Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Frank and Beans




Recently, Infomaniac reported on the horrors of Todger Trauma.

We neglected to mention a common penile injury we like to call the “frank and beans incident” where your bits get stuck in your zipper.

Have you or a loved one ever got your frank and/or beans stuck in a zipper?

What to do if this happens to you?

You could apply WD-40 as pictured above, call for the Jaws of Life, or follow these simple instructions.

20 comments:

  1. Good heavens! It seems one should work in an OR to follow those instructions. And have a team of nurses on standby.

    Still, what do I care. It's never happened to me.

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  2. Yes it's happened to me and I've got the scar to prove it.

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  3. Have you or a loved one ever got your frank and/or beans stuck in a zipper?

    YES

    What to do if this happens to you?

    HOLD BACK TEARS

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  4. IVD: I’m sure it happens to your punters as they hurriedly unzip when they see you approaching the docks.

    CONNIE: Show us your battle wound.

    PIGGY: It’s one of the drawbacks (besides skidmarks) of your deviant pantless lifestyle.

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  5. I act like a man and just rip it free.

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  6. Some have it lucky - those with their wee mans hood still intact.

    When it happens to 'cut' men, it's even more painful.

    I know this fact.

    *winces*

    I said 'winces', not 'minces'.

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  7. TICKERS: Free willy!

    PIGGY: Did you say flounces?

    Or swishes?

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  8. NO! Pfft!
    Zippers are made out of brass and they are no match for Steel.

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  9. Got mine caught in an escalator once, that was painful and rather embarrassing too!

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  10. No. I said 'Struts away full of macho bravado'

    Steve - Are you sure it wasn't you high heels that were caught in the escalator?

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  11. Mine's not long enough to reach the 'danger zone'

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  12. Strictly button ups for me.

    A sheep tick did attach itself to my todger once. Most unpleasant.

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  13. What was your todger doing that near to a sheep? (As if we don't already know)

    Did you at least buy the sheep dinner and call her the next day?

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  14. Garfer meant sheep dick.

    And he has moved onto buttons having successfully got the hang of velcro.

    Well done Garfy!

    What do you do MJ,you must have a lot of experience?

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  15. It sneaked up my trouser leg (the tick, not the sheep).

    And no, I wasn't wearing lederhosen.

    We've seen photos of SID in shorts. Not a pretty sight.

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  16. hell i didn't know there were instructions...i just stood there laughing at my son...well until i fell over holding my sides...it was funny!

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  17. yup. "What do you do?"
    collapse in hysterics is what I do!

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  18. Who is frank and why is he crying?

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  19. Never been around for such an incident. Would probably offer to kiss and make it better, as long as the injured was attractive and outside the bounds of consanguinuity.

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  20. elasticated waist......no problems eh...

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