Monday, April 18, 2011

Passover

Happy Passover to our Jewish Infomaniac Bitches.

[via]

If it doesn’t involve a first course of ham followed by chocolate Easter eggs, this shiksa (Mistress MJ, that is) has no clue how to progress with a 15 step Passover Seder.

But look…there’s wine!!!

28 comments:

  1. Oooh, Cool Cookie you are fast!

    Happy Passover!

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  2. Its been thirty-five years since I was at a Seder, but I remember that everyone got a booklet for two reasons:

    1) So everyone knows what's going on -and-
    2) So no one forgets to do what needs to get done.

    I for one ushered in Passover last night as I always do, by watching the Ten Commandments and enjoying at the over the top script.

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  3. Mistress MJ would require a Sedarim For Dummies book.

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  4. There is an obligation to drink four cups of wine during the Seder.
    I don't think they're glugged down one after the other in the usual fashion though.
    SX

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  5. This is specially for Cool Cookie:
    "Oh Moses, Moses, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!"

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  6. I know nothing of these traditions. But any drinking of wine has got to be a good thing!

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  7. Happy Passover!

    Are we supposed to wear the little beanie hat things to this?

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  8. For me the whole Easter (no clue what passover is, although anything that involves red wine is a hit in my book) thing is all about the chocolate and marzipan. Preferably a combination thereof.

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  9. BITCHES: Mistress MJ has been felled by another one of her headaches.

    Carry on with the Passover festivities.

    XL, as far as I know, you cannot wear a yarmulke unless you are Jewish.

    If you really WANT to wear headgear today, perhaps the others can find a jaunty hat for you.

    In the meantime, I require pillow fluffing.

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  10. Leah rebbe should know all about it.

    May I turn my attention towards your feet?

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  11. I am ignorant of the celebration I admit but it may involve a circumcision.

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  12. I like the swirly candles in the photo. We had those on the table for Christmas.

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  13. where's damien? he'd be the best teacher.

    all we ever did was ask the, "why is this night different from all other nights" question and then dig in big time.

    i'm plotzing (an excellent verb for passover) over this nebbishy (good adjective at a seder) man pouring the wine.

    skull caps are worn so that the jewish spirit doesn't seep into your head. oh, and to cover your horns, which always pulsate on passover.

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  14. oh, mj.....so sorry that you've gone under once again. poor thingy. i hate when you're not well!

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  15. @KellyRed - You get it (and me), love!

    My favorite line: "Your tongue will dig you grave, Mehmet."

    Or when Sephora's sisters spot Moses, asleep near the tent of Jethro: "Look! It's a M-AHN!"

    God, they don't write them like that anymore.

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  16. Mistress: Any male can wear a "yahmmy" The women can wear a Sheitel (but if she is doing the Friday night prayer before they eat, then she is supposed to cover her head, at least for the prayer). Norma will correct me if I get it wrong, but in my defense I stepped away from the faith after the people in the temple pissed me off.

    Norma: Didn't you ever get called on to play find the Matzo? In the loosey goosie Reform Judiasm world, the youngest male gets called up to ask the question, "why is tonight different from all other nights." If the child gets his part right, or if gramps has a soft spot, then they play find the Matzo, which is no game, because the matzo is on a plate in front of gramps with a linen cloth covering it. Then everyone laughs because the kid is non-the-wiser of the charade.

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  17. Now the wine, and this is the way it was explained to me by my father who was a cock and bull artist. But here goes:

    It is part of the Passover meal, BUT, there is also something unspoken about, Passover and Jews, and it always ends in a pinochole game.

    Observant Jews, in general do not drink. Why? Because in the middle ages Jews were forbidden to own property. To make a living, they were tradesmen, or they were bankers because money changing was a dirty business. Because their was no insurance per se, and because governmental courts in Europe were not friendly to Jews in general, if you got robbed, or if someone took advatage of you, you were pretty much fucked.

    So if a Jew drank, or frequented taverns where there were games of chance and shady people, people could take advantage of you if you were tipsy or drunk. So Jews didn't drink.

    BUT on Passover, every can have a sip. Sometimes people sip to much and a Mogen David drunk is the worst kind. It leads to family card games and that leads to arguments, and then people don't talk for the year until Passover when there's another family reunion and the whole cycle starts again.

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  18. Is "Find the Matzo" anything like "Hide the Salami?"

    As it's sunset here now, it's officially Passover...did I get that right?

    *returns to fainting chaise with cold compress*

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  19. What about the 12 Step Passover Program?
    Step 1 is Mogen David, I think.

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  20. I attended a seder once. It was the longest night of my life.

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  21. This little Jewish Boy thanks his Mistress for laying such a beautiful table :)

    Must go back to the wine now.

    Chag Sameach to all !!!

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  22. They ain't making jews like Jesus anymore.

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  23. mago, you are so right.

    cookie, i defer to you. in my house, we played hide the asshole....asshole being my father. trouble was, he didn't stay hidden.

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