Disco Party!

Grab onto the disco ball and spin yourselves around, bitches!

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Welcome to Infomaniac’s disco party or as CyberPete likes to believe, an extended birthday party just for him.

We hope you’ve brought a friend…

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And your platform shoes…

[thanks, AyeM8y]

But before you try to make your way past the velvet rope, tell us what you’re wearing. This will determine whether you have a chance or not on gaining admission.

Then tell us your favourite disco tune. We know you have one.

And while you’re waiting to get a platformed sole through the door, you can listen to Mistress MJ’s fave…

The fabulous Sylvester singing You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)…



UPDATE: CyberPete has arrived and says...

GET OUTTA MY WAY!

Party Plans

Mistress MJ is too busy to respond to your ceaseless nattering this evening as she is making plans for Thursday’s disco party at the new Infomaniac headquarters…

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Come back sometime on Thursday with your platforms and polyester.

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

Happy birthday to our Kylie-loving Danish poofter, CyberPete…

You know him as the “Win a New Boyfriend!” winner and as Infomaniac’s “High Maintenance Queen”.

He is also the only Dane to have won The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts.

And he’s the only person (to the best of our knowledge) to bleed glitter into a panty liner…

Join us in wishing CyberPete a very happy *cough* 29th *cough* birthday.

You may peruse his birthday ‘Wish List’ here.

That Agonizing Itch

Last week, in the comments section of this post, I posed the following question to AyeM8y aka Mean Dirty Pirate aka Mr. Nude Infomaniac…

You raise an interesting topic of etiquette, Ayem8y…
What should one do if ones genitals itch whilst in public?

He responded with…

Rub your crotch on the nearest person but do so while placing your hands on them ever so elegantly.

Later, Ask the Cool Cookie chimed in with his take on the situation…

For both men and women, if one bathes regularly, this should not be a problem. However, in the event that the unthinkable happens, find the nearest cloak room, Mens or Ladies Lounge where one can scratch ones self silly.

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We here at Infomaniac want to know your opinion.

What is the proper etiquette for scratching one’s private bits in public?

Bazoom Girl

While we await new photos of Mr. Nude Infomaniac, please welcome our Bazoom Girl…

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The Men In My Past

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Go on. Tell us all about the men in your past.

Or the ladies, if that's more your style.

Saturday

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YAY!

Filthy Friday

A misbehaving houseboy is assigned latrine duty at Infomaniac headquarters...

Thanks to CyberPete for submitting this week's Filthy Friday image.

Public Service Announcement #9

For some of you, it's already too late...


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This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Become A Witch!

I’ve sent away for this lesson plan on becoming a witch from The Academy of Mystic Arts…


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You see, there’s an opening for new Coven members over at Inexplicable DeVice’s place.

The competition is fierce.

Some of the names I’m up against that you’ll recognize are our very own CyberPete, Beast, Eroswings, Tazzy & Piggy, and Princess.

I feel I have the edge as this lesson plan promises I’ll “Learn the secrets formerly reserved for Coven Initiates easily, quickly…within the privacy of your own home.”

IVD (Inexplicable DeVice) will unveil the new Coven lineup on the 9th of October.

In the meantime, why do you think Mistress MJ would make an ideal Coven member?

Fruit Platter

By now you’ve all seen what our friend Beast does when presented with a tempting fruit platter…



And we say fine. Each to his own. Who amongst us is without quirks? A show of hands will suffice. (Follow the rules laid out in “Hand Don'ts”)

But the line must be drawn somewhere and Beast has overstepped the boundaries of good taste and decency by force-feeding poor Miss Scarlet from a “gently used” fruit platter collected from the grimy back kitchen of Café C…


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While we’re on the subject of food-related crimes, it’s no secret that Beast was recently discovered rubbing himself vigorously with a scone. We were enjoying a lovely cream tea only to find Beast committing the previously unheard of and undocumented act of “scone frottage.” We have no further comment at this time.

Public Service Announcement #8

Hand Don’ts

Just as there are certain hand positions that will enhance your appearance and heighten your beauty, so there are things you should avoid doing with your hands, because they detract. Here are five:


(Click to enlarge or read text below)

1. Do not let the hands hang like dead fish at the sides. This detracts from the silhouette of the figure and looks lifeless.

2. Do not fidget. The more quiet the hands, the more poise there is expressed.

3. Do not squeeze the hands together. This screams of tension.

4. Do not hold both hands interlocked at the waistline. It adds weight to the figure.

5. Do not fold the arms and hide the hands. It drags the bustline down, makes the shoulders sag and adds weight to the waistline.
Exception: If you are tall and thin, you may fold your arms if you keep your hands exposed and watch your posture.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Note: Mistress MJ forgets where she found this image but there are more in the series to come at a later date. So practice what’s set out before you. We here at Infomaniac expect you to look your best at all times and always act like the laydeez that you are. And by “laydeez” you know we mean all of you.

Fag Hat

Yet another fab smoking accoutrement (if I were a smoker, that is)…


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Searching through my handbag for my fags can be such a bore.

Group Shower

Our road trip has been suspended as Mistress MJ has been called back to Infomaniac Headquarters where renovations are underway.

We are having a group shower installed to save money…


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Volunteers are needed to test it out.

Fruit Basket

We finally made it out of Puddiphatts and continued on our journey.

We were feeling a little peckish after all that kerfuffle so we stopped at the green grocers where we saw a special on fruit…


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Of course some of us couldn’t resist showing off our fine melons.

Miss Scarlet, knowing that Beast can’t resist a fruit basket, is seen here luring him into her trap…



Her cunning plan worked!...

Lost in Puddiphatts

Following a lovely cream tea in Dorset, Mistress MJ, Miss Scarlet and a motley assortment of Infomaniac bitches headed out along the Jurassic coast to continue their journey.

Hours passed with no one paying any particular attention to our whereabouts until Princess (pictured below) exclaimed, “We’re lost!”


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Someone (Beast) had forgotten to pack the GPS device and we’d ended up somewhere called Puddiphatts.

The Durdle Door (which Mistress MJ longed to see) cannot be seen on the horizon so obviously we’ve strayed well off course.

Does anyone know anything at all about this Puddiphatts? Is it even on the map? Do they at least have a spot for a lovely cream tea so that we might collect our thoughts and regroup?

Tell us what you know of this mysterious dot on the landscape.

Road Trippin’ Refreshments

On day one of our road trip, the Infomaniac Bitches pause for a lovely cream tea (tea served with scones, clotted cream and jam) at Café C in Dorchester, Dorset…


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A lively discussion ensued ‘round the table when Mitzi enquired, “How do you take your cream tea?” Cream on the top of the scone first followed by a dollop of jam (Devonian method)? Or jam on the top of the scone first followed by cream (Cornish method)?

Feel free to jump in if you have an opinion to offer one way or another.

And we’d like to know your favourite tea room (phrase subject to interpretation) so that we might pop by when the road trip passes through your town.

Road Trippin'

If you’ve read Beast’s Fevered Imagination post, you’ll know that Mistress MJ and Miss Scarlet have set off on a Big Adventure…


[created and photographed by Beast]

Together we are taking the road trip to end all road trips and we’re inviting you to come with us!

That’s right.

Sign up here if you’d like to join us. (Complimentary refreshments provided by Café C in Dorchester, Dorset).

Photos of our Big Adventure will follow as we traverse the highways, byways and truck stops of the world.

Moving Right Along

During her World Domination Tour, Mistress MJ moved Infomaniac headquarters to the colony of Upper Canada.


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Mistress MJ is busy giving the houseboys directions on where to place the furniture.

Since she has not had time to visit all you bitches, tell her what you’ve been doing and/or blogging about lately.

Welcome Back, Bitches!

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Please form an orderly queue as Mistress MJ takes roll call.

And do NOT pay any attention to Beast's fevered imagination.