Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Humor Blogs

Surely you’re wondering why Mistress MJ spelled “Humour” without the “u.” It is because this post is written by our AMERICAN friend, Ms. First Nations. Listen up, Bitches. Ms. Nations has a request to make of you…

So I just dumped a humor blog I've been reading for the past 4 years. It started out funny. It turned into the whiny ranting of an aging, bitter conservative with shit taste in music. Of course I mean Infoman...Of course I mean the Vest Wirginia Rurf Seport. Not Infomaniac. Heavens no.

Might any of you rubicund, silky, adorable Bitches be able to recommend a new daily humor blog?

One that would better suit my discriminating tastes; i.e racist dead baby nudity, anarcho-syndicalism with robots, drugs, naked sex, tiny cars, naked Socialists, totally naked gardening advice, baby Jesus, armed hipsters, penises, baking, Spirit of '67 skins, rednecks, Harvey Pekar, Nyarlathotep, elderly African-American men playing electric guitars, naked nakedness, leather jackets, motorcycles, Jazz, Electronica, Metal, Blues, naked, smoking cigarettes, drinking whiskey out the neck of the bottle, Brazilian women, and tacos.

Note from Mistress MJ: This clip shows Ms. Nations on a GOOD day …


  1. i would recommend you start such a blog, for you seem to be an american-who-knows. have at it

  2. Well there once was a Blog that I used to read... It was written by a highly intelligent and humorous bitch that had a knack for turning old bathroom fittings into garden planters as I recall...It was called
    "Paul because Paul is very nice name"
    It was jam packed with all the types of things that Ms Nations seems to be seeking in her reading pursuits.
    Sadly the bitch got lazy... or got a life... or got a lazy life or wandered off into a laudanum induced haze... Who Knows? I certainly don't... but her writing just suddenly stopped... as if nobody wanted to read her erudite life observations, historical meanderings or diatribes on the joys of self sufficiency while being constantly in a high state of arousal.... awaiting an imminent invasion of Darleks, Cows and/or The Canadian Army... Ha! does Canadia even have an army?

    Anyway... I would have recommended a visit... but what's the point?

  3. Oh my dear, this "video" is in no way comparable with lovely First Nations. She may be sophisticated, even demanding, sometimes incoherent, but even when she smashes her motorcycle in another laudanum driven outburst into the potty planter proudly displaying both of my crawats - she is never ridiculous. Even on one of her (rare) not so good days she can sweep the floor with the dacalcomania picture in this imposition from France, a sad and shameful waste of precious webspace.
    Regarding the question - all FN requests can be found in the Daily Mail Female Section.

  4. *blushing like a virgin, whatever that is*

    Thank you Mago! *spares Franconia from the coming Native American Apocalypse*

    And thank you too, Princess. Aw gawrsh. *spraypaints 'next house' on Prinny's lintel as well*

  5. Kabuki, been there, done that, got the novelty underpants, want to become romantically involved with the awesome retro chair in your avatar.

  6. Nightmare Vagina Trends: Luxury Merkins made of Fur, one of the headlines for GAWKER combining humor with important news like this. D'LISTED also give you news written by a whacked out queen obsessed with nipples and their place in the world. Both blogs are suitable because they would be offensive and vulgar to most people thus suitable for folks who follow this blog.

  7. ... read "spraypaints" as "spraypants" ...

  8. I have to be honest ... wait, no I don't. This is the internet. I can lie as much as I want to.

    Anyway, I truly don't know any such blogs as you have described. I know they are out there, but I have never been able to keep up with the daily reading of them. I prefer blogs about farting.

  9. You want cake, Epic Fail.

  10. it may not get more amusing than right here.

  11. The most amazing things we would find, could we only dissect Ms Nation's brain!!!

    Unfortunately, this little exiled Quarter-Mohawk cannot mesure up to Ms N's demanding expectations. I was raised a good catholic French-Canadian boy who was taught that women must remain virgin and I that I, most of all, must give my life to Jesus. I guess that is why I masturbate while looking at this awesome poster of Jesus that hanged on my bedroom wall just above my bed while growing up. Imagine my dissapointment when I learned that it was not the real Jesus but actually Jeffrey Hunter in the movie The King of King! That just a few years after I learned that Santa Claus didn't exist.

    My two biggest sexual fantasies... I'm still traumatized by all this...

    Am I off topic here?

  12. Don't bogart that laudanum, FN.

  13. TB: Win! Both blogs are completely me baby! Thank you and muchas smooches!!!

    Mago: hey now.

    Epicfail: dude totally needs cake.

    Mago: like I said.

    Norma: It may not, but then you speak as someone who can always grab the butler and go bury a monkey in your backyard anytime you want to. me, I have standing water around three sides of my property. No monkey funerals FOR ME.

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  15. Coppens: holy shit dude, here...


    ...I mean seriously lil' alt brother. These are our children and they kick serious ass. Refreshingly free of our generations' skeptics guilt and the sad Onionesque dork-bravado social commentary that engendered. BB just did a fantastic weeklong feature on Robert Anton Wilson, for starters. Issac Asimov graffitti, SOPA-PIPA coverage, Freuds' weird chair,butt biometrics, intelligent textiles... GO FORTH YOUNG CHEEZER. Embrace the Boing.

    Or at least sniff it a little.

    Maybe lick it.

  16. p.s I take it thats a 'no'.


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  18. ...WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? Put the bong DOWN, Coppens. Back away slooooooooowly.

    I'm *snif* just looking for a link to a daily humor blog! *snif* and I was just...asking *snif* for a link, so I could go and...*snif* get humor! Because the WVSR tanked! And I just...*snif*

  19. ...So. Anyone got any links to good humor sites they'd like to pass along?

  20. *passes kleenex box to FN*

    What amazing things we would find, could we only dissect Donn's brain!

  21. Can't we all just get along?

    *offers free cake and vodka*

  22. Double Martini please..extra dirty!

    I forget my place Madame,
    I am your guest here.

    Love you Nations,
    you crack me up!

  23. Oh thank FUCK for that!

    Tickle fight with Donn!

  24. Why not try downedalbitros.blogspot.com for the time when i'd to perform an abortion on my girlfriend using a leafblower thrown in reverse cos we couldnt afford to go to manchester to get a real one due to (land of my birth's) n.ireland's (god's country's) laws on cell division (and the elimination thereof) being so medieval. its funny, cos its topical in the age of austerity (can't afford three triplets at once), and its vital cos its advocating the depopulation/can't-pay-won't-lay(without sterilization) depopulation agenda...vital work for a vicious time.............................
    look up 'Kimba' down the tags on the column on the right for elaboration...............

  25. None of the allegedly funny blogs I have followed ever stayed funny. It must be some kind of law to run out of funny after X number of months.

    Hyperbole and a Half doesn't get updated anymore, but the stuff in the archives is amusing.

    Yeah, I got nothin'.

  26. I've got plenty, but they're in French!