Monday, July 30, 2007

World’s Biggest Underpants Competition

One of you lucky bitches could win the World’s Largest Underpants!

These 100% cotton, 100" (254 cm) waist underpants stretch the definition of briefs. Each high-quality undergarment has a convenient double flap in the front and a sturdy elastic band to fit around the waist for maximum comfort. They come in the traditional white only and will shrink a bit after washing. Clear acetate box with illustrated insert.

Unlike The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, the World’s Biggest Underpants have not been worn by dozens of other bloggers. In fact, they’re mint in the box!

How to Enter: Tell me why YOU should be the recipient of the World’s Biggest Underpants and tell me what you'll do with them once you win them. Enter as often as you wish until contest closes.

Deadline: Tuesday, July 31, 2007. 10 p.m. PST. (For you lot in the UK, that’s 6:00 a.m. Wednesday, August 1. The rest of you in other time zones, figure it out for yourselves.)

Winner to be Announced: Shortly after the deadline.

Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Enter now!


  1. Yay! First!

    But I thought SID already owned the worlds biggest underpants?

    I know Stevey Smunt's are big, but SID's are slightly bigger.

  2. Besides, SID should win them.

    1) They'll fit him nice and snug.

    2) His old ones are rather grey and moth-eaten now.

    3) SB will be pleased that he has some fresh ones at last.

    4) SB will be pleased that he has some without the tell-tale piss stains at last.

    *declares SID the winner and prompts MJ into posting something much more worthwhile than daft contests that allow her to post fuck all else for a week*

  3. PIGGY: Yes, you're right. The world's biggest underpants belong to SID. I rummaged around in his drawers. He'll never notice they're missing as he has so many packets of huge underpants.

    I've changed the deadline so it will be over faster and I can post something else soon.

    Happy now?

    I'm surprised you don't want the big undies for yourself. Afterall, you and Tazzy will be visiting Smunty the Cabin Boy next week. I'd have thought the 3 of you would enjoy wearing the big pants and performing filthy homosexual acts in them behind Carly's back.

    Dirty pervs.

    p.s. Those stains on SID's pants? That's not piss.

  4. Nah, those pants are too impractical. They wouldn't fit in a washing machine and you'd have to take them for a specialist clean along with your duvet. Why would you want the staff at the drycleaners to see your skidmarks (which would probably look as if someone had ridden a dirt track bike over them)?

    Anyway, I always buy shocking pink nylon thongs with saucy messages on the front from Dartford market (£1 for ten pairs).

  5. BETTY: Show us your knickers!

    Piggy has skidmarks on his duvet. And Smunty the Cabin Boy handwashes Piggy's smalls.

    Okay, bitches, I'm outta here for several hours. Behave yourselves.

  6. Those would be great for Poker night. I could wear two sets of Depends underneath and stay at the table for atleast 18 hours...hey, they could rebrand the 18 hour girdle to incorporate these modifications!
    Dammit where is my patent lawyer's number...

  7. can't be bothered to participate

    maybe because they fit so well with Trinny and Suzannes rules?

  8. I should win them as I would live in them and that would be heaven.... oh..did you say they are not pre-worn?

  9. Lawks! Trinny and Tranny aren't here, are they?!

    * quickly does hair and rifles through wardrobe for most flattering outfit *

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  11. HE: So you want the big underpants? Because so far, you are making more sense than the rest of this crew and besides, it wouldn't cost me as much to ship them to Winterpeg as it would to the UK.

    SID: No you didn't win. The contest isn't over yet.

    May I remind you that your entry must be posted by YOU. Not by a couple of Yorkshire cunts.

    Besides, you have 50 pair just like them at home.

    And I think this pair might be a little snug on you.

    CYBERPETE: Face it. You don't know what shoes to wear with them.

    MUTLEY: I could arrange to wear them before I send them to you if that's a deciding factor.

    IVD: Most flattering outfit?

    Anything but that stripey top of yours. Haven't you burned that yet?

  12. Got any darker colours to hide stains?

  13. Not that I'm one to gossip or anything, but...

    Carly actually thought you'd nicked them from her knicker drawer when she wasn't looking.

    Or that Steve had posted them to you.

    So Steve told me this morning.

  14. are they amazing underpants? like these?
    i only wear amazing underpants.

  15. KNUDSEN: They're also available in plaid.

    In honour of your heritage.

    PIGGY: I nicked the World's Biggest Bra from Carly.

    FN: You wear amazing underpants?

    I hope you use them for the power of good rather than evil.

    Do they give you any special superpowers like x-ray vision or mind control?

  16. I think they go best with a pair of bright yellow plastic Y sandals and a filthy tracksuit

    hardly for us gays though, no easy access

  17. CYBERPETE: No easy access, you say?

    Just turn them around so the flap is in the back.