Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Gossip Session


Earlier, we asked you to tell longtime, just-back-from-hiatus Infomaniac Bitch Ms. Nations a little about yourselves.

Frankly, we were disappointed in your half-arse efforts.

Oh sure, lots of you turned out for the occasion but you didn’t spill much about yourselves.


So let’s take it up a notch.

Pick any one (or more!) Infomaniac Bitch(es) and tell us about them.

That’s right.

We want you to dish the dirt and let Ms. Nations know ALL about each other.

49 comments:

  1. Well............

    I've lived next door to that tramp at Palais de Steff and let me tell you chile that bitch may as well have a turnstile on her front door.

    In and out.

    In and out.

    In and out.

    In and out.

    In and out.

    Men at ALL hours of the day and night.

    And I SHOULD KNOW!! - I sat at that damn window with handycam in one hand, glass of box of wine in the other, and with night goggles on and let me tell you - i dont know HOW many times I almost spat my $4.99 silver bag riesling all over that window of mine.

    Truly shocking.... shocking I tell you.

    They walk in looking rather nice young gentlemen - their jeans barely ripped - all of their tattoos spelt correctly - and they exit looking like they were in a brawl with some demon of the Nether Regions..... I mean Nether World.

    Shocked.... Appalled.... Jealo... I mean..... Jehosephat I have never seen such sinful and disgraceful behaviour occur at a Palais de ANYTHING!!!

    Now....... wheres that box.... should be a little bit left ... even if I have to tip it - damn that ill placed spiggot...

    ReplyDelete
  2. BITCHES: Observe and learn from Damien's comment.

    Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MJ has become a regular down at the Free Clinic for ongoing-treatment of The Seven Year Itch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. XL: As I mentioned in the comments here, I did not miss that Seven Year Itch film reference…it’s just that Beast’s incessant scratching distracted me.

    Move along to someone ELSE now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL@xl

    Hi xl :) ***waves like a 6 year old girl***

    ***bows obsequiously to the Mistress as is proper ***

    ReplyDelete
  6. May I remind you bitches *slaps Damien's wildly gesticulating wrist* that we are here to dish dirt on Infomaniac Bitches OTHER than Mistress MJ.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you Mistress..... May I have another?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well you didn’t hear this from me but I have it on good authority that Mitzi likes to be an Adult Baby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. *wrestles with a champagne cork*

    Cyberpete and I are too busy drinking Moet to worry about what other people get up to (even if they are getting up to it in questionable footwear).

    But I will say I'm never going to have another scone at Beast's cafe. His idea of clotted cream and mine, differ slightly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. DAMIEN: Thank you Mistress..... May I have another?

    *slap!*

    You make it so easy for me, Slave Damien.

    AYEM8Y: Well you didn’t hear this from me but I have it on good authority that Mitzi likes to be an Adult Baby.

    And I have it not only on good authority but the actual words from your filthy mouths…

    “Mitzi's done a whoopsy in her nappy and wants Ayem8y to change her. Change me Ayem8y, change me!" – Mitzi.

    “Come to Uncle Ayem8y…Who’s been a naughty Mitzi?” – AyeM8y.

    I had to leave when you started talcuming Mitzi's bottom.

    ROSES: *wrestles with a champagne cork*
    Cyberpete and I are too busy drinking Moet to worry about what other people get up to (even if they are getting up to it in questionable footwear).
    But I will say I'm never going to have another scone at Beast's cafe. His idea of clotted cream and mine, differ slightly.


    I should think that “Sconing” will soon make it as an entry into the Oxford Dictionary of English, don’t you?

    Now that “vuvuzela” is included, it’s only a matter of time.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr Coppens is an Italian virgin... and he is 67!!!
    Roses is alergic to acohol - it brings her out in a nasty rash [I know this because I supply her monthly with a special pink ointment].
    Petra works on a building site and wears dungerees with hob-nail boots most of the time; he also has the largest collection of Led Zepplin CD's in the world.
    MJ is at this moment wearing a green pair of crocs....
    Sx

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  12. Ayem8y has been showing his hot naked ass around here so much that the Infomaniac Shopping Network is giving it away as gift with purchase. *reaches for a swig out of the jumbo winde glass*

    ReplyDelete
  13. Now... What have I missed. I'm sorry but I've just been oiling the new turnstile...
    And... I'm busy in the process of putting in a Firemans Pole so that my Gentlemen Callers
    can make a speedy exit before I grease...I mean greet my next suitor...
    Now I'm not sure but I have of late had the spooky feeling that I'm cosntantly being watched.
    I think that the one doing the watching is that terrible lush next door...
    She is forever having her 2 cents worth while leaning over my fence slurring her words in between sucking her chateau cardboard straight form the silvery bladder...And giving me instructions on how to trim my bush...

    And She's a Terrible Gossip...

    I hear all these stories that are quite blue for such delicate and sensitive ears as mine. The goings on at Chez Infomaniac and the antics all those bitches.... She does go on and on you know...
    And She know all the comings and goings but... mostly the cummings of the neighbour hood..

    My suspicions were further aroused when I discovered an empty Handicam box when going though her rubbish the other night.
    No recycling in that house believe me. I tell you... Bathtubs and old car tyres strew all over the nature strip.
    Your not throwing them away I thought as I dragged them down the driveway... They will make a perfect Vegetable garden.....

    Well... I will no longer be drawing the curtains... Or turning off the light...
    If her nextdoor wants a show... I'll give her one...
    "Princess is ready boys"....

    ReplyDelete
  14. SCARLET: Mr Coppens is an Italian virgin... and he is 67!!!
    Roses is alergic to acohol - it brings her out in a nasty rash [I know this because I supply her monthly with a special pink ointment].
    Petra works on a building site and wears dungerees with hob-nail boots most of the time; he also has the largest collection of Led Zepplin CD's in the world.
    MJ is at this moment wearing a green pair of crocs....


    Yes, just look at Mr. Coppens. His “How Ya Doin’?” just screams Italian … though more of Italian gangster than Italian virgin.

    Why is Roses clinging to Hayward’s jumbo wine glass if she’s allergic to alcohol?

    Petra’s working on a building site only so he can attempt to pick up hot builders.

    Mistress MJ will not justify that Crocs comment with a response.

    HAYWARD: Ayem8y has been showing his hot naked ass around here so much that the Infomaniac Shopping Network is giving it away as gift with purchase. *reaches for a swig out of the jumbo winde glass*

    AyeM8y’s ass is truly overexposed.

    Although you’re not exactly a model of discretion by posing alongside AyeM8y and flashing your snatch.

    HAYWARD: *hiccup*..."wine glass."

    Obviously there is no truth to the rumour that Hayward is a lush.

    PRINCESS: Now... What have I missed. I'm sorry but I've just been oiling the new turnstile...
    And... I'm busy in the process of putting in a Firemans Pole so that my Gentlemen Callers
    can make a speedy exit before I grease...I mean greet my next suitor...
    Now I'm not sure but I have of late had the spooky feeling that I'm cosntantly being watched.
    I think that the one doing the watching is that terrible lush next door...
    She is forever having her 2 cents worth while leaning over my fence slurring her words in between sucking her chateau cardboard straight form the silvery bladder...And giving me instructions on how to trim my bush...
    And She's a Terrible Gossip...
    I hear all these stories that are quite blue for such delicate and sensitive ears as mine. The goings on at Chez Infomaniac and the antics all those bitches.... She does go on and on you know...
    And She know all the comings and goings but... mostly the cummings of the neighbour hood..
    My suspicions were further aroused when I discovered an empty Handicam box when going though her rubbish the other night.
    No recycling in that house believe me. I tell you... Bathtubs and old car tyres strew all over the nature strip.
    Your not throwing them away I thought as I dragged them down the driveway... They will make a perfect Vegetable garden.....
    Well... I will no longer be drawing the curtains... Or turning off the light...
    If her nextdoor wants a show... I'll give her one...
    "Princess is ready boys"....


    No longer drawing the curtains?

    So you’re saying that your BEEF curtains will remain open?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well, I'm not one to gossip, but...my understanding is that TJB has a Brooks Brothers sling. He had it custom made in this terribly expensive kobe fine grained leather...and I can tell you that Mean Dirty Pirate has a crack snackable ass. Oh, of course I'm not an ass muncher, but if I were I would be dining for days!

    ReplyDelete
  16. MR. COOKIE: Well, I'm not one to gossip, but...my understanding is that TJB has a Brooks Brothers sling. He had it custom made in this terribly expensive kobe fine grained leather...and I can tell you that Mean Dirty Pirate has a crack snackable ass. Oh, of course I'm not an ass muncher, but if I were I would be dining for days!

    Ass is an acquired taste, that’s for certain.

    But if offered a choice between the AyeM8y Aspic and the Kipper Surprise at the Infomaniac Diner, wouldn’t you prefer the former?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I heard that TJB's sling was by Brook Shields not Brooks Brothers...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ayem8y, you are a common over the fence garden gossip. I haven't done anything to feel ashamed about...in ages.

    As you know, I'm not one for gossip but it has been reported that a home made "What The Butler Saw" of Scarlet Blue shot by Ayem8y has surfaced on the internet. Scarlet is clearly seen cavorting in nothing more than a sheer chiffron mantilla, it's disgusting. Moral watchdogs fear it may spark off a trend for even harder material on the internet.

    Once whilst staying at her Nanna's house, Princess made an apple pie using her Nanna's false teeth to crimp the pastry.

    Gossip about myself? Well, at Princess Diana's funeral parade I misjudged the mood of the nation by grinning and waving to the television cameras as if I were arriving at a Royal command Perfomance.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AYEM8Y: I heard that TJB's sling was by Brook Shields not Brooks Brothers...

    Or Brooks and Dunn.

    In which case backless chaps would be involved.

    MITZI: Ayem8y, you are a common over the fence garden gossip. I haven't done anything to feel ashamed about...in ages.
    As you know, I'm not one for gossip but it has been reported that a home made "What The Butler Saw" of Scarlet Blue shot by Ayem8y has surfaced on the internet. Scarlet is clearly seen cavorting in nothing more than a sheer chiffron mantilla, it's disgusting. Moral watchdogs fear it may spark off a trend for even harder material on the internet.
    Once whilst staying at her Nanna's house, Princess made an apple pie using her Nanna's false teeth to crimp the pastry.
    Gossip about myself? Well, at Princess Diana's funeral parade I misjudged the mood of the nation by grinning and waving to the television cameras as if I were arriving at a Royal command Perfomance.


    AyeM8y should be ashamed of having sex with beggars. It leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth, doesn’t it?

    I’ve spoken with Miss Scarlet regarding her blatant performance in diaphanous garments. It leaves nothing to the imagination and may harm the minds of those of you who do not wish to imagine Secret Lady Places.

    Never mind Princess’s Nanna’s false teeth…it is reported that Princess will remove her OWN false teeth for the right man. Chew on THAT!

    As for your behaviour at Princess Di’s funeral, you didn’t help matters any when you later created a portrait of the poor dear using dryer lint. Tsk.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Blimey... that does look a bit like me...
    You leave me no option, Mitzi, but to reveal what we get up to together on Scarlet and Mitzi webcam.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  21. MJ is really a 200lb man who moonlights on transvestite forums as LovePumpkin.

    Manuel is really a brain in the jar of a mad scientist.

    FirstNations is actually an Artificial Intelligence program created by the US military, gone rogue.

    Leah is in truth Princess Diana Spencer, who escaped the pressure of media attention by faking her own death. With the help of her former husband, who is a CIA operative under deep cover.

    Kapitano got his arsehole unexpectedly sucked at the weekend by a second-hand car salesman. Oh hang on, that one's true.

    ReplyDelete
  22. SCARLET: Blimey... that does look a bit like me...
    You leave me no option, Mitzi, but to reveal what we get up to together on Scarlet and Mitzi webcam.


    You and Mitzi are a pair of floozies.

    I detect cameltoe!

    KAPI: MJ is really a 200lb man who moonlights on transvestite forums as LovePumpkin.
    Manuel is really a brain in the jar of a mad scientist.
    FirstNations is actually an Artificial Intelligence program created by the US military, gone rogue.
    Leah is in truth Princess Diana Spencer, who escaped the pressure of media attention by faking her own death. With the help of her former husband, who is a CIA operative under deep cover.
    Kapitano got his arsehole unexpectedly sucked at the weekend by a second-hand car salesman. Oh hang on, that one's true.


    My ample “birthing hips” do not make me anyone’s LovePumpkin.

    I’ve got friends in high places looking into your theories on Manuel, Ms. Nations and Leah.

    And speaking of eating ass, as we were earlier with Mr. Cookie,…YAY FOR YOU! Next week maybe he’ll suck the chrome off your trailer hitch.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I strenously defend myself against that vile rumour I'm allergic to alcohol.

    Next thing you know, Ms Scarlet will suggest I'm a closet good girl.

    Humpf.

    *slams door on way out*

    ReplyDelete
  24. *grabs a pint glass and dips it into the vodka fountain*

    ReplyDelete
  25. Where does one begin??

    Dirt on other bloggers you say??

    Are you sure??

    No. I mean are you really sure??

    *giggles"

    ReplyDelete
  26. And then there is Norma Desmond, who is sick and tired of being sick and tired. When we were at lunch the other day she turned to me and said "Cookie, you know you're fat when the crotch on your caftan is tight." Dear, crazed, insane demented Norma Desmond.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ROSES: I strenously defend myself against that vile rumour I'm allergic to alcohol.
    Next thing you know, Ms Scarlet will suggest I'm a closet good girl.
    Humpf.
    *slams door on way out*
    *grabs a pint glass and dips it into the vodka fountain*


    Ms. Boxer unplugged the vodka fountain when she went on hiatus.

    I don’t WHAT you’re drinking but it isn’t vodka.

    SID: Where does one begin??
    Dirt on other bloggers you say??
    Are you sure??
    No. I mean are you really sure??
    *giggles"


    I see you haven’t lost your girlish giggle.

    And you can keep what you know to yourself.

    Twunt.

    MR. COOKIE: And then there is Norma Desmond, who is sick and tired of being sick and tired. When we were at lunch the other day she turned to me and said "Cookie, you know you're fat when the crotch on your caftan is tight." Dear, crazed, insane demented Norma Desmond.

    Low blow…Norma’s on vacation and isn’t here to defend herself.

    *chuckles anyway*

    *thinks about emailing her*

    ReplyDelete
  28. TELL
    ME
    MORE
    YOU
    FILTHY
    DIRTY
    BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh, Ive got some DIRT on your Mistress, buckos. I used to have to live one country down from the hoochie. Oh yes; directly to the southwest. Every time she performed that trick she does with the hard boiled eggs it caused a huge traffic pileup on the Lionsgate Bridge. One eggs' a novelty; ya unnerstan; but this ho been firing off a whole damn dozen at a time! Winos with rags be all cleaning windsheilds for weeks afterwards...and the smell? Oh DON'T; everything downwind just fell over dead like Three Mile Island. Red snapper? Bitch, that DEAD snapper you ask me. The fog is approaching the Old North Church!Get to high ground! We thought the orca were migrating! On foot! I had to repaint that whole side of the house! Bitch owe me for three gallons of Dutch Boy. Word.

    ReplyDelete
  29. "I don’t WHAT you’re drinking but it isn’t vodka"

    Hey, has anyone seen my Stadium Pal?

    ReplyDelete
  30. sick and tired of being sick and tired

    cookie, you sure got that right!

    actually, the second half of this holiday has found me sick and i've lost weight (which happens when you don't eat) and now my caftan positively glides across my lithe limbs.

    cookie shouldn't forget where that name "COOKIE" came from. when her mouth isn't chewing one, it manages to be chewing something else!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Miss First Nations designs toilet planters under the nom de plume of Fenella Flush.

    Miss MJ and Mr Frobisher are the same person.
    Miss Scarlet has been served with an ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order) following a misunderstanding when her excotic dance demonstration caused a stampede at the Devon Cattle Market.....she now privately admits the udders where a mistake

    ReplyDelete
  32. Donn has anger issues and kills hobos for fun. Manuel works the fryer at a place called Superfry.

    ReplyDelete
  33. MJ can skin an eel with her teeth.


    *crosses legs*

    ReplyDelete
  34. MS. NATIONS: TELL
    ME
    MORE
    YOU
    FILTHY
    DIRTY
    BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh, Ive got some DIRT on your Mistress, buckos. I used to have to live one country down from the hoochie. Oh yes; directly to the southwest. Every time she performed that trick she does with the hard boiled eggs it caused a huge traffic pileup on the Lionsgate Bridge. One eggs' a novelty; ya unnerstan; but this ho been firing off a whole damn dozen at a time! Winos with rags be all cleaning windsheilds for weeks afterwards...and the smell? Oh DON'T; everything downwind just fell over dead like Three Mile Island. Red snapper? Bitch, that DEAD snapper you ask me. The fog is approaching the Old North Church!Get to high ground! We thought the orca were migrating! On foot! I had to repaint that whole side of the house! Bitch owe me for three gallons of Dutch Boy. Word.


    I’m too far east to roll my giant wheel of cheese over the border at you anymore.

    *slaps Ms. Nations with day-old Kipper Surprise instead*

    While I’ve got you here, I want to know what you’ve done with Mr. Egyptian Penis Man.

    XL: "I don’t WHAT you’re drinking but it isn’t vodka"
    Hey, has anyone seen my Stadium Pal?


    I clicked on the “sizing guide” and would like to know your measurements.

    NORMA: sick and tired of being sick and tired

    cookie, you sure got that right!
    actually, the second half of this holiday has found me sick and i've lost weight (which happens when you don't eat) and now my caftan positively glides across my lithe limbs.
    cookie shouldn't forget where that name "COOKIE" came from. when her mouth isn't chewing one, it manages to be chewing something else!


    Andre Leon Talley called and wants his caftan back.

    BEAST: Miss First Nations designs toilet planters under the nom de plume of Fenella Flush.
    Miss MJ and Mr Frobisher are the same person.
    Miss Scarlet has been served with an ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order) following a misunderstanding when her excotic dance demonstration caused a stampede at the Devon Cattle Market.....she now privately admits the udders where a mistake


    That’s right…Ms. Nations is the author of the best-selling “Creating a Backyard Paradise: Turn Your Old Toilet or Truck Tires into Decorative Planters”.

    Click here to see an example of her handiwork.

    If I am really Mr. Frobisher, am I entitled to the takings from Mavis Boyle Bingo Nights?

    Miss Scarlet can relieve the udder chafing with Bag Balm.

    KNUDSEN: Donn has anger issues and kills hobos for fun. Manuel works the fryer at a place called Superfry.

    AyeM8y apparently has “relations” with the hobos before Donn can get his hands on them. Perhaps Donn and AyeM8y are working as a team.

    Do we still have to tip Manuel?

    SID: MJ can skin an eel with her teeth.
    *crosses legs*


    It doesn’t take me long to skin Wee SID.

    ReplyDelete
  35. BEAST likes to wear frilly panties and lure pedestrians into his back garden where he chases them around with a copy of 'Dianetics' while holding a slice of toast between his knees. I have proof!

    *clicks back to Wee SID*

    ReplyDelete
  36. Old Knudsen is actually a catholic priest who was defrocked after being found in a semi-conscious state in the confessional...soaked in piss, weeping, with a half a mortadella and an empty can of gold aerosol paint at his feet.

    *puts Wee SID on 'favorites'*

    ReplyDelete
  37. *takes another sip*

    Put it this way, this might not be vodka, but it's not cloudy and trust me when I say it's 110% proof.

    ReplyDelete
  38. XL says he has performance anxiety...

    *wink*

    He does this dance at the Rough Kitty, with 5 large ostrich feather fans, a drum beat and nothing else.

    I'm told the establishment have had to hire bodyguards for him, but they look forward to the upsurge in their profits once a month.

    ReplyDelete
  39. MS. NATIONS: BEAST likes to wear frilly panties and lure pedestrians into his back garden where he chases them around with a copy of 'Dianetics' while holding a slice of toast between his knees. I have proof!
    *clicks back to Wee SID*


    I don’t NEED proof…I BELIEVE you!

    What YOU need to know is that while you’ve been away, Beast came up with an entirely new perversion involving frottage, i.e. rubbing himself vigorously with cheesy scones!

    As you would expect, clotted cream was involved as well.

    Mitzi named this previously undocumented condition “SCONING”.

    Do NOT order the Devonian cream tea.

    MS. NATIONS: Old Knudsen is actually a catholic priest who was defrocked after being found in a semi-conscious state in the confessional...soaked in piss, weeping, with a half a mortadella and an empty can of gold aerosol paint at his feet.
    *puts Wee SID on 'favorites'*


    Was Knudsen “Sconing” the mortadella?

    As for my beloved Wee SID, look how he lights up when Mistress MJ enters the room.

    ROSES: *takes another sip*
    Put it this way, this might not be vodka, but it's not cloudy and trust me when I say it's 110% proof.


    That’s actually IVD’s bath water you’re drinking.

    ROSES: XL says he has performance anxiety...
    *wink*
    He does this dance at the Rough Kitty, with 5 large ostrich feather fans, a drum beat and nothing else.
    I'm told the establishment have had to hire bodyguards for him, but they look forward to the upsurge in their profits once a month.


    Does XL pull out his pocket trumpet at any point during the act?

    ReplyDelete
  40. If it's good enough for Shania Twain, then it's good enough for me.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  41. SCARLET: If it's good enough for Shania Twain, then it's good enough for me.

    Man, it’ll make you feel like a woman!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I for one would like to give Shania Twain a Norwegian Fish Whupping

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am personally offended by Cookie's vicious rumor.

    Brooks Brothers sling, indeed.

    It's Hermes, darling, in bespoke bridle leather. Sermoneta supplied the fisting gloves; in lieu of a rubber mat, there's a chinchilla throw; and I commissioned a pair of platinum Cartier handcuffs.

    ReplyDelete
  44. TJB: a bitch has TASTE, you rowdy poopster you!

    Meanwhile, I understand Miz Scarlet has been observed by local law enforcement shoplifting Playtex Living Gloves. In Housewife Pink, no less. What ho, as they are wont to say in these rural parts....

    ReplyDelete
  45. Norma, darling!

    First your sick and now you are infirm? Gracious no! Well I'm hopping on the flight I can find and will nurse you right back to health. Now just where-oh-where did I leave that breast pump?

    I coming dear! Hold on and stay away from fatty foods.

    ReplyDelete
  46. TJB: I am personally offended by Cookie's vicious rumor.

    Brooks Brothers sling, indeed.

    It's Hermes, darling, in bespoke bridle leather. Sermoneta supplied the fisting gloves; in lieu of a rubber mat, there's a chinchilla throw; and I commissioned a pair of platinum Cartier handcuffs


    Honey I was just trying to save your face! We're living in a time of Austerity. If all these Bitches knew that your apartment has his and his Turkish baths they would turn on you faster than Etta James did on Beyonce!

    They don't need to know that only will flush your turds down the commode with Vichey Water, now do they?

    ReplyDelete
  47. BEAST: I for one would like to give Shania Twain a Norwegian Fish Whupping

    Considering that you filled your trousers over at Ms. Nations’ place, Shania wants nothing to do with you.

    I know this for a fact as all Canadians know each other and we TALK about you Brits.

    TJB: I am personally offended by Cookie's vicious rumor.
    Brooks Brothers sling, indeed.
    It's Hermes, darling, in bespoke bridle leather. Sermoneta supplied the fisting gloves; in lieu of a rubber mat, there's a chinchilla throw; and I commissioned a pair of platinum Cartier handcuffs.


    It’s good to be queen, isn’t it?

    p.s. See Ms. Nations’ comment, below you.

    And Cookie’s response to you too.

    MS. NATIONS: TJB: a bitch has TASTE, you rowdy poopster you!
    Meanwhile, I understand Miz Scarlet has been observed by local law enforcement shoplifting Playtex Living Gloves. In Housewife Pink, no less. What ho, as they are wont to say in these rural parts....


    Were you aware that Beast has a rubber glove phobia?

    Miss Scarlet wears Playtex Living Gloves to scare Mr. Beastie.

    Let’s hear him explain his fear in his own words as follows…

    “Pa Beasty was a chemist and used to hide a rubber glove containing a bit of dry ice in my chest of drawers .when an unsuspecting young Beast opened a drawer the rubber glove used to leap out with the expanding c02 , inflate to an enormous size and then explode..particularly 'hilarious' if the glove was filled with talcum powder.....you can imagine it got old very quickly and left me with a lifelong fear of drawers AND rubber gloves
    ***twitch***”

    MR. COOKIE: Norma, darling!
    First your sick and now you are infirm? Gracious no! Well I'm hopping on the flight I can find and will nurse you right back to health. Now just where-oh-where did I leave that breast pump?
    I coming dear! Hold on and stay away from fatty foods.


    Norma, if you’re able to rally ‘round and read this, don’t be easily fooled by Cookie’s cunning ways.

    He just wants to come over so he can snoop through your drawers.

    MR. COOKIE: TJB: I am personally offended by Cookie's vicious rumor.
    Brooks Brothers sling, indeed.
    It's Hermes, darling, in bespoke bridle leather. Sermoneta supplied the fisting gloves; in lieu of a rubber mat, there's a chinchilla throw; and I commissioned a pair of platinum Cartier handcuffs

    Honey I was just trying to save your face! We're living in a time of Austerity. If all these Bitches knew that your apartment has his and his Turkish baths they would turn on you faster than Etta James did on Beyonce!
    They don't need to know that only will flush your turds down the commode with Vichey Water, now do they?


    TJB’s turds, if he even HAS them, are gold-plated.

    ReplyDelete
  48. thanks cookie, but something tells me that mistress is right.

    TJ shit? perish the thought.

    ReplyDelete