Friday, January 22, 2010

Filthy Friday – Botanical Edition

This week’s Filthy Friday image is courtesy of Ms. Nations, she of the green thumb.

Actual quote from Ms. Nations’ blog: “WORSHIP MY MIND BOGGLING ABILITY TO MAKE PLANTS GROW! MUAHAHAHAHA!”



Yes, Ms. Nations is a goddess of the garden and is the author of the best-selling “Creating a Backyard Paradise: Turn Your Old Toilet or Truck Tires into Decorative Planters”.

Nonetheless, we here at Infomaniac consider this to be a highly unorthodox planter.

56 comments:

  1. While this is a most bizarre image, I feel it is highly necessary to state the obvious:

    this prickly cactus (the plant, not Ms. Nations) is causing such sexual joy to this sad sack that he actually has a wee dribble of the good stuff.

    How wrong. How very, very wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. People are insane. They really are.

    I wonder how she came across this sort of insanity

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought that wast a wart like thingy Kevin.

    Good god that IS wrong!

    ReplyDelete
  4. CYBERPOOF AND KEVIN: One of you is up awfully early and the other one awfully late.

    Perhaps your judgment is clouded from lack of sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I gasped when I saw this. Thankfully it looks like the thorns are plucked away at the top. But still. Ouch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It definately is! It's 7.16am here.

    I'm heading to work in about 15 minutes and I'm way too tired to care.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Given that is 1:15am, I suppose that for me, either could be true.

    Regardless,...one does not think that one will see in his dashboard items one try to shove a cucumber up his naughties only to find out that it is in fact a plant indigenous to the deserts of Arizona.

    In summation...

    I may never sleep again.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This guy should chew his food more :-(

    ReplyDelete
  9. OH MY GOD THAT GUY HAS A CACTUS UP HIS ASS! WHO SENDS YOU THIS SICK SHIT MJ? I AM OUTRAGED! SIMPLY OUTRAGED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO OREGON WITH THAT IMAGE STUCK IN MY MIND? I AM STUNNED; STUNNED, SHOCKED AND APPALLED! AND VEXED! AND A LITTLE CHAFED!

    oh wait....

    ReplyDelete
  10. .....and i don't have any toilet planters. or truck tires. no toilet planters, no gnomes, no cement deer, no plastic chickens, no canadians, no investment brokers, no no no no NO.

    NO.

    ReplyDelete
  11. MICHAEL RIVERS: I gasped when I saw this. Thankfully it looks like the thorns are plucked away at the top. But still. Ouch.

    Don’t be such a big baby.

    A little prick won’t hurt you.

    CYBERPOOF: It definately is! It's 7.16am here.
    I'm heading to work in about 15 minutes and I'm way too tired to care.


    You’ll be daydreaming about this at work.

    KEVIN: Given that is 1:15am, I suppose that for me, either could be true.
    Regardless,...one does not think that one will see in his dashboard items one try to shove a cucumber up his naughties only to find out that it is in fact a plant indigenous to the deserts of Arizona.
    In summation...
    I may never sleep again.


    Luckily it wasn’t a saguaro cactus.

    XL: HO HO HO!

    Worth watching ‘til the end.

    BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-(

    But it’s fibre!

    KEVIN: whatamIvapour????

    Eh?

    NATIONS: OH MY GOD THAT GUY HAS A CACTUS UP HIS ASS! WHO SENDS YOU THIS SICK SHIT MJ? I AM OUTRAGED! SIMPLY OUTRAGED! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO OREGON WITH THAT IMAGE STUCK IN MY MIND? I AM STUNNED; STUNNED, SHOCKED AND APPALLED! AND VEXED! AND A LITTLE CHAFED!
    oh wait....


    Oh crap. I thought you’d gone to Oregon and we could talk behind your back.

    I have some cream for that chafing.

    NATIONS: .....and i don't have any toilet planters. or truck tires. no toilet planters, no gnomes, no cement deer, no plastic chickens, no canadians, no investment brokers, no no no no NO.
    NO.


    Oh yeah, then what are these?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've heard of having a prick up your arse, but this....

    ReplyDelete
  13. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us3:02 AM, January 22, 2010

    "BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-("

    He's just cutting out the middle man, saves on food that's too chewy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hope he's got an Aloe plant nearby--he's going to need to sit on it to heal those scratches!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Does he want it kissing better?

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is obviously the first time he's done it as his arse isn't covered in scars.

    ReplyDelete
  17. If we pay more money will he sit on a tree for next weeks Filthy Friday?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  18. He shaved everything but the cactus. Silly.

    ReplyDelete
  19. What utter filth. Fancy leaving the broom leaning against the wall!
    Obviously the gentleman has had a very close shave and is attempting to compensate for his little prick with a larger one. Poor unfortunate soul.

    ReplyDelete
  20. KAPI: I've heard of having a prick up your arse, but this....

    Perhaps he’s just trying to dislodge your wristwatch.

    MOB: "BEAST: This guy should chew his food more :-("
    He's just cutting out the middle man, saves on food that's too chewy.


    We wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole.

    EROS: I hope he's got an Aloe plant nearby--he's going to need to sit on it to heal those scratches!!!

    Aloe Aloe! …

    Isn’t that a Britcom?

    KAPI: Does he want it kissing better?

    May we remind you that Infomaniac is not a dating service?

    IVD: This is obviously the first time he's done it as his arse isn't covered in scars.

    Spoken like someone who knows.

    Oh, and see my comment to Princess.

    NORMADESMOND: midnight at the oasis.

    “Cactus is our friend”

    Ha!!!

    SCARLET: If we pay more money will he sit on a tree for next weeks Filthy Friday?

    How much have you got?

    JASON: He shaved everything but the cactus. Silly.

    A novice manscaper, to be sure.

    PRINCESS: What utter filth. Fancy leaving the broom leaning against the wall!
    Obviously the gentleman has had a very close shave and is attempting to compensate for his little prick with a larger one. Poor unfortunate soul.


    There’s a broom?

    Where’s there’s a broom there’s IVD!

    ReplyDelete
  21. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us11:55 AM, January 22, 2010

    "MJ said:
    We wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole."


    Yes well, you're my secret crush and sometimes I go all shy when you're around, just like Rajeesh on "The Big Bang Theory."

    ReplyDelete
  22. Talk about a pain in the ass!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. MOB: "MJ said:
    We wondered what it would take to bring you out of your hidey hole."

    Yes well, you're my secret crush and sometimes I go all shy when you're around, just like Rajeesh on "The Big Bang Theory."


    I had to Google this only to find that Rajeesh has a nervous bladder.

    Please refrain from peeing on my blog.

    FROBI: Hopefully its a Peyote cactus

    Wouldn’t it be easier just to brew a cuppa?

    EROS: Talk about a pain in the ass!!!

    If it’s a Peyote cactus, as Mr. Frobisher suggests, the ANALgesic properties will cut the pain.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Is it wrong that I DIDN'T gasp when I saw this, and immediately wished of someone that this could be done to?

    ReplyDelete
  25. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us1:24 PM, January 22, 2010

    Don't worry I've tied a knot in it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. DONNA: Is it wrong that I DIDN'T gasp when I saw this, and immediately wished of someone that this could be done to?

    Not at all.

    It means you fit in perfectly as an Official Infomaniac Bitch.

    Welcome.

    MOB: Don't worry I've tied a knot in it.

    Did a scout master teach you?

    ReplyDelete
  27. While we all sit here shocked at the image of a cactus up some dude's ass...I ask: what does it say about us that we look forward to these Filthy Friday posts?

    Ummm...

    Well, I don't know about any of you, but I CAN'T WAIT for next Friday's post!! WWEEE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us2:08 PM, January 22, 2010

    No, I'm not much of a team player being more of a solo artist, so I am largely self-taught. I say 'largely' as I was married once you see and she was an excellent tutor.

    ReplyDelete
  29. RANDOM: While we all sit here shocked at the image of a cactus up some dude's ass...I ask: what does it say about us that we look forward to these Filthy Friday posts?
    Ummm...
    Well, I don't know about any of you, but I CAN'T WAIT for next Friday's post!! WWEEE!!!


    Oh great.

    Now the pressure’s on.

    MOB: No, I'm not much of a team player being more of a solo artist, so I am largely self-taught. I say 'largely' as I was married once you see and she was an excellent tutor.

    Can you do a Windsor knot?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Kabuki shall remain standing for the remainder of the day. One can only imagine the dinner conversation in that house. "honey, have you seen the amaryllis?"

    ReplyDelete
  31. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us2:25 PM, January 22, 2010

    Is that the one where you slit someones throat and pull their tongue through?

    ReplyDelete
  32. KABUKI: Kabuki shall remain standing for the remainder of the day. One can only imagine the dinner conversation in that house. "honey, have you seen the amaryllis?"

    The Mother-in-Law's Tongue is missing too…disturbingly.

    MOB: Is that the one where you slit someones throat and pull their tongue through?

    *takes all sharp objects away from Mob*

    ReplyDelete
  33. My name is Mob cos there's lots of us3:10 PM, January 22, 2010

    My apologies, that is the Colombian Necktie I was thinking of. And then there are things such as:

    Glaswegian Kiss
    Soweto Necklace
    Egyptian Brake Pedal
    Dutch courage
    Tennessee bait
    Mexican credit card et al

    The beauty of language *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  34. Mob: What about a pearl necklace? Wait...what are we talking about here?

    ReplyDelete
  35. MOB AND RANDOM: Feel free to continue this chat as if I'm not here.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Are there cactus in Oregon? And what is the correct plural of cactus?

    ReplyDelete
  37. You cannot imagine what it's like for a man like me to not have access to parts of his mind.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mago, Oregon? These things only happen in places like Kentucky and the state with Salt Lake City. I've completely forgotten the name of that state. Something with an I?

    ReplyDelete
  39. A cacti a day keeps the piles away.

    I should work in advertising.

    ReplyDelete
  40. ...indoor gardening can be a fun and rewarding hobby...
    S+S

    ReplyDelete
  41. In Kentucky its the chickens and at the shores of the salt lake the Mormons mumble. ItsUtah, as I just learned.

    Whether an ode to the cactus exists?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Sorry Pete, I forgot - Oregon because Ms. Nations is either travelling to this place or already has arrived there. I imagine Oregon as something ... empty. Flat. Maybe a cactus would be a nice ... distraction - ?

    ReplyDelete
  43. MAGO: Are there cactus in Oregon? And what is the correct plural of cactus?

    They have trailer parks in Oregon.

    Not so sure about cactus.

    The plural of cactus is cacti.

    Like the plural of penis is penii.

    WALTER: You cannot imagine what it's like for a man like me to not have access to parts of his mind.

    What have you done with Mob?

    CYBERPOOF & MAGO: I can’t keep up with your chit chat as I’m busy so carry on, the pair of you.

    GARFY: A cacti a day keeps the piles away.
    I should work in advertising.


    Set it to music and you have a catchy jingle for Preparation H.

    Are you itching to compose it?

    SERAPH + SPLENDOR: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Er, it’s not always this filthy around here. Just Fridays.

    *coughs*

    ...indoor gardening can be a fun and rewarding hobby...

    Indeed. Did you know that Infomaniac is actually a gardening blog?

    Yes, that’s right.

    *waits for nod of approval from the others*

    ReplyDelete
  44. Bananas. Its mostly about banans. And inflammable uteri.

    ReplyDelete
  45. What a splendid gardening blog Mistress MJ.

    My name is Patrick Chain and, due to my amazing ability to to card tricks which I learned as part of my psychology course at polytechnic, Walter has asked me to look into the disappearance of Mob

    ReplyDelete
  46. I plan to urinate in 23 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  47. My, my, what a little Prick!

    Darling, I've missed you and have been busy preparing for TVland...but I would NEVER miss Mistress MJ's Filthy Fridays.

    Thanks SO MUCH for giving a Diva something to look forward to! mwah!

    Shots for everyone! La Diva is in a grand mood! Cocksucker cowboy anyone?!

    ReplyDelete
  48. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  49. PS: You have an appointment to suck mango juice off someone's heroin-tracked arms:

    ladivacucina.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-season-bourdain-is-off-leash.html

    Sorry darling, it's not accepting my link!

    ReplyDelete
  50. MAGO: Bananas. Its mostly about banans. And inflammable uteri.

    Thank you very MUCH, Troublemaker.

    MENTAL TIT: What a splendid gardening blog Mistress MJ.
    My name is Patrick Chain and, due to my amazing ability to to card tricks which I learned as part of my psychology course at polytechnic, Walter has asked me to look into the disappearance of Mob


    What’s this up my sleeve?

    WALTER: I plan to urinate in 23 minutes.

    *slips in puddle*

    Damn. I’m too late.

    LA DIVA CUCINA: My, my, what a little Prick!
    Darling, I've missed you and have been busy preparing for TVland...but I would NEVER miss Mistress MJ's Filthy Fridays.
    Thanks SO MUCH for giving a Diva something to look forward to! mwah!
    Shots for everyone! La Diva is in a grand mood! Cocksucker cowboy anyone?!


    What or who has got into YOU?

    LA DIVA CUCINA: PS: You have an appointment to suck mango juice off someone's heroin-tracked arms:
    ladivacucina.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-season-bourdain-is-off-leash.html
    Sorry darling, it's not accepting my link!


    Oh no you di’int!

    If I find Tony Bourdain over there, I’ll faint.

    ReplyDelete