Monday, December 26, 2016

kabuki zero: Tribute to a Gigastar

2016 has cruelly bitch-slapped us yet again.

In the words of Infomaniac Bitch kabuki zero, “another year can bite Kabuki’s snow white ass.

Gigastar. Artiste. The Prettiest Ballerina in the World. Kabuki zero has "gone to Fabulon." And we are saddened by our loss.

Kabuki died over the Christmas weekend, following post surgery recovery.

Talk among yourselves, give a good look at that bright eyed youth that was kabuki.

Kabuki penned his brilliant stream of consciousness blog, The man who told the World from the comfort of his double-wide trailer mansion 1970s disco love palace known as "Castle Rock" in the California desert; a home he shared with his dogs and parrots. He was also a fellow contributing beautician at The Hair Hall of Fame.

Kabuki shared (Cher’d?) a birthday with another Gigastar: Cher. Coincidence? We think not. The stars aligned to create fabulosity. Kabuki once exclaimed, “Cher I love you forever. You are my secret girlfriend.

A quote from kabuki’s long-time (since age 17!) friend, Felix in Hollywood:

"In real life, he (kabuki) is as difficult, uncompromising, kind, brilliant and fabulous as his laser-point, razor-sharp stream of conscious writing indicates."

Felix In Hollywood (left) and Kabuki Zero (right) - 1981

"Who says high fashion is painful? To the best of our collective recollection, when the photo was taken, we had consumed, scotch, michelob, couple hits of speed, a dusting of cocaine, and a 750 placidyl each and were feeling no pain. And it was after the picture was taken that we went out to party."

That’s kabuki on the left, Felix in Hollywood on the right, and their trick (one assumes) in between - 1985.

Kabuki remarked that he had a “keen desire to leave a legacy. A mark, a stain, a google, maybe even a scandalous wikipedia entry.

So we here at Infomaniac wish this post to be a tribute in pictures and in his own words to kabuki zero.

kabuki on kabuki:
I am old. I am young. I am foolish. I am reckless. I am alone. I am in pain. I am funny. I am lovable. I'm an idea man. I am attractive. I am opinionated. I am unique. I am talented. I am not forever. I am searching. I am KABUKI ZERO.

kabuki on Norma:
Norma has always been too much talent for one continent. Rumour has it her CD, 'One Night With Norma' is even on the Mars lander. Talent will out - that's what kabuki always says.

kabuki on Mr. Peenee:
Rice-A-Roni is no longer the San Fransico treat. Naked peenee is, and kabuki would like a double portion. Meow.

kabuki on men:
kabuki -star of both stage AND screen - has had to carry the garbage out since 1986. That is the only reason to have a boyfriend, and that is all I would have him do. Unless I spilled something. "Boyfriend - absorb that spilled mai tai." (Instead of absorbing everything in my refridgerator) PLUS - even megastars get lonely. Or so i have been told.

kabuki on learning to cook:
Kabuki followed classic Julia Child on PBS. Self taught via The Joy of Cooking cookbook. Kabuki can cook the devil out of simple American fare. The women folk in kabuki's family are notoriously bad cooks. For four generations. It must be a curse. Thanks goodness for kabuki's penis.

kabuki on fruit and veg:
kabuki is all for the fruit but has now sworn off vegetables. they make kabuki's ass hurt. kabuki may swear off vegetables but kabuki will never swear off fruit.

Once, twice, three times a lady.
kabuki on sex appeal:
kabuki is the type of woman that wars are fought over. also known as 'a fragile flower'. a rare and unique beauty, kabuki is above all a giving woman. with a penis.

kabuki on Infomaniac’s Filthy Friday:
I smell London
I smell France
I smell other people's underpants

Kabuki is once again appalled. It must be Friday.

kabuki on aging:
If kabuki recognized aging then this could possibly have meaning. But kabuki is timeless, and refuses to acknowledge time's cold grasp. It is good to be kabuki.

Kabuki is ageless, timeless, perfection on a stick.

More kabuki quotes:

I need jazz hands and I need them stat!

i am kabukizero - and you are not

Even in the face of misfortune, I have just enough strength to see the funny.

Mirror mirror on the wall - who is the prettiest ballerina in the world? damn right its kabuki!!!

Have you ever mopped a floor in a silk kimono and white face? Kabuki thought not.

kabuki's week was so particularly unpleasant, kabuki asked it to eat a bag of dicks

Great. Phyllis Diller is in heaven and I am stuck on earth with Sarah Silverman.

I've got to boogie oogie oogie till I just can't boogie no more.

So damn hip. So little time.

And finally, from kabuki to all of us:

i would like to express my gratitude to one and all. I am so very blessed to have found so much love and understanding here in the blog verse. Everyone please have some ice cream, on kabuki.

if you hurry there is still time to fit a little joy into today. Make some rice krispy squares, i dare you. fit some fun into your life, because you may not be able to later.

I'm gonna live, live, live untill I die, die, die. love to all.

Now lets all put on a fez, and party like its 1999.

UPDATE: Read the Find A Grave memorial to Billy aka kabuki zero here, beautifully written by Cookie.


  1. Its very seldom I come here and find sad news. Very sad. There will never be another Kabuki Zero. Maybe for new years eve, white face may be in order. Beautiful tribute MJ.

  2. I am Crushed. There had been a long gap in Kabuki brilliance and only recently he had put up a new post. I was so delighted to think he would be gracing us again.

    2016 has been a cruel year.

  3. Much love and sympathy to all those touched by kabuki zero.

    What a year this has been for losses of icons.

  4. *Dabbing eyes with a lavender hanky*

  5. *puts Rice Crispies on shopping list*

  6. Now that's what I call an obituary! RIP Kabuki. Jx

  7. Wonderful tribute MJ... And just when i thought the prettiest ballerina in the world was strapping on the points again...

    I've been just a tad sad over Christmas

  8. Like you Bitches, The Mistress was thrilled that after an absence of three years, kabuki had returned. But sadly, his comeback tour was cut short.

    The Mistress would have preferred a kabuki zero comeback tour to a Phil Collins comeback tour.

    Like an idiot, I keep clicking on his blog, hoping it is a hoax. Hoping that kabuki is having a laugh on us. But no.

    Another quote from kabuki:

    kabuki is like the cool breeze, here then gone. like the mist coming off the lake. unless that lake smells like dead fish, because kabuki would not feature that aroma.

  9. “ Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. ”

    - Eskimo saying...

    Farewell, Kabuki. Another star joins the heavens and shines with a brilliant light.

  10. what a fucking brilliant homage this post is.

  11. Ach HErrgottnochmal ...
    From "interesting" to "brilliant !", Kabuki-san's writing was never boring.
    Rest in peace, Kabuki-san.

  12. Individuals like Kabuki-san are so rare these days sadly. And now, they are rarer. May HaShem embrace and provide you a wonderful theatre in the world to come.

    **cuddles up to the warmth of Mistress feet as is proper**

  13. MJ, this was simply brilliant. I miss him. Gawd did he hate Donald Trump. But Kabuki had no time for hate. A snap of the fingers and you were banished. Luckily, that never happened to me.

  14. Kabuki has a Find A Grave Memorial Page, see below. Forest Lawn, Cathedral City, Mortuary is handling the arrangements.

    1. COOKIE: Thank you so much for creating the Find A Grave memorial for Billy aka “kabuki zero.” It’s beautifully written. His obit on didn’t do him justice so I appreciate you creating a tribute to him. He certainly deserved it.

      Tonight I was seized by a feeling that he was still here with us and was playing a joke… about to spring the news on us that he’s perfectly fine. Your memorial brings it all home and I have to face up to the fact that he isn’t coming back.

      Long live the spirit of kabuki zero.

  15. A lovely tribute.

    I miss Bill so much, his humor could be counted upon to lift the spirit and the soul.

    RIP Kabuki