Monday, November 30, 2009

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.




THE PERV: David Truscott, 40, of of Redruth, Cornwall, England.

THE PLACE: A farm in Camborne, Cornwall.




THE PERVERSION: Manure fetish.

Truscott broke into a farm, covered himself in manure and was seen masturbating.

He climbed into the manure spreader vehicle - and was found wearing shiny red shorts, rubber gloves and playing in the slurry for "sexual reasons".

The court heard he’s regularly visited this farm for some five years.

The farmer first became suspicious that something odd was going on when he found a water trough filled with manure and tissues scattered around.

The farmer then saw the shape of what appeared to be someone’s bottom and two hand prints where manure had been piled up.

On one occasion a milking parlour had been entered and Truscott had stripped down to his underpants and climbed into a huge vat of manure.

Police who searched Truscott's home found 360 pairs of women's knickers and containers of liquid sludge and hard mud.

Truscott told the officers that he liked to sleep in women’s pyjamas.





THE PUNISHMENT: Charged with breaching the terms of a restraining order and jailed for 20 weeks.

Thanks to Yorkshire’s biggest poofs, Tazzy and Piggy for bringing this story to our attention.

33 comments:

  1. number one! oops, i mean number 2.

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  2. To each their own but ewwww.....

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  3. NORMADESMOND: number one! oops, i mean number 2.

    Your first first and shit happens.

    MAGO: A smelly fellow.

    This sort of thing doesn’t happen in Franconia.

    DAVID: To each their own but ewwww.....

    It’s the mysterious David again!

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  4. Truscott is the Minister Of Silly Perp Walks!

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  5. somebody didn't get the right kind of love growing up.

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  6. Well, I didn't see anything wrong here...until I read *this* part:

    "Truscott told the officers that he liked to sleep in women’s pyjamas."

    Sicko!

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  7. So that’s who has been breaking into my Milking Parlors!

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  8. Holey sh*t!!!

    I feel bad for the cops who had to arrest this turd!

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  9. He looks very unfortunate.

    How much jail time did he get for his fashion crimes?

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  10. I notice the picture of Frobishers Brown Rice Salad at the end ???
    This man is sicker than I thought

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  11. I want to know how the pile of manure got such great service? It got much better justice than any woman who tries to register a complaint for sexual harassment.

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  12. Judging by the size of those trousers, that perv had filled the legs with manure so he had something to 'do' on the long ride back.

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  13. Ewwww! That story stinks!

    In Yorkshire they say 'Nowt so queer as folk'...I think they're right.

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  14. I can sympathise with the manure - but women's pyjamas???!!
    Disgusting!

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  15. XL: Truscott is the Minister Of Silly Perp Walks!

    Or Silly Poop Walks.

    BOXER: somebody didn't get the right kind of love growing up.

    Call Dr. Phil!

    JASON: Well, I didn't see anything wrong here...until I read *this* part:
    "Truscott told the officers that he liked to sleep in women’s pyjamas."
    Sicko!


    But they’re the kind with feet!

    Who could resist?

    AYEM8Y: So that’s who has been breaking into my Milking Parlors!

    Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

    EROS: Holey sh*t!!!
    I feel bad for the cops who had to arrest this turd!


    Is your “i” key buggered up?

    CYBERPOOF: He looks very unfortunate.
    How much jail time did he get for his fashion crimes?


    At least he wasn’t wearing Crocs!

    BEAST: I notice the picture of Frobishers Brown Rice Salad at the end ???
    This man is sicker than I thought


    That’s Mr. Frobisher’s famous meatloaf.

    LULU: I want to know how the pile of manure got such great service? It got much better justice than any woman who tries to register a complaint for sexual harassment.

    The pile of manure spoke up and made a stink.

    IVD: Judging by the size of those trousers, that perv had filled the legs with manure so he had something to 'do' on the long ride back.

    And a big nappy under the trousers for extra storage.

    ROSES: Ewwww! That story stinks!
    In Yorkshire they say 'Nowt so queer as folk'...I think they're right.


    Allow me to consult my Yorkshire-English Dictionary.

    KAZ: I can sympathise with the manure - but women's pyjamas???!!
    Disgusting!


    We’re thankful he’s not into childrens pyjamas!

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  16. Hey whatever floats yer boat.
    He wasn't hurting anyone..except for tainting every male on the planet as a mindless perverted freakish asshat.

    This poor bugger is an object for our pity and not our scorn :)
    but he obviously knows sh*t about anatomy.

    No doubt his lawyer will somehow lay the blame on his Mommy who forced him to live in the bottom of the outhouse during his formative years. The only warmth that he ever received was from his environment.

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  17. According to my phrenology textbook, the centre-part hairstyling should have sounded off alarms years ago...
    it's is a dead-give-away that something is not quite right.

    Just sayin' is all.

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  18. DONN: Hey whatever floats yer boat.
    He wasn't hurting anyone..except for tainting every male on the planet as a mindless perverted freakish asshat.
    This poor bugger is an object for our pity and not our scorn :)
    but he obviously knows sh*t about anatomy.
    No doubt his lawyer will somehow lay the blame on his Mommy who forced him to live in the bottom of the outhouse during his formative years. The only warmth that he ever received was from his environment.


    Remember this guy with the so-called ‘outhouse problem’?

    DONN: According to my phrenology textbook, the centre-part hairstyling should have sounded off alarms years ago...
    it's is a dead-give-away that something is not quite right.
    Just sayin' is all.


    I’ll scream if it’s long in the back.

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  19. I stopped at "shiny red shorts"...

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  20. I quite like it in late Summer when the farmer's are out muck spreading the fields, and the air is filled with the tang of rotting shit. Reminiscent of the cheese counter at Morrisons.

    I wonder what type of women's pyjamas they were. Hopefully not those with mandarin collars, ugh, I can't abide mandarin collars.

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  21. JILL: I stopped at "shiny red shorts"...

    But you missed the rubber gloves!

    Unless, of course, you have a rubber glove phobia?

    CYBERPOOF: Pox on Crocs!

    Yes, a Pox on Crocs!

    MITZI: I quite like it in late Summer when the farmer's are out muck spreading the fields, and the air is filled with the tang of rotting shit. Reminiscent of the cheese counter at Morrisons.
    I wonder what type of women's pyjamas they were. Hopefully not those with mandarin collars, ugh, I can't abide mandarin collars.


    I should like to stand around the cheese counter at Morrison’s shouting, “Who cut the cheese?”

    Speaking of pyjama parties, did you see what happened at my last pyjama party?

    Honestly, those boys have NO self-control.

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  22. Watch out for the latest outraged media campaign - to have laws passed against...being filthy in flith.

    Doing pervy shit in shit.

    Freerange turdburgling.

    (Did he have a shower afterwards? or was it a shower of shit?)

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  23. But doesn't manure make stalks grow bigger?

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  24. I wonder if Truscott would like to buy a pair of gently used LL Bean duck boots?

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  25. I think this all goes back to his potty training days...

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  26. Have any of you ever like smelt andb experienced slurry? I used to work on farm - man like holy fuck...

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  27. Well, you know I'm a fan of fetishes and fetishists, but this one I'll have to give a pass...

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  28. KAPI: Watch out for the latest outraged media campaign - to have laws passed against...being filthy in flith.
    Doing pervy shit in shit.
    Freerange turdburgling.
    (Did he have a shower afterwards? or was it a shower of shit?)


    Somewhere in Infomaniac’s archives lies a photo of IVD as a turd burglar.

    These new laws…

    Will they require a helmet?

    GEOFF: But doesn't manure make stalks grow bigger?

    Shall I consult with Alan Titchmarsh?

    XL: I wonder if Truscott would like to buy a pair of gently used LL Bean duck boots?

    FedEx your boots to him immediately.

    And do NOT replace them with more of the same.

    RANDOM: I think this all goes back to his potty training days...

    Let that be a lesson to you as a mother.

    As if you don’t have enough on your plate.

    MANUEL: nice....

    ‘Tis.

    MUTLEY: Have any of you ever like smelt andb experienced slurry? I used to work on farm - man like holy fuck...

    Mistress MJ was raised a farm girl.

    My favourite smell to this day is barn smell.

    But you won’t catch me shoveling slurry into my drawers.

    LEAH: Well, you know I'm a fan of fetishes and fetishists, but this one I'll have to give a pass...

    Shall I arrange for more jowly old men for you?

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  29. My parfume of the day was eau d'horse barn... Very aromatic! It's one of my faves.

    PS - Thunder says Hay!

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  30. PONITA: My parfume of the day was eau d'horse barn... Very aromatic! It's one of my faves.
    PS - Thunder says Hay!


    Hello Thunder the Wonder Horse!

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