Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Shitting Gold Bricks



A Royal Canadian Mint employee is guilty of smuggling 22 gold nuggets called "pucks" in his rectum over a period of several months.

The gold pucks are “about the diameter of an Oreo cookie, and about two-and-a-half times as thick.



The pucks are worth a total of $165,000 Cdn.

The thief set off the metal detector more than other employees. Each time it happened, he was given a manual search with a hand-held wand. He passed the search every time. Apparently, the handheld detectors are less sensitive than the walk-through detectors and do not detect metal in body cavities.



Ontario Court Justice, Peter Doody said of the thief:
"His locker contained Vaseline and latex gloves, which could have been used to insert a puck into his rectum."
He added that there were no cameras in the locker room. Since the arrest, security measures have been upgraded at the facility.



Note: We here at Infomaniac do not recommend using your rectum as a carryall.

25 comments:

  1. I think I met that guy twice. Does he go by the name Fort Knox? I always thought he was worth his weight in gold.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I'll be wearing latex gloves if I go to buy gold. ewww.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DINAHMOW: If?

      You mean to say that buying gold isn’t an everyday activity for you?

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. This is shocking.
      Do whiskers re-grow ?

      Delete
    2. This story is very upsetting to me, as is anything to do with animal abuse.

      Thanks for bringing it to our attention but could we please not comment further about it?

      Please don’t take it personally.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. JON: ♫Now that you’re gone,
      All that's left is a band of gold
      - Freda Payne

      Delete
  5. Well, we've found the inspiration for the next Bond villain...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MR. DeVICE: And it looks something like this.

      Delete
    2. Shirley Bassey singing: Golllld Bottttom. He's the man, the man with the Midas arse
      Oh dear. Doesn't have the same ring, does it?

      Delete
  6. Why all the fuss? I'm sure it's not the first time lube and rubber gloves have been found in a locker room...

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh my! (i do love that look on his face! LOL)

    xoxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SAVANNAH: It's like he hasn't a care in the world!

      I'd literally be shitting gold bricks if security was patting me down.

      Delete
  8. Most bottoms I know I would be rolling their eyes and calling him "amateur"

    **rolls eyes whilst placing chaste kisses on Mistress feet as is proper**

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gold, always believe in your soul....
    Or maybe your arse.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete