Top 10 Searches

Let's have a look at the top 10 search terms that led unsuspecting folk to Infomaniac, shall we?

1. penis
Penis, wenis, willy...call it what you will. Obviously you've come to the right place if you're searching for it, whoever you are. Although until you introduce yourself properly, we're not going to show you any...


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2. Japanese women
This isn't something you'd expect to find on Infomaniac yet it's the second most common search term. Perhaps they were looking for Japanese Women's Wrestling or the photo in this post of hundreds of nude Japanese women queueing up as film extras. Or the photo in this post of “Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fighting.” In any case, a LOT of people want to see Japanese women...apparently.

3. big balls
Big, small, we've got 'em all. Here on Infomaniac.

4. nekkid

Sometimes we leave our socks on but usually you can find what you're looking for.

5. infomaniac
Ask for it by name.

6. pubes
There's a tag for that.

7. wenis
That's what Wednesday's are all about!

8. ginger pubes
More about this later.

9. foreskin
It's all about what you can do with it, isn't it?

10. deformed penis
The drama and the trauma.

And now, the Top 3 Infomaniac Posts which have had the most hits...

Filthy Friday - Ginger Pubes

Over 22,000 hits from what I'm assuming are ginger lovers. I'm certainly not one of them. But que sera, sera.


TOXIC TOTTY: Corrie's Gail Platt
Do not click on the link above unless you wish to see Coronation Street's Gail McIntyre (née Potter; previously Tilsley, Platt and Hillman) holidaying topless. Apparently, according to my stats, over 21,000 people WANT to see Gail Platt's tits! More than want to see Johnny Depp naked.

Naked Men Fishing
We think some of you might enjoy this one as much as the 18,594 people who've actively sought it out. Well, the first photo anyway.

What about you, Bitches? What search terms pop up most often for your blogs?

Meanwhile, Back at the Infomaniac House of Beauty...

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Prevent "turkey neck" with the Cleopatra Mask.

Now with Wings. 

Right This Way, Your Table's Waiting

43 signs that you're ready for a room at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home:

Right this way. We've been waiting for you...

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43. Aching feet
42. Failing eyesight
41. Everything taking at least ten minutes longer than you planned
40. Frequent late-night urination
39. Cracking sound each time you stand up
38. Ear hair
37. Nose hair
36. Head hair (in sink/shower)
35. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you."
34. "Just resting my eyes."
33. Unreliable memory
33. Ultra-reliable memory (i.e. increasingly frequent and vivid memories of things you've long since forgotten rushing in at inappropriate times)
32. "10th Anniversary Edition"
31. "Deluxe 20th Anniversary Edition"
30."Special 25th Anniversary Commemorative Edition"
29. Punk kids getting nostalgic about the Nickelodeon cartoons of a few years back
28. Current Nickelodeon cartoons
27. "Like" and "share"
26. Having to learn what "twerking" is
25. Having to think about whether or not you should eat that
24. Regretting your decision to have eaten that
23. Knowing that the rest of your life will be spent watching other people eat that with abandon while you have something considerably less flavorful
22. Not caring enough to get upset about someone else's success
21. Feeling sympathy when unfortunate events happen to people you spent a long time disliking
20. "Has that spot always been there?"
19. Coming to realize that if something hurts it is probably just going to hurt from now on
18. Coming to realize that pretty much everything hurts
17. "Can't you turn that down?"
16. Crossing the street when you see a large group of boisterous young people heading towards you
15. Being invisible to the large group of boisterous young people heading towards you
14. Classifying large segments of the population as "young people"
13. Inability to be boisterous
12. Thinking "it's kind of late" after 9 PM
11. Waiting until 10 PM so you can go to bed without feeling extra lame
10. Waking up at 5 AM and knowing you can either lie there for another hour or get up and start your day, because the one goddamn thing that's NOT going to happen is you falling back asleep
9. The death of older relatives
8. The death of your friends' parents
7. The death of your own parents
6. The death of your friends
5. The death of the hopes, dreams and ambitions you still somehow thought possible even after it made any sense to
4. The strange acceptance that descends after you've had enough time to understand that the death of the hopes, dreams and ambitions you still somehow thought possible even after it made any sense to is for real 
3. The understanding that you are not that far off from your own demise, at which point everything you've experienced will be wiped away as your complete insignificance becomes one with the end of your consciousness
2. The strange acceptance of the futility of your own existence and its imminent cessation
1. "Decaf"
[list found here]

How many signs are you exhibiting, Bitches?

Shitty Saturday

Well, THIS day was a total waste of makeup!



Mistress MJ will return soon when her mood improves.

Happy 50th, Jon!

No matter how you slice it...







You take the cake, Jon.

Happy birthday from we here at Infomaniac!

Kilt Inspection

Readers of LX's blog have been told that LX is supposedly taking a wee holiday in Scotland this week.

What you don't know is that Mistress MJ has dispatched Agent "MacLX" to Scotland to research the answer to the question, "What do Scots wear under their kilts?"

Agent MacLX has completed his task and submitted THESE revealing photos to share with you...


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Thank you (thenk ye!) intrepid Agent MacLX, for taking on this daunting research assignment.

Filthy Friday - Bus Stop Edition

Waiting to board the Infomaniac Magic Bus...


[thanks, AyeM8y!]

That's the way the whole thing started
Silly but it's true
Thinkin' of a sweet romance
Beginning in a queue
-- Bus Stop by The Hollies

World Middle Finger Day

August 1st is World Middle Finger Day.



The folks here "are initiating a global day to celebrate the freedom to object, using the most univeral gesture of discontent or protest: The Middle Finger.

We've all got something that annoys the hell out of us. Or outrages us. Whatever it is, big or small, on August 1: Give 'em the finger!"

How will you be using your middle finger today?

The Redundant Variety Hour is Back!

Jump for joy!


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Thombeau's REDUNDANT VARIETY HOUR is back!

Celebrating the Golden Age of the Television Variety Hour ... for better or worse!

Mr. Cookie's Welcoming Committee

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"Over HERE, Cookie!"

 "Pick ME! Pick MEEEE!"

Such are the cheers of the Cookie Welcoming Committee...1,000 and counting!

We can only assume that Mr. Cookie and "The Cookie Monster" (below) have installed a revolving door.



Or a "billions served" sign...



Read all about it here.

Nose Waxing

For your DIY nose hair removal needs, look no further than Nad's Nose Wax...



NAD'S. You heard me right, Bitches.

Follow these 5 simple steps to hair-free nostrils:

1. Heat Nad's Nose Wax in the microwave.

2. Dip the SAFETIP™ end of the applicator into the Nad’s Nose wax.

3. Insert the SAFETIP™ applicator into the nostril.

4. Let the wax cool inside the nostril for 1 1/2 -2 minutes.

5. Hold the stem of the applicator tightly and pull down in one swift movement.



Instructive video clip here.

Kit also contains "Calming Oil Wipes" and moustache stencils for men who want to protect their taches from the wax.

Nad's Nose Wax doubles as a deep pore cleanser.

Would you use it?

JJ Cale

Singer/songwriter JJ Cale has died.


[photo by Jane Richey]

Cale was the soundtrack to many of Mistress MJ's most memorable moments. "Magnolia" was one of them...

Wieners Galore

Congratulations! You are the lucky wiener of a weekend at the Infomaniac House of Beauty.


[thanks, Thom!]

Filthy Friday

If the shoe fits...

Public Service Announcement #23

If you have delicate skin like our kabuki zero...



...you may benefit from a parasol.

Or you could grab your umbrella...


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A recent study shows that umbrellas are almost as effective as sunscreen where UV protection is concerned.

“Umbrellas aren’t perfect, so you should use them to complement the sunscreen you’re already wearing,” say the study's authors.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Happy Birthday, Jason!

In all the fuss over the Royal Baby and Mr. Peenee's blogiversary, we here at Infomaniac neglected to wish JASON a happy birthday.



Happy birthday from all of us, Jason!

Wanking Wednesday

In case you forgot to do it on Tuesday or you can't wait until Thursday...


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Wank on Wednesday!

Royal Baby Boy

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Just in case you missed the news.

New from D&G

Typical Dolce and Gabbana advertisement...



Dolce and Gabbana, an Italian luxury industry fashion house, are known for their sexy ads.

We would like to suggest THIS as a submission to their next advertising campaign...

What Colour is Your Pee?

We here at Infomaniac know that you're bursting to answer this question immediately but first, go empty your bladder and make observations.

Consult the chart below and report back to us.



Now you may comment.

And remember to keep hydrated.