Filthy Friday - The Crimbo Edition

I was all set to post a pic of a run-of-the-mill floppy willy or a garden-variety diseased minge here today. That is until Beast put the pressure on to post a Crimbo-themed Filthy Friday pic. So here it is…





Right. It’s not all that filthy on the surface so I’ll leave it up to your deviant little minds to tell us what’s really going on in this winter wonderland scene.

Happy Birthday, SID!

Happy Birthday, you filthy Irish bastard!


They said it was baby fat. They said he’d grow out of it.




Fast forward to adulthood…




A grown-up, blimpish, Brobdingnagian SID was the inspiration for Mr. Stay Puft from the movie Ghostbusters.




Why, you ask, am I such a devoted SIDophile?


Is it his fat, lumpy, wobbly arse?





Dead sexy




Is it his bald patch?




Patch is partially concealed by this product.




Is it his man boobs?
(Click the link above to see his moobs…I dare not post them again lest sensitive viewers regurgitate.)


Is it my beloved "Wee SID?"



Is it his Rebel Without A Cause attitude as he speeds down the motorway?






Yes, it’s all of the above but it’s SO much more. So much more that space doesn’t allow but I’ll let you in on a secret.

I love the way SID fills out a nappy…
















Balloon dance optional





“Wee SID” lights up in celebration



Everyone help yourselves to cake while I blow out the candle!!!






Happy Birthday to our Stupid Irish Daddy.

First round's on me. Sláinte!

Open Wide

I have a dental appointment today.





The kind-hearted amongst you will applaud me for maintaining good oral hygiene practices.

The vicious amongst you will relate your tales of...

DENTAL HORROR!

Either way, I’m prepared.

How Not to Decorate

Welcome to the second installment in Infomaniac’s new series entitled, “How Not to Decorate.”

This series is your window of opportunity to view some of my ghastly home decor.

Todays topic…

GNOMES

Chez Infomaniac there are exterior garden gnomes (pictured above) AND interior gnomes.

Voice your opinions on gnomes here.


Note: Do you have an item in your house that can top my gnome for its crap design appeal?

Email a photo of it to me and I’ll collect enough pics to do a posting of Infomaniac readers’ shite. So far one reader has made a submission. Keep ‘em coming.

Burberry Gone Bad

Book Title of the Day

How People Who Don't Know They're Dead Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It.

Filthy Friday

(click for bigger balls)


Note to Betty and Garfer: I promised you a man with three testicles and I delivered.

Happy Birthday, Geoff!

Infomaniac presents:

Geoff Through the Ages: The Man Who Would Be a Blogger

























Over to you now, bitches.

Why was Geoff such a miserable baby?

Why the bemused look as a youth?

What kind of man has he become?

p.s. Sorry ladies. He’s Betty’s.

Croc Horror

You're all familiar with my rage against Crocs.



regular, hideously-ugly Crocs


Just when I thought the world's ugliest summer shoe was safely tucked away for the winter, the uglification has been bumped up a notch with the introduction of Mammoth Crocs.

Imagine if Ugg boots threw up into a pair of regular Crocs. That is what Mammoth Crocs look like.




Mammoth Crocs



The fleece-lined Mammoth Crocs are intended to be worn in the winter months (by men, women and children) to keep your feet warm and toasty.

I'd rather walk barefoot across a glacier!

The sturdy Croslite™ material will survive a nuclear explosion. So it looks like Crocs are with us forever.




Arrrghhh!!! They’ve reproduced!


I think we've seen enough.

Oh the Croc Horror.

Book Sniffing

I’m a book sniffer. I love the aroma of used bookstores and old books.





So at last they’ve made a perfume and room spray with me in mind.





The creator of “In The Library” says it smells like an “English Novel taken from a Signed First Edition of one of my very favorite novels, Russian & Moroccan leather bindings, worn cloth and a hint of wood polish.”


I’m hoping it really does smell like old books but NOT like a library. I don’t know about your public library but mine smells like wet raingear, rancid old tramps and farts.


Are you a book sniffer? Would you wear a scent that smells like old books? If you wore the scent, what kind of person would it attract to you? Or repel away from you? What would happen if you sprayed it on?

Book-A-Minute

No time to read?



A CHRISTMAS CAROL (as told by Book-A-Minute)

Ebenezer Scrooge:

Bah, humbug. You'll work thirty-eight hours on Christmas Day, keep the heat at five degrees, and like it.

Ghost of Jacob Marley:

Ebenezer Scrooge, three ghosts of Christmas will come and tell you you're mean.

Three Ghosts of Christmas:

You're mean.

Ebenezer Scrooge:

At last, I have seen the light. Let's dance in the streets. Have some money.

I’ve just finished reading The Religion by Tim Willocks at 640 pages…



… and World Without End by Ken Follett at a whopping 1111 pages...




Where was Book-A-Minute when I needed it?

Which book would you like to condense down to a minute’s read?

And try your hand at it yourself, if you like. Write a quick summary for us of a book you’ve read…if you’ve got a minute, that is.

Blogger’s Blunder

Type your complaint to Blogger today!



Blogger.com has changed their comment forms.

Non-Blogger account holders can no longer comment on Blogger blogs leaving their URL.

So if you are a non-Blogger.com blogger (e.g. WordPress or TypePad), Blogger has disabled your ability to leave your URL when you leave a comment.

You can type in your name, but your URL won’t appear unless you open one of the following: an OpenID account, a Google account, a Blogger account … or take the time to manually type in your URL in the comment field.

And if someone new (say their name is “Joe”) comments on my blog without a Blogger account, I can’t check out Joe’s blog because there’s no link to his blog. So I’m left scratching my head wondering if I already know “Joe” or if “Joe” is a psychopath who has decided my blog is the place to be.

This new unsolicited feature could cause many of us to lose readers and prevent new readers from commenting.

Case in point: Yorkshire’s favourite poofs, Tazzy and Piggy.






Tazzy and Piggy are two of Infomaniac’s oldest and dearest readers but they don’t use Blogger.com to host their blog.

Taz and Pig are no longer leaving comments on my blog (or IVD’s blog or Frobi’s blog or Kaz’s blog or several others amongst us) because if they do, their URL is not attached.

For a clearer picture of this issue than the one I’m relating, read Tazzy and Piggy's stance on it here in “What the fuck is up with Blogger?”.


Needless to say, this breaks my heart as Tazzy and Piggy are an important part of Infomaniac’s community and without them, blogging will not be as pleasurable.





Sure, I could switch to a Wordpress account or I could change my comments to use Haloscan but I don’t want to.

This new feature will alienate our friends who are not Blogger.com bloggers and we’ll all suffer a loss of community.

Long story shorter, Blogger needs to hear from any and all of us who have issues with this latest change.

Please join me in voicing your opinion to Blogger here.

Filthy Friday

Happy Birthday, Homo Escapeons!

Sing along...


You must have been a beautiful baby
You must have been a wonderful child
When you were only startin' to go to kindergarten
I bet you drove the little girls wild.
And when it came to winning blue ribboms
You must have shown the other kids how.
I can see the judges' eyes as they handed you the prize
You must have made the cutest bow.
You must've been a beautiful baby
'Cause baby look at you NOW.








Happy 50th birthday to HE (Homo Escapeons): one hell of a Canucklehead.

New Winner of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts!

Eroswings, pictured below in Texas, did a grand job of hosting the latest Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.









But the time has come for The Shorts to move on to their new home, back in England again, with …

TATAS! …


How the did THAT happen? Has the world gone MAD?!

We’ll NEVER get the stench and stains out of The Shorts once Tatas gets her filthy mitts on them.

And can you imagine the POSE?

*faints from the ho-rror of it all*


*but not before posting her winning caption…*


"Them elf shorts they don't fit,
He needs to use them to cover his bits.
He holds on to his hat as the wind picks up,
For hours he'll be getting sand out from his butt."

Traffic Advisory

Temporary blog closure ‘til Thursday, December 6th.





We request your patience during this period.

Readers are advised to detour and visit alternate blogs in the meantime.

The parking lot remains open for those wishing to stay and read the latest Google searches (below) that led unsuspecting people to Infomaniac.


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Another Day Off

And if you don’t like it?…