Monday, June 20, 2011

THRIFT SHOP AUCTION!

The Infomaniac Thrift Shop Auction is now underway!

You have all day today and Tuesday to place your bids.
[via]

Here’s how it works…

Do you see a photo of something you want? Great! Now leave a comment for the “seller” saying why you want the item.

The “seller” will decide who gets his/her item depending on how much he/she likes your comment.

So be witty, be charming, or just grovel…whatever it takes to make the seller sit up and take notice of you.

No money will be exchanged. These items are free and the seller will pay for the postage.

Let’s meet our “sellers” now and let’s get the bidding started!


MR. PEENEE:
An autobiography of Miss Lana Turner. The bit about Johnny Stompanato alone is worth the price.


MITZI:
"I bought these sexy playing cards about 15 years ago as a souvenir from Spain, the box is a bit tired looking but all 54 cards are in mint condition. Ideal for playing "solitaire" They are yours for a good sob story, make it extra juicy and I might throw in a surprise bonus!"


CYBERPETE:
"Is this your sheep? Now is your chance to get your sleek, slender and well manicured hands on this naughty little massage sheep. It has all the sexual requirements an Infomaniac bitch could ever want or need. The seductive smile, sexily cross-eyed and the very provoking dirty grey tail. Now is your chance to get this naughty little minx for your collection. Come on, you know you (have) want it."

CYBERPETE:
"Here's your chance to get your grubby little hands on the one of a kind, ultra exclusive SayHey Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition photo SIGNED by the wearer (CyberPete). This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that cannot be missed. Bid now, and bid high bitches."


XL:
“In honor of our busy beaver hostess MJ, a Canada fridge magnet! Approximate width 1.5 inches (35 mm). Made in China.”



NURSEMYRA:
“I'll donate a pale pink embroidered negligee with a handkerchief hem. Bust size 12B but would probably fit up to a 14C as featured in this post

NOTE: Nursemyra is referring to Australian sizes but says this will fit most sizes except you full-figured extra large gals. Here's a handy bra size converter.


DESIGNING WALLY:
"My father had an interesting life, he made things....Electronic Engineer…For the government.....From the Forties thru the Sixties, (as far as I know)....He was intellectually privy, (I don't know what that's like)..

ANYWAY....

Five original '8x'10 glossies of things that were classified in their time, (we don't know what that is like either).... Purple ink is stamped on the back of most of the photos, that command you not to share. Some handwriting, I believe, (too tired to look again)...

And a side story:

When dad died, young, in August of 1990, more than a few boxes and a couple of gizmos disappeared from the basement of our Ohio home.........There were three of us independently in the house at the time. So, you tell me.

These photos would look great framed somewhere."








MISS SCARLET:
“For the Thrift Shop, and in keeping with my position at The Infomaniac House of Beauty, I have on offer a barely used pot of Estee Lauder Double Wear Mineral Rich Loose Powder Makeup [intensity 1.0]. I have used it three times, but alas this product doesn't suit my delicate skin tone; this makeup can look heavy if not carefully applied. I hasten to add that there is no arsenic within this product and no risk of contracting leprosy through its use. *Glares at Mr Pirate*”



PRINCESS:
“Here is my offering for the Infomaniac thrift shop. They are three lovely cards of craft lace, slightly used. I have known bitches to start brawling with each other just to get their hands on these little darlings. They just don’t make lace like this any more!”



MAGO:
Two very tasteful ties or cravats. 100% polyester. At least 30 years old.
Number one: Pinkish blobs over blue-grey background; kind of "reflecting"
Number two: Timeless dessin of red and creme stripes over black background combined with squares
Both items are in excellent condition, no stains whatsoever, no burn marks.


And finally…

MISTRESS MJ:
A packet of HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum that has been gathering dust in Mistress MJ’s closet for at least a year.”



That's it.

Now, BID, Bitches, BID!!!

NOTE TO SELLERS: Make your final decision on who gets your item after I post a comment late Tuesday night (EDT) saying “Bidding has ended.” After you see that, leave a comment telling us who the lucky recipient of your item is. We ask all the sellers to have selected their winners by sometime on Wednesday.

82 comments:

  1. *tries to think of a way to charm Mr Peewee*
    Sx

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  2. I would like to place a bid on Miss Mitzi's Playing cards.

    Seeing them... stirred within me many happy memories. I had a very similar and may I say well used erm... I mean... very cherished set of similar cards of which I managed to secrete away in my bedside cabinet during my teenage years.

    There I would be, under the covers each night...torch in hand... playing solitaire for hours and hours on end. The pleasure which it bought me still causes the arousal of a smile at the memories.

    Imagine my horror one evening as I reached for my beloved nudie cards only to discover them vanished!
    I was mortified! I was sure that my secret was out and awaited with much trepidation the wrath of the Empress... thinking that she may have found them while tidying a bedroom. Nothing ever eventuated and despite much searching in other hidey-holes they never reappeared Well not until years later when helping my then married sister move house I noticed My pack of cards in a box of her belongings.

    Subtly... I picked them up and said... Oh where would you like me to put these? She replied... "Well they're yours aren't they? I nicked them from your bedside cupboard years ago... There are a few of them missing but the girls in my class at school kept the ones with the biggest dicks! You can have them back if you want them... They thought it was funny that my big brother would have a pack of dick cards... is there anything you want to tell me Princess? Still in the back of the closet I replied "I don't ever remember ever having them, you keep them... or throw them out.
    Well she kept them!
    I still miss them. So I would really love to bid for Mitzi's Cards please...
    If only to rekindle some old flames....

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  3. I am interested in Wally's #4 photo. Which Mercury launch is that?

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  4. xl - That photo is unmarked but there are several others of that launch... I'll have to dig them out again.
    He was involved with all three programs.

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  5. is the "handzoff" built on the premise of
    one not being able to chew gum and walk
    at the same time? i mastered syncing my
    chewing and pumping eons ago...

    with bazooka.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What have we got here so far?

    Miss Scarlet trying to charm Mr. … Peewee?

    Princess playing “solitaire” and coveting Mitzi’s sexy playing cards.

    XL and Wally discussing covert operations.

    Cookie pondering whether to bid or to beg. BOTH! I might add “bed” in there too if it gets you places.

    Norma writing what really amounts to a personal ad.

    Continue, Bitches!

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  7. Such wonderful things....
    But my must-have is Princess' craft lace. I must have it as I am low on cash right now & have to repair my undies to make them last...

    This lace would be perfect!

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  8. You can also sew some of that lace to your shirttail, Wally.

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  9. Dear Mr. Mago, I NEEDNEEDNEED those ties!! I seriously need them! Seriously! Those ties are the shizizzle! Long long ago back in the dim mists of time when Republicans walked the earth I, Ms. FirstNations, used to king wearing a sporty chalkstripe vest, white Arrow shirt, natty motoring cap and the all-important narrow tie. Sadly, nobody mistook me for anything other than a sad little catholic girl in a tie, but a bitch DID look good. (Particularly with the arrow crease '40's trousers, the narrow suspenders and the black wingtip shoes polished to a dangerous shine. I was nothing if not put togeddah.) Pleasepleaseplease help a broad relive those thrilling days of yesteryear (and mortify the living fuck out of my progeny) by gifting unto me those red hot smokin awesome reflective ties!!!!!
    love, peace, chicken grease XXOO

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  10. *wonders why Ms. Nations wants more crap when she already hoards pens and pencils and weird shit off the sidewalk*

    *Tempted to bid on Mago's ties simply to rile up Ms. Nations*

    Does that bust of Lenin come as a bonus with the ties, Mago?

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  11. Does the HandzOff work? Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."

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  12. Herr Mago's ties are apparently from East Germany!

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  13. @XL: Would I be flogging it off on someone else if it worked?

    And how do you have insider information about Herr Mago's cravats?

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  14. "American Mariner" truely looks better on wally's photograph than today, strange enough that the wreck is still afloat ...
    Interesting what they had built on it - at first sight I thought they'd test an old Wuerzburg-Geraet, but that's of course nonsense. She was a missile tracking ship. The comrades would have paied a good price for this photograph ...

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  15. Thanks for the info, Herr Mago.

    Ms. Nations could put that wreck in her backyard and turn it into a planter.

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  16. Thanks Mango, that filled in some blanks for me....
    The bulk of Dad's work was perfecting tracking & guidance... One of his projects lead directly to the patriot missile guidance system. The first photo is of a very early laser tracking device.

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  17. Oooh... The Cravats from German Este... They are from a land and time that no longer exists...Like Czechoslovakian Chrystal and Ceylon Tea... Surely that should increase the bidding? Rare Relics from the past!!!
    Like the Merkin of Mesopotamia...

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  18. @ Wally... And here I was thinking that first photo was a prototype for "Optimus Prime"

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  19. I'll try this again...

    Is the bust of Lenin included with the ties?

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  20. *jumps up and down excitedly*

    Please, please, please can I have Cyberpete's sheep?!

    Please, please, please?

    I'll thrown in a Cosmopolitan and raise you White Russian.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am not sure about the origin of the items.
    I DO have an Hungarian cravat but can not put it up here - getting rid of it would actually be dangerous, have to wear it when meeting some people ...
    I always wanted a blinking cravat, but found none.

    Some Thrift Store Music?

    So you want cravats, FN ...

    ReplyDelete
  22. The bust of the Great Leader wheighs roughly 10 kilogramm - porto would be astronomic: No, it's not included.
    All you can have are colourful polyester ropes for around your neck.


    [If you want I can look for busts of Marx, Engels, Stalin and maybe Chrustchow. Mao could be an option.]

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  23. I'm a BIG fan of magnets from foreign lands. I have a few of them by now, and who can resist a nice hairy beaver teasing big wood.

    XL, I sure can't!

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  24. Now that I'm bidding, I might as well also bid for the arsenic laced Estee Lauder powder from Miss Scarlet and her Infomaniac House of Beauty.

    I'm sure it's JUST what I need for for my Mommy Dearest impersonation evenings. Glass of Champagne in one hand and wire hanger in the other.

    Please?

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  25. Sheep! Sheep! Sheep!

    I want it baaaaaaaad!

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  26. Will Miss MJ be bidding on any of our fine items?

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  27. Bwahahahahaha Roses!

    Hold your horses, errrr sheep?

    You'll have to wait until the end of the auction darling.

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  28. Say Mr. Peenee, this interesting book of the great Lana Turner, well ... it's all in there - I mean all pages?
    Say Mr. Peenee, do you like ties?

    A round of Canasta, Mitzi?

    How did you name the sheep, Pete?

    What a cuty, XL!

    Great tits, Nurse Myra!

    Glad to fill in some info, Wally - I would very much like to see one or more backsides of these photographes - it's plain curiosity.
    I vaguely remember having seen something similar to the last gyrocopter, but have no idea about it now.

    I am very sorry, Ms Scarlet, I have absolutely no usage for your item.
    You seem to have a oreferene for white woods in your rooms. I think I remember that on the photographs of your lovely derriere also white wood was to be seen.

    Oh Princess - I remember these cards well from my youth when my mother had these. I am sorry, I am absolutely unable with needlework.

    Dear Mistress - Where is this gum applied to? Or do I need to swallow?

    ReplyDelete
  29. Is that BLEATING that I hear?

    Has anyone else noticed that Herr Mago is obsessed today with "backsides" and "derrieres?"

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  30. I thought he had put all that behind!

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  31. Maybe ouzo related after-effects ...

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  32. NEED THE TIES! WANT THE TIES! DESPARATELY DESIRE THE TIES! You can keep Lenin; I see him daily when I tune my television to one of the 'ant races' channels and mentally dial "1-800-KREMLIN" while facing east. But those ties! Have you actually worn them, Mago? Do the tender molecules of your nude neck yet cling the inner seams of their satin flamboyance? I will go to sleep every night only after holding them close to my cheek and inhaling their Franconian funk. Oh yes! Give me the Cobra Jewels! er, the Franconian Neckwear!!!!!

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  33. @MS. NATIONS: Franconian funk?

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  34. Funk? YES, I wore them! At various occasions. You can receive my fabulous dns with this, First Nations: You could actually reproduce me!

    These pictures in no way resemble my actual self - they were categorized as "British, late 70s" by Ms Scarlet - and she should know!

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  35. *clicks link from Mago*

    I see you're trying to lure Ms. Nations with your ORGAN.

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  36. The only thing I can put my hands on and work it on out.

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  37. You'd better start chewing my gum, Mago.

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  38. ...don't bother me now. I'm shakin my groove thang.

    (TIES TIES TIES TIES)

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  39. NATIONS: Go over to Mago's place...he's got a tune for you.

    ReplyDelete
  40. And I have a tune for him! It's called "I Done Rolled My Pickup Truck, My Sister is My Mamma, My Dog Married a Catholic and My Grampa Won't Take A Bath". Which title serves most country music as far as I'm concerned.




    (Neckties...dreaming of your neckties....trying to get your....neckties of loooooooove....)

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  41. I just had a sweaty dream about my new lace panties...

    Just thought I'd share.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I need the HandzOff. I'd like to contribute more comments to your blog but rarely get past the Infomaniac Icon at the top of the page showing Piggy's Arse! Friday's are the worst...

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  43. Riley: 'Worst' is, at best, a relative term. Piggy's Arse is a holy icon! And as far as the Infomaniac Bitches go, Friday is Fun Day! Just like the Mickey Mouse Club!

    In fact, a hell of a lot like the MMC.

    Uncomfortably so.

    Forget I mentioned the Mouseketeers.

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  44. When dad died, young, in August of 1990, more than a few boxes and a couple of gizmos disappeared from the basement of our Ohio home

    So either someone stole your dad's stuff or some spooks sneaked in and reappropriated it for the secret government agencies that are mentioned in the completely factual documentary series "The X-Files." Creepy either way.

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  45. Mago, the sheep does not have a name. To me it's just known as naughty minx. The lucky winner may name it.

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  46. I want the Sheep! I want it now!

    Ummm....while I'm at it, can I also have the picture of the FGES as well? With autograph.

    Come on. I am Cyberpete's Fag Hag.

    *sigh*

    Please?

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  47. 'Petra, darling.

    * flutters eyelashes coquettishly *

    * removes clump of eye goob - well, I've not long been up - and resumes fluttering *

    As a fellow wearer, I simply must have that signed photo! To own a bit of FGES history would be a dream come true. And what a talking point it would be hung upon the dining room wall while having an extravagant dinner party (I'd have placemats made up from the print, too).
    And I promise not to conduct any voodoo using the image!

    * ponders next Over-the-Cusp visit and who may take on a starring role... *

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  48. Oh, and Wally, those photos are just the thing I need to update Broom and bring it bucking and screaming into the 20th century (yeah, I know it's the 21st Century, but Broom's very old and moving on a couple of centuries would be too much of a shock for the old bristles to take).
    Utilising their technological secrets, I could fashion instruments the envy of other eldritch airborne aeronauts and perhaps make it across the Atlantic to spread my particular brand of terror and mayhe- Uh, I mean peace and love?

    ReplyDelete
  49. I shall repeat the words of Ms. Nations...

    PIGGY'S ARSE IS A HOLY ICON!

    I'm considering having a room wallpapered in it.

    Carry on bitches with your lace panties and eyelash fluttering.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Still pining and whining, waiting for my neckties, longing for my neckties, neckties, oh yeah.

    In other news, a room wallpapered with Piggys' Arse would be a very pink and fuzzy room. Accessorize with toilet paper dollies and pit bulls.

    In yet other news, that book about Lana Turner is looking EEEEEENteresting.....

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  51. I tried to lure Mr. Peenee with a necktie ...

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  52. Piggy's bum is a holey icon? How do you other Infomaniacs worship it?

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  53. The plot thickens!

    You've got to bring it bitches!

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  54. ...dude, you fit right in.


    Mago: HEY NOW THOSE ARE MY NECKTIES!!!!! Fickle and faithless Franconian, fear me!

    ...I mean,


    ...oh screw it.

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  55. dangit cyberPete you slid into third there.

    I meant RILEY. Not you. You are the sparkley Christmas 1998 Special Occasion Collectors Barbie with a rip in her nylons and no panties of the Internet.

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  56. RILEY: No further comments from you until you’ve submitted a photo of your arse for our Alluring Arse Gallery.

    BITCHES: UP THE BIDDING WARS!!!

    You have until about 10:00 pm (EDT) …approximately 9 hours from when I posted this comment…at which point the bidding will end.

    Mistress MJ has spoken.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Ferocious Firstnations! Have to listen to Enrico at once ...

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  58. Ferocious hell....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jet0BnYM0Tg

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  59. ****throws bucket of cold water over Miss Nations ****
    Some of us are trying to sleep Harumph!

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  60. BIDDING HAS ENDED!

    ATTENTION SELLERS: Check to see how many people bid on your item.

    Then leave a comment here telling us who you’ve chosen to be the lucky recipient of that item.

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  61. Looks like Pete is the lucky bidder on MJ's beaver!

    Pete, send me your postal address to the e-mail address listed on my profile page.

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  62. Princess is hardly one to disappoint. How could one deny Designing Wally his dreams resulting in a moist gusset.... althoough if his knickers are in such an unseemly state and in dire need of my lovely lace then I must forward the items post haste. I will include some new knicker elastic as well.... Well we can't have the boy dropping his lacy knickers left right and centre now can we?
    Just forward me a current postal address young Wally and the lace will be winging it's way to you post haste...

    Ps... If someone is hoping to recieve a Hip Flask (ie the prize from another recent event)in the post... then I will also require their current postal address... MJ.. are you reading this darling? Of course that is once the postal workers have returned to service...

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  63. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  64. LENIN WOULD WANT ME TO HAVE THOSE NECKTIES.

    *poised and trembling over keyboard ready to send personal address winging its way over the innernest to FRANCONIA*

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  65. Yay! I won XL's magnet of MJ's hairy, slightly fishy eager beaver! Yay! Will send you my details later XL.

    As for Roses and IDV, hah! Let's see....

    Roses isn't shacked up with a cutie SP so she'll win the naughty sheep.

    IDV will be the lucky winner of the signed TFGES photo. That is, if he promises not to make placemats. Napkins and tea mugs are more appropriate.

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  66. Yay! Thank you 'Petra!

    And, yes, I promise there will be no placemats. Napkins are the way forward. After all, who wouldn't want to dab their mouth with a sparkling knicker mattress?

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  67. Apologies to Mr PeeNEE!
    I will prepare a package to be sent to Denmark.
    Sx

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  68. Congratulations Princess the cards are yours. Send me an e-mail with your home address prithee.

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  69. Mitzi should win something, simply for the use of the word "prithee."

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  70. Morning ... YES! DO it First Nations! It's all Yours! MWAH!

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  71. Since Miss Scarlet has apologized so nicely (one supposes she noticed my frosty silence about referring to me as "peewee,") she wins Lana.

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  72. Thanks Princess- I had to use a paper-clip to hold them together today !!!

    Inexplicable DeVice- Drop me a line with your address and let's see if we can't get that Broom updated to 1962 standards....

    Anything for Peace, Terror & Love.

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  73. Mr. DeVice is going to have to sweep out his Broom closet to make room for all the stuff he's winning.

    I think I'll make a point to call Mr. Peenee "Mr. Peewee" from now on.

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  74. Thank you, Mr PeeNEE for accepting my apology. I will mail you with my details when I return from my travels.
    Sxx

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  75. Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!@XL!

    Miss Scarlet...write him a thank you note addressed to "Mr. Peewee."

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  76. You're all going to pay for this.

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  77. Bring it on, Mr. PEEWEE!

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