The Haunted Vagina

While you’re out trick or treating tonight …



Beware of Mistress MJ’s haunted Secret Lady Place!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Filthy Friday - Hallowe'en Edition

Happy Halloweenis!


[photo via]

Hallowe’en Costumes

While you bitches were busy preparing your Hallowe’en costumes …



Ayem8y created costumes for Mistress MJ over at Mean Dirty Pirate.

The Cheese Room

Pull up a chair …



We’re spending the day in the Cheese Room …


[photos via]

Bent Over Backwards

Mistress MJ bends over backwards to entertain you lot.

Yet most of you ungrateful bitches couldn’t be bothered to prove your worthiness.

As punishment, she is taking the day off.

Chat amongst yourselves until Wednesday.

Are You Worthy?

What have you done for Mistress MJ lately?

A Sign From Above

This has been a reminder to say “NO” to ugly footwear.





Note: This post is dedicated to Mago who appreciates and enables my passion for shoes.

Knickers Down!

Get yer knickers down, bitches, it's the weekend!



What will you be doing?


And now in other news …

Do you remember last year’s Infomaniac Christmas Party?

Well it turns out that someone had a camera running and Ginro has captured extensive footage of it here!

Filthy Friday

(click to enlarge!)

I’m Listening

Tell your troubles to Mistress MJ …

Eat at Dirty Dicks

Continuing now with today’s restaurant theme …



(There’s another post below if you missed it. Stop me before I post again today.)

All You Can Eat

Forgot your pants at the dinner table?

Found yourself bare at the buffet?


(click)

Then you can eat all you want with no need to loosen your belt afterwards!

Tranny Appreciation Day

Today we honour all those guys who like to feel girly.

We salute trannies: i.e. laydeez who like to do laydeez things.


Inexplicable DeVice (IVD): Norfolk’s second finest trannsexual.


We regret to inform IVD that Norfolk’s finest tranny is Becky from King’s Lynn, Norfolk …




Becky is the creator of the Tranny Licence which you’ll recall from yesterday’s post.

A handful of you tranny wannabees filled out your licences but this is what we have to say about THAT …

You’re all a bunch of rubbish transvestites!

With one exception …

MISS MITZI:



Miss Mitzi is the REAL thing, bitches. The belle of the ball. The belle WITH the balls!


Nonetheless, you rubbish wannabee trannies took the time to fill out your Tranny Licences so it’s only fair that we showcase you now, in no particular order.

Anonymous Boxer’s dog, Miss Coco:




Miss Lulu Labonne:




Miss Severa Snape (Leah’s submission):




Miss Maxi Cane: (rubbish Irish transvestite)




Miss Cyber Petra: (rubbish Danish transvestite)



UPDATE:

Miss Wil Harrison:





And so on this, Tranny Appreciation Day, we raise our glasses to trannies around the world.



Take a tranny to lunch today and treat her like a lady!

Tranny Licence

So, you want to become a transvestite?

It’s a question we asked way back in 2007 but with so many new bitches joining us since then, it’s time to revisit the topic.



Ginro has already signed up for his Tranny Licence (pictured above).

Go here to get yours!

If enough of you create Tranny Licences and email them to us, Infomaniac will post them all later this week.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Get licenced, bitches!

Free Cuddles

Today only on Infomaniac, we're giving it away.



So who wants a cuddle?

Rubber Gloves Phobia

We were amused to find this comment from BEAST on KAZ’s blog …

Pa Beasty was a chemist and used to hide a rubber glove containing a bit of dry ice in my chest of drawers .when an unsuspecting young Beast opened a drawer the rubber glove used to leap out with the expanding c02 , inflate to an enormous size and then explode..particularly 'hilarious' if the glove was filled with talcum powder.....you can imagine it got old very quickly and left me with a lifelong fear of drawers AND rubber gloves
***twitch***

Can anyone suggest a form of therapy for Beast’s fear of rubber gloves and/or his fear of drawers?

Or tell us about your own experiences with rubber gloves.

Filthy Friday

(click to enlarge ... you know you want to)

Purveyor of Houseboys

We know we said we wouldn’t post anything new ‘til Friday but we thought you’d like to know why we’re so busy today.

Our Purveyor of Houseboys is here with a fresh supply.




Mistress MJ is busy inspecting the merchandise and will return on Friday.


[photo via Damien]

Questions That Keep Us Awake

These are just a few of the questions that keep us up at night:

How does DONN get his teeth so white? …



Will BEAST ever do a load of laundry? And if so, will the stench ever come out of his stinky duvet?

Who will be the next Mr. Nude Infomaniac to replace DAMIEN?

When will ROSES admit she has a drinking problem?

Will GINRO ever become somebody’s baby daddy?

Will AYEM8Y win the Best Moaner award for his starring role in the movie Truck Stop Trollop?

Will IVD’s warty wand eventually rot and fall off? …



Will CYBERPETE ever send The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to DONN?

Will KAZ ever vote Tory?

When will EROSWINGS submit his booty to our Gallery of Alluring Arses?

Will MAGO get the snakeskin boots he so desires?

Will Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer, XL, smother her with one of her own pillows?

Will MANUEL shave off all his body hair? ...



Will Infomaniac newcomer MICHAEL RIVERS ever visit us again once he’s seen a Filthy Friday here?

If SAVANNAH moved to Atlanta, would she have to change her name?

Will JASON ever decide which Hallowe’en costume to wear?

Will MS. NATIONS give up her obsession with raising a “metric shitton of goddangedy freakin' tomatoes" and return to blogging?

Will BOXER find competent temps? How many more dogs will she get?

Will GEOFF and BETTY ever attend another social event in their lifetime?

Will MISS SCARLET have anything else named after her besides a cow and the transsexual spider that lives in Mistress MJ’s powder room? Will she ever tame her unruly bush?

Under that Bree Van de Kamp wig, is MR. FROBISHER a natural redhead? …



Will MITZI’S bruised coccyx heal in time that she may resurrect her floundering career as a Bonnie Tyler impersonator?

Will OLD KNUDSEN overcome his fear of lemurs?

Is NORMADESMOND ready for her close-up?

What will LEAH fetishize next? And will she knit a life-size Severus Snape?

Will GARFER wake up next to Carla Bruni serenading him with the Gallic version of 'Sweet Home Alabama' played on his trombone?

When will THOMBEAU call a Board of Directors meeting on Fabulon?

Where is MR. PEENEE?

Will MR. MUTLEY continue to be bothered by Icelandic swingers since he was wrongly listed as "Britains top dogger" on the Reykjavik wife swappers club website?

Whose farts smell worse? TAZZY’S or PIGGY’s?

Has HEFF ever met a beer he didn’t like?

Is WIL willing? Will Wil? Well? Will he? What?

Yes, folks. These are just a few of the many questions that keep us awake at night.

These and …

Who wrote the Book of Love?




Note: No new post 'til Friday. There's another one below this if you missed it and still need something to do.

The Red Room

Mistress MJ is ensconced in the Red Room where she is busy addressing your postcards …


(click to enlarge a little)

One of the Houseboys is by my side, licking the stamps.

What about you, bitches?

Where do you conduct your correspondence?

Do you have a desk for writing letters and paying bills? Or do you write everything from your kitchen table? Or any available flat surface? Or do you write from your "office" in the coffee shop?

Or is all your personal and business communication done online?

Postcard Winners

The postcard you'll receive is not the one above but feel free to speculate on what these fellas are getting up to in the Canadian wilderness

Thanks to everyone who commented on this post and requested a postcard from Canada.

Congratulations to the following 10 lucky postcard recipients:

KAZ
Ginro
XL
Ayem8y
Damien
Miss Scarlet
Wil
IVD
Beast
Normadesmond

Manuel: Bugger the extra $1.65. A postcard goes out to you too because your arse is my hero.

CyberPoof: You get a card too as I promised you one ages ago.

WINNERS: Send Mistress MJ your mailing address (you’ll find our email address in our Blogger Profile) and we’ll pop your postcard in the post asap.

Note: Notify Mistress MJ if you have children in your household or anyone who may be easily offended or a postman who reads your mail. Just in case we are tempted to write something naughty.

Finally…

All winners will receive the same postcard. And don’t expect a novelette written on the back … Mistress MJ is a busy woman.

Thanks, Bitches

It’s the Thanksgiving long weekend here in Canuckistan.



As a show of gratitude for your continued patronage, Mistress MJ will send postcards of Canada to a chosen few.

Due to budget restraints following restorations on the Oubliette, the Plaid Room and the Polka Dot Room; not to mention construction of the Moat; we can only send out a limited number of postcards.

Tell us why you would like to receive a postcard from Mistress MJ.

Ten lucky winners will be drawn and the results posted on Tuesday.

Polka Dot Box

Mistress MJ is away today and is leaving the Queen of Polka Dots in charge from her office in the Polka Dot Room …



As you can see, she will be phoning in regular updates to me on your behaviour.

We shall leave you to ponder the contents and meaning of the POLKA DOT BOX in front of her.

Filthy Friday – Bondage Edition

You would be shocked and appalled at the filth Mistress MJ receives from you bitches.

For example, this rude photograph from a certain TJB from Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist …



Of course, we felt compelled to share it with you here on Filthy Friday.

Is that a hospital bed?

Don’t Leave Home Without It

Mistress MJ never leaves home without her lippy.


[photo via]

How about you, bitches?

Besides the obvious housekeys, phone and cash …

What can’t you leave home without?

Polka Dot Queen

Mistress MJ will post something new several hours from now.

In the meantime, you are ordered into The Polka Dot Room!



The Polka Dot Queen has spoken.

The Polka Dot Room

Surely you are all familiar with the Plaid Room here at Infomaniac.

But how many of you have been to the Polka Dot Room? …


(click it, bitches)


Misbehave and you will find yourself in the Polka Dot Room where your every move is monitored by The Polka Dot Queen …





But that’s not all.

You will be forced to wear the Polka Dot Clown Shoes!



Remember, you are all just one misdeed away from POLKA DOT HELL!

Sculpture Garden

We’ve been thinking about installing a sculpture garden here on the grounds of Infomaniac.

We want statuary that represents who we are and what to expect when you walk through our doors.

What do you think of this one?


(click to enlarge)


Any other suggestions?

Cake-Eating Increases Productivity

Good news, cake lovers!

According to a new study, eating a piece of cake makes you more productive.



The poll shows that eating a piece of cake helps one in two Brits get more done in a day.

Nearly two-thirds (59 per cent) of those polled gained a genuine sense of happiness when physically baking a cake, and more than three in four (79 per cent) said the feeling of achievement was a confidence boost and strengthened family bonds.

But it’s not a boost for everyone, apparently.

Only 36 per cent of the Northern Irish said they were happy when baking cakes, compared to a massive 70 per cent in Scotland and 57 per cent in England.

How about you, bitches?

Celebrity Lock-Up

Welcome to a new series on Infomaniac entitled “Celebrity Lock-Up” in which we shall imprison naughty celebrities in the oubliette.

Mistress MJ forgot to raise the drawbridge over the moat last night. As a result of her negligence, Robert Downey Jr slipped silently into one of the bedchambers …




As punishment for trespassing, we have bound him to a bed in the oubliette.

Do with him what you will, bitches.



Whom else would you like to see imprisoned in the oubliette?

Don Draper Day

Mistress MJ declares this Don Draper Day ... again.



We realize that some of you would rather see nekkid old men or scantily clad women but Mistress MJ is taking a "me" day.

Because it's not always about you, you know.

Note: Mistress MJ has been a little under the weather and has not popped 'round to visit all of you yet. That is why Sundays were invented.

Filthy Friday - Kiss and Ride Edition

FYI: “Kiss and Ride” refers to short-term parking areas where automobile drivers can drop off passengers headed for subway stations, railway stations or airports.

Looks like these fellas are participating in the Kiss and Ride programme ...



Then again, perhaps they're attending a dogging event.

Other theories welcome.