Thursday, May 14, 2009

Make Yourselves Useful

Ask not what Mistress MJ can do for YOU but what YOU can do for Mistress MJ.



Well?

38 comments:

  1. So.. Your real name is Mr Godfrey?

    I just KNEW you were a tranny. Nice gams though

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  2. Yay! First bitches!

    In your face!

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  3. YAY THIRD
    ***Bows to Petes superior blogging fu***
    I am not doing nuffin unless you pay me
    Not after last time.....
    I still have stains...

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  4. *bows before the Mistress with appropriate humility and respect*

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  5. I enjoy being submissive... What can I do for Mistress MJ?

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  6. Heck Mj - you already have more Pillow Fluffers than I could shake a stick at, I will supply sandwiches from my 'special fridge' ...

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  7. God gave me the gift of perfect packing. So I can help with your relocation plans.
    I am especially good at packing size 3 shoes - especially when they haven't been counted by the owner.

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  8. I can explain in exhaustive detail, why, after 3.5 Billion years of Evolution, Humans have settled for reality TV instead of flying cars and world peace..
    like we were supposed to have had by now..
    remember?

    OR I could paint y'er toe nails. Either or?

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  9. Well, do you have anything else that needs fluffing?

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  10. CYBERPOOF: So.. Your real name is Mr Godfrey?
    I just KNEW you were a tranny. Nice gams though


    I don’t know any trannies with size 3 feet, (see Kaz’s comment) do you?



    BEAST: YAY THIRD
    ***Bows to Petes superior blogging fu***
    I am not doing nuffin unless you pay me
    Not after last time.....
    I still have stains...


    Do not try to blame your lack of personal hygiene on Mistress MJ.



    DAMIEN: *bows before the Mistress with appropriate humility and respect*

    You have pleased Mistress MJ.

    The others will have to wait another day to see why.



    MIKEY: I enjoy being submissive... What can I do for Mistress MJ?

    Send me a photo of your bare bottom, for starters.



    SCARLET: I could be a tampon tester?

    I misread that as “tampon taster”…most disgusting.

    *flings tampon at Beast’s head*

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  11. LULU: Heck Mj - you already have more Pillow Fluffers than I could shake a stick at, I will supply sandwiches from my 'special fridge' ...

    I am still recuperating from learning from you that there are pupae on my cabbage rolls.

    I most certainly will not be helping myself to your maggot buffet.



    KAZ: God gave me the gift of perfect packing. So I can help with your relocation plans.
    I am especially good at packing size 3 shoes - especially when they haven't been counted by the owner.


    Noting that Kaz is the only blogger Mistress MJ knows with the same shoe size, I sense a conspiracy.



    MAXI: Toejob.
    That is all.


    The fact that Mistress MJ has a weakness for Irishmen lets you get away with a lot.

    You DO realize that, don’t you?



    MOOT: I can explain in exhaustive detail, why, after 3.5 Billion years of Evolution, Humans have settled for reality TV instead of flying cars and world peace..
    like we were supposed to have had by now..
    remember?
    OR I could paint y'er toe nails. Either or?


    Mistress MJ can easily read your blog on a daily basis for the former.

    She gracefully accepts the latter.

    But wait until Mago (where IS he?) has massaged my dainty size 3 feet.



    XL: Well, do you have anything else that needs fluffing?

    You are doing a top-notch job as Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer.

    Carry on.

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  12. I can read aloud from dirty books. I've been told I have a pleasant voice and good inflection.

    If not that, I can fold your laundry with amazing precision.

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  13. LEAH: I can read aloud from dirty books. I've been told I have a pleasant voice and good inflection.
    If not that, I can fold your laundry with amazing precision.


    Can you fold my laundry whilst reading to me?

    Therein lies the challenge.

    No one said this was going to be easy.

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  14. I can be’s yo maid! Stilettos, fish nets and a humongous feather duster. “No no Mistress allow me to schedule all of yo beauty appointments...No Mistress is not receiving company at the moment she needs her rest...Don’t even think of sneakin’ into Mistress’s chamber...don’t make me let the hounds out after yo ass...Damn lazy houseboys! Get to work peelin’ Mistress’s grapes...Oh Mistress the boys is done fillin’ the tub fo yo mid day milk bath. Oh Mistress Mr. Teezie Weezie’s here fo yo afternoon coiffure, he’s a waitin’ fo ya in the salonarium. Oh Mistress it's time to try on all yo fur coats...”

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  15. i can blow shit up real good...

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  16. I would like to apply as a position for cock shaker for the houseboys. Sometimes they get stressed what with all the housework they do and when they aren't bumming eachother sometimes they like a soft lady's hand and that hand I now offer you. I can also mix you a mean cocktail MJ.

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  17. AYEM8Y: I can be’s yo maid! Stilettos, fish nets and a humongous feather duster. “No no Mistress allow me to schedule all of yo beauty appointments...No Mistress is not receiving company at the moment she needs her rest...Don’t even think of sneakin’ into Mistress’s chamber...don’t make me let the hounds out after yo ass...Damn lazy houseboys! Get to work peelin’ Mistress’s grapes...Oh Mistress the boys is done fillin’ the tub fo yo mid day milk bath. Oh Mistress Mr. Teezie Weezie’s here fo yo afternoon coiffure, he’s a waitin’ fo ya in the salonarium. Oh Mistress it's time to try on all yo fur coats...”

    You’re hired.

    How soon can you start?

    I don’t care what you wear as long as your spectacular arse is exposed at all times.





    VOICES: i can blow shit up real good...

    Blowing up condoms, as I see you doing now, is not a skill we require.




    EMMA: I would like to apply as a position for cock shaker for the houseboys. Sometimes they get stressed what with all the housework they do and when they aren't bumming eachother sometimes they like a soft lady's hand and that hand I now offer you. I can also mix you a mean cocktail MJ.

    Cock and cocktails go hand in hand.

    Your hand to be precise.

    Get shakin’.

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  18. I can lend you my pet cockroach Nigel. He's rubbish at ice hockey but he mixes a damn fine Daiquiri.

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  19. I got Chihuahuas. How many do you want?

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  20. just looked at Garfer's offer. Maybe I could trade for that cockroach.

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  21. GARFY & BOXER: I suggest all of you, including Nigel, check into a roach motel.

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  22. I'll leave this one for BamaTrav, lol !

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  23. (*)db(*) just showing you some love MJ.

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  24. HEFF & BAMATRAV: The two of you almost commented simultaneously.

    Are you doing EVERYTHING together now?

    Besides photographing each other’s asses, that is.

    Poor Wil must be feeling very left out.

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  25. The only tranny I know is you.

    Do you wear size 3 shoes?

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  26. No, not feeling left out at all. So, what can I do for you there GayFK?

    Wil Harrison.com

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  27. CYBERPOOF: Do you wear size 3 shoes?

    That’s a size 3 UK Womens, yes.
    Size 36 European
    Size 6 US/Canada
    Will you be shopping at Jimmy Choo for me?



    WIL: No, not feeling left out at all. So, what can I do for you there GayFK?

    It’s a Heff, BamaTrav, Wil hat trick!

    I’m feeling faint and may need to lie down.

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  28. I will go shoe shopping with you, but I won't buy you shoes.

    We can have drinks and prance through the fabulous shops.

    I like Manolos better than the Choos though.

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  29. Would you care to join me in the hot tub one night? I have cheese straws and black russians...

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  30. CYBERPOOF: I will go shoe shopping with you, but I won't buy you shoes.
    We can have drinks and prance through the fabulous shops.
    I like Manolos better than the Choos though.


    YOU prance. Mistress MJ flounces.

    Without a doubt, we are the ideal shoe shopping couple.



    MUTLEY: Would you care to join me in the hot tub one night? I have cheese straws and black russians...

    What about Pukka Pies?

    Or those 'Pickled Pork Pies' you were going on about.

    We can’t anything like those here in The Colonies.

    To lure Canadian women, all you have to do is dangle a bit of Spotted Dick!

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  31. I've done enough.....I get a pass

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  32. MANUEL: I've done enough.....I get a pass

    My hero.

    You get a lifetime pass.

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  33. You certainly don't have to worry about me stealing your shoes... I was thinking a size 3 in Cdn would be like a seven year old's foot! Size 6 is more ladylike.

    *tucks size 10AAs under the chair*

    I can cook... and bake... and can make perogies from scratch and the wickedest chocolate cake... you name it... Can I be your head chef??? With all those houseboys to feed, you must need someone full time in the kitchen.

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  34. PONITA: Did someone mention cake?

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  35. LOL@ your cake peddling.

    Love how she uses her cigarette holder to keep losers at a distance. I shall have to get one!

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  36. UBERMOUTH: LOL@ your cake peddling.

    You bitches bring it upon yourselves.

    ReplyDelete