Friday, August 31, 2012

YOUR GARDEN PHOTOS!

Sit back and relax, Bitches. It's time to enjoy YOUR GARDEN PHOTOS!


[thanks, Princess!]

Let's get started, shall we?

MS. FIRST NATIONS:
1. Geezer garden sets in at Rancho FirstNations!...

A 5.00 broken down rototiller is given pride of place in the perennial border, joining a fleet of Tonkas, numerous deceased yard and garden tools, several old beat-to-shit metal washtubs, milk cans and items of cookware, a tricycle, two kids' wagons, a bowling ball and pin, a scattering of 'Red Rose Tea' figurines, and about a ton of broken basalt needles. Next year we're thinking of buying an inbred kid to sit in the front yard for that 'authentic country' touch.

2. Nope, sorry to dissappoint you; it's only tomatoes...

The Biker designed a clever, low-buck hothouse shelter from PVC pipe, zip ties, a plastic painters' tarp and a bunch of cheapo spring clamps from Harbor Freight. Total cost 30.00...reusable, take-downable, and tomato-friendly!

MR. PEENEE:
You know those people who fill up their houses with "collectibles" of questionable worth and garbage they can't bring themselves to throw away, the Hoarders of quease-inducing TV shows? I am a Plant Hoarder. I have stuffed my yard with more plants than any sensible person would consider. I continue to go to the marked-down section of the nursery and then, once I'm home with several new shrubs, start to wonder where they're all going to go. Since I live in San Francisco, even annuals like pansies and carnations refuse to die, so I have to squeeze them in, too.

I refuse to get help.
















COOKIE:
Alas, this amazing collage of color is all I can contribute of the garden. The heat killed most of the Ohio yard and frankly with moving, we didn't put that much into the landscaping.

But the attached image is of the concord grapes at our new house. Yup, this is what grapes look like in their infancy...



Though beautiful, grapes are toxic for dogs, so the grapes will have to go. The colors will get splashed about the kitchen, though!


KABUKI ZERO:
rocks with sand…



DESIGNING WALLY:
Although not as aesthetically pleasing as my NYC garden was, I must say that this one tastes much better. The ironic thing is that the garden itself is the reason that I haven't had time to take any decent photos of it, after all the caring & harvesting, the only time I find to take a picture is after dark when I am preparing to cook, can or freeze. These are just a few snaps of my bounty.

Cherokee Purple tomatoes...



Butternut squash...



Blue Lake green beans...



and a nice spring shot of the strawberry patch...



I need to mention all those that missed their pictures took: spinach, mustard greens, mesclun and Bibb lettuce, sugar snap peas, red skin potatoes, crookneck squash, cucumbers, beets, onions, various herbs & enough cantaloupe to tip a turnip truck!

Thanks for looking, but right now I have to go put-up sixteen quarts of crushed tomatoes.


RILEY:
I live in the city so have a 60 sq. ft. deck on the fifth floor with a single potted plant on it, but these are from the cottage where we like to get dirty. Down on our hands and knees and rooting around in the soil! Here's a couple recent pics of things blooming like crazy...


And if you look closely you can spot my partner in one of the two shots on his way back from the compost bin...
(Click to enlarge)



THOMBEAU:
I started gardening at my parents' place, outside of Chicago, in 2006. Took a few years off when I was in Portland, during which the entire yard went to hell, and resumed working on the garden a couple of years ago. It makes the old folks happy, and helps keep me somewhat sane. Which also makes them happy!









JON (British Jon):




Our garden when we first arrived here three summers ago was basically a tip - literally - paint and cement filled the back border, and the only plant-life was a four-foot deep honeysuckle jungle and various weed trees such as sycamore (which we had the landlord chop down) and blue hibiscus (which is lovely). We rescued the situation by hacking away the honeysuckle to reveal a subsequently flourishing pear tree (5 kilos of fruit last year, more to come this) and a jasmine, and basically ploughed up the earth and mulched/fed it. Last summer the garden repaid us by bursting into colour, and this year we maintained the momentum.






2012 gave us a mild January followed by thick frost in February. That killed most things we hoped to save from the previous year, including our lovely cyclamen and most of the pelargoniums. Then from May to July, "The Great Wet" that passed for "summer" allowed the snails to take precious seedlings such as lupins, and even fully-grown blooms such as delphiniums, without our even having two consecutive days in which to sit outside and enjoy them. Our patio was littered with the bludgeoned remains of the molluscs we did manage to get!





Anyway, wet weather also brought a thick mass of blackfly aphids, which covered the hibiscus - then lo and behold an army of ladybird grubs came to the rescue. They were everywhere, and munched their way through every aphid in town. Fabulous to watch!...


Another advantage of monsoon-like weather was that the wild poppy seeds I had taken from some weeds near my office and casually thrown along the old cracked pavement by our front wall germinated - and gave a brilliant show that caused passers-by to stop and stare...


As did our Canterbury Bells. And our window-boxes. And our Union Jack bunting, and the picture of a young Queen Elizabeth in the window. Camp, us?




MITZI:
The garden hasn't changed much since the last time. ..


A peek over my neighbours fence reveals this horrible monstrosity…
(Click to enlarge)



PRINCESS:
It has been a very odd year for the garden and because I’m flat out with costumes and the Empresses recent health scare the garden over the past 12 months has become rather neglected. Every area has become overgrown with weeds and many of the plants have died either through drought, flood, extended periods of increased humidity or, for the want of some badly needed, tender loving care.

Some of the plants have managed to survive and even thrive on neglect but not very many of them. It is not looking anything like previous photos that I have sent you. You will however be pleased to know that I’ve recently employed a gardener to knock the garden back into shape.

Sadly, despite my encouragement, he won’t garden in the nude but he does do a good job for a very reasonable rate. And the Palais is starting to look like it actually has a garden once again... rather than looking somewhat like a neglected overgrown jungle of weeds!

The survivors are the Pink Tacoma, The Banana Passionfruit, the fruit trees in the orchard and the raspberry canes which are still fruiting despite the colder weather!.

Pink Tacoma...


Banana Passionfruit...


Apricot tree...


The last picture is of my grandmothers Zygocactus which has abundant flowers like this every year despite the neglect!...




TWUNTY MCSLORE:
I am a gardening beast…



MISTRESS MADDIE:
Since the Mistress doesn't garden, and lives in but a small pied de terre, I can only give direction to the gardener of the grounds as to adding artistic touches to the shrubs around here. I have no idea why the local Lady's Garden Society is ALWAYS up in such arms over the grounds? They don't even like the peppers gardener grows. When I go to market, it seems only the gays buy my produce, and one old lady who says she has sizes issues? Beats me.






DUPREE
With our busy drinking schedules this year, we're growing everything in containers this year. It's so much tidier and easier to weed and prune from either a sitting or prone position when one is not at one's best.

I did plant a leek bed, fennel bed and a half dozen Brussels sprouts in the lower garden, and there's a lovely man who lives behind the dumpster at the Home Depot who occasionally comes by to help care for those.




KATE (the late Mr. Mutley's partner):
Three and a half years ago, when I moved in, the garden was literally a thick forest of old shrubs. It's a communal garden, shared by three others. I have beaten it back to the ancient fence panels and now it makes us smile. The soil is six inches sandy above solid chalk. In dry spells especially, I dream of finding a lorry load of horse manure has been magically dug in by elves overnight.




MISTRESS MJ:
Mistress MJ’s garden is a haven for BABY BUNNIES!...



LX (Mr. LAX):
Here is my entry for the Infomaniac Gardening Extravaganza.
I do not presently have a garden or any indoor plants. This is a pic of the mondo grass in the front lawn of my previous home. It is hardy, lovely green all year, and the deer do not usually eat the stuff.
Did I win yet?




Mistress MJ thanks all the Infomaniac Bitches who participated in 2012’s garden photos EVENT (this is not a contest.) As you know, this has become an annual event here on Infomaniac (click here to see 2011 garden pics) so remember to GET GROWING in 2013!

77 comments:

  1. Oh bugger I missed this...

    See mine here Mistress MJ...

    http://2centsworthdownunder.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/my-backyard.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They’re lovely!

      Click here to see Damien’s photos.

      He must have missed the 50 reminders Mistress MJ posted.

      Delete
  2. I vote for Mistress MJ's bunny pix!*




    * I read somewhere that knowing what to kiss and when to kiss it was the key to success.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Mistress MJ reminds everyone (narrows eyes at Mr. LAX) that this is NOT a contest.

      Delete
  4. I'll take bachelor #1!

    How come is it that the best picture doesn't embiggerate when we clickerate?


    No seriously, bitches, YOU ARE ALL WINNERS!

    Hugs
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JON: Québec needs representation.

      We’ll see YOUR garden here next year.

      Delete
    2. Oh dear, since the election campaing started, everything single plants dried up on the balcony!

      Delete
    3. HUGGY JON: Only a few more days to go!

      Delete
  5. They are all lustrous! Though I am concerned about Mitzi's neighbour.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: Do you think Mitzi’s neighbours belong to a Satanic cult?

      Delete
    2. They have a familiar called Tinkerbell! I often hear them rattling a box of cat biscuits trying to coax the thing in.

      Delete
    3. MITZI: Rattling a packet of HobNobs works for me...and for Miss Scarlet.

      Delete
  6. Mistress, is there still time for Miss Scarlet to submit a pix of her bush?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...sadly it has already been de-flowered...
      Sx

      Delete
    2. Miss Scarlet’s bush is too unruly to have curb appeal.

      Delete
  7. would the owner of the green thumb
    (which is up my ass) kindly remove it!

    thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *retrieves anti-bacterial Wet Wipes*

      Delete
    2. And all this time we thought it was Norma's ear drum.

      Delete
    3. An easy mistake to make, Mistress Maddie.

      Delete
  8. They're all lovely but I'm particularly fond of Mr Peenee's garden/park with it's very own crippenesqué acid bath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: Peenee has an acid bath to match his acid tongue.

      Delete
    2. i believe he can flick it as well.

      Delete
    3. Thank you Mitz. You other two, not so much.

      Delete
    4. PEENEE: Bask in the Norma/Mistress MJ love for you.

      Delete
  9. Just wait till next year. Rocks with sand is gonna be huge!! More rocks, more sand. Kabuki gots a plan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why not go with a Japanese rock garden?

      You would look lovely seated in the Zen-like setting.

      Delete
    2. or why not hop a freight car to mars?

      Delete
    3. ♫Fly me to the moon. ♫

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. THOM: It’s all rather idyllic, isn’t it?

      I half expect one of your Sissy Boy Slap Parties to break out at any moment.

      Delete
    2. Thom, your garden calls me home, it is sublime darling!

      Delete
  11. Congratulations, green-fingered bitches! I think a nice sing-a-long is in order... Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And dearest Jon, I adored your cockel shells in the front of your house. Very nice shape and color!!!

      Delete
    2. JON: Rod, Jane and Freddy…yet another aspect of British culture I’ve missed out on.

      Although I do know about “Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men.”

      Delete
  12. Great recipe for butternut squash seen above.

    One butternut squash, cut length wise. Cull out the seeds and seed goo.
    Two cloves of garlic, peeled
    Drizzle olive oil on a jelly role pan, place the butternut squash on the sheet, cut side down, and tuck the clove of garlic into the cove of the squash.
    Drizzle olive oil on the outter skin of the squash.
    Bake at 400 degrees for forty to sixty minutes - until the skin bubbles up from the squash.

    Remove the squash, scrap out squash of the skin and place in a bowl- throw the skin away.

    Mash up the squash and the garlic. Add a quarter cup of parmesan cheese and a whole cup of blue cheese and a TBSP of minced sage, stir.

    Place in an oven safe dish and reheat at 400 for half hour.

    It is to die for. Nice counter point top a pork loin. Can be made a day ahead. ALSO makes a yummy filling for puff pastry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My recipe is very similar, except you throw the butternut squash away, mix gin and tonic together over ice, and drink liberally... Jx

      Delete
    2. are we heading into the test kitchens now?

      AM I SMELLING ANOTHER CONTEST?

      AN INFOMANIAC BAKE-OFF PERHAPS?

      Delete
    3. I have a fabulous casserole: Valium Vicodin Surprise.

      Delete
    4. COOKIE ET AL: Can butternut squash seed goo be used for anything or must it be tossed onto the compost heap?

      Norma’s “Bake-Off” idea is inspired. Let Mistress MJ sleep on it.

      Pass me a Valium Vicodin Surprise, Peenee.

      Delete
    5. peenee, if yours is the one with pimentos and a corn flake crumb topping i've had it!

      Delete
  13. Oh God! I love every minute of it. Being a gardener my self, thank you for the sweets. K

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HOLLYWOOD FOREVER, KEVIN: Welcome to Infomaniac!

      Love your party pics!

      Delete
  14. This was so great to see just as my garden is winding down for the year...standing ovation, everyone. Just overwhelmingly splendid! (Wally: I have tomato recipies.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NATIONS: Are you flirting with Wally?

      Delete
  15. Good to see you bitches working so hard to create beautiful gardens. Congratulations to all of you.
    Thanks MJ for another great annual post which is becoming perennial... (See what i did there!) Thank you... I'll be here all week

    I'm about to burst into Spring so no doubt... well hopefully... there will be some pics of this years garden survivors!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINCESS: Isn’t it a topsy turvy world?

      You spring forward just as we fall back.

      Delete
  16. I'm impressed not only with how beautiful they all are, but how tidy. All my photos are carefully edited not to show how many weeds I live with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weed? Now I know where to visit when Im out there! Your garden would make for a nice lay for the weekend, so dreamy it was. I love sleepy outdoors!

      Delete
    2. Would Mistress Maddie care to explain what he means by “a nice lay?”

      Delete
    3. A nice lay, you know to slumber in the garden, after passing out from gin.

      Delete
  17. I will say this is the biggest bunch of sex crazed, campy, green thumbed bitches I have ever seen, including the one up Norma's ass! And Mj your garden is just lovely! Althought the one bush could use a little clipping,lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Oh dear. Mistress MJ has inadvertently exposed her unruly bush. (Proving that Miss Scarlet is not the only Infomaniac Bitch who needs a trim.)

      The unruly bush was there when I moved in and it’s not only unruly, it’s ugly.

      I’d like to replace it with something more attractive but it’s a haven for rabbits, chipmunks and birds so I don’t want to upset their little hideaway.

      Delete
    2. You go MJ. That's the same reason I kept the goofy little weeping birch in my picture. YAY CRITTERS (except rats)

      Delete
  18. I can't find the comment I came here to reply to.
    *grabs HobNobs, anyway and runs for the hills*

    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps the missing comment is obscured under the unruly bush, Miss Scarlet.

      Delete
    2. I have been madly scrolling up and down and just spotted it... Yes, under the bush... a bush that will come into its own during the festive period when it will be adorned with flashing lights and chocolate money.
      Sx

      Delete
    3. MISS SCARLET: Chocolate money?...Chanukah gelt!

      Norma’s bush is full of it.

      Delete
    4. Why is there a massive space between "Miss" and "Scarlet?"

      Delete
    5. To fit in the "-tress"? Jx

      Delete
  19. Beautiful gardens all.
    I wish I could walk in each and every one of them.

    Great post Mistress, you must be exhausted... Is there any of that Vicodin casserole left???

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wonderful gardens!! Excellent post.

    I also have some well-spaced balls out front. I am hesitant now about interplanting -

    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KATE (Merry Weather): Thanks so much for your beautiful contribution.

      I’m surprised no one has taken notice of your “well-spaced balls” comment yet…teehee.

      Delete
  21. Cookies grapes are just the maddest thing i've seen in a long while... Those colours are crazy mad! I want some! Now!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah, no kidding, huh? I almost thought he'd misidentified and actually had a Beauty Bush until I biggified and looked at the leaves. What kind of grape is that, Cookie??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms. Nations, I have just reread Cookie's entry and they are CONCORD GRAPES.

      Delete
  23. They are from that famous novel "The grapes of rash" kabuki avoids them, kimonos are no place for the itchies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank goodness kabuki stepped in with the answer.

      Kabuki keeps an encyclopedia of botany under his kimono.

      Delete
  24. How fab, such a clever idea and such a great response from every one including Jon.

    Lovely.

    I am tempted to join in with your cook off.

    ttfn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to Infomaniac, Madam Arcati!

      From time to time, we here at Infomaniac like to brighten what is usually a cesspool of smut with garden photos or cooking contests.

      But rest assured you'll always find a bit of bum play here too.

      There's something for everyone!

      Your Jon is a treasure but don't tell him I said so.

      Delete
    2. A treasure. Something buried so deep that it takes a map to find it. Ta muchly. Jx

      Delete
    3. I have a copy of the A-Z so I should be fine, thank you.

      Delete