Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service

The staff of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service (pictured above) is manning the phone lines, ready to match up prospective clients with you, Infomaniac’s readers.Note that this is a junior staff-in-training member. Our regular staff member (pictured on Monday) ran off with Leah, an Infomaniac reader. It’s hard to keep good help around here.


Today’s client comes to us from Philadelphia, Pennsylvannia in the United States.

In honour of the birthday girl (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAIDY!) today Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service will attempt to auction off Maidy to the highest bidder.


Maidy


Both men and women may bid on Maidy as she’s not fussy. She’s quite the lezzer but she likes the odd bit of cock as well.

Bid whatever you can. Don’t get too carried away. A few Mars Bars or shiny objects and she’s all yours.

Let the bidding begin.

Oh, a word of warning. There’s a good reason why Maidy is nicknamed the American Psycho Bitch from Hell. Buyer Beware. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Celebrity Arse – Gina Gershon

Today Infomaniac presents the first request in our new series, Celebrity Arse.

Today’s request comes from the American Psycho Bitch From Hell…yes, that’s right... Maidy.


GINA GERSHON’S ARSE


Now before you go kvetching about how that’s not a full moon, let me tell you that I have a five-minute rule.

If I have not found a full-moon celebrity arse photo for you within 5 minutes, you get whatever I find instead.

And how can you complain? She’s showing a tit too!

As a bonus, since I know you’re throwing a tantrum as we speak, here’s a shot of Stacy Keibler’s arse.



STACY KEIBLER’S ARSE – Bonus shot


Further bonus…clicking on the pics makes them big enough to lick.

Google Searches – Day 2

Today we continue reading about the Google searches that led people to Infomaniac. Funny, isn’t it, how many of them are looking for Maidy?

GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR MAIDY



Fuck my pergnant wife


Sex toy tester
woman who test-drives sex toys
Skank easy female




Concrete vibrator slut


Concrete vibrator porn
Most powerful vibrator ever
Industrial strength vibrating bullet




Slippery snatch



Sex Maidy
Clam-jousting woman
dildo exercise




crabby bitch charm


Maidy dirty
Maidy urinate
Maidy porn




woman squirt milk for coffee



how to squirt milk from your breasts
Watch her give head and squirt milk
Lactation religion

GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR MAIDY & MJ TOGETHER

Catfighting bitches



Backyard bitch fights
Dirty filthy bitches
Catfight nipple yanking fight
Psycho bitch fights



Women in catfights giving wedgies


maniac bitches
filthy little harlets
bitches fight boobs pop out
lactating milk catfights




bitches competing over cock

and finally…

GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR MAIDY & GEO TOGETHER

Best dirty shag pics

Bush Lover

We know you voted for Satan but we still love you, Maidy.

Three-Way Bitch Fight!

MJ vs MAIDY & FIRST NATIONS!

THE CLEAN CANUCK vs THE DIRTY AMERICAN BITCHES!



Ringside seats still available!

You’ve witnessed bitch fights here before between that American Psycho Bitch Maidy and me.

But now, those TWO filthy American bitches, Maidy AND First Nations have declared war on me… separately. But I’m bringing them here together under one roof for a showdown.


This is how it looks when Maidy and I get down and dirty…



brutal


Really, the only reason Maidy wants to fight me is so she has an excuse to feel me up. Horny bitch that she is. To appease her, I pretend to like it.

Maidy’s just popped a sprog and she’s back in fighting form. But now she has a secret weapon that she can use against me….

CAUTION...


NSFW pic coming up…






If she squirts me in the eye, I don’t stand a chance.



As for First Nations (FN), she’s a tough-talkin’ motorcycle mama and I can only imagine the mayhem that will ensue when she tries to take me on. I’m guessing this will be the scene…









FN and I have issues over fellow blogger Old Knudsen. You see, both FN and I are hardcore Knudsenites.



FN wants to hump him. I just want him to bring me my tea. I told her there’s enough Knudsen for everybody but will she listen? So it’s time to take a swing at her if I can dodge her big tits and even bigger gob.

Don’t expect her ‘round here right away. She sleeps ‘til noon Pacific Standard Time and then it takes her a couple of hours to put her slap on.

Right! Let the action begin!

All 3 bitches in this fight reside in North America so don’t expect the first swing ‘til later.

And the rest of you? Feel free to jump in and referee any time. Or just cheer me on.

Are you ready to rrrrumble?

Maidy’s Bitch – Continued

Geo’s bitch training continues as MJ hands the reins to Maidy…






Later that day, MJ and Maidy put their bitches through their paces…




Maidy: Your bitch is hung like a horse!
MJ: And he’s hot to trot. But enough about them. Howz about spending a little quality time together this evening?
Maidy. Right. Let’s put these bitches out to pasture.



Later that evening…




Maidy: This isn’t quite what I had in mind when you mentioned “quality time.”
MJ: Any more sass from you and we’re up for another bitchfight.
¿Comprende?

Maidy’s Bitch

An open letter to Maidy on the occasion of her acquisition of a man slave.

Dear Maidy:

Congratulations! I read the following bit of good news on your blog…

Long story into Reader’s Digest format, I’m going back to work. I can’t do the SAHM thing, either mentally or financially.

So guess who is gonna be Mr Mom? That’s right, Geo! He’s gonna be my Mr. Mom, my manny, my bitch housekeeper.

*pictures Geo in French maid’s outfit*

Ooooo, I gonna so get slapped (and not in the good way) when Geo reads that. Maybe I should PhotoShop it.

So that’s that. I go back to work 01 August 2007. And as for Geo? His truck driving days are, for now, on stand-by.


Maidy: I, MJ, am here to help you whip that bitch Geo into shape.

I’ve taken Geo aside and stitched up this darling little outfit for him…



Geo-rgia


Comely, isn’t he?

As you know, I wrote the book on bitch training so I can impart all my worldly wisdom to you.

Geo’s a military man so you’ve got your work cut out for you. He’s used to giving the orders.

I understand what it’s like to have a headstrong bitch. I have to rein SID in all the time what with that Irish temperment of his…







Let Geo think he’s in control (read all about the technique in Chapter 9 of my book.) Soon he’ll be down on all fours, doing your bidding...









Sometimes, if he gets out of hand, you may need to apply gentle pressure…









There’s so much for you to learn, Maidy dear.

Oh fuck it. Just send me the plane fare to Philly. I’ll be Geo’s personal trainer ‘til you get the hang of it. You and me, Maidy. We’ll work on this side by side…




Maidy: More tea please, Geo-rgia.
MJ: You missed a spot, bitch.




Before long, Geo will be the handy little manny of your dreams and you can relax and take some time off while he keeps the home fires burning.

So what’s say we ditch the bitches and run off on vacation together, Maidy? It's happy hour!

This Space For Rent

Maidy is offering space for rent on her pregnant belly.

So go ahead. Suggest a slogan you’d like to see emblazoned on her big bump.

Make it as long as you like. There's plenty of room!

She'll also be renting it out as storage after the baby's born. Got anything you'd like to stash in there?

My Back-Up Bitch

Thanks to all you wannabe bitches who volunteered following yesterday’s request to become my back-up slave when Slave Numero Uno (SID) is unavailable.



THE WINNER!

My New Back-Up Bitch:





Old Knudsen

Tarty yet tantalizing. Crusty yet comely. Knudsen’s likely to be disobedient but Mistress MJ enjoys a challenge.



RUNNER-UP:

Should Old Knudsen be unable to fulfill his duties, the first runner-up, Tony, will take his place.

Caveat: Tony is required to provide Spotted Dick and Polish Sausage when summoned.

HONOURABLE MENTION:

The tag team/husband/wife team of Geo and Maidy. But with Geo on the road so often and Maidy a hormone-fueled psycho bitch, it just isn’t worth the headache.




THE LOSER:




Stevey

Carly is welcome to this, the dregs of Dorset society. Just knowing that she has him down on all fours scrubbing the kitchen floor as we speak (in her pinny) is comeuppance enough for me.

Maidy’s Vibrator Collection

"Bi” now you’re all familiar with American Psycho Bitch From Hell, Maidy aka Maidink.

Voted two years in a row as “Bi Bitch Philadelphians Would Most Like to Shag.”

But what you don’t know about her is that old “Slippery Snatch” has a closet full to bursting with vibrators.

The dirty bitch.

I’m here to expose the collection to the world.

Let’s begin with the most powerful models.

Maidy’s industrial strength concrete vibrator collection.





and





The models above are the vibrators Maidy pulls out when she’s dreaming of Stacy Kiebler or Nick Beyeler.


Let’s hear what they’re saying about these sturdy sex toys . . .

The 10-inch vibrator comes with a 1-1/16" rod and a hose long enough for any task. Even for satisfying that horny American Psycho Bitch Maidy.

Features a radial fan that runs cooler and lasts longer.

Rugged design hits harder, at lower speeds.

Delivers 12,000 vibrations per minute (vpm).

Now that we’ve seen the most vigorous vibrators behind Maidy’s closed doors, let’s have a look at the models she pulls out just for fun. When a less potent pulsator will get the job done.



Hello Kitty Vibrator



The Hello Kitty Vibrator is no longer available. The company’s molds were seized and destroyed.

Maidy was fortunate to pick up a second hand vibrator on eBay.



Talking Vibrator



The Talking Vibrator comes complete with a REAL mans voice, saying:

Go away, Ive got a headache
Mmm, you're looking cute tonight honey
Sorry, I have to get up early tomorrow
Hell, can't you get a real man?



The Tongue and The Tongue Tingler



Sometimes that bitch just needs a good

Tongue

lashing.





Video Voyeur




An insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with powerful, multi-speed vibrating bullet...Easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR.

Maidy, nothing personal but you can keep your home movies to yourself.



Vibrating Hairbrush




The Vibrating Hairbrush.

For those unruly pubes.




Scrubby Brush



Vibrating Scrubby Brush.

Doubles as a toilet brush.

Combines a cheap thrill with a clean bathroom.



Buzzing Beaver Vibrator



And now, in the interest of maintaining foreign relations, we bring you the Buzzing Beaver Vibrator.

A symbol of Canada and of my friendship with old “Slippery Snatch” herself.

Blogger Bitches

Last night I received a lovely pome by email from none other than our SID (Stupid Irish Daddy.)

SID: The Poet Laureate of Northern Ireland.

SID: The Bard of Bitch Fights, himself.



MJ & Maidy before reading SID's pome



Blogger Bitches

By SID


Is that a ladder in your tights?
Was often heard on February nights
As Maidy and MJ undressed delights,
For their filthy cat bitch fights

How it started? No-one knows
Canuck and Yank as history goes
Two countries, shite, we all agree
"C'mon! They've started and it’s free!"

The favourite is the pregnant Yank
The other one just likes to wank
The bloggers two, oh filthy pair
"Oh look she's grabbed her by the hair"

A pube is ripped from skin so soft
And held by Maidy's hand aloft
MJ screams ...."you dirty cow"
Stilletto heels are piercing now

Geo snaps, a pic is taken!
A breast slipped out, if I'm not mistaken
Cream and mud is thrown by all
The pervs who often like to call

Teeth and legs and scratches too
You can't get better in the zoo
The felines brace and down once more
As MJ tries for oral score

Their fighting now all through the days
The names, the taunts, the filthy ways
For me a Catholic, it is a sin
So why the fuck can't I join in?

Alas, this fights' for brazen hussies
Tarnished nails and broken gussies
And so we watch these bitches brawl
Dirty cunts yes, you and all!




MJ & Maidy after reading SID’s pome

Bitch Fight! Carly vs Maidy vs MJ

Has it really been five days since the last bitch fight?

"PERGnant" American Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy continues to get on my tits therefore the catfight continues.

And look who’s joining in!

It’s none other than Carly of Dorset, England and her spectacular double D’s.




Carly’s fun pillows


(Carly, for those of you who don’t already know, is the long-suffering wife of that filthy mong Steve.)

Let’s hear it for foreign relations, folks.

An American, A Canuck and a Brit fighting it out for top bitch.

We fight dirty! . . .






But wait!

It looks like more than the gloves are coming off! . . .







So which cuntry are you supporting?

Bitch Fight! La Troisième Partie

Time out!

There’s no point posting today as Maidy’s husband Geo has done all the work for me in his “Bitch fight takes a break” post.

Thanks, Geo. You’re a real sport.