Thursday, June 12, 2008

I’m Looking Through You

When you fly, would you prefer to pass through a body scanner or have a pat-down?

Now you can choose.

A new full-body scanner booth being tested by the U.S. government as a replacement for airport metal detectors can see through the clothing of passengers.

The booths emit "millimetre waves" that go through cloth to identify metal, plastics, ceramics, chemical materials and explosives.

It allows the security screeners -- in a separate room -- to clearly see the passenger's sexual organs as well as other details of their bodies, but the face is blurred to protect the passenger’s privacy, said the Transport Safety Authority.

And to prevent security officers from printing themselves a copy of naked passengers for their own pleasure, the images will not be stored.

Yeah, right.


  1. Whatchoo talkin 'bout Willis?

    Too late. $130 Oil will make flying too expensive for most people and put a lot of the Airlines out of business.

    The only thing that those workers will be scanning is the help wanted ads.

  2. DONN: And a big thank you goes out to Air Canada as soon any bag over 23 kilograms will cost passengers $100, instead of the usual $50.

    And a third bag on any Air Canada domestic or international will cost a whopping $225.

  3. what if you can already fly? because i can. just like Lisa Bonet. i can just forgo the scanner, right? the only thing im carrying are bibles for needy canadian children and a raging yeast infection.

  4. NATIONS: Have you confused Canadians with Candidiasis again?

  5. I dunno... blow up or have the worry of my tired ass being on Youtube.

    Take my ass. I don't care.

  6. BOXER: Don't you recall how I told you to buy a tub of Tired Old Ass Soak?

    Do none of you listen to a word I say?

  7. *puts pipe back in pocket, as he was told and opts for the pat down*

    "i'll take the pat down please for a hundred dollars alex..."

  8. I was suppose to SOAK in it?

    Oh crap.

    Now you tell me.

  9. Well, this doesn't concern me as I've got Broom.

    Although I do like to visit the airport now and again just for the pat down!

  10. I don't mind having Pat down on me, but I refuse the damn scanner! Not because I'm opposed to security masturbating on the job, but rather, I refuse to get nut cancer from radiation to the groin!

    As for Pat, I can only see her right hand with a finger on the mouse button...where's the other hand?

  11. Can I just ask for MJ to frisk me - and she can do so wherever she wishes!

    Then we can go for a good Cuban cigar and a fine single malt... And I'd listen to every word that you say....

    Okay, maybe just most of them. Some of them?

  12. I can see why precausions are in place to eliminate the chance of printing out copies of those scans ... them are some real sexy pictures! Is that a gun I see or you just happy to be scanned?

  13. Nobody stuffs me in a microwave!

  14. This means that my electric throb thrumm vibrator will be discovered by pesky officialdom.

    This is a shame because it always brightens up the pilots day when it interferes with the avionic systems. The hostesses will also be peeved.

  15. Was that a man or a woman in the top shot. It had boobs in the frontal, but the face was...well..manish.

    So much for not seeing the face....

  16. I loved X-Ray Specs, and bought all their records.

  17. VOICES: I took “Pat Down” for one hundred
    And then my head started to spin
    Well, I'm givin' up Don Pardo
    Just tell me now what I didn't win, yeah, yeah
    I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
    I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)

    BOXER: What did you do with the Tired Old Ass Soak?

    Drink it?

    IVD: I’ve never understood your need for Car when you have Broom.

    EROS: You know very well that you can’t bring fruit or nuts across the border so you’ll have to leave your nuts at home.

    NWT: Bribery!

  18. PRACTICALLYJOE: The Blue Man Group aren’t as fit as they used to be.

    MAGO: “Nobody stuffs me in a microwave!”

    Isn’t that a line from “Dirty Dancing”

    GARFY: I’m confiscating your vibrator.

    You’ll get it back at the end of the flight.


    DORA: Do you suspect moobs?

    FROBI: Were you a Germ Free Adolescent?

  19. Dirty dancing? Stoneage eh? There was no microwave around that time. Maybe even food was not invented They lived from coke at those days.

  20. I don't think people seeing my FACE is my concern with this machine of the fuuuuture.

    The computer needs to put a fig leaf over people's bits.

  21. They'll be able to tell at a glance...

    "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

  22. you know how workers in chocolate factories go off chocolate .. will the scanner ops go off bodies?

  23. what a joke! and an expensive one at that..and who ultimately pays for it? the taxpayers...and we can't even afford to fly anymore! bastids...


  24. MAGO: “They lived from coke at those days.”

    Didn’t we all?

    *assumes world weary Stevie Nicks attitude*

    T-BIRD: You wouldn’t want anyone to see your little mouth, would you?

    GEOFF: Ba-dum-DAH!

    BITTERSWEET: “will the scanner ops go off bodies?”

    Not yours, that’s for sure!

    SAVANNAH: I went off flying when they started charging for roasted peanuts.

    Greedy bastards.

  25. What if you use yer rectum as a holster? would anyone want to pull a sig out of my hole?

  26. Noooo..... I didn't drink it..........

  27. KNUDSEN: They’d have to pull the fag out of your hole first.

    BOXER: You didn’t use the ass soak as an enema, did you?

    KNUDSEN & BOXER: You two posted at exactly the same time.

    I suspect something's going on between the two of you that you're not telling me about.

  28. There is no way in hell I'm getting into one of those things.

    Just look at that womans arse. Oh boy. Not a good angle.

    The male scan has a nice package no?

  29. I'm glad these people have thought of not storing the images so no one can take pleasure from them. Have they thought of genetic mutations from being microwaved?? Huh?

    I hope you will not be using these devices on Infomaniac Airlines. We can all just strip down for you and you can have a look...But I wouldn't look in Knudsen's hole if I were you.

  30. CYBERPOOF: And then there’s poor IVD who has no arse to speak of at all.

    RANDOM: Knudsen keeps illegal immigrants in there.

  31. I don't think I want my fat rolls on display.


  32. I'm sure the fellas down at the docks manage just fine though

  33. DIVA: I predict a new wave of liposuction treatments before people go off on vacation.

    CYBERPOOF: I wonder if it's true that "Broom" makes up for what's lacking in the back.

  34. Little mouth and rolls of unsightliness are things only for private audiences!

  35. T-BIRD: They'll get you whens you're eating.

    I have no idea what I'm saying here, by the way.

  36. I can see that's you in the first photo, but you certainly have gained weight subsequently...

  37. how many volts or microwaves or whatever has this monster got? surely it will fry brains and balls in its quest to find a gun in every pocket. No this looks dangerous. I'm staying home.

  38. Never mind the weapons; what the hell is growing out of that man's left shoulder?! Clearly a result of being in that crotch nuker!

  39. I think a pat down would be much more fun.

  40. WW: How dare you?

    Do I come over to your blog and complain about the state of your kitchen?


    EMMA: Mmmmm... fried balls.

    EROS: You see?

    The mutations have already begun!

    CECILE: You dirty girl.

  41. Cocks, always so many cocks...

  42. HERGE: Is that your motto?

  43. HERGE HERGE: You filthy thing.