Public Service Announcement #39

If you're cruising this summer on the Infomaniac Love Boat, you must wear a life jacket...

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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #38

To keep healthy this summer, stay hydrated...


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Thirst isn’t the best indicator that you need to drink. If you get thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.

Drink plenty of water, Bitches!

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #37

Stop slouching!



Slouching hurts your body and may result in aches and pains in your back, neck and shoulders.

Slouching also affects your breathing and lung capacity. Less oxygen means less energy.

So straighten up, Bitches!

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #36

Think twice before calling room service. Studies show that hotel phones have high levels of bodily fluid residue on them…


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Telephone keypads in hotel rooms were found to be teeming with over double the acceptable amount of bacteria; far more, in fact, than bathroom door handles.

Experts suggest that hotel guests protect themselves from bacteria by washing their hands, using hand sanitizer and wiping down surfaces with disinfectant wipes.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #35

Ladders are a frequent source of injuries. Please follow these safety guidelines.

Wear SHOES with non-slip soles...


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DON'T exceed the maximum load capacity of a ladder. Only one person at a time is permitted on a ladder unless the ladder is specifically designed for more than one climber...


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Climb FACING the ladder and place your feet firmly on each rung...



Center your body on the ladder and keep your belt buckle between the rails while maintaining a firm grip...


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Use secure blocking or have someone hold the ladder...



DON'T climb a ladder if you are not physically and mentally up to the task...



Failure to comply with the above regulations will result in punishment from The Mistress...



This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #34

Wash your hands after using the toilet...


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #33

Do you lick your fingers to flip the pages of books, magazines or newspapers?...


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Stop it. Stop it, right NOW.

We do not want your germs.

Unless it's your own personal property and you don't plan on lending it to someone else, do NOT lick your fingers to turn the pages.

Same goes when you're at the office and handing out pages of a report to your colleagues. No finger licking to separate one page from another.

You work in retail and you're counting money into the customer's hand? No finger licking to separate the bills.

If you really need to get a grip, there are products on the market such as rubber finger tips...



Or finger cots...



The Mistress has spoken.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #32

Please ensure that all hand and power tools are used properly, safely and in accordance with manufacturer's guidelines.



This young man did not heed our advice.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #31

Sign in the window of the Reading Room...



This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #30

Handle your weenies with care...


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Remember to follow procedures for safe meat handling.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #29

Approximately 1,600 people die annually from falling down the stairs, according to data from the Center for Disease Control's National Center for Health Statistics in the U.S.A.


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Unless you are the Prime Minister of Canada and enjoy falling down stairs as a party trick...



... then please exercise caution when using the stairs.

Here are some tips for staircase safety:

• Never run up or down stairs.
• Use the handrail!!!
• Never text or check your phone while using stairs.
• Attempting to take selfies on staircases can be fatal.
• Stairs should be well lit and clear of clutter.
• Only take one step at a time.
• Get help if you have to carry something up or down stairs.
• If the steps are located outside, be extremely careful if it is raining or snowing.
• And finally, if you live in Montréal and your stairs look like this...
  
  
... don't even think about leaving the house.  

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #28

A man was reportedly doing naked push-ups right before a vehicle struck and killed him in Portland, Oregon on Sunday.



Police officers responded after receiving a call about a man running naked in traffic. They received other calls reporting that the man was doing push-ups in the roadway and was struck by a vehicle. He died at the scene.

Let this be a reminder to you not to play in the middle of the road. Instead, we invite you to use the Infomaniac Gymnasium.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #27

Please do not drive distracted.

In other words, no phoning, texting or checking your emails...

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No applying makeup or curling your eyelashes...

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And no obstructing the steering wheel...


♫Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel♫

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #26

Protect your banana from the cold this winter.


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #25

As Frank Zappa sang, "Don't you eat that yellow snow."


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Note: A wind chill warning has been issued for my neck of the woods. The temperature as I speak is -26°Celsius but with the wind chill factor it feels like -37°C (-34.6 degrees Fahrenheit)! Frostbite on exposed skin may occur in less than 10 minutes. At these temperatures, we do not encourage you to pee your name in the snow, as is the Canadian custom.

Public Service Announcement #24

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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #23

If you have delicate skin like our kabuki zero...



...you may benefit from a parasol.

Or you could grab your umbrella...


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A recent study shows that umbrellas are almost as effective as sunscreen where UV protection is concerned.

“Umbrellas aren’t perfect, so you should use them to complement the sunscreen you’re already wearing,” say the study's authors.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announement #22

Just because David Bowie pees into a toaster doesn't mean that you should too.


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Surely this is Photoshopped as we cannot believe that Bowie, who "in the mid-70s, when he was ravaged by cocaine, living off a diet of red peppers and milk and so paranoid that he apparently kept his own urine in a fridge lest persons unknown steal it" would pee in public.

Nonetheless, let this be a reminder to you that water and electricity do not mix.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #21

Beat the heat, Bitches.

As you can see, Mistress MJ is doing her best to keep cool...


[photo by Jacques Biederer]

The heatwave continues and with the humidex factored in, today will feel like 44 degrees Celsius (that's over 111 degrees Fahrenheit to you American Bitches.)

We here at Infomaniac advise you to SLIP-SLOP-SLAP if you plan on spending any time out in the sun...


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And we cannot stress this enough. Keep hydrated...


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement #20

Brush three times a day.


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.