We're trying not to attract this sort...
He said he was looking for a place to party
The suspect (Chad William Forber) was naked and carrying his shorts as well as a can of Crisco.
“He had lathered himself up in Crisco. He was covered in grease, and was holding the can under his arm."
He told police he'd taken the shorts off because they were too big and wouldn't stay on.
Forber was held in jail on $40,000 bond.
We're cancelling our upcoming annual Crisco party until we're assured that none of you Bitches will behave badly.
You can be assured that Mistress MJ will not show up with bail money.
Schweineschmalz: German for party in a tub!
ReplyDeleteLX: I’ve lost my appetite since clicking on your link yet I shall attempt a translation from German to English…
DeleteParty Lard!
Pig fat (lard) with goldenbrown bacon cracklings, roasted onions, apples and herbs.
We called them "Creton"! Yummy
DeleteHUGGY JON: Did someone mention our former Prime Minister?
DeleteOh Lard! *rolls eyes*
DeleteHUGGY JON: Oh, excuse me.
DeleteYou said "Creton," not "Chrétien."
It's Jean "Crétin" over here! Although, he did a few good things....
DeleteHUGGY JON: He is famous for popularizing the Shawinigan Handshake.
DeleteThey know how to have a good time in the Quad Cities.
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: This is the first time I’ve heard the term “Quad Cities.”
Delete"Tri Cities" ... yes. "Quad Cities"...no.
Perhaps I should get out more often.
i think they may be "quad" because each,
Deleteon their own, is lame-town personified.
NORMA: You are going straight to hell for that comment.
Delete*titters behind sleeve*
You mean Mistress hasn't enjoyed the charms that Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf? Well, charm and Bettendorf are seldom said together. But it is some place one can go to, but not when the Mississippi is at or nearing flood stage.
DeleteMJ: oh goody!
DeleteI've just Googled "Quad Cities" (obviously I have some time on my hands) to find that it's home to the world's largest truck stop.
DeleteI'm putting it on my bucket list.
FIRST to say first!
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: LX is slipping.
DeleteI concur with the Earl of Downton, "it's a damn shame".
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a young lad my pants were too big and they wouldn't stay on. These days my pants are quite snug. Quite depressing really?
DONNNNNNNN: Welcome back!
DeleteThough I must say you’re looking a little green around the gills.
Regarding your tight pants…
Be thankful they’re snug. In Louisiana, there’s a law against saggy pants!
How'd they catch him?
ReplyDeletePerhaps his plan was to be tackled, repeatedly slipping through the brawny arms of some boys in blue...
WALLY: It’s a mystery how they slipped the cuffs on him.
DeleteWell he can't have shaved his pits... Otherwise... That can of crisco under his arm would have been out of there like a rat up drainpipe...
ReplyDeletePRINNY: Now I am imagining his sweaty armpits.
DeleteThank you VERY much, Prinny.
Then why not have a poutine party. Fill the gincuzzi with fries and cheese curds and pour some gravy and let's all take a dive in it!
ReplyDeleteHUGGY JON: I scream, you scream, we all scream for poutine!
Delete"and that just goes to show you that
ReplyDeletedrugs and baking grease never, ever, ever mix"
what the fuck do they know, that's the
basis for my award winning ding-dong cake!
NORMA: Do you always have to bring your Ding Dong into it?
Deletewouldn't you?
DeleteChrist! He's 41?! Maybe he thought the Crisco would enable people to see him in fuzzy-focus, a la vaseline on the lens, and think he actually looked his age rather than that of Chris Cringle?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was his failed attempt at a beauty regime? Jx
DeleteMR. DeVICE: Chris Cringle or CRISCO Cringle?
DeleteJON: Women in the 1700s used hog lard moisturizer and so can you!
We all can - and sing along while we do it! Jx
DeleteJON: If it was good enough for Good Queen Bess.
DeleteJeez...can't a guy make holiday cookies in peace?
ReplyDeleteJASON: Do you represent the Lard Marketing Board?
DeletePeople cover themselves in lard all the time when swimming the English Channel. Perhaps he's training to swim the Alantic Ocean, therefore he should be applauded for his daring feat not held in prison with a $40,000 bond. It's a bit extreme.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: When David Walliams met the Queen, they spoke about his charity swim across the English Channel: "She said: 'Were you covered in lard?' I said 'Yes, but it's not as much fun as it looks' and she laughed."
DeleteI'm not even touching this one, or asking any questions.
ReplyDeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: If anyone asks, we didn’t see you.
Delete