Prime Minister Stephen Harper
*rolls back over to sleep*
I can’t be arsed to link to the news item and I doubt any of you can either.
Good night.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Canadian Election Snooze
Canada (Mistress MJ excluded) has opted for another four years of this…
Prime Minister Stephen Harper
*rolls back over to sleep*
I can’t be arsed to link to the news item and I doubt any of you can either.
Good night.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper
*rolls back over to sleep*
I can’t be arsed to link to the news item and I doubt any of you can either.
Good night.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Intermission
Happy Thanksgiving to our 3.5 Canadian readers.
Infomaniac is recuperating from a Thanksgiving-dinner-induced coma.
We’ll be back on Wednesday.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Fall Fashion Trends
Mistress MJ senses an ill wind blowing in from the Fall fashion collections.
Or it could just be a particularly foul odour emanating from the likes of any of you bitches.
Here’s a look we won’t be sporting anytime soon: The mini bowler hat…
Yours for only £35.00 ($70.00 Canadian or $60 U.S.)... stay tuned as markets fluctuate.
My ego is far too big to be contained in such a petite chapeau.
We’re simply NOT mad about plaid…
It’s a look that only Jimmy Bastard and Old Knudsen could pull off…
You KNOW how we at Infomaniac feel about ugly footwear!
We’re not a fan of the peeptoe high-heeled Oxford at the best of times…
But combine it with PLAID and this is the resulting fugliness…
We’ve seen enough.
What’s your look for Fall, bitches?
Or it could just be a particularly foul odour emanating from the likes of any of you bitches.
Here’s a look we won’t be sporting anytime soon: The mini bowler hat…
Yours for only £35.00 ($70.00 Canadian or $60 U.S.)... stay tuned as markets fluctuate.
My ego is far too big to be contained in such a petite chapeau.
We’re simply NOT mad about plaid…
It’s a look that only Jimmy Bastard and Old Knudsen could pull off…
You KNOW how we at Infomaniac feel about ugly footwear!
We’re not a fan of the peeptoe high-heeled Oxford at the best of times…
But combine it with PLAID and this is the resulting fugliness…
We’ve seen enough.
What’s your look for Fall, bitches?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Battle of the Sexes
Infomaniac offers you this unique opportunity to vent your spleen about the opposite sex.
But don’t think you can just spew and walk away.
Say your piece but then tell us how you would fix the problem!
How can we live together in peace and harmony?
(click to enlarge)
*visualizes healing violet light entering sacral chakra and inserts crystal suppository up Beast’s arse*
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Your Pussies and Bitches
This post is dedicated in loving memory of OPIE: beloved tater dog of Ms. Nations…
Now digging spuds in that Great Garden in the Sky.
BEAST
Here we have Alfie and Lloyd, two hounds belonging to the mad Mr C yet occasionally under the care of Beast…
Alfie: a Pharoah hound
Alfie looks like he’s just caught site of a buck naked Beast. Fright night!
Lloyd: A pit bull cross
Beast, what is that blue plastic thingy by Lloyd’s head? An inflatable device to resuscitate him after he’s smelled your stinky duvet?
The Hounds of Hell
Look carefully as this is the only time you’ll find bitches in Beast’s tiny bedsit.
In fact, both hounds look as though they’re sharing his bed, don’t they?
Lloyd looks as if he’s about to barf on that dreadful fireside carpet, which could only be an improvement to the design.
Honestly, Beast. Call in a decorator.
Inexplicable DeVice (IVD)
Aside from a gigantic spider that IVD found in his bath, Beaky the blackbird is as close to a pet as he gets…
Beaky feasting on sultanas
I should explain to newcomers that our IVD is a witch and Beaky is actually his familiar.
IVD describes Beaky as a “selfish, snobbish, imperialist, stuck up blackbird” who “doesn’t like fingers, children, clean cars, greasy hair and that high-pitched squeal that babies make”.
RANDOM CHICK
“His name is Rhett, as in Rhett Butler. He is crafty and can catch lizards like nobody's business. I have found several lizard carcasses lying about the house due to his hunting skills. He also has an annoying habit of running across my head in the while I'm sleeping because he is freaking out about something that goes bump in the night. The hubby thinks it's funny because he only runs across my head. I do not.”
Should we ask Random Chick to explain the pose? Is he imitating mommy?
INNER VOICES
Beau (left) and Charlie (right)
“My dogs have been without female contact of there own species for so long they have reverted to a prison style love affair... both taking turns being top and bottoms... they clean each other and sleep in one dog bed even though we have two.
Beau a.k.a., beautard, shitlips, meathead, etc... is a bit accident prone as some of you may have read in the past most recently we found out that the neighbors animals were being attacked by a massive bob cat and not a mountain lion... explains why we still have beau around and why we are not looking for him hanging in the trees.
Charlie a.k.a. chucky, chuckstick, fucking dog, etc... likes to steal anything and everything off the kitchen counter, dining room table, coffee table, etc... anything he can get his fucking paws up on.. he likes eating sandals, socks and cheeses leggings occasionally, including crotch but not exclusively.
Charlie once ate a rotting deer leg when we were staying at a friends house and unloaded five gallons of doggie ass water into cheeses subaru dashboard, seats, center console, door pockets... the joys of dog ownership eh?”
CYBERPETE
CyberPoof tells us, “I'll send you a photo of my parent’s dog. I'm not allowed to have pets.”
One wonders what THAT means but anyway, here’s Herman the German…
Herman the German's puppies
CECILE
Cecile hails from Arkansas and as befits the backwoods Ozark hillybilly image, here we see her brother and sister’s dogs mating…
Sadie and Gabe, the two little dogs that could and did
And now we’re treated to Cecile’s own three mutts…
Java Dog, the new waterless dishwasher system that is not only environmentally friendly but fuel efficient too.
Java (left) and Apollo (right) "Take a picture of my good side."
XL
Note to XL: Lola and RJ want to live with Mistress MJ.
Lola (too Siamese for her own good) and RJ (favorite cologne: Old Mice)
Lola and RJ are occasional guest bloggers on XL’s blog and I look forward to the day they take control of the keyboard and demand their own blog. And demand to move to Canada.
DAISY
Let’s hear what Daisy has to say about the bitch in her bed…
“I got up and got coffee early (3am) one morning...came back and Cosmo had gotten herself covered like this in my bed...she is terribly demanding as you can tell and takes the middle of the bed forcing me to sleep on the edge, little bitch that she is.”
But wait! There’s more!
Two more dogs in Daisy’s household…
Peaches the beagle
Daisy the Maltese
Miss Daisy, will you be taking your dogs to visit Alfie and Lloyd in England?
PRUNELLA JONES
Sassy Shirley the Easter Beagle
Jackie Waffles the world's naughtiest kitten (that's Pru’s bra he's chewing on)
Jorge the spider. Jorge is Pru’s favorite because he never poops.
LEAH
Next up: The elder statesman of our group…
Pippin
“Here's a picture of my dog, Pippin. Some might call him homely; I find him intoxicatingly handsome. He's portly, geriatric, and will definitely bite those who come too near.”
AND FINALLY…
BOLLIX (JIMMY BASTARD)
“Finley” the Cocker Spaniel
I cannot reveal my sources but I’m told that Jimmy Bastard cuddles Finley when they’re watching telly and that the pair resembles Beauty and the Beast.
“Jimmy” the Jack Russell
My spies also inform me that “Jimmy sleeps on the floor next to Jimmy Bastard’s side of the bed. He goes to work with Jimmy Bastard, he gets walked, fed, spoiled, bathed, brushed, not to mention sleeps on the dashboard of his van when they are on site.”
Does anyone else find it odd that Mr. Bollix’ Jack Russell shares not only HIS first name, but the name of his pleasure piston as well?
Mr. Bollix has taken me aside to whisper that he wishes he could lick his own balls like a wee doggie.
And with that we conclude our pictorial presentation of your precious pussies and bitches.
Infomaniac asks all of you to always treat your animal friends with kindness and affection and to give generously, if you can, to the animal charity of your choice.
Now bark like a dog, bitches!
Now digging spuds in that Great Garden in the Sky.
BEAST
Here we have Alfie and Lloyd, two hounds belonging to the mad Mr C yet occasionally under the care of Beast…
Alfie: a Pharoah hound
Alfie looks like he’s just caught site of a buck naked Beast. Fright night!
Lloyd: A pit bull cross
Beast, what is that blue plastic thingy by Lloyd’s head? An inflatable device to resuscitate him after he’s smelled your stinky duvet?
The Hounds of Hell
Look carefully as this is the only time you’ll find bitches in Beast’s tiny bedsit.
In fact, both hounds look as though they’re sharing his bed, don’t they?
Lloyd looks as if he’s about to barf on that dreadful fireside carpet, which could only be an improvement to the design.
Honestly, Beast. Call in a decorator.
Inexplicable DeVice (IVD)
Aside from a gigantic spider that IVD found in his bath, Beaky the blackbird is as close to a pet as he gets…
Beaky feasting on sultanas
I should explain to newcomers that our IVD is a witch and Beaky is actually his familiar.
IVD describes Beaky as a “selfish, snobbish, imperialist, stuck up blackbird” who “doesn’t like fingers, children, clean cars, greasy hair and that high-pitched squeal that babies make”.
RANDOM CHICK
“His name is Rhett, as in Rhett Butler. He is crafty and can catch lizards like nobody's business. I have found several lizard carcasses lying about the house due to his hunting skills. He also has an annoying habit of running across my head in the while I'm sleeping because he is freaking out about something that goes bump in the night. The hubby thinks it's funny because he only runs across my head. I do not.”
Should we ask Random Chick to explain the pose? Is he imitating mommy?
INNER VOICES
Beau (left) and Charlie (right)
“My dogs have been without female contact of there own species for so long they have reverted to a prison style love affair... both taking turns being top and bottoms... they clean each other and sleep in one dog bed even though we have two.
Beau a.k.a., beautard, shitlips, meathead, etc... is a bit accident prone as some of you may have read in the past most recently we found out that the neighbors animals were being attacked by a massive bob cat and not a mountain lion... explains why we still have beau around and why we are not looking for him hanging in the trees.
Charlie a.k.a. chucky, chuckstick, fucking dog, etc... likes to steal anything and everything off the kitchen counter, dining room table, coffee table, etc... anything he can get his fucking paws up on.. he likes eating sandals, socks and cheeses leggings occasionally, including crotch but not exclusively.
Charlie once ate a rotting deer leg when we were staying at a friends house and unloaded five gallons of doggie ass water into cheeses subaru dashboard, seats, center console, door pockets... the joys of dog ownership eh?”
CYBERPETE
CyberPoof tells us, “I'll send you a photo of my parent’s dog. I'm not allowed to have pets.”
One wonders what THAT means but anyway, here’s Herman the German…
Herman the German's puppies
CECILE
Cecile hails from Arkansas and as befits the backwoods Ozark hillybilly image, here we see her brother and sister’s dogs mating…
Sadie and Gabe, the two little dogs that could and did
And now we’re treated to Cecile’s own three mutts…
Java Dog, the new waterless dishwasher system that is not only environmentally friendly but fuel efficient too.
Java (left) and Apollo (right) "Take a picture of my good side."
XL
Note to XL: Lola and RJ want to live with Mistress MJ.
Lola (too Siamese for her own good) and RJ (favorite cologne: Old Mice)
Lola and RJ are occasional guest bloggers on XL’s blog and I look forward to the day they take control of the keyboard and demand their own blog. And demand to move to Canada.
DAISY
Let’s hear what Daisy has to say about the bitch in her bed…
“I got up and got coffee early (3am) one morning...came back and Cosmo had gotten herself covered like this in my bed...she is terribly demanding as you can tell and takes the middle of the bed forcing me to sleep on the edge, little bitch that she is.”
But wait! There’s more!
Two more dogs in Daisy’s household…
Peaches the beagle
Daisy the Maltese
Miss Daisy, will you be taking your dogs to visit Alfie and Lloyd in England?
PRUNELLA JONES
Sassy Shirley the Easter Beagle
Jackie Waffles the world's naughtiest kitten (that's Pru’s bra he's chewing on)
Jorge the spider. Jorge is Pru’s favorite because he never poops.
LEAH
Next up: The elder statesman of our group…
Pippin
“Here's a picture of my dog, Pippin. Some might call him homely; I find him intoxicatingly handsome. He's portly, geriatric, and will definitely bite those who come too near.”
AND FINALLY…
BOLLIX (JIMMY BASTARD)
“Finley” the Cocker Spaniel
I cannot reveal my sources but I’m told that Jimmy Bastard cuddles Finley when they’re watching telly and that the pair resembles Beauty and the Beast.
“Jimmy” the Jack Russell
My spies also inform me that “Jimmy sleeps on the floor next to Jimmy Bastard’s side of the bed. He goes to work with Jimmy Bastard, he gets walked, fed, spoiled, bathed, brushed, not to mention sleeps on the dashboard of his van when they are on site.”
Does anyone else find it odd that Mr. Bollix’ Jack Russell shares not only HIS first name, but the name of his pleasure piston as well?
Mr. Bollix has taken me aside to whisper that he wishes he could lick his own balls like a wee doggie.
And with that we conclude our pictorial presentation of your precious pussies and bitches.
Infomaniac asks all of you to always treat your animal friends with kindness and affection and to give generously, if you can, to the animal charity of your choice.
Now bark like a dog, bitches!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
What Should I Cock?
A reminder that on Wednesday, Infomaniac will be posting pics of your furry friends.
I won’t be around much today but in my absence, I’m leaving something for you to ponder.
This Google search arrived via London, England and is begging for an answer…
iam bored and hungry what should i cock?
Can anyone help?
See you Wednesday!
I won’t be around much today but in my absence, I’m leaving something for you to ponder.
This Google search arrived via London, England and is begging for an answer…
iam bored and hungry what should i cock?
Can anyone help?
See you Wednesday!
Monday, October 06, 2008
Create Farts
I’m planning a sickie today so I have plenty of time to fart around afterall.
I’m certain the rest of you would love to be farting around too so let’s make a game of it, shall we?
Create farts.
Go on!
Stay Tuned
Stay tuned as I'm still contagious so will have to take the day off work and will have time to blog, comment, etc. after all...
come back soon
come back soon
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Blogging from My Sick Bed
Mistress MJ is rallying around briefly from her sick bed to thank you for your "get well soon" wishes upon hearing of her illness.
Lord Tennisanyone has been hired as her court jester and XL is official pillow fluffer.
What about the rest of you? What services can you volunteer to aid in Mistress MJ's speedy recovery?
VOLUNTEER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
Reminder: Monday is the final day to submit pics of your animal pals. If you missed that posting, read all about it here.
Lord Tennisanyone has been hired as her court jester and XL is official pillow fluffer.
What about the rest of you? What services can you volunteer to aid in Mistress MJ's speedy recovery?
VOLUNTEER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
Reminder: Monday is the final day to submit pics of your animal pals. If you missed that posting, read all about it here.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Reading Weekend
It’s pouring rain, I’ve come down with a sore throat, and I’m taking to my bed with a shot of Jamesons and a book…
What are you doing this weekend?
What are you doing this weekend?
Friday, October 03, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Anonymous Rants and Raves
Occasionally, Infomaniac receives anonymous comments in response to our postings.
We tend to receive more rants than raves as typified in our item about White People Dreadlocks…
Anonymous said: You're a fucking idiot.
Dreadlocks are clean, they get washed, and they're no different than normal hair. By telling people that it's not okay to have dreads because of race you're only propagating discrimination. Some people have dreadlocks because they like them, some people have dreadlocks because they have hair that's hard to deal with so that's the easiest way to keep their hair.
I think you're just not comfortable with yourself and feel the need to hate on everyone. Go fuck yourself, cocksucker.
Anonymous said: "Dreads are not only fashion faux pas but they are also disgusting."
- Honest religious people, black or white, who have dreadlocks, are not concerned with your concept of fashion. It is also not disgusting, unless you're ignorant.
"Apparently, you don't wash your hair with shampoo and you treat the hair a special wax."
I've had them for four years. I'm white. I wash my hair every other day with a shampoo bar. I do not treat my hair with any kind of wax, gel, beeswax, bullshit, only simple thread to secure loose new hair and thats it.
Your conception of dreadlocks is negative. It shows disregard for the religious, historical and cultural reasonings behind the hair style.
This whole comment thread reeks of racism, stupidity, insanity, mythmaking, get a life.
Oh, and before you go off on me, I'm a college student with a degree, I've held a job for five years, and I am a productive intelligent member of society.
Anonymous said: As usual, Eurocentric people are misinformed. First off let me tell you that dreads are not unsanitary. If you knew anything about hair and skin care you would know that there are a wide range of products that one can use to maintain their hygiene. Some of which I make myself. All the negative comments you make lets me know that you're ignorant or very smart. I hope that you're using this blog to call attention to issues and not just hosting a bunch of stupid people with stupid comments. Damn people did you receive any attention growing up? What about as an adult? Some of you need help. I feel bad for you. Here's a hug!
But “Anonymous” is not always ranting. Sometimes Anonymous gives us positive feedback as exemplified by this response to our Armpit Sex posting…
Anonymous said: I love armpit sex anfd this picture made me cum. I did that to a girl pit and it was great.
Over to you now, bitches.
Tell us about some of the more memorable rants and raves you’ve received on your blogs.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Show Me Your Pussy!
MJ’s beautiful pussy
Show me your pussy! And all your other four-legged friends too.
Last year we asked you to send in photos of your critter companions and we posted the pics here.
It’s time once again to email pics of your furry or feathered friends along with a wee description of them.
You have until next Monday, October 6th to email your photographs. (Email address is in my Blogger Profile).
Your pics will appear here in a posting on Wednesday, October 8th.
And now a word from Old Knudsen’s bitch…
Fetch me your photos!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Happy Birthday, CyberPete!
(sung to the tune of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band)
It was thirty years ago today
A Danish woman gave birth to a gay
He’s quite swishy but he has lots of style
And he’s guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you,
The act you’ve known all these years,
CyberPoofter, leader of the band!...
Happy Birthday to CyberPete: our favourite Dane AND current custodian of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!
It was thirty years ago today
A Danish woman gave birth to a gay
He’s quite swishy but he has lots of style
And he’s guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you,
The act you’ve known all these years,
CyberPoofter, leader of the band!...
Happy Birthday to CyberPete: our favourite Dane AND current custodian of The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts!
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