Monday, November 02, 2009

Charles and Camilla Do Canada

Prince Charles and his wife Camilla arrive in Canada today on an 11-day whirlwind coast-to-coast tour.




They’ll be doing the usual things that visiting Royals do: wreath-laying, tree planting ceremonies, meeting with talking heads, dinners with dignitaries, and inspecting the troops …




It all sounds rather dull, don’t you agree?

And we Canadians are a tad ho-hum about it all.

So what would you suggest to liven up their itinerary?

34 comments:

  1. Yay! First!

    Someone please, please, please kidnap the fuckers and lock them up in a cupboard.

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  2. "So what would you suggest to liven up their itinerary?"

    Hominid inbreeding.

    3rd!

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  3. Ummm me thinks they should go to baskin robbins and new york fries and they should send me some grape crush and twizzlers

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  4. Don't Piggy and Tazzy count as one? They are, after all, joined at the (ahem) hip... so to speak.

    That would make you second, XL. Oh, and... Hai!

    I guess Charles wanted a solid, workaday mount, so he ditched Diana, young filly that she was, and tacked up Camilla. Her Royal Horseface.

    Thank gawd those two are past the age of reproduction... ew.

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  5. Is it wrong that I find Charles in a kilt kind of sexy? Maybe it's just that staff.

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  6. PIGGY: Yay! First!
    Someone please, please, please kidnap the fuckers and lock them up in a cupboard.


    Surely you want them sent home to you safe and sound?

    And wouldn’t his mummy miss him?

    XL: "So what would you suggest to liven up their itinerary?"
    Hominid inbreeding.
    3rd!


    Piggy’s the mouthpiece 98% of the time as Tazzy can’t get a word in edgewise.

    So you’re actually second.

    JELLY MONSTER: Ummm me thinks they should go to baskin robbins and new york fries and they should send me some grape crush and twizzlers

    Are you feeling deprived over there in Ireland?

    Couldn’t you just munch on a potato?

    PONITA: Don't Piggy and Tazzy count as one? They are, after all, joined at the (ahem) hip... so to speak.
    That would make you second, XL. Oh, and... Hai!
    I guess Charles wanted a solid, workaday mount, so he ditched Diana, young filly that she was, and tacked up Camilla. Her Royal Horseface.
    Thank gawd those two are past the age of reproduction... ew.


    Which two?

    Tazzy and Piggy?

    JASON: Is it wrong that I find Charles in a kilt kind of sexy? Maybe it's just that staff.

    Mistress MJ is making you Official Kilt Inspector.

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  7. There must be an official hemline etiquette for kilts, right?

    Either his royal highness isn't obeying it or it needs to be revised. We can almost see the royal sceptor and orbs.

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  8. Bwah hah hah haa @ 'Petra's comment!

    Wouldn't a trip to your plaid room, or oubliette liven things up, MJ?

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  9. I have sent a link from your page to Charles. He tells me that he now no longer plans to visit you. I won't tell you what he called you.

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  10. Liven things up?
    How about some parachute jumping without a parachute?
    I love your pictures.

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  11. Wait, only 11 days? I thought the quarantine period was longer for horses coming into Canada.

    I'm sure Chuck and Cam will enjoy speaking to the natives--well, Chuck for sure.

    Perhaps a trip to Tim Hortons for some authentic Canadian food would liven up their itinerary. And isn't it time for the annual seal pup hunt? I'm sure they'd love to take part in that! And if they happen to fall off the glacier and are never seen again, well, that just means Canada just got closer to sitting one of it's own on the throne! Just a few more to knock out of the way...

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  12. Charles and his wife are slated to spend 10 days in Canada in early November
    ...sounds lively enough if Chaz and Milla are going to be slated...
    Sx

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  13. Arrange for them to meet Sarah Palin.

    Tell her he's the king of England and she's his gay-marriage partner. Tell them she's...well, that mad woman from Canada.

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  14. CYBERPOOF: There must be an official hemline etiquette for kilts, right?
    Either his royal highness isn't obeying it or it needs to be revised. We can almost see the royal sceptor and orbs.


    Do you think this hemline is too short?

    IVD: Bwah hah hah haa @ 'Petra's comment!
    Wouldn't a trip to your plaid room, or oubliette liven things up, MJ?


    Please don’t encourage Petra or he’ll back with loads more comments and frankly, I have to work all day and simply can’t be here to monitor his jabberings.

    How about sending them to the Polka Dot Room where they’ll be forced to obey the Polka Dot Queen?

    VICUS: I have sent a link from your page to Charles. He tells me that he now no longer plans to visit you. I won't tell you what he called you.

    But I baked a cake!

    KAZ: Liven things up?
    How about some parachute jumping without a parachute?
    I love your pictures.


    And bungee jumping with a slack cord.

    So glad you approve of the Royal photos.

    You may have seen this one of the old bag?

    EROS: Wait, only 11 days? I thought the quarantine period was longer for horses coming into Canada.
    I'm sure Chuck and Cam will enjoy speaking to the natives--well, Chuck for sure.
    Perhaps a trip to Tim Hortons for some authentic Canadian food would liven up their itinerary. And isn't it time for the annual seal pup hunt? I'm sure they'd love to take part in that! And if they happen to fall off the glacier and are never seen again, well, that just means Canada just got closer to sitting one of it's own on the throne! Just a few more to knock out of the way...


    Here she is getting the official word on the quarantine straight from the horse’s mouth.

    SCARLET: Charles and his wife are slated to spend 10 days in Canada in early November
    ...sounds lively enough if Chaz and Milla are going to be slated...


    We love the nicknames you come up with across The Pond…

    Chaz or Chazza for Charles…Macca for Paul McCartney, etc.

    Over here he’s nicknamed Chuck.

    KAPI: Arrange for them to meet Sarah Palin.
    Tell her he's the king of England and she's his gay-marriage partner. Tell them she's...well, that mad woman from Canada.


    Did you miss the memo?

    The memo in which we ordered you lot to “Please don’t ever speak of her again.”

    You may read it here in my comment to Jill.

    Don’t let it happen again.

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  15. I would love to go on a whirlwind tour like this. Think they'd mind if I tag along?

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  16. But who is paying for this trip anyway? Yes, that's right you and I. Joe Muggins the tax payer, that's who. Was I invited along? No I wasn't. So fuck em!

    It's quite common for royal princes to marry and take on a mistress half as attractive. For example beautiful trophy wife Diana was the wife, Camilla the mule was the mistress, now Camilla is the wife, who will be his new mistress?

    Potential Mistresses for Charles:

    Olive from On The Buses
    Maureen Rees From Driving School
    Ann Widdecombe MP
    Susan Boyle
    Margaret Beckett
    Janine Duvitski
    Madge from Benidorm
    Jackie Stallone
    Pearl from Last Of The Summer Wine
    Janice Battersby from Corrie

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  17. MICHAEL RIVERS: I would love to go on a whirlwind tour like this. Think they'd mind if I tag along?

    You could show them your Fleshjack!

    MITZI: But who is paying for this trip anyway? Yes, that's right you and I. Joe Muggins the tax payer, that's who. Was I invited along? No I wasn't. So fuck em!

    It's quite common for royal princes to marry and take on a mistress half as attractive. For example beautiful trophy wife Diana was the wife, Camilla the mule was the mistress, now Camilla is the wife, who will be his new mistress?

    Potential Mistresses for Charles:

    Olive from On The Buses
    Maureen Rees From Driving School
    Ann Widdecombe MP
    Susan Boyle
    Margaret Beckett
    Janine Duvitski
    Madge from Benidorm
    Jackie Stallone
    Pearl from Last Of The Summer Wine
    Janice Battersby from Corrie


    I’d rather have Princess Mitzi than Prince Charles but I wasn’t consulted.

    Excellent suggestions for Charles’ potential mistress!

    Margaret Beckett looks too much like his sister Anne though, wouldn’t you say?

    I had to Google Maureen Rees. Good lord.

    Janice Battersby has lost 2 ½ stone, hoping that he’ll take notice.

    Though it looks like he’s given a pearl necklace to Susan Boyle.

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  18. i've never seen this photo of the couple...it's a doozy! now i understand.....charles had a thing for his sister, hence camilla.

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  19. NORMADESMOND: i've never seen this photo of the couple...it's a doozy! now i understand.....charles had a thing for his sister, hence camilla.

    We assume you’ve heard of their famous telephone conversation in which a besmitten Charles murmurs that he would like to “live inside your trousers, possibly as a tampon.”

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  20. LATEST FROM BIG BEN ON TWITTER!!!

    BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG!

    http://twitter.com/big_ben_clock

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  21. Ooops I put an extra BONG in there but never mind, it's right now!

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  22. GINRO: If you’ll pardon me, I’m going to take a hit off that BONG now.

    It could be several hours before I return.

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  23. Oddly enough no that's a fine hemline for him. Royals have a different standard...

    As for your comment to IDV I could stop comin 'round if it pleases you?

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  24. CYBERPOOF: BONG BONG BONG

    I can't hear you!

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  25. Funnily enough, I have that picture that you linked to in reply to 'Petra on a coaster at work. I like to keep his bum warm with my mug.

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  26. I should have seen that coming, as the actress said to the bishop, lol.

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  27. Dont blame me if you all end up languishing in the tower......just sayin

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  28. Is there a Canadian Three Degrees tribute band?

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  29. IVD: Funnily enough, I have that picture that you linked to in reply to 'Petra on a coaster at work. I like to keep his bum warm with my mug.

    So you have a coaster with a kilt-lifting Scot on it at work yet you can’t access my blog.

    Harumph.

    GINRO: I should have seen that coming, as the actress said to the bishop, lol.

    Thank you for being Mistress MJ’s straight man.

    BEAST: Dont blame me if you all end up languishing in the tower......just sayin

    Heads will roll.

    GEOFF: Is there a Canadian Three Degrees tribute band?

    They’ll have to make do with Nearly Neil.

    CYBERPOOF: ...

    Hush.

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  30. yes mistress, i know of that fateful phone call....wonderful, isn't it?

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  31. NORMADESMOND: Who says romance is dead?

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  32. Wow..I think that Mitzi is on to something with that 50% rule for mistresses and Susan Boyle..
    if she ever gets released from the nervous hospital she could become the Douchey of Cornhole.

    btw: I am coveting those photos..
    do NOT be surprised if you see them on someone else's blog...tomorrowish.

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  33. Mistress MJ, I DO SO miss news about the Royals! They just don't get the coverage in the U.S. of A. like they did in 'Straylia, naturally.

    And that last photo of Camilla is JUST LOVELY! Really captures her spirit!

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