Thursday, September 18, 2008

Domestic Dispute of the Day

Welcome to a new series on Infomaniac entitled Domestic Dispute of the Day in which we examine domestic quarrels that got out of hand.

THE DOMESTIC DUO: Briana Lin Pouncy, 20, and her boyfriend, Joseph Boykins, 21.

The pugnacious Ms. Pouncy

THE DISTRICT: Fort Worth, Texas, USA.

THE DISPUTE: Ms. Pouncy bit Mr. Boykins, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

Mr. Boykins told police that he and Ms. Pouncy had become involved in an argument because Ms. Pouncy was upset that the dishes were not clean. She told Mr. Boykins to leave the apartment, which he refused to do.

Ms. Pouncy then tried to physically remove Mr. Boykins. During the ensuing struggle, Ms. Pouncy bit Mr. Boykins' right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts.

She then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at Mr. Boykins, missing him.

THE DISCIPLINE: Ms. Pouncy was released from jail after posting a $10,000 bond. She faces an aggravated assault charge.

Although Mistress MJ has a team of houseboys at hand, she prefers to do the washing up herself as she considers it quality downtime in which to daydream of shoe shopping excursions in Paris and Rome ... and men's bottoms.

Besides, it gives the houseboys a break betwixt preparing her dinner and serving her evening cocktails.

But for the rest of you, this situation begs the question…


  1. This was REALLY AND ACTUALLY what happened to you on the weekend and you're just looking for our support, right?

  2. i agree with you MJ i always preferred to do the's safe because everyone hates doing the dishes so they leave you to your peace...and it cleans the fingernails so nicely :)

  3. I ran into that question a number of years ago and after months of study and thought I came to the conclusion that at least one man should do the dishes because I had run out of utensils and the plastic forks tasted funny.
    It may have had something to do with the fact that I used them for cat food first.

  4. OH PULEASE!!!!!

    "within without" Who the fuck?

    Anyhoo - I just spent 20 minutes doing the dishes while The Mister stood "helping" by drinking a glass of wine.

    "He" did a great job.

    Now off to smack him.

  5. I've no choice but to wash the dishes; the dishwasher is old, loud, and it's much faster if I clean the dishes myself. Also, I think it's stupid that I have to rinse off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher to clean them!

    It's so obvious Pouncy and Boykins forgot their 'safe' word in this S&M session.

  6. Most men would put the dishes on the floor for the dog to lick clean. Or is that just at Chez XL?

  7. What sort of stupid name is Briana , no wonder the poor woman is in a constant state of agitation.

    Dont get me started on frigging dishes , since its Beasts Kitchen Bitch day at Cafe C .A rubber gloved Beast will be up to his armpits in soapsuds

  8. WW: I’ve seen pics of your pizza-encrusted dishes (not to mention the filth behind your fridge) and I’m convinced you just throw out your dirty dishes and buy new ones.

    DAISY: No no no, you MUST wear rubber gloves to protect your delicate hands, Miss Daisy.

    Look here for a glamourous selection.

    WALKER: Mistress MJ's pussy just switched to wet food from dry and even the beef flavor smells fishy.

    Therefore a special “cat food utensil only” has been acquired.

    BOXER: The Mister should be pouring the glass of wine for YOU.

    Send him round to Mistress MJ for training sessions.

    How is he with toilets?

    EROS: Mistress MJ’s dishwasher doesn’t work either.

    She stores her shoes in it.

    XL: Exactly how many critters do you have?

    And do they all blog?

    Or just the cats?

    BEAST: Are you wearing that frilly pinny Mistress MJ sent to you for your stints at Café C?

    Is that why you’re up at 4:30 in the morning?

  9. My guess is that if there was a little more 'Pouncy' goin' on in the 'Boykin' department that this unpleasantness would have never occured.

    The answer is Yes. I do 99% of the cookin' & the warshin' but I don't know nuthin' 'bout raisin' no babies!

    btw I also hide Cosmo in my Field & Stream.


    We HAVE to take the Cosmo Quiz together!

  11. I'd be very happy to send him out for "re-education."

    I apologize in advance for the gas.

  12. Now you've got me thinking about being served an evening cocktail you naughty naughty girl.

  13. We just finished doing it on the kitchen sink. It was great but now I've got a fork stuck in my arse. But it was forking great. Thanks again for the idea.

  14. I suspect that what you meant to say was that the argument was about doing the dishes, rather than not doing the dishes, but I will let this one go as you are probably too busy cleaning and ironing to be able to master simple English usage.
    (Note. I almost certainly will have left a grammatical error in this comment. That happens when I get pedantic. So I am not going to proofread it. Too busy doing a list of the days tasks for Mrs S.)

  15. BOXER: There are consequences if your husband isn’t a fast learner.

    I hope he doesn’t mind a smacked bottom.

    ANGELA: Mistress MJ experienced a similar situation once when she accidentally sat on her Juicy Salif.

    Honestly, we should get together over apéritif and swap stories.

    We need a girly night, don’t you agree?

    VICUS: I believe this is yours…

    *hands Vicus a French maid’s outfit*

  16. oh MJ i adore the black ones with leopardskin...alas i would be so glamorous i would no longer do the dishes if i had them on my hands :)

  17. You can do my dishes too.

    I don't know about men in general but I shouldn't do dishes

  18. I leave that sort of thing to the servants.

    Which reminds me, I have an assignation with Mary the milkmaid in the hay shed at 10.30.

  19. What's the point of getting married if you still have to wash dishes? The reason god gave women small feet was so that they could stand closer to the sink.

  20. Weemen enjoy doing the dishes its in their DNA only a leezer would object to hoosework.

    Using a sword proves she is one.

  21. I was always a citrus man till Betty got me into lavender.

  22. What a joy to see that you use Starck-designed things. The gloves are very nice too!
    Of course I wash my dishes per hand, a machine would kill the golden rims in no time and put nasty greyish shadows in my Bergkristallgläser! Tz ...

  23. DAISY: Beast could come round and do your washing up when he’s finished at Café C.

    CYBERPOOF: We wouldn’t want one of your acrylic nails to snap off.

    GARFY:That roll in the hay will play havoc with your allergies.

    BOLLIX: It’s true I have small feet.

    But perhaps it’s in the Divine Plan to shove them up your arse.

    KNUDSEN: But a leezer would have her hair styled in a buzz cut.

    Maybe she’s one of those lipstick lesbians you hear so much about these days.

    GEOFF: And you came out smelling like roses.

    MAGO: We mustn’t risk chipping your Bergkristallgläser!

  24. If wimmin didn't exist, there wouldn't be such a thing as domestic disputes.

  25. I wash dishes, but only if they're dirty.

  26. Wait, was washing dishes a euphemism for cunnilingus? Cause that would explain her rage!

    ...Though, if her dishes were crusty, I can understand his refusal...

  27. Yes. Men are just as capable.

    In my house. My significant other has not been working for months. Yet, he insists on sitting on his ass, smoking like a freight train and eating. That's all he does.

    Oh yah, and complains about how bored he is. Do some housework for Christ sake. I'm working 50 hours a week and he does NOTHING.

    I need a fucking sword.

  28. Re Angela's comment(s)

    Twenty minutes between comments, less several minutes to write the comments so probably closer to ten?

    Ten minutes?

    Ten minutes??

    Ten minutes???

    That was some quick quickie, lol.

  29. PIGGY: If fat old poofs from Yorkshire didn’t exist I wouldn’t have to reply to that comment.

    HEFF: Do you sing along with Albert Collins as you wash up?...

    “Thought I was her husband, 'stead a maid!”

    EROS: Mistress MJ’s dishes are so clean you could eat off them.

    CATSCRATCH: I have a paddle with your husband’s name on it.

    Send him here for training immediately along with Boxer’s husband.

    A week with Mistress MJ and he’ll be begging to scrub your floors on all fours.

    GINRO: The Secret Service is following Angela and it was imperative that she make it a quickie.

  30. Exactly!

    I hate having to go down to California Nails and only get one done.

    Now get cracking MJ, I've got a sink full just waiting for you.

  31. dishes? dishes? we dont need no stinkin dishes!!

  32. CYBERPOOF: You need a full set of talons for your catfights.

    VOICES: What? Are you eating off the floor?

    *pictures the Voices clan gathered 'round a medieval banquet table waving ham hocks and wiping their mouths with their sleeves*

  33. if I told him there might be bottom smacking, he'd probably pack his own bag. For the first time in his LIFE.

  34. Yes but even so...
    My experience of quickies is that they last about an hour or so, lol, and Secret Service or not there are some things that must take precedence.

  35. BOXER: His bottom will be bright red like a baboon when I’m finished with him.

    And you’ll get no more monkeying around from him when he gets home!

    GINRO: Mistress MJ may have an opening for you as houseboy.

    Are you willing to work overseas?

  36. Exactly! IDV will be back at some point

  37. CYBERPOOF: Back from serving rough trade down at the docks.

    Do you think he's gone shopping for another bikini?

    Hopefully not more orange shirts.

  38. Men should NOT do the dishes because they do not know how to properly load the dishwasher. They also break things. Men should clean toilets.

  39. *looks at mj with gristle stuck in his teeth and has another bite of road kill*

  40. "XL: Exactly how many critters do you have? And do they all blog? Or just the cats?"

    Only the two cats, who blog when they can be bothered.

  41. ****Peels off rubber gloves and smacks Randoms Ass with them***

  42. **checking train schedule to your part of the country**Sees I'll be able to get him on the next one**

    Address please.

  43. and you thought nothing exciting happened in ft. worth...meh!

  44. RANDOM: Have you seen Beast’s hair lately?

    I could use his hair to scour the toilet.

    It’s like a Brillo pad.

    *sticks Beast's head in the bowl*

    VOICES: Possum?

    XL: Do your cats have access to your credit cards?

    My cat used mine to try and order a heap of cat toys.

    BEAST: What a flimsy excuse to try to make contact with Random’s ass.

    BOXER: Make sure he’s housetrained.

    Unlike Voices.

    SEA: It’s “where the West begins!”