, and so this flesh will yield.
    Oh!
    Ah!
    By all the gods!
    I am impaled!
    You have cut me to the quick!


    If we prick you, do you not bleed?

    TAZZY: Yeah I do sit to pee...
    Due to the fact my cock is pierced and it has been known to spray a fine stream of stray piss... so to save any embarrassment... and not to piss on my leg... I sit to pee!


    We’ll need photographic evidence of said cock piercing.

    Not that we’ve grown bored with looking at your arse, mind.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I forgot to zip up.
    Woe Is Me, For I Am Undone

    Far-called our navies melt away –
    On dune and headland sinks the fire –
    Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
    Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Touché!

    I have ordered the second installment.

    Also I second the request for photos of Tazzys pierced cock. I wonder how big it is..

    ReplyDelete
  41. **mills around innocently waiting for his chance**

    ReplyDelete
  42. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sorry to hear that Tazzy had an accident with the nail gun.

    ReplyDelete
  44. sitting down to pee?

    how very british....I bet Knudsen sits down to pee...heh

    ReplyDelete
  45. Has anyone seen Robin by any chance? I told him off last week for eating too much chocolate before bedtime, and I haven't seen him since.
    Oh well. Perhaps he's down the old peoples home getting tips on how to pick up women from Alfred.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Robin the Boy Wonder7:25 PM, February 25, 2010

    D3AR BATMAN
    I JUST WANTAD 2 L3T U KNOW TAHT U HAEV COMPLET3LEY RUIEND MAH LIEF!!!1!11!1 OMG WTF IF U HAD A CLUA U B DANG3ROS!1!!1111! WTF LOL I HAEV HAD SHOK TH3RAPY 2 TRY 2 FORG3T UR EXISTENC3 B/C U HAEV CRITICIEZD ME ON3 2 MANY TIEMS!!!1! LOL I HAEV SOM3TIEMS LOKED TEH OTH3R WAY WHICH MAEKS MAALMOST AS DUMB AS U !!1!11!1! OMG WTF THES TIEM U HAEV THROWN DA BABY OUT WIT TEH BATHW8R !!!1!1!11 WTF I HAEV N3V3R SHIRK3D MAH R3SPONSIBILITY 2 TEL U TAHT U R FUL OF SHIT!111!!111 OMG U WUD B SO MUCH BTER OF IF U WUD JUST LAY OF OF DA HOCH!1111 LOL U MUST B TEH PRODUCT OF INBREDNG !!!!1 OMG LOL U R A DUMBAS!1!!11!1 OMG WTF IT SI TIEM FOR U 2 GET A NU PSYCHIATRIST PREFARABLEY ONE TAHT ACTUALY GRADUAETD !!!1!1 WTF LOL LET THES ALSO S3RV3 AS NOTIEC TAHT AL FUTUR3 VISITS HAEV B3N CANC3L3D AS I HAEV 2 WASH MAH HARE!!1!!!1! OMG
    PIS OF U 2TAL PSYCHO
    ROBIN

    PS PLZ DO NOT R3PLEY BAK THEIR SI A RESTRANENG ORD3R AGANEST U AND I NED TIEM 2 CUT UR FAEC OUT OF EVERY FMILEY PHO2
    !!!1111! WTF LOL

    ReplyDelete
  47. Morning Wood - kabuki wakes up, looks around and declares 'rub one out? I wouldn't have even slept here if it weren't for the drugs and restraints. I shan't upgrade this horror-box with my goodness. Me and Mr. happy shall seek better accomodations immediately!' Then I put on my glasses and realize I am at home. sad.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Now, that IS a lot of toilet talk!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Standing up!

    It’s my right and privilege as the superior sex.

    I sometimes wake up and just pee out the window.

    Besides peeing while sitting is for sissies.

    My grandmother once said about Liberace, “He looks like he wears lace panties and has to sit down to wee wee”.

    ReplyDelete
  50. F*CK YOU BLOGGER error 503

    Okay where was I..
    NFW!
    This would be impossible in a designated Men's public washroom end of discussion.

    ReplyDelete