Monday, September 13, 2010

Welcome Back, Bitches!


[via]

Please form an orderly queue as Mistress MJ takes roll call.

And do NOT pay any attention to Beast's fevered imagination.

42 comments:

  1. Have you been away? I didn't miss you.

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  2. There's always ONE comedian.

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  3. Is this Canadian Groundhog Day?

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  4. You turned north on 87, didn’t you, CyberPoof?

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  5. You will need a good going over with a rug cleaner after all that foot traffic

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  6. Are you suggesting a good carpet-munching, Beast?

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  7. WELCOME BACK!!

    i really did miss you, sugar! xoxoxoxoxox

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  8. Yeah!

    I like your new place but it smells musty in here so I brought you a housewarming gift.

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  9. Good afternoon MJ,

    Not wanting to be indiscreet, yet this reminds me of a joke about strapping on a 2 by 4.

    Welcome back

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  10. Darling, you're back!

    I had something to say about heteros and fedoras and revolving doors, but I lost it and am not willing to re-travel the path necessary to get it back.

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  11. Mistress, The Holiday Inn, Buffalo City Centre, has called and they would like to return the two towels and the string art painting of the Roebling Bridge. They said you could keep the queen size bed spread.

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  12. Oh...I see that you're on your "Welcome Back" Tour now...

    Or is this a holiday Snap..."Mistress Takes Berlin"?

    *assumes position for Bitch slap*

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  13. SAVANNAH: WELCOME BACK!!
    i really did miss you, sugar!


    Did you get my postcard?

    NORMADESMOND: like lemmings at a cliff.....

    Nature knows best, darling.

    AYEM8Y: Yeah!
    I like your new place but it smells musty in here so I brought you a housewarming gift.


    And what about you?

    Has your rash cleared up yet?

    KARL: Good afternoon MJ,
    Not wanting to be indiscreet, yet this reminds me of a joke about strapping on a 2 by 4.
    Welcome back


    Karl, you naughty thing, you.

    STACIA: Darling, you're back!
    I had something to say about heteros and fedoras and revolving doors, but I lost it and am not willing to re-travel the path necessary to get it back.


    It’s the thought that counts.

    PIGGY AND TAZZY: Oh fuck. Its back.

    I love you too.

    MR. COOKIE: Mistress, The Holiday Inn, Buffalo City Centre, has called and they would like to return the two towels and the string art painting of the Roebling Bridge. They said you could keep the queen size bed spread.

    I refuse to surrender the Thomas Kinkade print.

    JASON: Sixteenth!

    Sweet sixteenth.

    PRINCESS: Oh...I see that you're on your "Welcome Back" Tour now...
    Or is this a holiday Snap..."Mistress Takes Berlin"?
    *assumes position for Bitch slap*


    Do you fancy an extended stay in the oubliette?

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  14. I'll call you Nana from now on!

    Welcome BACK!

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  15. You most certainly will NOT call me such a ridiculous name.

    However, you may massage my feet while you're here.

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  16. I'm rubbing my brains out! If not Nana, what about Niki?

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  17. "Did you get my postcard?"

    No. No, I didn't.

    [glares at MJ]

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  18. Cool new footwear, XL! And no, I do not want to shake hands ...

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  19. MAGO: I'm rubbing my brains out! If not Nana, what about Niki?

    You will call me Mistress MJ and you will get down on your knees when you address me.

    I’ve had quite enough of this insolence.

    XL: "Did you get my postcard?"
    No. No, I didn't.
    [glares at MJ]


    Savannah requested a postcard.

    I do not recall anyone else making such a request and even if they had, Mistress MJ certainly did not have time for postcard scribbling whilst taking over the world.

    MAGO: Cool new footwear, XL! And no, I do not want to shake hands ...

    Am I interrupting a private conversation?

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  20. *rub* YesMistressThankYouMa'm ...

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  21. Oh than god, the dog days of summer were endless without you!

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  22. Oh darling, how fabulously fabulous to have you back. Where's my fucking monkey?

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  23. The more things change, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME !!

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  24. *takes a swig from another bottle of Carib beer*

    I like the new carpet, but I'm still voting to re-decorate the Plaid Room.

    How's it hanging Mistress?

    Oh hai everyone!

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  25. MAGO: *rub* YesMistressThankYouMa'm ...

    Knee pads are thoughtfully provided for your comfort.

    ANONYMOUS: Oh than god, the dog days of summer were endless without you!

    Have we had the pleasure of meeting?

    MR. PEENEE: Oh darling, how fabulously fabulous to have you back. Where's my fucking monkey?

    I can’t hear you.

    HEFF: The more things change, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME !!

    This is a bilingual nation.

    Repeat after me, en français…

    Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

    ROSES: *takes a swig from another bottle of Carib beer*
    I like the new carpet, but I'm still voting to re-decorate the Plaid Room.
    How's it hanging Mistress?
    Oh hai everyone!


    Despite having missed your presence here on Infomaniac, I can still send you to the moat for the rest of the day if you touch the Plaid Room.

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  26. I missed you too. Two months without Filthy Friday...it's appalling how used to filthy auld poofs I've become.

    I love 'em so.

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  27. I have just finished parking the Infomanic Mobile in the underground carpark.
    Unfortunately, due to a reversal causing misfortune, the plaid room may need to be rebuilt.
    Apologies.
    Sx

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  28. ROSES: I missed you too. Two months without Filthy Friday...it's appalling how used to filthy auld poofs I've become.
    I love 'em so.


    You used to be such a nice girl, Miss Roses.

    SCARLET: I have just finished parking the Infomanic Mobile in the underground carpark.
    Unfortunately, due to a reversal causing misfortune, the plaid room may need to be rebuilt.
    Apologies.


    Do you realize how much Canadian Tire Money it will take to fix that?!

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  29. Travelling Canadians have been known to pass off Canadian Tire ‘Money’ as Canada’s legal tender when bartering internationally – a practice rumoured to have succeeded more than once!

    Brits have tried this with Luncheon Vouchers, without any success at all.
    Sx

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  30. We're expecting full disclosure regarding world domination tour details. I missed your show in Beaver Falls by the way...

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  31. SCARLET: "Travelling Canadians have been known to pass off Canadian Tire ‘Money’ as Canada’s legal tender when bartering internationally – a practice rumoured to have succeeded more than once!”

    Brits have tried this with Luncheon Vouchers, without any success at all.


    I would gladly accept HobNobs as currency.

    MICHAEL GUY: We're expecting full disclosure regarding world domination tour details. I missed your show in Beaver Falls by the way...

    But first I’ll be expecting full disclosure from all of YOU bitches.

    Stay tuned for my next post.

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  32. Hey there Mistress! The plants have been watered and the bushes are pruned. Glad you're back.

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  33. HAYWARD: Hey there Mistress! The plants have been watered and the bushes are pruned. Glad you're back.

    There’s nothing so annoying as an unruly bush.

    Just ask our Miss Scarlet.

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  34. MITZI: Phew! warm tuna.

    Some like it hot.

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  35. That's f***ing obscene!

    Sh's wearing mismatched socks!

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  36. Oh my Mistress !!!!

    Your slave apologises for his commentary absence - he has had a rather big month.

    Your slave has missed you and even in his absence has never stopped adoring you Dearest.

    ***places three single chaste kisses on each of Mistress's feet to make up for lost time as is proper***

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