Friday, September 12, 2008

Filthy Friday



Can you help the people who’ve arrived on Infomaniac via Google searches, looking for the answers to these questions?…


How far should you put your tongue up your girls arse?

Does fingering your arse hurt?


How to expand your arse?

If you know the answer to any of the above questions, please leave your answer in the comments box.

51 comments:

  1. Answers:

    1. It depends on the length of your tongue and if her donkey's rear legs are tied down.

    2. At the very least, make sure you clean up first, lest your fingers get dirty.

    3. Eat! Eat! and Eat! Say NO to exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why the comments box when they only have to look at your box

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am almost first .. does that mean that everyone else is scared to look 'cos it's friday?

    Eros' answer was funnier, but perhaps one of those funnel-like doorstops might help with no.3

    ReplyDelete
  4. well shit.... am i busted er wot.... i constantly forget how to get to yer blog and have to google weird ass questions to find you again... glad to be back....

    had to google this time:
    bananas in ass
    cake farts
    peeing on blogs
    how much filth is there?
    i just want to go home


    then i found my way back to the infomaniac compond...

    *wipes brow and passes out on keyboar----

    ReplyDelete
  5. SHIT.... was that the cumpond i found my way back to or the commiepound...


    *wonders why he has found him self on the floor in the kitchen*

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1) not far
    2) cut yer nails and it won't much
    3) sniff poppers

    or so I've heard

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't want to expand anything because I want to look good in my stripey tights when they arrive.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That woman looks like a cross between Diana "Wonder Woman" Prince and Diana the guinea pig eater from V.
    And that man is not rimming her - He's just the victim of a cruel superglue trick. That hussy!

    As for the questions:

    1. Eww! My tongue isn't going anywhere near a girl's arse.

    2. Not when- Hey! Wait a minute. Is this some kind of trap?

    ReplyDelete
  9. 1) Until your tongue comes out of her ear.

    2) Never tried it, my arse is a one way street and only fires outwards, not inwards.

    3) Neat lighter gas and a zippo lighter will do it every time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. 1. If the rhohypnol as kicked in, then prod as deep as you want.

    2. Only when the rhohypnol wears off.

    3. Bottle of Jack, and the fist of the local paperboy!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm top of the google searches for "Big Arseholes" so I should know.

    I'm just above "Poo, shit, runny arseholes, vomity Bishops, and jizz on the carpet".

    So I'm in good company.

    ReplyDelete
  12. EROS: I suggest you get your finger out of your arse and evacuate before Hurricane Ike bears down.

    CYBERPOOF: Looking at my box is like looking into the sun.

    CARNALIS: Being first means you're a dirty minx hooked on filth.

    VOICES: Funny you should mention bananas because I did in fact get the question, “Can you put a banana up your bum?”

    Thankfully, our Beast has proven that yes, you CAN put a banana up your bum.

    An entire fruit basket, in fact.

    KNUDSEN: That L.A. clubbing scene is no place for a nice lad from Killamory.

    ReplyDelete
  13. KAZ: Couldn't you murder a nice big Tunnocks Teacake in the meantime?

    IVD: Go on. Tell us more.

    *dangles assortment of sweets before IVD*

    BOLLIX: Would you consider becoming an Infomaniac agony aunt columnist?

    I have an opening.

    MAXI: Good luck getting the newsprint stains off your arse.

    GARFY: For all of the above?

    GEOFF: Ha! So you are!

    I see you’re still on top for Beverley Callard’s breasts too.

    You may as well just change the name of your blog to Beverley Callard’s Breasts.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just put a cork in your girl's arse and your own and all your problems will be solved.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't know how to respond to that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Do perverts who know how to find porn sites look down at perverts who wind up at blogs via web-searches?

    ReplyDelete
  17. The answer to ALL those questions is : AS FAR AS IT WILL GO !

    ReplyDelete
  18. RANDOM: Natural cork?

    Or plastic?

    CYBERPOOF: I’m thankful for the peace and quiet from you for once.

    TROLL: You would think everyone would just naturally know where to find “photos of old grannies slapping mens testicles and penises” but it isn’t so.

    HEFF: Good to see you’re thinking outside the box.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Easy: Electric Air Pump - for all three questions

    ReplyDelete
  20. TREESPOTTER: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    I recognize you from Nation's place.

    Have you seen all the toilet planters on her lawn?

    Now she's one woman who could find a use for an electric air pump, wouldn't you agree?

    ReplyDelete
  21. BITCHES: Okay, which one of you just Googled “videos of mums talking dirty and wanking cocks”?

    It came from someone in England if that narrows it down any.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ok, silence over!

    WHAT AN UGLY SOFA YOU'VE GOT MISTRESS MJ!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nope, have not to notice the toilet planters. I'm the wrong end of the universe.

    I was thinking more Lego Dildo - that's what people looked for on my site, but not that i am saying anything at all. The corners could hurt.

    I won't say no more. Supposed to behave meself.

    ReplyDelete
  24. CYBERPOOF: Ack!

    STC alert!

    *hides from CyberPoof under Beast’s stinky duvet*

    TREESPOTTER: You have the distinction of being my first and only Indonesian reader.

    And if you stick around here you’re sure to misbehave.

    ReplyDelete
  25. and fingers up my flat ass?

    i know i should've stayed lurking. (it was too much fun)

    :D

    I'll be around, i just don't comment as much. Never have anything smart to say about anything.

    ReplyDelete
  26. TREESPOTTER: CyberPoof never has anything smart to say either but that doesn't stop HIM from commenting.

    Please cum again.

    ReplyDelete
  27. MJ, I would be very interested in any position you may have for me.
    But first, tell me more about your opening. Does it need filling?
    I have an hour free after lunch, could you fit me in?

    ReplyDelete
  28. There will be no expanding of my arse. None.

    ReplyDelete
  29. CYBERPOOF: I rest my case.

    BOLLIX: Is pork truncheon on the menu?

    CATSCRATCH: I said nothing could expand my arse either but then my Brit readers introduced me to HobNobs.

    BOXER: 32nd.

    You’ve hit an all-time low.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is the tamest FF ever!
    I had a sprtitzer bottle full of eye bleach all ready and here all I find is an old stock photo from Guys And Dolls.

    "Marry the man today and change his waaaaaaays,
    Tomorrow!"

    ReplyDelete
  31. 1. You'll know it's far enough when you taste small intestine.

    2. If by fingering you mean fisting.

    3. Good old-fashioned reverse-kegels.

    ...polite little coughs...

    ReplyDelete
  32. DONNNNN: It’s a roll of the dice what you get around here on Fridays.

    *cues Luck Be a Lady Tonight*

    LEAH: *sudden desire to become vegetarian*

    What exactly did they teach you in finishing school?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Q) How far should you put your tongue up your girls arse?

    A) How revolting!

    Q) Does fingering your arse hurt?

    Only when piles are present, but even then it might be quite nice.

    Q) How to expand your arse?

    A) A nuclear missile would possibly be the most effective method.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What case is that?

    I'm never kept in the loop

    ReplyDelete
  35. *removes electric air pump from greased chihuahua, replaces in refrigerator* how dare you.

    1. Six and one-half inches
    2. Fingering your own might hurt hurt you. Fingering mine will DEFINITELY hurt you.
    3. dip a chihuahua in rendered bacon fat, insert in back passage. inflate with electric pump until desired circumference is reached. remove chihuahua, replace in refrigerator. log on to 'Infomaniac'.

    ReplyDelete
  36. 1) depends how hard she's sucking on your dick on the other end.

    2)I don't know my finger is to busy being up the neighbor's wife arse.
    She says no.

    3)Don't pay your taxes and someone will stop by to fuck you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. since this is my first in Filthy Friday, someone please tell me something: Is this the regular atmosphere? Cause this is kinda fun.

    I'm following on email and it reads really weird.

    They should have a post-via-email for this purpose alone.

    oh, do you do that to all your dogs, or do you have only one dog?

    and do you keep food on that fridge?

    ReplyDelete
  38. 1) you should deficately use trial and error;
    2) only if your arse has teeth;
    3) Stuffit Expander by Smith Micro is very popular.
    Or so I am told.

    ReplyDelete
  39. PUPPY&HIPPO: Infomaniac is a nuclear-free zone although I’ve heard excessively loud rumblings from inside your house in the direction of the water closet.

    Are you experiencing a meltdown?

    CYBERPOOF: That’s because you’re loopy.

    NATIONS: Get back in the kitchen and mix up a batch of macaroni and cheese with hotdogs.

    WALKER: You’re obviously a man of experience.

    Infomaniac is considering a spot for you on the Advisory Board.

    TREESPOTTER: You’ve inspired my Saturday posting.

    ANGELA: My arse has a removable set of dentures.

    They really bite ass.

    ReplyDelete
  40. hubert muckybugger6:00 PM, September 13, 2008

    How to expand your arse?

    Ram a live iguana up it an then don't let the bugger (so to speak) out....
    easy when you know how :D

    ReplyDelete
  41. as far as filthy fridays go that's pretty tame, visually speaking.....

    ReplyDelete
  42. HUBERT: That method is not approved by the Infomaniac Advisory Board.

    MANUEL: Shall I post that pic of your hairy arse again?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Okay ... I'll take a stab at this one ...

    1.Just far enough not to meet up with a big brown bear.
    2.Only if you miss the mark by traveling too far south.
    3.Gently with a shoehorn

    ReplyDelete
  44. JOE: How many shoehorns have you bent out of shape?

    Does your wife know you're here again?

    ReplyDelete
  45. Sorry MJ, just testing our open i.d.

    ReplyDelete