You WILL Be Prettier!

Mistress MJ is fed up with you lot looking frumpy and unkempt.

Watch this brief video clip and take note!


[via]

"You WILL be prettier, you WILL be more popular!" Dammit!

This important message is brought to you by the Infomaniac House of Beauty.

Happy Birthday, CyberPete!

Bitches, did you know that our little Danish friend CyberPete loves lifeguards?


(click)


With that in mind, Infomaniac presents a special birthday pressie to CyberPete …


Wind me up…I’ll swim 25 feet!

Enjoy your junior lifeguard “swimming doll” with rust-resistant motor!


Note: IVD’s birthday story to you is a much better gift but at least you can be thankful I didn’t bake you a cake.

Losing My Mind

Mistress MJ has lost her mind and must spend the day shopping for a new one.



See you on Tuesday, bitches.

Hot Tub Homo

We’ve anxiously awaited the return of Inexplicable DeVice (IVD) from his holidays in Yorkshire.

We’d hoped for some photos of the scenic hills and dales and sure enough, IVD delivered.

But we weren’t expecting to see this! …


(click to get up close and personal)

Why are there so many bubbles? Has he eaten a dodgy curry?

What does that sign on the wall say?

Is that duct tape holding the plumbing together?

Is he nekkid?

Can you catch herpes from a hot tub?

And lastly, where’s my postcard?

The Moat

Following yesterday’s blognapping attempt instigated by Donn, we have been forced to take security matters into our own hands.

We have constructed a moat around Infomaniac.





Tresspassers will be prosecuted.

Filthy Friday –Pipe Smoking Edition

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Birthday Cake!

Double birthday celebrations are in order today as we say “Happy Birthday!” to KAZ in Manchester, England and Alasdair (aka NWTrunner) in the Northwest Territories, Canada.


[photo via]

Everyone help yourself to ...... CAKE!

MANFLU Epidemic

It’s MANFLU season again.


(click to enlarge to experience the horror that is MANFLU)
[image via]

Just when you thought it was safe to mingle amongst the unwashed masses, both CyberPete and Mr. Peenee have been struck down with dreadful cases of MANFLU.

Mr. Peenee whinges on (and on) about it here.

Please offer up your Novenas and prayers to our ailing friends.

What precautions are you taking to guard against the dreaded MANFLU?

Titty Tuesday

(click to inflate)

Like the woman pictured, Mistress MJ is exhausted so do not expect much from her today.

Consider yourself lucky if she visits your blog or responds to your comments.

Now would somebody fetch Mistress MJ a pillow?

Last Day of Summer

It’s the last day of summer, bitches.



Get out and enjoy it before you get all tied up!

And while we have you here, what was the highlight of your summer?

Cha-Cha-Cha

We’re at home listening to our Cha Cha records today …



What are you doing, bitches?

Later that evening …



And remember…nice girls don’t wear cha cha heels.

Talk Like a Pirate Day Boycott

We here at Infomaniac are boycotting International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

So don’t even THINK about talking like a pirate.

Click on the images …







Thanks to Ginro for all the images.

Filthy Friday

Thanks, Kevin!

Institute of Oral Love

Many of you are students at the school of hard knockers known as Mistress MJ’s School for Unruly, Insolent Bitches.

But are you aware of the school’s annex? …


[photo via]

Welcome to The Infomaniac Institute of Oral Love!

We tried to keep it a secret until opening day. But that little saucepot TJB over at Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist posted about it here earlier.

Space is limited and as TJB says …

“It’s not too late to enroll. Mistress MJ will be happy to greet you at the Emissions... Admissions Office.”

Entertaining Tips #1

Offer your guests a beverage…


UPDATE:


Sailor Donn at your service. What’s yer poison, matey?

Public Service Announcement #2

Practice safety when working with knives.

Always use a cutting board.

Stay focused when holding a knife and cut away from the body.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Crisco Party

Mistress MJ is away again today and must find something to keep you amused.

Last week we went to considerable time and expense to bring you an entertaining release party.

However, it’s painfully obvious through what expired on that occasion, that all you lot need for a good time is a steady stream of booze and a tub of Crisco.



And so, as Mistress MJ walks out the door, we make the following declaration…

It’s Crisco Day on Infomaniac!

Enjoy yourselves, you filthy bitches.

And there had better not be a mess to clean up when we get back.

Let's Eat Out!

Let’s all go out for lunch!

I think we’re all agreed not to eat here again …



So this time you get to pick the restaurant ...

The Painful Sounds

Hot on the heels of their sister group, The Joyful Sounds, it’s The Painful Sounds! …


(left to right) Ginro, Roses, Miss Scarlet)
[cover art by Ginro]

Welcome to The Painful Sounds release party!

Ginro sent me the demo of their debut album “Guide Me, MJ” and we know you’ll find it danceable.

Mistress MJ is away for the day so turn the volume up to eleven and fight for your right to party!

We have no idea what time the band members (Ginro, Roses or Miss Scarlet) will show up … or even IF they will show up. Roses, in particular, is prone to drinking binges and we can’t guarantee her attendance.

If you manage to find them in the crowd, be sure to get their autographs.

And if you have questions about The Painful Sounds, feel free to ask them.

Success hasn’t spoiled The Painful Sounds yet so they’re approachable.

You might even score with one of them, if you’re lucky.

Have fun, bitches!



Everybody dance now!

Filthy Friday – Upside Down Edition

(click for biggery)

Hairway to Heaven

Could The Joyful Sounds be related to The Faith Tones?

Intermission

Why don't you pop 'round to the refreshment centre whilst we enjoy the intermission?





See you back here on Thursday, bitches.

Back to School

You have enrolled in The Mistress’s School for Unruly, Insolent Bitches.

It is a great privilege to serve The Mistress but you must submit to proper training.



Oh dear. We seem to have misplaced the curriculum.

Which courses did you select?

Happy Birthday, Thombeau!

It all began innocently enough.

We were shopping online for houseboys when we discovered a bejeweled oasis of divine decadence; a galaxy of glamour; a kaleidoscope of camp and kitsch.

We had piloted our starship onto Planet Fabulon.

And we would never look back.



Cocktail in hand, houseboys at our beck and call, we flounced through the funhouse of fabulosity that is Fabulon.

Soon we would encounter the other inhabitants of this stunning celestial body: known to all as FABULONIANS.

You probably recognize a few of these Fabulonians for they include TJB (Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist); Ayem8y (Mean Dirty Pirate); Mr. Peenee; Jason; Muscato; Damien; Mr. Peacock; Kevin; La Diva Cucina; Arthur Ignatowski and so many more!


The Fabulon Board of Directors


Naturally, you have questions.

What will you find when you visit Fabulon?

Thombeau speaks …

There's an open bar, an assortment of exotic fruit, dancing girls, house boys, bitter queens, aging seamstresses, snake charmers, Europeans, role models, dowagers, faeries, recovering goths, porn stars, starving artists, courtesans, survivors, pastry chefs, supermodels, ladies-in-waiting, native New Yorkers, sweet transvestites, sailors, club kids, high-priced hookers, bohemians, dandies, milliners, secret agents, sisters of Sappho, vampires, auteurs, voyeurs, poseurs, couturiers, friends of Dorothy, characters, hair hoppers, pharisees, contortionists, personal assistants, nuns, nymphomaniacs, disco dollies, jet setters, freedom fighters, cabaret singers, men of letters, gender benders, pundits, rainmakers, creatures of the night, exiled royalty, autodidacts, fetishists, cunning linguists, vaudevillians, lovers and other strangers, cads, choreographers, social butterflies, bodhisattvas, rough trade, show people, steppenwolves, living legends, new romantics, movers and shakers, stevedores, oenophiles, magicians, eunuchs, gorgons, twins, fishwives, starlets, harlots, non-conformists, coloraturas, ambassadors, hop heads, literati, swingers, imaginary friends, astronauts, vixens, bikers, leftists, gold diggers, gigolos, mesmerists, jockeys, ballerinas, braggarts, steampunks, hypocrites, hermaphrodites, dilettantes, millionaires, billionaires, zillionaires, and more wigs than you can shake a stick at. So start shaking your stick and join in the fun!


Basically, just another day on Fabulon!


“But what will I wear when I visit Fabulon?" you ask.

Thombeau speaks …

On Fabulon, there are no trends. If something was in fashion once, it is in fashion still. On Earth, or "the backward planet", they are subject to the whims of Time and Space. Thus, styles seem to come and go. Silly mortals! Fabulosity is eternal. THAT is the secret of Life! To that end, we have done our best to increase awareness of such accoutrements as the mantilla, the ruff, the cigarette holder...but there is so much more! The monocle, the lorgnette, spats, peplums, even the lowly merkin deserve not just to be remembered but to be displayed in the most ostentatious manner imaginable. Be it a dickey, an ear horn, a mood ring, a fez or a snood, nothing is too obscure. Wear them with pride, we say!




And so …

On behalf of the staff here at Infomaniac (Mistress MJ, The Houseboys, The Infomaniac Dancers and the Infomaniac Orchestra) we thank you Thombeau for your gifts of glitz and glamour.

Happy Birthday, Thombeau!

You’re faboo!

Visit FABULON: Life on a Fabulous Planet!

Public Service Announcement #1

Have your Secret Lady Place examined regularly …


[photo via]

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

No Smoking

Smoking is forbidden chez Infomaniac.

Mistress MJ is away for the day and when she returns, she had better not find any fag butts* lying around …



See you on Sunday, bitches.

*Non-Brits click here for clarification of fag butts.

Filthy Friday – Laundry Edition

It’s laundry day chez Infomaniac.



Using this handy laundry guide to common care symbols, help us determine how to treat the dirty houseboy in the photo, above.

If there’s no symbol to adequately describe what you have in mind, suggest something else!

Or just tell us all about your laundry routine.

Do you have any tales to tell from the laundry room?

Guests Dropping In

So many of you have misbehaved and ended up in the oubliette that it’s hard to keep track of who’s down there.

Why just a few minutes ago, we lifted the trapdoor and discovered that unexpected guests had “dropped in” …


[photo via TJB of Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist]

If you know who they are or what they’re doing here, please notify us at once.

And should we let them stay?


P.S.: Whatever you do, do NOT click on this post from that saucy TJB.

Mistress MJ in her P.J.'s indeed!

Meanwhile, Down in the Oubliette

Oubliette: (noun) A dungeon with a trapdoor in the ceiling as its only means of entrance or exit.



As many of you know, Mistress MJ has an oubliette underneath the Plaid Room.

Ginro, unbeknownst to us, used our credit card to do a bit of sprucing up and DIY in the oubliette. He is the one who spends the most time locked up down there, after all. But is a cocktail bar really necessary? We don’t want you all to get too comfortable.

Anyway, our question to you is this …

Is there anything else you’d like to add to the oubliette?

Or shall we keep it minimalist?

Note: The trapdoor has been painted over as it was discovered that one could look up through it from below and see Mistress MJ’s Secret Lady Place.